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general How do you feel about romantic relationships?


FatalRain

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  • 2 weeks later...
  • 1 month later...

Are you in one?

  • Yes. Almost 5 years.

Do you want one?

  • Well, certainly not another one, haha!

How do you feel around other couples?

  • Eh. I don't really care. Even when I was single, I wasn't bitter toward those who did find it. I kinda stopped caring about my love life so heavily. Not sure if I matured or if I became jaded after so much lack of success. Probably some of Column A, some of Column B

How many have you had?

  • This is my sixth. This is, by and large, the longest I've ever been with someone. All the others ranged from one week to eight months. 

It's funny. My parents always told me I'd forget the names and faces of all the girls I ever dated. I didn't. It's been 13 years since my first girlfriend and I still remember everything. 11 years since the second and I remember her name and face vividly. It's not that I didn't move on. I just remember. Things might not have worked out, but I don't hate any of them. I was in a very dark place up until I was about 24 anyway. I wouldn't want to be with me in that place either. 

I'm in therapy these days. Trying to overcome a looooooot of years of physical and emotional abuse. Things are good in my current relationship, but we hit rough patches from time to time and I have a lot of trouble because of it so I'm pretty hopeful that therapy helps me to open up and talk so we can better communicate. 

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I think it’s a double edged sword. If it works, it’s wonderful, but I believe it’s been idealized too much and many people think their lives depends on it, not aware it can come crashing down 

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I gotta be honest, I have a complete 0% interest in dating (in other words, I have no plans dating anyone, even if I became a adult) 

 

Why? I guess dating isn't my type. I'm pretty sure that it'll probably cause me more stressed out or something and I got a lots of better things to do than dating so I chose to stay single in my entire life.

 

I did have few crushes on mostly girls but they're mostly celebrities (Miranda Cosgrove and Victoria Justice) and weirdly, fictional characters (Sunset Shimmer, Pony Twilight Sparkle and Human & Pony Fluttershy) but they're crushes and that's it. 

 

Like I said, though, I have no current and future plans to dating someone.

Edited by raykv423
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Romantic relationships? Personally I'm a huge fan of them and one of the best experiences you can have through your entire life.

Now I understand that being part of a relationship isn't everyone's cups of tea and may want to wait until that special day or maybe they frankly don't want a relationship for the time being. That's perfectly understandable. As humans, we all rely on relationships. Whether it be with their parents, family, friends, teachers or a few romantic interests. You cannot go on in the world, saying you never were in a "relationship". That's physically impossible. We all have dealt with platonic relationships before. But the point is they help shape who we truly are and discover more about who you are. They shape up into the person you are today and how to interact with those around you. Heck, the very first relationship you experience is with your parents!

Now going back to the topic,

A romantic relationship is signifying that you're above platonic and you love your partner at the same levels of your parents. You even view them in an attractive way. But the whole point of a romantic relationship to finally find someone that you're willing to settle down with for the rest of your life. Someone to stay by their side until their last breath. It's pretty romantic in my opinion. But like I said, not everyone wants to get into a relationship that fast or they just want to wait for that day to arrive. Or maybe you're searching for the one right now and you can't find them.

My advice is to not give up and keep sticking your head out the window. Someday you'll meet your special someone and you'll experience love like no other. After all, there might be seven billion people alive on this planet but there is definitely someone out there who thinks very highly of you. You just don't know it yet.

I've been in a fair share of relationships (mostly long distance relationships) and I can say that I had my ups and downs with them. Not every relationship is "perfect". But even through those obstacles, it only makes the relationship stronger as time goes on. Now I'm in a loving six year long distance relationship with my partner who lives in North America/Canada. Everyday is always something different and while we're far apart, our love still grows everyday. The best part about it? You can build up a lot of confidence even without seeing them in real life. That way when you meet them in real life, you're more prepared to get comfortable with your partner rather than being in a real life relationship. I'm not trying to diss those who are in a real life relationship! All relationships are different! But they all have one thing in common.

Love. Thanks for listening to me rambling. :ButtercupLaugh:

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I’m honestly not sure if I’ll date in the future or not. I keep saying to myself “I’ll just find somebody” but it’s not like I actually go looking for people though. Farthest I’ve ever gone is having a couple of fan crushes so I really don’t know yet.

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19 hours ago, VinylWubs said:

Romantic relationships? Personally I'm a huge fan of them and one of the best experiences you can have through your entire life.

Now I understand that being part of a relationship isn't everyone's cups of tea and may want to wait until that special day or maybe they frankly don't want a relationship for the time being. That's perfectly understandable. As humans, we all rely on relationships. Whether it be with their parents, family, friends, teachers or a few romantic interests. You cannot go on in the world, saying you never were in a "relationship". That's physically impossible. We all have dealt with platonic relationships before. But the point is they help shape who we truly are and discover more about who you are. They shape up into the person you are today and how to interact with those around you. Heck, the very first relationship you experience is with your parents!

Now going back to the topic,

A romantic relationship is signifying that you're above platonic and you love your partner at the same levels of your parents. You even view them in an attractive way. But the whole point of a romantic relationship to finally find someone that you're willing to settle down with for the rest of your life. Someone to stay by their side until their last breath. It's pretty romantic in my opinion. But like I said, not everyone wants to get into a relationship that fast or they just want to wait for that day to arrive. Or maybe you're searching for the one right now and you can't find them.

My advice is to not give up and keep sticking your head out the window. Someday you'll meet your special someone and you'll experience love like no other. After all, there might be seven billion people alive on this planet but there is definitely someone out there who thinks very highly of you. You just don't know it yet.

I've been in a fair share of relationships (mostly long distance relationships) and I can say that I had my ups and downs with them. Not every relationship is "perfect". But even through those obstacles, it only makes the relationship stronger as time goes on. Now I'm in a loving six year long distance relationship with my partner who lives in North America/Canada. Everyday is always something different and while we're far apart, our love still grows everyday. The best part about it? You can build up a lot of confidence even without seeing them in real life. That way when you meet them in real life, you're more prepared to get comfortable with your partner rather than being in a real life relationship. I'm not trying to diss those who are in a real life relationship! All relationships are different! But they all have one thing in common.

Love. Thanks for listening to me rambling. :ButtercupLaugh:

How are romantic relationships of the best experiences you can have through your entire life though? There's more to life than romance. 

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On 12/8/2020 at 8:49 PM, VinylWubs said:

As humans, we all rely on relationships. Whether it be with their parents, family, friends, teachers or a few romantic interests. You cannot go on in the world, saying you never were in a "relationship". That's physically impossible. We all have dealt with platonic relationships before. But the point is they help shape who we truly are and discover more about who you are. They shape up into the person you are today and how to interact with those around you. Heck, the very first relationship you experience is with your parents!

Depends on the context of relationship, relationship isn't as commonly used in non romantic sense. And also sort of quite different.

At the end of the day it is just a concept and in a way you could say you never been in a relationship if you disregard the whole concept. It is a label, just like friendship also to describe the status of two or more things. Ofc if its the act of relating to people generally then we do that all the time, but do we consider the people we met only once maybe twice as relationships? Is meeting someone more and having them more in your life instanly make someone more important. What if one person came to you and told you something major or did something that changed ur life, then u never saw them again lol

I mean yeah parental care is vital for human beings as human babies are not creatures born self sufficient nor nearly developed. Nuture is a huge part of the process. And from teachers and vital play. But this is for survival and pretty necessary. At least up until a certain age.

 

 

On 12/8/2020 at 8:49 PM, VinylWubs said:

A romantic relationship is signifying that you're above platonic and you love your partner at the same levels of your parents. You even view them in an attractive way. But the whole point of a romantic relationship to finally find someone that you're willing to settle down with for the rest of your life. Someone to stay by their side until their last breath. It's pretty romantic in my opinion. But like I said, not everyone wants to get into a relationship that fast or they just want to wait for that day to arrive. Or maybe you're searching for the one right now and you can't find them.

Some people identify inbetween some romantic or platonic. Some people don't do romantic at all. But in the end I think they r all just labels.

How about poly people, or people who want to constantly explore and meet new people. 

Are people you are involved romantically more important than those platonically? Is there a hierachy. How about if u find ur best friend more important, do u need to be attracted to someone sexually or romantically for them to be important. 

 

 

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I'm in one for the first time in forever and I have much to learn after being single for pretty much the entirety of my twenties (to be fair, it was complicated during a number of those years).

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Are you in one? 
 
No I am not

Do you want one?

I would like to be.

How do you feel around other couples?

It depends on the couple. If they’re all over each other it’s kind of awkward to be around.

How many have you had?

Nothing I would deem serious so I will say none. None of them hit that level


 
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  • 2 weeks later...
  • 7 months later...
  • 9 months later...
  • 4 weeks later...

 

  • Are you in one?

no.

  • Do you want one?

As my old self once say “it’s pointless.” but that was 6ish years ago and right now, I’m 31 so it would be kinda nice to be in one. Sometimes I would think about it and feel lonely and sometimes I don’t mind being single and go on with my own life just fine. It’s one of those things that comes and go. 

  • How do you feel around other couples?

Couldn’t care less but I don’t like public attractions except I don’t mind people holding hands or hugs. Although I think coming around this late, whenever I tried to find someone, they’re always either end up already married or taken so yea. Like most people are married at the age 24! People would say why haven’t I found anyone yet? I say, not my fault most people are married at their early 20s!:umad: I don’t want to date someone young like in their early 20s nor late like around their 30s passed my age.

  • How many have you had?

My highest record…None.

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in the process and its hard not to get anxious after getting bodied multiple times and potential ones not going anywhere. I'm just praying to god that I don't mess it up and fate doesn't chew me up and spit me out again but alas I just have to keep pushing if it doesn't work out. So far so good I think but sometimes I think being overly nice means I get taken advantage of so not sure how to feel about that I just get scared. 

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I've been "alone" for over 7 years and the last relationship I was in was very short lived. I would rather be alone than force myself to sit beside someone I loathe. It's not that bad AT ALL, EVERYTHING, is on your own time, at your own will, there are no compromises, there are no significant sacrifices. Priorities are different from person to person and it's not to say that I wouldn't be willing to make sacrifices for the appropriate relationship, but you need to have compelling reasons to be with someone, not bc you are lonely and desperate. You need to share goals, interests, even some of the same philosophy, we are "on the same page" type of thing. I am a loner tbh, but when it comes to relationships I'm not even the slightest bit interested in entertaining anything that isn't intended to be a serious long term relationship that's upheld with OUTRIGHT fidelity. I'm sensitive, I will leave someone over flirting with an other, I admit I'm a jealous person, which is exactly why I can't be with someone unless I KNOW FOR FACT, they are just as serious as me. I'm not shallow, I just am particularly NOT interested in promiscuous individuals. I would rather be alone and have ppl think I'm a loser, than actually be a loser that stays in an unfaithful relationship. Emotional maturity ranges, but to me there is no such thing as an open relationship, there is no such thing as a second chance, I am pretty about my "other" when I have them, the top priority, is HOW WE SEE AND TREAT EACH OTHER, NOT, how we want the outside world to see our relationship. I'm only for a relationship that's ALL IN otherwise, there's no point in even bothering.

 

 

 

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Not in one, never have been, and honestly not too concerned about it. It would be really nice don't get me wrong, but I have it hard enough making a simple friend, I'm not also going to stress myself out over finding a partner.

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(edited)

Bonding and emotional interaction are essential aspects in the developlment of every healthy human being. And a vital part of a fulfilling life. But I think romanticism is more of a social construct or ritual performed around the dysfunctional reality of the traumatized human condition, because people can be as romantic as animals deep down, or worse, at least in the current "capitalistic" state of the "global" psyche. There is this dissociative and compulsive behaviour in society, that I perceive as a sign of emotional trauma and de-humanization. The trauma is there and the addiction is there.

Which is why emotional health is so important. Because a decompensated human being with a disciplinary problem due to an emotionally unavailable mother and an absent father figure results in someone who is unable to sustain relationships. Much like my own father when he abandoned me. I know it sounds cheesy, but my heart is broken. And emotional trauma is a very real thing. Especially because of the history of adultery and emotional treason that is so present in my family. This family is destroyed because of it. It suffers from chronic depression, as well as abusive and addictive behaviors as a result of the profoundly rooted emotional pain that we share as a collective group. Some of them are so emotionally traumatized that they do not know what is happening with them. And they are unable to offer any emotional or human support. They cannot "feel" for real. And are having issues to tell which sex they belong to. Even if there is only two. And looking between their legs should be enough to tell.

So, romanticism is broken. No, I mean love is broken because of romanticism. The heart is broken. And if you take the center away. Then you are left with nothing but this feeling of fracture and emptiness inside your chest, as well opposite and toxic extremes which are equally harmful. Sounds familiar? Machismo and feminism. The stereotypes that misrepresent true human nature, and are the source of gender dysphoria. Because emotionally traumatized people from emotionally traumatized families with the common abusive elements of machismo and feminism, which are false mother and father stereotypes, create further emotional trauma and confusion in children regarding their sexuality.

The question for me is where does this trauma originate from to create this distortion in the natural behavior of humanity? Why is the world like this? What happened with this creation?

The word that is hidden by romantiscism is all I need in my life, when I am feeling like a wild animal banging against my cage. Because my emotional capacity is traumatized, and it is aggravating the instinctual response. And once the animal is satisfied, then the emotional pain returns again. It is like a cycle I cannot escape because of the emotional damage caused by my own mother and father, who were traumatized human beings themselves, because of the nature of this messed up world and the influence of religion in my family.

So, there is no "romanticism", by which I mean real love left in this family. People have become "materialistic" and look for ways to exploit each other. Sounds like capatilism. So, exatly like the image of a traumatized world where romanticism reigns supreme.

Romanticism... I hate that word. Every way leads to rome. And rome in spanish is called "roma". Which read backwards means amor. And amor means love. So, perhaps that religious empire is there to hide the upside down state of humanity and the consumptive, abusive and materialistic model that has become popularized across the whole world. Especially in that concerning the emotional health of humanity.
There seems to be a severe wound involving the heart of this creation. Which is especially present in this family. And this trauma can result in very abusive and distorted behaviours. With people becoming "capitalistic", all of the sudden. Compulsive and exploitative because of the emotional trauma.

The question is, where did this emotional trauma originate from? And what happened in the creator family? Now we have a creation without a creator. And a world that believes they exist on a planet orbiting through space. Which is the paradigm that spawned from the vatican with the ideology of scientism introduced by the jesuits and their astronomers. The whole world looks like a distorted image to me. Love is distorted. And the heart is off-center. I know there is a love that is more real than this.

So, there it is the source of the sickness and disease in this world. Romanticism.

Edited by They call me Loyalty
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