"Nerd" Society Becoming too "Exclusive?"

[Guest]

I used quotes on the title for a reason. It's a question and it's also pointing out that people have different meanings of the words. So keep that in mind while you read here.

 

I've been into the "nerd" culture for a while now. I say it in quotes because the meaning of "nerd" seems to be changing now. A long time ago it was an insult, but now it seems to be an accepted label with little negative connotation when used among fellow "nerds". It's a term of endearment almost when you are using it to describe fellow "nerds".

 

There's a problem I am seeing lately though. Let me paint a scenario that happened to me a couple of weeks ago:

 

 

I'm at the comic shop, which I visit now and then. I wouldn't say I'm an extreme goer, but I have definitely been in there more than 10 times a year. I'm checking out some Spider-Man and my nose is in a comic book. While I'm reading I am overhearing a conversation between two gentlemen near me, one just walked in the store. Now this kid was clearly in a different territory. I mean we're talking fish completely out of water. I am thinking "cool, it's nice to see people of different walks of life coming to check out the goodness that is comics."

 

Well apparently I was the only one thinking that...

 

This guy who clearly frequented the comic scene all the time decides to talk to the kid first. I regret not going to talk to him myself before this guy did because I might have made him feel more welcome.

 

Now to give you an idea of the other guy, we are talking just about every "nerd" stereotype imaginable. Thundercats T-Shirt, thick beard, glasses, Magic the Gathering deck on his belt, the works.

 

Well he asks this kid about comics and the kid is clearly a novice to this medium. He knows a little about Super-Man and Batman and he's interested in comics. Well our "nerd" schools him on comics. I mean flat out schools. He bombards him with knowledge and goes on and on about how so many people only like the "mainstream" heroes because Hollywood is screwing them up and how true comic fans only like this, that and this. I was completely stunned because he was more or less prick waving to this kid. Going "look how much I know!" and ultimately intimidating him.

 

After he was done with his long belligerent prick waving, the new kid just left. Nothing to say and clearly his interest in the culture gone.

 

The same guy who schooled him I listened to about half an hour later talking with his friends and I overheard him complaining he can't find a girlfriend and he can't figure out why.

 

Me though? I can tell him why: because you act like that. That poor kid came into a place where he clearly was a fish out of water, interested in the medium and you scared him away because he wasn't an instant expert.

 

It got me to realizing... This is a fairly regular occurrence at the comic shop. How are we supposed to attract new fans and keep the medium alive when our veterans have a very unwelcoming aura about them? I notice a similar phenomenon in MMORPGs too. You're playing some Runescape and you don't know that a DDS is a "Dragon Dagger (++)" then you're a "noob". However the name of the item was changed back in 2009ish, from "Dragon Dagger (s)" so the only way you'd even know that it was once called that (therefore making the acronym make sense) is if you played back then.

 

My point is though, that lately I have felt the nerd culture has become a bit exclusive at times. Now I know there are still people out there welcoming new people with open arms, but it's hard to bring new people into the group and let them have an enjoyable experience because there are a lot of pricks out there purposely scaring off potential new people. Why is this happening? What has gotten into our fellow nerds?

 

What are your thoughts?

[Squids 19]

I think it's getting out of hand.. One thing I noticed too are all of the "nerd" things for girls.. It makes me really mad that they can say, "Haha, look I'm such a nerd lol #yolo" and they're jerks to kids that are actual "nerds" as in people that study, work hard, etc.

 

I'm sorry if I sound mean.. I don't mean to.

[Guest]

I think it's getting out of hand.. One thing I noticed too are all of the "nerd" things for girls.. It makes me really mad that they can say, "Haha, look I'm such a nerd lol #yolo" and they're jerks to kids that are actual "nerds" as in people that study, work hard, etc.

 

I'm sorry if I sound mean.. I don't mean to.

I also notice that females get graded on a waaaaaaay harsher scale. If you aren't A, B or C, you are labeled as a "fake nerd" or a "poser" and dismissed. I mean I will admit there are girls using it to get attention, but it's pretty sad when actual female nerds are getting turned away for not meeting an insanely growing list of "requirements".

[Squids 19]

I also notice that females get graded on a waaaaaaay harsher scale. If you aren't A, B or C, you are labeled as a "fake nerd" or a "poser" and dismissed. I mean I will admit there are girls using it to get attention, but it's pretty sad when actual female nerds are getting turned away for not meeting an insanely growing list of "requirements".

Exactly! It's horrible, it's like people can't be anything anymore without being criticized for not being like everyone else.

[Revy ~ Two Hands 862]

I'm into 'nerd culture' used to read a bunch of old comics, I always play old videogames and have a YouTube review show for them,

and I've even heard 'bronies' be associated with being nerds.

 

I don't accept the label personally, but there is a lot of cool stuff that comes under the umbrella term. 

The negative connations of being a nerd are of course being anti-social, personally I'm very social, so as long as you happen to have similar interests, I'm going to pretend to care about mainstream shit just to appease people who bore me. If I don't have common ground with someone we just won't talk.

Exactly! It's horrible, it's like people can't be anything anymore without being criticized for not being like everyone else.

If I find a girl interested in old videogames and 'nerd culture' stuff, I'm not going to be elitist I'm going to be like cool finally someone I can talk to without faining interest in topics that I don't care about.

[Guest]

I'm into 'nerd culture' used to read a bunch of old comics, I always play old videogames and have a YouTube review show for them,

and I've even heard 'bronies' be associated with being nerds.

 

I don't accept the label personally, but there is a lot of cool stuff that comes under the umbrella term. 

The negative connations of being a nerd are of course being anti-social, personally I'm very social, so as long as you happen to have similar interests, I'm going to pretend to care about mainstream shit just to appease people who bore me. If I don't have common ground with someone we just won't talk.

Well I wasn't talking about bronies really.

 

And the problem is that I see people are not nurturing to newcomers. They are like, "they like mainstream? They're crap." They don't take them under their wing anymore and show them the more obscure stuff that has a lot of quality in a non-threatening manner. It's much less common now.

[ReverseFaller 2,483]

I also notice that females get graded on a waaaaaaay harsher scale. If you aren't A, B or C, you are labeled as a "fake nerd" or a "poser" and dismissed. I mean I will admit there are girls using it to get attention, but it's pretty sad when actual female nerds are getting turned away for not meeting an insanely growing list of "requirements".

 

 

I've seen this happen before. At an Anime Convention I went to last year, I noticed one or two girls kept questioning random girl cosplayers about the show of the character they're dressing up as. Like, they have to "quiz them" to make sure they're not a "poser" or anything. It's sad. 

 

Those "requirements" for female nerds piss me off. 

[LunarWave 106]

meh. 

Why should some jerks matter at all?

If you like thing XX and some people say you dont know anything about thing XX and they know a bunch of trivia.. why the hell does it even matter? 

And just for the record, this has always been the same, it's not "becoming" too exclusive, it's natural for the "monkey brain" to want to feel superior to others, hense the trolling, calling out "posers", etc. If you want this to stop - start with yourself. 

 

here's a good article on the subject: http://www.thingist.com/item/4372/

[Guest]

 

 

If I find a girl interested in old videogames and 'nerd culture' stuff, I'm not going to be elitist I'm going to be like cool finally someone I can talk to without faining interest in topics that I don't care about.

 

My girlfriend likes Ironman and Star Trek. I am not going to complain that she doesn't know MMO terminology. People are taking crap for granted.

meh. 

Why should some jerks matter at all?

If you like thing XX and some people say you dont know anything about thing XX and they know a bunch of trivia.. why the hell does it even matter? 

And just for the record, this has always been the same, it's not "becoming" too exclusive, it's natural for the "monkey brain" to want to feel superior to others, hense the trolling, calling out "posers", etc. If you want this to stop - start with yourself. 

 

here's a good article on the subject: http://www.thingist.com/item/4372/

I would say it's gotten worse over the years. The internet has helped in that...

[Squids 19]

It's becoming really bad, like I can't even post on Instagram or something that I like Pokemon or Star Wars, because then people will be like, quizzing me about it..

 

Or for example, I tell people to add me on Steam, and they start asking me how many games I have and how many hours I've played, and they're like.. You're not a real gamer. Excuse you. I just want to play with my friends.

[LunarWave 106]

I would say it's gotten worse over the years. The internet has helped in that...

 

It just became more public, thanks to the internet forums and whatnot.

That's all there is. 

 

But of course some people like to pretend everything is getting worse every day while in fact everything keeps getting better.

You did not had a brony community a few years back which is at least a little bit geeky, and it's the most tolerant community we have right now. 

[Taviscratch 453]

I class myself as a nerd despite not having that much interest in comics (I study English so the meh writing of comics just doesn't cut it for me anymore) or card games like Magic the Gathering. I am an avid gamer, have an interest in science, I love sci-fi movies and I'm even into tabletop RPGs like Shadowrun (though it is difficult to find time and willing players to have a game).

 

It's always kind of heartbreaking when I walk into my local comic book shop (shoutout to Traveling Man) because I see the sort of behaviour you guys have been talking about. It's all down to insecurities: you can palpably smell the virginity on some of these guys and that's what they're insecure about. They haven't got a girlfriend, they can't get a girlfriend and to stave off castration anxiety (because after a while, the notion of having a girlfriend become a kind of trophy, a symbol of power) they belittle others for a lack of knowledge in an area which they themselves excel. The ironic thing is that acting like this is what drives girls away from them. It's a catch 22.

 

It may not be down to not having a girlfriend, it could be down to other insecurities like, say, being unemployed. It's the same as rich businessmen with hollow little lives and no friends who care about them who flaunt their wealth through obnoxious cars and tasteless suits or the jock who knows he's stupid but attempts to make up for it by working out 5 hours a day and showing of his muscles in a vest.

[Guest]

It's becoming really bad, like I can't even post on Instagram or something that I like Pokemon or Star Wars, because then people will be like, quizzing me about it..

 

Or for example, I tell people to add me on Steam, and they start asking me how many games I have and how many hours I've played, and they're like.. You're not a real gamer. Excuse you. I just want to play with my friends.

Oh yeah totally. What's worse is that sadly... There ARE people who are "posing" for bragging rights and it makes it harder (especially for women) to actually be accepted in the nerd culture. I have an acquaintance who didn't even own a single console in her life. Me and my good buddy Mark helped her build a pretty nice gaming rig. Me and Mark more or less picked out the parts, explained how they worked and built her a nice computer. WE built it in hopes that we were doing a kindness and encouraging someone else to get into the PC gamer world.

 

Well, our kindness backfired. Same girl basically turned around and is always bragging she's a PC gamer and acting like she's better than everyone because she has parts A, B and C. The irony is she plays games that are far from PC exclusives. Me and Mark are just sitting there now though going, "what the hell? We didn't bring you in so you could be a douche to other newcomers! We brought you in so you could hopefully follow in the example we set for you and take people under your wing and welcome them!"

 

And because she's female, it sadly pushes that "female gamer" stereotype further.

 

Like as much as I hate people that are trying to act like they are "gamers" for liking Pokemon, we shouldn't insult girls for liking Pokemon. I see so many people rag on girls for liking Pokemon, when liking Pokemon does not instantly make you a "poser gamer". It's when you brag about liking Pokemon and how it makes you a "gamer".

 

 

You did not had a brony community a few years back which is at least a little bit geeky, and it's the most tolerant community we have right now. 

 

No, but we had similar communities. Bronies aren't exactly a "new" phenomenon. Remember Powerpuff Girls?

 

Also Bronies are far from the most tolerant community on the internet right now. They are definitely the one who gives the illusion of tolerance the most though. I can list of tons of incidents that were pretty big in this fandom that were blatant displays of intolerance:

 

1. The extreme resistance to Alicorn Twilight.

2. Extreme resistance to Equestria Girls

3. Petition after petition to try and force Hasbro to do A, B and C.

 

You can't really claim that events like this are "the minority" because a lot of them made big brony news sites and caused a huge uproar. Bronies may be willing to accept people into the fandom easily, but that does not make them tolerant.

[Fluttershyfan94 5,737]

I've noticed this as well. It's sad really because being a nerd used to mean that you were a bit of an outcast. Well used to be, so seeing fellow nerds is awesome. I think the problem is that some nerds take things like this too seriously. Which is understandable, but when it comes to new comers we as nerds who may share the same interest should rather welcome them to join our ranks. We should not talk down to them or intimidate them, we should rather educate them.

 

Whatever type of nerd you are, we should rather be happy seeing a fellow nerd.

 

I think in this case, he was just being a bit of a jerk. Might not even have realized he was being a jerk. So like anywhere else there are different people.

[LunarWave 106]

.Remember Powerpuff Girls?

 

Also Bronies are far from the most tolerant community on the internet right now. They are definitely the one who gives the illusion of tolerance the most though. I can list of tons of incidents that were pretty big in this fandom that were blatant displays of intolerance:

 

1. The extreme resistance to Alicorn Twilight.

2. Extreme resistance to Equestria Girls

3. Petition after petition to try and force Hasbro to do A, B and C.

 

You can't really claim that events like this are "the minority" because a lot of them made big brony news sites and caused a huge uproar. Bronies may be willing to accept people into the fandom easily, but that does not make them tolerant.

 

Nope. Never seen it, and not really want to (although the recent game does looks pretty sweet) 

the INCIDENTS are INCIDENTS, they happen everywhere, all the time and are not by any means indicator of the whole community. 

 

1,2,3 mean nothing. At all. And just by bringing out hate on " hateful nerds" you just become one of "them" 

And I can claim that because.. it's minority that's vocal. Uproar, news sites matter null for me, and well, why should they? 

And just to be clear.. if I say "bronies are tolerant" does not mean all of them are. 

The community in general is one of the most friendly on the internets. 

 

If you want to keep on reading past my posts and quoting only things you want to point out wrong - well, perhaps there is something wrong here.

Edited March 8, 2014 by LunarWave

[Taviscratch 453]

The gaming community can be pretty harsh on girls too. Most male players, when confronted with a female gamer, will either murder the shit out of her for no reason or mollycoddle her like a delicate flower and assume she's not very good. I will judge players on 4 factors:

1. Their gamertag: This is a good indicator of how much of a dick someone probably is. If their name is "Xx YoloSwagMan xX" then it's very likely he's a complete prick and, rest assured, I will hunt him down continuously on GTA V until he leaves the server.
2. Their Zone: If a player has placed himself in Pro and they have a gamerscore of, say, 3000 then they are a delusional arsehole. They are the MLG douches who are similarly insecure to the elitist nerds we've been talking about. I am in Underground because I swear profusely online...keep it away from the kids.
3. Their skill: This goes without saying, I enjoy playing with gamers who are skilled and there's nothing more annoying than having a heist go tits up on Payday 2 because some idiot joined at the last minute and threw half the coke in the water. As soon as somebody misses the heli or turns the power off before we've shocked our way into the vault, they're getting kicked.
4. Their attitude: This is the most important of all. If somebody is pleasant than it is a pleasure to play with them. A modest nature, good sense of humour and the ability to avoid entering into vendettas are all very good. I may be lacking in the last part myself.

Gender never enters into it and I will never judge a gamer for being female, if they're fun to play with and they can pull their weight on a team then welcome aboard. Having said that, it's unfortunate my girlfriend isn't that good at pulling her weight online...it makes mollycoddling necessary sometimes -_-

[SacredHooves 39]

I agree that the label of nerd is being mis-treated just like the "original meaning" of the word gay meant happy [don we now, our gay apparel] [make the yule-tide gay], and also the "original meaning" of the Rainbow [God's promise to Noah after the flood that once he sees it, God will not flood the Earth as a form of wiping the slate clean again because we suck].  THOSE points not withstanding nor effecting what I'm about to say, nerd is a title that isn't being used in the right way in my humble opinion.

 

Bookworms, Science majors, doctors, and things of those kinds: to me they are more geeks then nerds.

Avid gamers, comicbook lovers, manga/anime lovers, the twenty-five year old virgin living at his mom's doing all three mentioned things: Nerd/Otaku!

 

There is nothing wrong with being a Nerd/Geek/Otaku AS LONG AS YOU KNOW WHEN TO STOP IN FRONT OF PEOPLE!  If someone is new to a fandom you don't rush them after their opening sentence.  "Hi my name is Steve and I just watched My Little Pony for the first time, and I found this site."  "Hi Steve im Psycho Horse(random name don't blame me if you exist lol) in what episode of season 1 did blah blah blaahdy blah happen to blah?"  <--- [spoiler ALERT]  turn off! 

 

In the end my thing is, when I see "noobs" I don't think insta-prey I think opportunities to help them grow.  I will admit one of my major faults with "Gaming Nerds" or as I call them "Epeen patrol" like to feel superior, and they will flat out attack a noob for not knowing anything from the get go.  Like I dunno say they were playing World of Warcraft it's your first raid, and oops you trigger the harder version of the fight by mistake.  Without hesitation, the "leader" of the group kicks you, everyone wipes and leaves because "Well the @!#%^# noob @#$%^& did this and @#!%^& and [insert cuss after cuss after cuss in a run on sentence]  THAT boils me because my response would be like "Head's up were doing the higher fight, and just be ready." then go to the new person and be like "Hey I am not mad we didn't fail, it was tougher and some of us weren't ready, so just check with me before you touch anything else alright?"  I wouldn't start throwing "Ban hammers" until it became a common thing that the person did it just to spite us.

 

Bottom line: people learn your limits. Nerds/Otakus/Geeks need to learn theirs too somedays just as well.

[Guest]

Nope. Never seen it, and not really want to

 

No offense, but if you're not familiar with the other cultures like this one, how can you claim that this one is "unique" or "would never have happened"?

 

 

 

the INCIDENTS are INCIDENTS, they happen everywhere, all the time and are not by any means indicator of the whole community.

 

No, but the frequency and attitude towards these incidents can be.

 

 

 

1,2,3 mean nothing. At all.

 

And you base that on the grounds of...?

 

 

 

And just by bringing out hate on " hateful nerds" you just become one of "them"

 

Whoa, whoa, whoa. Step it back there, no one is "hating" on them, we are merely disagreeing with this kind of behavior and discouraging it. There is a big difference.

 

 

 

And I can claim that because.. it's minority that's vocal. Uproar, news sites matter null for me, and well, why should they? 

 

Because there is more and more evidence to suggest that this "minority" isn't actually the minority. It's not "proven" but there's reason to doubt it.

 

 

 

And just to be clear.. if I say "bronies are tolerant" does not mean all of them are.  The community in general is one of the most friendly on the internets.

 

And that is what I feel is debatable.

 

 

 

If you want to keep on reading past my posts and quoting only things you want to point out wrong - well, perhaps there is something wrong here.

 

Why the hostility? I am merely quoting so you know which part I am responding too specifically. It doesn't mean I am not reading the rest of it. Just because I point out that I believe something is on the contrary doesn't mean you have to be so vicious to defend what you say. 

 

I kindly ask you to lower the hostility and watch it on the insulting comments please.

Edited March 8, 2014 by Guest

[Moaning Myrtle 196]

The "fake nerd" stereotype may actually be fake nerds posing as what most people consider "nerds" and in reality post 10000 pictures a day as a nerd and getting tons of likes because of her face and boobs.

[Guest]

The "fake nerd" stereotype may actually be fake nerds posing as what most people consider "nerds" and in reality post 10000 pictures a day as a nerd and getting tons of likes because of her face and boobs.

I am not denying that some people do try to use the title for attention, but we shouldn't be turning away people with legitimate interest based upon suspicion alone.

[LunarWave 106]

And that is what I feel is debatable.

 

Why the hostility? I am merely quoting so you know which part I am responding too specifically. It doesn't mean I am not reading the rest of it. Just because I point out that I believe something is on the contrary doesn't mean you have to be so vicious to defend what you say. 

 

I dont have the time for this... 

Alright, you win, go scream and preach one point over and over. 

[Guest]

I dont have the time for this... 

Alright, you win, go scream and preach one point over and over. 

Okay, now you're just being kind pointlessly rude.

 

If you want to disagree, do so respectfully please. There is no need to sarcastically demean people in this thread or raise hostility because people disagree with you. You're only making yourself look bad by doing so. If you have a disagreeing point, collectively state what it is and why you feel that way, but don't just come in and go "you're wrong", give little to back it up and when someone questions you just insult them and then respond sarcastically like this.

 

Further action such as this will be reported as spam.

 

Thank you.

[Ribbonfree 2,382]

Alright so in my honest opinion it's just yet another case of humans being humans. Whenever humans form a group, it's inherent that said group will be in someway unfriendly to other groups that are sufficiently different. Discrimination is hardwired into us at a primal level, though I can't quite remember the specifics and I'd have to brush up on those. But it's just an issue of nerds forming a group that feels 'different' enough from other groups that they can choose to discriminate against the norm. One of the norms being the male majority, in the case of discrimination against girl gamers, etc.

[Fhaolan 4,468]

I used quotes on the title for a reason. It's a question and it's also pointing out that people have different meanings of the words. So keep that in mind while you read here.

I snipped the example just to save space.

 

Unfortunately, I'm not sure the word 'becoming' is accurate. I've seen this behavior from people thirty years ago in a D&D club. Prospective new members show up, and some guy extremely similar to your description instantly starts regaling them with how 'his character used Tiamat to 'waterski' on the first plane of Hell.' (I remember the exact story very well because it was just that annoying) and drives them away. And forty years ago with new people wanting to join a model rocketry club, similar situation, similar guy, with similar results.

 

So this subtype of nerd has been around for a long, long time. Heck, I'm told by my dad that in the antique car clubs, that type of person was around sixty years ago, so that kind of nerd actually predates *me*.

 

Yes, this is very annoying and drives people away, but with that type of person, if you try to intercept to give the new person a more pleasant experience, the unpleasant nerd is just going to constantly interrupt and try to talk over you. That's how unpleasant they seem to be on average.

[Geek0zoid 1,467]

In my opinion, there're all kinds of nerds. Gaming nears (Like me), Sports nerds, trading card nerds, all kinds. I don't think a "nerd" should be an exclusive club, like a night bar, especially for females. Females can be on the same level of... nerdiness as guys. I've met plenty of girl nerds, and I really think they're good people