After all that happened in 2014 how do I feel?
Well my year started off good, got a girlfriend and I was like this year is going to be great, at that point I didn't know it was probably going to be one of the biggest years of my life. I was struggling with school as we all do, you just can't avoid it really so I try to just relax when it comes to all that (of course I get stressed from time to time but it's natural). I felt good though because I had my amazing girlfriend so I felt great. This was until around June time, at the time me and my girlfriend had been together since February so for a good 4 months I was feeling great. I had just begun exam time at my school when my girlfriend told me she wanted to break up, I was all like this can't be happening but it was. Of course anyone who cares about someone would ask why so I asked why she wanted to break up and she responded with what I consider to be one of the worst things you can say to someone after you break up... "You don't get to know". I was like what the hell at first but of course out of the goodness of my heart I stayed friends with her for a while, all the while going through this massive depression while she was perfectly fine and then one day it hit me, this was a classic example of a light bulb moment it was just everything suddenly was in clarity, the stars aligned and I realised something I should have realised long ago... my ex was a horrible person.
Not only did she break up with me in the middle of my exams completely destroying my concentration and thus I lost the ability to study or anything, she didn't respect me enough to tell me the reason and then I thought back through our entire relationship and realised she was never particularly nice to me but I had been incredibly nice to her. So obviously I didn't really talk to her anymore and decided I should be happier with myself so I did just that. I used to be so insecure and lacking in self confidence but since that, what I like to call a journey of self discovery, I became more confident and more proud of myself, I'm still a bit shy and insecure sadly but it's to be expected I mean I am 18 years old I think anyone at my age is usually a bit insecure, it comes with the territory.
After all of this I think I came out a better person. Being more confident meant I spoke up more which lead to me telling a lot of jokes and becoming sort of a known face around my school for comedy, I always told jokes but they were never as funny or I only told them to my friends because I was so shy. I've been told by a lot of people now that I should be a comedian and if someone offered me that chance I would take them up on it immediately.
In the wake of my break-up I decided to take up a new hobby to fill my time, so I started to watch My Little Pony. No this isn't another how I became a Brony story, I became a Brony in 2012 out of curiosity and boredom no heartfelt tale. I took up Yu-Gi-Oh because I played it as a kid and had fond memories of it, so I told one of my friends to play it which he did and he liked it, so we invited our other friends to play which they did, turns out one of them used to be a Die Hard Yu-Gi-Oh fan so he hopped on the bandwagon as soon as it was mentioned. This brought us all closer together and for once in my life I felt like I had a group of friends and I loved it. We ended up playing other things like Magic the Gathering and Cardfight Vanguard, and the occasional DnD.
After the Summer had ended I of course went back to school and then things got really good. This is our final year so at the start of the school year we have a school formal which is basically prom, and there was this girl who I had a pretty big crush on and I wanted to ask her to it. Then one day the opportunity fell into my lap and I mean that in the best way, she was talking to someone I knew so I walked over and talked away then the topic of formal came up and the guy I knew asked her if she was going and she said no and that she had no one to go with. So he turned to me and said "Are you going?" and part of my brain knew were this was going but out of my mouth came "Nah, I got no one to go with". Just as I had said it I realised oh dear god and then I asked her and then I had a date.
Let me skip the prep work for the formal and skip straight to it, I thought the night was going to be a bit of fun and whatever but I didn't realise it was going to be so much of a blast. At first it was nothing too special until the awards ceremony were the students gave out awards for stupid stuff like most whipped, biggest milf, biggest dilf, etc. Then the award for best bromance was up, now me and my friend were told that we were both nominated, so my friend was pondering for a while what awards were we nominated for and I just spun around dramatically and said "What if it's not awardS, but award and we are nominated for the same one?". The nominees for best bromance came up so me and my friend, Paul, thought uh oh then we saw our names as one of them and we were like no way. Then in comedic fashion of course the winner for best bromance came up and showed a picture of the rapper Sean Paul and we were like wait a minute for a bit until we goes oh god dammit, seeing as our names are Sean and Paul they decided it would be amusing to call us Sean Paul. So we took our victory lap up to the stage and accepted our award... a Sean Paul CD. I was a bit nervous at this moment so my friend was talking first until the crowd started chanting Sean! Sean! Sean!, so I stepped up and said the first thing that could come into my head that I thought might be funny, so I quoted the immortal SeaNanners when I said "Our relationship is strictly platonic" the crowd let out a roar of laughter. I continued to give a good speech and was adored and told my speech was one of the funniest, along with another one of my friends who went up and quoted the Rocky speech from Rocky Balboa. The rest of the night was spent having my first chance to get properly drunk and party out, I ended up dancing with quite a few girls and oddly enough a few men but all in all it was a good night including when we did shots of Tequila (note: Tequila tastes like paint, burning paint).
I was feeling good, I felt on top of the world but with every rise comes a fall and this was a pretty steep drop. For the past year and a half my dad had been fighting against cancer until in early November his condition suddenly worsened and he had been diagnosed with only a few weeks left to live at most. I was ripped straight from school and went to hospital to see him, when I saw him my mum told me to talk to him. I said hi and he said hi back, I asked him how he was doing and of course, the dad he was he always looked after me he replied with "Aw I'm fine how are you?", I couldn't believe he would ask me how I was with how he was and I put on a smile and said "I'm fine too". Apparently he said more to me than anyone, everyone else only got a hi. I stayed with him the entire day holding his hand, whenever I did let go of his hand to grab a drink he woke up and looked around and saw me and told me to hold his hand. From that point on I didn't let go of his hand even when I fell asleep. I eventually was told to go to the relatives room to sleep, but was awoken whenever my dad's condition worsened again so as soon as I got back to the room I got to see my dad for a final few moments with all of my family crowded around him before he was finally gone.
It was the single saddest thing to ever happen to me because my dad was my hero and I loved him, he was the reason I decided to tell jokes because he always did and he was basically my role model growing up and I always wanted to be like him, he was my favourite person in the world. I went into quite a long depression following this even now I still feel the hurt but I kept telling myself that my dad would hate to see me sad so I decided I need to be happy for him and try and make everyday a good one. I still miss my dad but I have to power on and be the best I can be for him.
This was my year in review and with everything that happened even though I had to experience heartbreak and the death of a loved one I feel like all the self improvement I went through made this a good year. Hopefully this year is good too, I mean it started out with me winning a Funko Luna from that MCM raffle which was a good start. (What I thought when I won:
)
All the downs of 2014 gave me a sense of perspective and made the highs seem so much bigger and I feel like I became a better person because of it and that's why I feel it was the most important year of my life so far. Here's to another good year.
Oh and also I discovered the forums that was good too
- Read more...
- 0 comments
- 374 views