StaryStory

“You don't want to learn anything, let's see how it'll be when you'll need to face things alone”

That's what my mother told me yesterday, and as always, no answer from me, just silence.

I was thinking about if I had to share my thoughts on this or not.

But this time, I will, because now what I felt was something different. 

Normally, these words would only make me feel sad or hopeless. But now, they made me feel challenged, a genuine underestimation of my person from her. As much as I underappreciate myself a lot, I can not accept this. This is what I feel. A challenge was thrown at me, and I want to face it.

The choice of not answering, but just staying silent isn't simply because I don't have anything to say, but because, now, more than ever, I feel how important it is to talk less, and act more. Silence can be interpreted in many ways, and here it represents that the days of discussion between me and her came to an end, it means “Challenge Accepted”. I no longer want to talk to her about such nonsense, it always annoys me and it never leads anywhere. Now every time she'll try to push these subjects to me, I'll simply ignore, not because I'm ignorant, but because now I only want to show it, no more talk, stay silent, focus, only act, make it happen, show it happening. Her reaction later? It will be of no importance, what matters is to achieve it. 

I don't care if the many years I spent trying to learn English and Drawing, alone, with no teaching, tricks, or anything, completely by myself, or the things I still try to learn nowadays, means “Learning nothing” to her. The fact that I learned how to draw and speak in english without the help of anyone are the only two things that make me feel proud of myself, and that for me is enough to show that I can do more, and I don't have to brag myself about it, a simple action can mean more than a thousand words.

I already had “less talking and more action” in my mind before, but from now on, it'll be stronger, time for me to start taking things even more seriously.

Motivation is something that is constantly hard for me to feel, but when I feel it, the story quickly changes, and I'll now promise to myself that she'll learn to not underestimate me anymore. The less I talk and the more I act and show results, the better I'll feel with myself. Or else, I'm the failure that I constantly feel that I am. 

In such troubled times we are living, before all that chaos culminates in absolute destruction, it's best to show what I'm capable of.