Anyways. Winter break.
This year my school's winter break landed really close to Christmas itself, like only a weekend away. I decided to put my two weeks in the previous week, so it was my last weekend of working which was a relief because it was starting to encroach on my schoolwork and extracurricular activities (the manager started to schedule me on days when I volunteered at an animal place even though I wasn't available). I ended up getting sick and missing my last day, but when I felt better my boyfriend and I went to the mall. And then...he ghosted me for a few days before sending me a break-up text. Something about wanting different things in a relationship? Not really any bad blood there, but I do resent some of the ways he treated me in our time together.
When it happened, I thought I'd be sadder. I kept waiting for the tears to come...but nothing happened. I think given time I would've broken down about it, if it weren't for one thing.
I had gotten some money for Christmas, so I decided to dust off the Xbox (mostly my dad and sister who moved out used it) and see if there were any video games I'd be interested in. As I was scrolling through all the Christmas deals, I saw that the Batman:Arkham trilogy bundle was only around $6. I'm guessing because the games are a good few years old that they don't mind lowering the price a ton for the holidays. I enjoy Batman. I've watched all the cartoons, seen the movies, haven't gotten into many of the comics (lmk if you have any recommendations), Harley Quinn was my bi awakening, so I decided to give them a try even though they aren't the type of game I usually play.
Then I spent the rest of break playing the games, only stopping to celebrate New Year's, and then picking right back up. I spent almost every moment playing, only stopping to eat and shower. On the last day of break, I was getting ready for my bed when I caught my reflection in the mirror. My eyes were BLOODSHOT. BRIGHT RED. It was sooooo gross. But I didn't even care! I was having so much fun with the games, I loved the characters, the stories, the gameplay (which I was hesitant about at first), and the aesthetics. Despite this, I knew that I would have to start waking up early for school again, so I decided to play for just a little bit longer then go to bed early so I could try to fix my sleep schedule.
Midnight hit.
It felt like I was playing for just a few minutes, but suddenly it was midnight??? And I had to wake up in a little more than 5 hours???
Okay, okay, I can fix this still. If I go to bed RIGHT NOW, I'll have a bit more than 5 hours of sleep, and that's basically 6 hours, which is close to 7 hours, and that's basically 8 hours. In my deluded mind I would get 8 full hours of sleep if I went to bed past midnight and woke up at 5:30. So that's what I did.
I should explain that my dreams are very easily influenced. If I watch a movie or eat something before bed, it'll almost always show up in my dreams. If my dreams are stressful then it feels like I don't get any sleep at all. This wasn't an issue during break, because even if I had a stressful Batman dream, I could wake up and go back to sleep until noon if I wanted. But this time that wasn't an option. I kept on dreaming that I was in those stealth portions of the game, and every time I fell from a vantage point up high, I jolted awake before passing back out. When I woke up for real it felt like I had been up all night. I was sweating and literally had to take a close look at my surroundings to remind myself that I was NOT in a Batman stealth sequence.
I'm at school now, though, but my thoughts still haven't drifted from the game. If I zone out for too long, my brain starts making up stealth levels and I start doing them in my head. All I can think about is going home and playing more. Oh well. I still think it's better than crying about my ex.
Also if I said "hear me out" about Arkhamverse Riddler...
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