Melted Dog

Hey, can I edit stuff to make minor changes?

I have a better reference pic for her that's full body now, and she is no longer dating anypony.

APPROVED?

-yesyesyesyesyesyes-

And... Fixed!

It is canon that a bright fkash of light appears when you get your CM though.

There is an issue with this character that while minor, is not canonically correct:

It's never been shown that cutie marks give any sort of sensation when they appear. The sentence below would have to be changed:

All night long, she felt the caffeine in her system. When the first rays of dawn shone through the window, and the rush was finally wearing off, she felt a tickling sensation on her flank.

 

Additionally her relationship with the other character, particularly with a link to the character should be in the 'other' section rather than the backstory.[/size]

Of course :DHey, when I decide to convert Lava to an EqE pony, will I have to go through another approval for Double?

Just a note here:Remember that since Lava Lamp does not belong into EqE, (s)he's not canon, therefore should not take part in any roleplays.(S)He can be mentioned in them however, of course, within tales/stories or just randomly. Sending to second approval.

Hello Peridot! Double Espresso is adorable (and reminds me of my brief stint as a barista) but there are a few little kinks that we’ll need to work out prior to acceptance.[/size]

 

• 
  Appearance - Peridot’s description doesn’t seem to quite match her image, as I do not see any peach color in her mane. It’s alright if the character’s image doesn’t quite match how she should look, but if there are differences then you should clarify that in the description
   
  
• 
  Cutie Mark - You have a “picture to be added” note in this section, but it appears that you have already added a picture
   
  
• 
  Personality - Your description of her as both untrustworthy and as somepony who hates secrets seems to contradict itself, as someone who hates keeping secrets is honest while someone who is untrustworthy is dishonest. Perhaps what you meant to say is that she does not trust others easily? That would fit with her backstory, after all.
   
  
• 
  Likes - Oreos cannot be listed as something she likes as they do not exist in the pony world, in fact I don’t think we’ve seen evidence that any mass-produced food products exist. You could change this to a different cookie if you’d like.
   
  
• 
  Dislikes - Bees do not bite, they sting
   
  
• 
  Backstory -
  
  • 
    Though the ponified “Amareica” is very cute, as we do not know if there are any states (or whatever this might be) in Equestria it would be best to just say that Double grew up in Manehattan
     
    
  • 
    The G1 reference should be removed. If you feel it is helpful, you can clarify that Fizzy is not related to the G1 pony by the same name in the “other” section, as that information would fit better there
     
    
  • 
    Where you mentioned the “Filly’s school”, did you mean foals school, or did you intend for it to be the pony equivalent of an all-girls school? If it was intended to be a filly’s school, then you might want to clarify that by saying something about the option of sending her to the regular school. I am also not sure about the idea of there being gender-specific schools, as we never see those kinds of gender divides on the show, and I’m not convinced they’d exist in this kind of society.
     
    
  • 
    It would help if we had some information on what Double is doing now. Does she have a job? A home? Or is she a traveller, looking for a place to call home? How does she get by from day to day?
     
    

• Other - I’ve heard of being sensitive to brightness, but I don’t know how eyes could be sensitive to bright colors. I would consider changing this to brightness in general.
  

Ahem..

All issues you mentioned are fixed

I like the 'Amareica' LOL

I had that in mind before S4 just to tell you

English isn't my first language. Feel free to point out any errors I have made.