Inferno23

I did and sometimes I’d use my thumb lol

Sorry to keep on about it, I’ve just kept stuff in and never let it out. My subconscious is telling me that it’s over and I’m too late, what I want to draw is irrelevant. Even now it’s telling me to stop and that I’ve failed, the dream is gone. Tonight I’m gonna keep drawing while finishing season 6, thank you for letting rant, and thank you for not judging. /)

I’m finally finishing the series with my better half and I’ve been feeling a little better about my art. I just wished that life hadn’t gone so sour so I could actually enjoy my teenage years and keep up with what I enjoyed. It’s just crazy that I went from being part of a community that encouraged and inspired me to do better, to just dropping it all. What’s causing me so much grief are all the regrets of giving up.

Those are drawings I did when I was 13. This is my one and only painting

I don’t wanna hate the two who raised me, but every time I got hit by one of them it only cemented my feelings. When I have time to remember how things used to be I get sad because I lost what little bit of hope I had for my success. Maybe one day I can be big enough to make art for people and be famous for it, but for right now my hope is hanging on by a thread.

Thank you friend.. I appreciate your kindness. I just wish I had somebody to tell me that a back in 2012. Abusive parents, no social life because I was homeschooled, and broke as hell, I just wanted some type of way to get my name out there and get some recognition.

Yeah, it’s something I get really nervous about because my mother told me a long time ago that it sucked even though I’ve only ever had one art class with her that lasted for a couple days. These pieces arent pony related, but because of her indifference and my insecurities I ended up just throwing away everything and never showed my work to anyone.

Sounds like an okay idea, I just get so nervous showing my art.

Yeah, started back a couple days ago, but I’m depressed because it’s been so long that I've lost a certain rhythm that I used to have. Plus a little voice keeps telling me “what’s the point anymore? The show is done and people have moved on”. I know it’s stupid because I should draw or make art to have fun, but I just longed for recognition that I never got from anybody growing up. It’s too late

I’ve been hiding everything thats been bothering me from everyone because I wasn’t raised to express feelings or be emotional. Can’t tell ya how many times I’d been hit with a belt, fist, etc, and grew up hating where I lived. During my teenage years it only got worse because now my parents were going after each other and I got caught up in the middle of it. There are nights that I’d stay up until I passed out because I was so scared to go to sleep. When I heard about gen 4 mlp in 2011-2012 I gave it a chance and it actually turned into the only escape I could find. I Made art, an oc, and had friends, and for once I felt happy. When the fandom was at its peak I did a practice sketch one day and showed my mother and she told me that she could draw circles around me, and she didn’t know what I wanted out of her, then tossed the page back at me. I was so disappointed I threw away all my folders, and boxes of art, gave up, and now I regret it.. if whoever reads this ever has something they love to do then don’t ever listen to those who tell you that you can’t.. don’t ever give up on yourself and your talents. You have a gift and can help so many people who are stuck or feel like they have no way out.