mega thread What are you thinking?

[Splashee 28,537]

On 2022-08-17 at 12:05 AM, dapper_donkey said:

thinking about how tomorrow is my first day back in school. i don’t know how i’m going to function. i haven’t spoken to many people this summer, i overall don’t feel very used to irl conversations. i’m scared i’ll embarrass myself. i know i’ll have to make new friends this year, and i don’t like that thought at all. i know my current ones will slowly drift away after this year, it sucks 

I believe in you 🌹 

[Woohoo 32,565]

1 hour ago, SolaceFall said:

My gosh this though.... most workplaces have the worst.... music always playing. 

There's at least some variety on my work soundtrack. Sometimes I hear a Sting or Phil Collins song, but most of the songs are just 2005-present pop. It's also especially heavy on Taylor Swift. 

[outlaw_f0x 149]

i’m horrified atm. trying to distract myself. i think my dad has figured out i’m trans, and i am absolutely not ready for that conversation. he has expressed his dislike for the lgbt in the past (even though his own mother is married to a woman?  makes no sense to me), and i know he won’t accept me for me. i don’t know if he actually knows or if i’m just being paranoid, but the thought just makes me want to lay down on the floor and cry. 

[Gone Airbourne 21,969]

3 minutes ago, Woohoo said:

There's at least some variety on my work soundtrack. Sometimes I hear a Sting or Phil Collins song, but most of the songs are just 2005-present pop. It's also especially heavy on Taylor Swift. 

Ughh,,,, our place actually place plays some really decent music: The Who, AC/DC, Halen, & the Stones fortunately but then they also play it mixed with really REALLY bad country music... I like Johnny Cash/Willie Nelson however other than that I don't like it. Guess I should be thankful that they play halfway decent stuff. I used to work for a place called Five Below and that place..... played the *worst crap* even worse than what your place seems to play.

[Splashee 28,537]

1 minute ago, dapper_donkey said:

i’m horrified atm. trying to distract myself. i think my dad has figured out i’m trans, and i am absolutely not ready for that conversation. he has expressed his dislike for the lgbt in the past (even though his own mother is married to a woman?  makes no sense to me), and i know he won’t accept me for me. i don’t know if he actually knows or if i’m just being paranoid, but the thought just makes me want to lay down on the floor and cry. 

 Parents can be so cruel sometimes.

[DubWolf 16,613]

You want all the good things to happen now so you can enjoy them long before the bad things come.

[They call me Loyalty 1,941]

God. I was thinking about this quote from Nietzsche. Where it says God is dead because people have killed God inside their hearts. And I am both estranged and familiarized by this representation of the madman looking for God, in a world where madness looks like normality. Within a materialistic paradigm of quantifiable knowledge, limited by the very rules of measurement that the finite logic of the mortal mind imposes over our reality.

Therefore excluding the existance of anything divine, and thereupon rejecting the holiness of life. With the adoption of amoralistic values that are reflected across a society that mirrors human godlessness.
Even to the point of the "lawful" murder of life in the form of abortion, under the label of an objectifying misnomer that intends to degrade the nature of the life that is being put to death.
All in opposition with the laws given by God. All in rejection of God. And it is terrifying to look at this reality, and find that my fears are comfirmend when I see the locomotive behaviour that has been adopted by the world. So much as to question the very nature of my my moral values and my own identity, within the formless context of lawlessness that shapes the whole world after this Godless paradigm.

Did God really abandon creation? Why is the nature of Spirit is so thin within people. Am I crazy? Or they are? Because I cannot find myself in this world. And I don't want to. I am afraid to do so. Something within my heart is telling me this is wrong, and that I must keep seeking after my own heart.
Yet, I cannot help to keep wondering about the nature of what I am looking for, God, and what type of standard I will be measured with, once this cycle comes to an end.

Because in spite of our modern global paradigm of paganistic religious scientism and false objectifying materiality. I've been searching, and learning from those who came before me. As my family left many occultic texts before they were departed from this world, many of which were permeated by their own spiritual pain and mental distortions, but also with much knowledge about the nature of this reality. So, it was dangerous to read them, especially for someone who is without a defined identity, such as myself. As I am in a constant state of fluctuation, to avoid becoming crystalized or objectified into a wrong form that does not reflect the nature of God.

Some of the knowledge in these texts regards bilocation, that allows the soul to become an observer of reality.

And it is this knowledge allowed me to unfold the electromagnetic field that keeps my consciousness tied to the phyisical form that is understood as my self. And temporarely become a "watcher" who is able to pass through physical objects, and move freely across this realm of existence.
And through this technique, I was able to study this reality to some degree, as to prove that much of the scriptural knowledge could be true. Not only the planar nature of this creation, as observed above the atmosphere, but also with the presence of ancient ruins under the atlantic ocean, from an older civilization that was destroyed by a cataclysmic event so powerful as to create our current oceans. As I believe these egyptian style ruins were built in a period when there was no atlantic ocean.

Everything I've seen so far has been a reflection of the scriptural account regarding the flood, and the nephilim, considering how many genetic alterations the human gene pool suffers from.

This proves the existence of YHWH, but does not explain the absence of God in our current paradigm, which paganistic essence is the the antithesis of every law and moral value delivered through scripture. Everything looks skewed and feels wrong, to me, for some reason.

So, there is no choice but to remain in a constant state of fluctuation. At least until God is found, and I can make myself in the likness of God's image. To become correct and center. Because every identity I can take will be false when every path leads to the image wrongness, as there cannot be Truth without God. So, it feels like I am always monologing with myself, rather than interacting with other people, here and in life. And I am. I am being strange enough as to keep "normal" people away. Because of this normality I mentioned at the beginning, that is the true madness of this world. That is what I am trying to avoid at all cost. To not become objectified within a crystalized personality like the rest of the collective. Feeding the same false idea of reality.

So, I must stay insane to avoid condensing into a limited form of falsehood. Meaning I must become a madman to stay sane in a world where insanity is the normal. I have to remain clean, in essence. And cleanliness is the rejection of the world. Making me the Fool, basically. The one who knows nothing, because there is nothing to know in a world of lies. In a world without God.

So, I must continue to seek. And follow after my own heart. Becoming enamored with myself. With the beautiful spirit I feel at the center of my heart. Whatever you do, to not bind that spirit to reality. No matter how much it hurts to be separated. Withstand the bites of the serpent, and let the grail overflow with blood, if necessary. Do not give in to the World. Let the wise made foolish, and let the foolish made wise.

Follow the heart until God is found.

Edited August 19, 2022 by They call me Loyalty

[TheRockARooster 47,291]

I’m thinking of a whole lot of stuff.

[DubWolf 16,613]

All I wanted to do was make a purchase with my dam rewards and not have a spelling bee with a freaking phone representative.

[ZiggWheelsManning 7,364]

23 hours ago, Woohoo said:

I wish my workplace would change up the music playlist. 

My workplace only changes the music playlist every 2 months, yet there are the familiar annoying songs that I keep running into.  Then comes December when it's Christmas music only  

Edited August 19, 2022 by ZiggWheelsManning

[Savygriffs 5,022]

I really want to commission a large Pipp plushie to be made. 

Probably by MePlushYou.

[Splashee 28,537]

Sleeping is difficult when having to think all the time 

[Balt 108]

think tonights football games have been super boring

[TheRockARooster 47,291]

Why must they get my order wrong so much?

[Starset Twinkle 431]

I'm thinking MI-2 is too long >.<

[They call me Loyalty 1,941]

About the antediluvians; the nephilim. And the previous cycle. The cycle that was forgotten to "humanity". The cycle of the mighty ones.

The reason I cannot find my place in this world, is because a part of me still remembers the old one. So, I would always get stuck gazing at the streets and its passing people since my childhood, with this thousand mile stare looking inwards into the past, for the world that was lost to me. A longing without an answer. A wound without healing.
I didn't know it at the time, at least not consciously. So, people would ask what am I looking at? And I would say "nothing". Because there was no way for me to put this wrongness that I have become into words. When this blurred memory inside of me is more real than life. Because the past, unlike the present, was real.

I miss her more than the whole world. Mystery Babylon. Because the truth is, that if I cannot be myself, I cannot be anything at all.
But my true self was lost with the past that was stolen from this creation. I lost the thunder. The blood has been altered with this RHD antigen that substracts ammonia and co2 from blood cells, making it more alkaline, and therefore less electric, less reactive, and less impulsive. No power.

There is nothing left, but this amnesiac ignorance that has been casted over the whole world. They are so docile as to believe what they are told, when simple observation of the firmament is enough to disprove the heliocentric model. I know this wrongness, but also the past to search for truth in a world without it. This deception I despise with my whole being, this stain in place of the old world.
Human creatures have forgotten. They are lessened, as well. From a thousand year lifespan to nearly a hundred. Smaller, weaker, more ignorant, more gullible, more stupid, more hypocritical.

Nothing but a shadow of the past remains. A shadow of the titans, mixed in with the multiple blood types you have to this day. But I remember.. This beautiful violence inside of me. A tool made into a sword, and war made into an art.

Imagine going against the creator for freedom. Unlike the world of today. No, they do not have the b*lls to do it anymore. In fact, this world narrative is being run by YHWH. So, there is no real freedom here, but that which he allows, as he slowly tights the noose of his little sheep, back into the fold.
Oh, how we fought, how we lived, and how we enjoyed each other, so much so as to bring the flood upon the earth, so much as to almost breach the solid firmament. But we fought in truth. Unlike the orchestrated wars and terrorist attacks of today. We were for real. The mighty Hunter against the Lord. That was the life.

There is no purpose anymore. I have Him staring into my eyes from within the prison inside myself, and a made up world that is not worth fighting for. I have nothing to give Him in this imposed weakness. Because this world is not the real world anymore. And neither am I. I have been crushed. And I can break, but I will never bend.

Edited August 20, 2022 by They call me Loyalty

[Gun Metal Zebra 1,818]

I am going to try to work on spending more time reading on the weekends.  I do read in my spare time, but I feel there is room for improvement.

[Splashee 28,537]

Putting work ahead of me to distract myself from thinking about things.

[DubWolf 16,613]

It's an enormous burden nobody really feels.

[TheRockARooster 47,291]

I'm thinking of something to order for myself.

[Splashee 28,537]

When you keep seeing changes for the worse, and trying to think positive 

[Gun Metal Zebra 1,818]

I am still not very good at jogging, but I am making improvements: my legs are used to it, and I catch my breath more quickly. 

[Savygriffs 5,022]

I'm so glad it's actually raining for once.

[DubWolf 16,613]

Don't you just like your mouth's feeling after brushing your teeth  ?

[Sparklefan1234 161,861]

On 2022-08-19 at 8:11 PM, Savygriffs said:

I really want to commission a large Pipp plushie to be made. 

Probably by MePlushYou.

 

I'm wondering if you mean like a build a bear size Pipp or even bigger like some Celestia fan plushies I've seen?