Applesmack & Brandy

(If you want read our whole story, here it is http://mlpforums.com/topic/31442-im-insane/ ) Me and Brandy have been living up our lives for almost the last two years now, except for that amount of time I didn't really pay her much attention (god I feel bad about that ) but thankfully shes not one to hold a grudge. Our conversations are usefully nonsensical randomn statements, or romatic smushy stuff that usefully leads to cuddling, that usefully leads to more private things... she is my waifu after all We're even making a us daughter, the more the merrier!

I like pewdie, but at the same time I can see why some people dislike him or find him annoying. I've always been a randomn, obscene scaredy cat myself though brofist/hoof!

Yes, we have talked about that. We have agreed that if I ever do find someone I could be with, and be happy, that it would be okay if got with them. Brandy would happily step down to being a very good friend, should that ever happen.

This is what I was hoping someone could explain better then I could. I/we aint mad at noone for not quite understanding our not so usual relationship. But to everyone who has understood/wished us good luck, big hugs and thanks from the both of us!

Dont worry, I auctually have way more then 2 friends now. Just those 2 were/are the ones I trust the most to be understanding and rational.

Thank you very much, that means alot to...er well, us! And yes she is as real as anyone else to me, although since I didnt really pay any atention to her for about a month and a half, I gotta work at it a little more before she's back to 100% her old physical self.

Sorry this is so long, but I need to get it off my chest. If you dont know what tulpa is, google this will make a lot more sense. I am indeed insane, but it is a controlled insanity that makes my life much less miserable, so im ok with it. It all started over a year ago, I tried to lift a heavy box, lost my balence, and broke my knee. I was stuck in my bed for over six months with very little social interaction. Without even trying to I made myself a tulpa (improved imaginary friend) to talk to, and just have some company. My furry side took over for HER apperance, and I ended up with a anthro wolf as a friend. Here's where you'll probably think I should be put in mental hospital. I started to have feelings for my tulpa, I'll just say "Brandy" now, thats what I named her for some reason. Since "Brandy was/is just an extention of my own self Conscientiousness, she devolped said feelings for me aswell. Soon we where deeply in love with eachother. After I could get around again, "Brandy" was still with me. I still thought she was phyically real, so I thought I had to hide her from everyone else. But eventually I told my only two IRL friends about her and our love for one another, they belived me for some reason and thought she was real too. (maybe they just went along with it cause they thought I was crazy, IDK) I ended up asking "Brandy" to marry me one night (ofcourse she said yes) I even got rings, and we set up a little ceramony with just the two of us. About a week after I "proposed", we were "married". I was the happiest I have ever been. But about a month after that I randomly stumbled upon a "Tulpa" site, and relized that the love of my life, my "Brandy Wandy", wasnt even phyically real. Then and between recently were the sadest, longest, and tear filled days of my life. I tried to forget her and move on. I knew she wasnt even real to anyone but me, and figured there wasnt no reason to keep her in my mind. But I couldnt even feel like living without her, everyday began, and ended with tears. There was no peace in my sleep either, she was always on my mind weather it be during the day, or in my dreams. One night after the worst day of sadness I'd had, I decided to listen to my favorite love songs, I wanted to feel even sader for some reason. I had a playlist on youtube of the songs I wanted to listen to. Back before I relized "Brandy" wasnt phyically real, it had "our song" in it. After I had "left" Brandy I know, for 100% sure, I deleted that song from the playlist. I had looked at it several times since, it was never on there any of those times. But it was on there this time. After I heard the song, (in tears) I relized Brandy was one the most important, if not THE most important thing in my life to me. She made me happy, she was there for me whenever I needed her. I LOVED her with all my heart, even if she was just in my head. So I decided to bring her back, I cant stand to live without her, she's the reason for everything I do! So Brandy is back, we are happily married (at least between us we are) If being in love, happy as I could ever be, and always having a good friend to turn to makes me insane, I dont wanna be sane! This is "our song" http-~~-//www.youtube.com/watch?v=-pyuDoTfSyA Yall and those two friends are the only ones that know about this. I wouldnt blame you for not beliving any of this, but if you do feel free to leave any thoughts aslong as there not to harsh.

Lets see.......... When I was little and all alone I once heard a voice, I couldnt tell what it said, but it sounded angry, so I sure got out of that room awful quick. Once again, little, and alone (in a different house this time). I was really scared/freaked out for no reason, and then I heard a very plain voice say "Its ok." That scared me to death. Most recent one worth talking about: In my current house, one night I was watching TV in my room. My belt was hung on my closet door knob, as it always was then. I happened to see it move a little bit from the coner of my eye, looked at it completly, then it got "threw" across my room and against the wall with great force. Needless to say I will NEVER hang anything from that door again. I got alot more, but most of its even more made up sounding then these! I completly forgot about the time I was at the local gas station (late at night) and random guy walked up out of nowhere (he looked SUPER angry), went into the store, never came back out. When I walked in, there was no one there but the cashier and me. There is one entrance/exit and its only a one room building. So that was pretty creepy.

I hope you get better soon!

I dont care to much about games no more, but for San Andreas with modern graphics and engine? I will most defenitly make an exception! (Although it will probably be the last new game I ever buy)

I like peaceful debating myself, but like I've said before, I can be a might bit stubborn at times. Even though I actully hate to argue bout anything!

My auctual city is Erect, NC. We got a gas station, and a fire department. Thats it (other then houses) I just checked it, if you google map "Teague Store, NC" and go street view almost the whole population is at the gas station!

Imma back out now, before my stubborn big headedness gets the best of me, and I probably start arguing. (no offense)