Copper Loosebrain

Noticing that everyone else seemed to fit in the TIV, the Doc went back inside the SAMPHAMLAD 6000, put the extra headsets away and went into the cockpit.

There was a socket hanging down from a cable, which fit snugly over his horn.

Previously it had only been for powering the vehicle, but now it also acted as a mental-transmission user interface, essentially letting him sense the vehicles condition and control it with his magic and mind.

A strange phenomenon which had occurred more strongly and often as he used it more, was that sometimes, he could almost sense, well, whispers, too faint and garbled to actually make out as words.

He somehow wondered if the large amount of calculation crystals were somehow gaining... a...

A soul.

But that was ridiculous, after all it wasn't alive in any biological sense, and a few little evolutionary algorithms to optimise the code for maximum processing efficiency, and some mental interface software...

No, no, NO! That is just, that is just, far too...  FAR TOO FAR FETCHED!

There are surely better things to think about.

The Doc shook his head and refocused, steered the vehicle behind the TIV, then sent a comms transmission by radio.

"Rapid Tortoise this is Rag Run Over! I am ready to move and follow! Over."

There was a somewhat terse quality to his voice, as he felt slightly disturbed about the earlier... silliness.

The Doc reared up, his horn glowing brightly and sending small thunderbolts to his mane.

"To the Solar And Magic Powered Hovering Accommodation Mobile Lab And Doppler 6000 ! ! ! "

He took a deep breath, and put the cookie he'd magic-grabbed into his mouth before rushing out the door to get its' superconductor hyperefrigerators' cooled down, and its' advanced computers booted up, grabbing up a walkie talkie/ camera kit on the way.

Once he got in the vehicle he left the door opened, and started turning things on, the devices starting singing to him, in their whirrs and hums and creaks he knew so well from when they were just early prototypes, in the infancy of their development.

It was potentially deafening, so he put on one of his headsets, which to allow for all the noise, had a number of interesting features.

Their microphones would only pick up vibrations from the surface of the wearers neck, instead of just outside the mouth.

They insulated the ears from any noise other than their speakers.

They would always transmit to other devices inside the SAMPHAMLAD 6000, but could also transmit to the normal walkie talkies at the press of a button.

"Testing, testing, 1 2 3, This is Doc T Spark, crew and passengers of the Rag Run Over be advised, remember to pick up one the headsets as you enter the vehicle, as failure to comply may result in deafness, over."

He stood by the door, holding up an extra pair of his headsets.

I'll take the Sailor Moon comparison as a compliment, I may not be familiar with it, but it's generally regarded as a good show, and is well known.

Equestria has a lot of dangerous creatures in the wild, but I don't think of them as evil as such, as they cause the ponies to band together and make friends.

Discord and Sombra are like opposite evils, one does a load of crazy stuff which stops nature working consistently or regularly, the other enslaves everyone, while the harmony of Celestia gives a healthy balance of freedom to each and law for all.

If there is a kind of absolute evil, who wishes the harmony to fall but doesn't care which direction it does so in, then I suppose it might try and salvage E6 for its' ends, but it'd be slow and subtle,since they're probably tired of doing an evil figures' dirty work.

I've started on the next character profile, he's called Wholesale, was given the Element of Bribery, and looks like this:

Don't call them the Elements of Discipline. I know that discipline itself doesn't sound like fun, but it is actually a positive thing that helps us become better people. And you don't need any of those elements in order to properly and positively discipline someone.

 

I would call them the Elements of Tyranny or the Elements of Authoritarianism instead. Something that has a bit of a more negative connotation.

 

Other than that, I am a fan of the idea. I don't read fanfiction because I think that most of it uses too much of someone else's headcanon that I can't bring myself to believe, but I think that something like this would be readable for me. Let me know when you've got the first chapter written~

 

Elements of Discipline, as a name, is kind of a relic of very early thoughts when I was thinking of some kind of foil to harmony.

I should definitely change the name, Tyranny sounds good, or you know, suitably bad.

And yeah, I am throwing in quite a bit of headcanon, firstly, between the Crystal Empires' disappearance and reappearance, time only passed in Equestria, not the Empire.

I'll also be assuming, among other things, that during S3 E2 Shadow Sombre was destroyed, not just banished or bound.

Why does this idea sound so fantastic you're interested? I'm curious to know so that I can work to the concepts' strengths.

I'm quite a while away from starting the first chapter, as I'm busy trying to flesh out the main characters as individuals rather than a group at the moment.

"Wonderful! As Cloud Puff says, the more the merrier! It's not like I can fly."

He had tested that last theory rather thoroughly, rockets and aerodynamics weren't really his forte, so the best he'd ever managed was getting blasted through the air temporarily, followed by an improvised, and rather painful event which while technically being a landing, would be more accurately described as a crash.

The Dr went over to the door, opened it, and looked at the colt outside, young adult, lanky like him.

"Hello young gentlecolt! have you come to chase a tornado?"

As the Doc stepped aside for Cloudpuff, he noticed the distinct bareness of the red colts' flank, and tilting his head for a better look, staring in disbelief, wondered why he hadn't discovered his talents yet, and what they could be.

He supposed something very wrong had gone with this young colts' life, to be blank flanked at such an age.

You are doing great. These are nice ponies. Keep writing, and keep having fun doing it!

 

(Twilight is best pony.... The forum almost constantly needs reminding.)

 

Thanks for the support, I'll start making the rest of the protagonists, and make a new thread if I get stuck for ideas.

I'm still not sure about the exact starting time, places, or situation, but I'll watch the first two episodes of Season 3 and have a think about it at the same time.

The Doc Opened the door and looked at the colt outside.

Young adult, tall and skinny unicorn like thee Doc himself, but red with an orange mane and tail, and green eyes.

"Well good morning young gentle colt ! Are you coming to chase a tornado?"

As he stepped to the side to let Cloud Puff see past him, he noticed a distinctly bare flank, and tilted his head a little, staring in disbelief.

What could he be capable of?

"Have you ever chased a storm before?"

I approve of this idea... but I need to talk more to say that.

Hmm... needs more backstory. Who are the elements of disipline? How will they react when they find out that their king has been destroyed/imprisioned/locked out?

 

Just some food for thought.

 

I really haven't worked out exactly who they are, or how they got their positions, but I expect the Elements of Disicpline themselves would be magical slave collars made by the King himself, as it'd be a bit difficult commanding all of his Crystal Slaves without some lieutenants or trouble shooters.

I think whoever was given the collar of The Drive was ambitious and planning a coup, not for freedom, but to take the kingdom for himself, using lots of revolutionary meatshields.

Whoever got the collar of Bribery was a glutton, he'd steal from the stores, then when he stole more than he could eat, he'd "sell" it for favours.

The collars functions included allowing Sombre to contact them, monitor them (see what they see, detect location etc.), and put them in excruciating pain at any given time, or even kill them.

They would also stop them from dying or even going unconscious without Sombres' say so.

"I'm not done with you, you don't get to die! you don't get to go into shock from that slice through your flank! your body is my body! your injury is your failure to me! Your pain is your punishment! "

Thus he could make use of such enterprising individuals, while keeping them secure, and punishing them by:

A: Isolating them from the general population.

B: Forcing them to learn about authority grim-dark Trollestia style ( I am SOMBRE ! My Authority is MAGIC ! )

C: Working them harder and on more dangerous tasks.

Finding out their king is gone is wonderful news for them, but their authority is gone too, they're afraid that if they get caught in the Crystal Kingdom they'll get lynched, so they have to work out how to get to mainland Equestria.

This requires supplies that they'll have to rob or steal...

Okay, I've done a quick character profile for one of the Elite Six.

Yes I know Elite Six is pretentious, but it's supposed to be, they took that name to make bossing people around easier, and don't actually like it.

Sunrise Charge

Appearance, Species, Gender: Male, Unicorn, see attached picture.

Pony Code:

223E2501009E00009E2F2F12000FE7B00UG1837502010001V1000000FEFFFF0411990000CFCFCE

Cutie mark: A white, five pointed star on a black shield.

Magic Light: The light from his magic is rather strange in that it appears to have a distinctly different hue depending on how bright it is, anywhere from yellow to red.

Element: The Drive

Background: Was one of Sombres’ ruthless enforcers even before the element was put on him, but he was ambitious, he tried to start a coup against Sombre, but was captured.

Skills: As a military officer he was especially good at commanding dynamic, flanking strikes at enemy weak points, and at managing teleporting troops, he can teleport himself, and he can move objects by magic very quickly, if not very accurately or hard.

Weapons: Of the elite six SC is the most heavily armed, with two throwing knives on one flank and a short sword on the other, all are dark, almost black, and have simple, geometric designs with no curves.

Personality: Often ruthless, but not actually sadistic.

Quiet, but not actually shy, just thinking a lot.

He tends to be quite serious and often keeps emotions bottled up.

*snip*

 

The Dr heard someone at the door, come to ask about the chasing.

He looked over to it, the handle and his horn started glowing white, with the occasional spark popping of with a clicK.

"May I ?" he asked Cloud Puff.

She might want to go over and see him before he comes in.

I got an awesome fan fic idea, but could do with help fleshing it out...

So, let's say, that, when Sombre was in power over the Crystal Kingdom, he had a team of six elite Crystal Colt lackeys, who wielded...

The Elements of Discipline

The Spark: The Drive

The will to make every pony do what you want no matter what you have to do to them.

Generosity: Bribery

Finding out what ponies want, taking it, using it to drive them.

Honesty : Manipulation

The use of carefully dripped information and misinformation, propaganda, political spin.

Laughter : Criticism

Sometimes you've just got to skip the fancy words and tact, be forthright, and hammer your will into a ponies' brain with a good, simple shout about everything they're doing wrong.

Kindness: Punishment

In order to keep 'em in line, you gotta keep 'em scared, make examples of those who fail you, disobey you, lie to you and so forth.

Loyalty : Supervision

This means making sure you know exactly what ponies are up to, what they have, and what you need to do to them.

The Elite Six appeared along with the Crystal Kingdom, but due to temporarily being trapped or lost or having amnesia or something, weren't of any help to Sombre.

So their king gets sealed away, but they don't, so what do they do?

Do they try to unseal their king? He wasn't exactly a very good boss, but what if someone else does it and he tries to find them?

Do they try to make contact with other ponies? would they get recognised and get in trouble?

I don't know, all I know is that they are six crystal colts, each with an element of discipline, together on the outskirts of the revived Crystal Kingdom, with no pony to trust except each other.

And even that trust is pretty dubious...

SO I NEED FEEDBACK EVERYPONY !

Character profiles, ideas, approval and disapproval, constructive criticism, writing tips, the exact place(s) the Elite Six start in, come one, come all, let's get this party started !

Always happy to have something to explain, the Doc perked up again

"Well, Equestrias' magnetic field makes compasses point north and keeps away harmful charged particles from the sun, and by cooling certain materials enough, one can make them superconductive to expel the field from their centres, so that it forces them up and away from the molten iron alloys deep below the earth.

So you see it isn't like flying with wings at all, it's a bit more like surfing really, I suppose it gives whoever stirs the mantle alloys a little extra work to do, but she doesn't seem to mind."

Observing the arrivers carefully, the Dr was sure he'd seen them before...

"And I am the ingenious, prolific, Dr Tinkerspark, but you can call me Dr, researcher and inventor of the wonderful, ahem, thing, outside, known as..."

Nearly took our heads off on our way here!

He stopped, embarrassed, his mane visibly de-fluffed a little, and he reeled back a step.

"Oh..."

"I'm very sorry about running over you, the reverse acceleration modules were somewhat less effective than I calculated, but I assure you I shall be perfectly capable of compensating for the difference now that I have learned of it."

"Certainly dear!" He trotted in, "Have you checked with the weather team where the next tornado will be started? what route it will take to the rain-cloud factory?"

He briefly wondered if anyone else was more punctual than him, How silly of me, I'm a pony of preparation, decisiveness, action! of course I'm here first!

Cloud Puffs' goofy and youthful excited state was somewhat infectious, he felt his hair fluff up a little more and slightly stick to the wall

He was used to that though, strange ponies had strange phenomena.

After knocking the Dr waited a while, but there didn't seem to be any response, the ride there hadn't gone as well as expected, he would have to re-check his calculations on reversing acceleration...

Still, at least he'd managed to avoid running some pony over by quicly diverting power from the posterior plate to the anterior one and then vice versa, the effect had been a bit like jumping a fence.

He looked at the iron door knocker again, a little frustrated, he gave it another quick knock and listened carefully for its' pitch...

Closing his eyes and concentrating, he magicked the swinging part into vibrating, first at low frequency, then higher until it could just be heard as a dark baritone, then higher until until it matched the pitch of the testing knock.

Thus he matched the natural frequency of the door knocker, causing a rather interesting phenomenon called resonance.

This meant the striking plate started to hum along with striker, and in turn vibrated the whole door in its' hinges, the sound was similar to thunder or a pneumatic drll or a sawblade, and very loud, almost deafening where he stood, if you looked carefully at the hinges of the knocker you could just about see the friction make it slightly glow.

Okay, so presumably she controls the moon, just like Celestia makes the sun rise and set.

Does this mean she controls the tide?

And what about other aspects of the night, like stars and dreams?

Could dream control allow her to help someone take a quest to find something in their hearts via their head while they sleep?

I'd really like to see more dialogue between her and her sister, I just love exposition on the setting, like the Founding of Equestria episode.

Dr Tinkerspark, busily writing letters to gather the other chasers for a briefing on current tornado predictions and the routes to take, saw a quick swishing movement by his door, and looking over, saw a letter sliding to a stop.

Is it really to much effort to use the letter flap?

Underneath said letter flap, mounted on the door, was a device with a net for catching letters, an arrangement of springs cogs and variable resistors for a force sensor, a mess of intricately enchanted, carefully programmed silicon calculation crystals and wires, some rechargeable batteries, and an electromagnet bell.

He needed to make sure all letters were read before he left for pursuit of severe weather season, so he put the ones' he was writing down and read the recently arrived one.

"Are you guys ready to start chasing?" the letter read, Ready? Ready? I was ready yesterday of course! Cheeky filly!

He read the rest, She has some initiative though, maybe she'll grow to be as remarkable as me, well, almost.

He binned the letter and envelope, as well as the parchment he'd now wasted, and headed out to the SAMPHAMLAD.

It was, in some respects, similar to an RV, but it had no wheel arches or wheels, instead it sat on a pair of wide, plate like structures used to hover on the lands' magnetic field.

It also happened to have solar panels, a radio antennae, a lightning rod, and a weather station on top, and a parabolic dish on a large extension of the back, supported by its' own, smaller hover-plate.

He drove it to Cloud-Puffs' home, turning many heads, then got out and knocked on her door.

I'm not too sure if it would be OP... I'm just hoping I can rip off TIV from the actual American show! XD

 

By all means, go ahead though! *epiphany time* oh my gosh, you're vehicle could be like the DOW!!!!!!! OMG!!!!!

 

let me just look that up...

Okay, I could make it like a DOW by by having an extension on the back with a great big radar dish, let me just look Doppler weather radar up...

"Weather radars send directional pulses of microwave radiation, on the order of a microsecond long, using a cavity magnetron or klystron tube connected by a waveguide to a parabolic antenna."

Yes, yes yes, I am definitely making the Solar And Magic Powered Hovering Accommodation Mobile Lab And Doppler 6000, or

SAMPHAMLAD 6000 like the DOW.

Okay, I've now made a character, check him out!

http://mlpforums.com/page/roleplay-characters/_/dr-tinkerspark-r1942

Couple of minor changes from the initial concept, namely the rubber soled boots, and I've decided to make him a bit more experienced, so now he's 31.

I know he's quite a bit older than the other characters, and suspect he'll accidentally patronise them, because they simply can't comprehend let alone handle his fantastic ingenuity, and magnetic charisma, but really should put up with it because they have lots to learn and maybe some of him will brush off on them, and get some extra current running through those growing noggins of theirs.

I'm in the GMT time zone, so I only hope I won't fall behind too much.

Also would it be OP to have a self-invented campervan/mobile lab with solar panels on top and electromagnetic hoverplates on the chassis? It'd be largely powered by the use of unicorn magic to generate current, so it'd be clean, and it'd only work with Dr Tinkerspark there to power it.

Sounds awesome, I've started making an original character for it.

Pony Code:

3J3B0B3100FEEE00FEF6F0000000004FEUN1837000220100Q1150F70BFBFBF0O107F3FCC004CB2

Accessory Code

066CC662000000066CC66066CC66066CC6604E8FBAFFFF8C066CC66066CC66066CC66066CC66

I'll see about making an actual profile instead of a ponymaker design when I'm not going to go to see Skyfall in 10 minutes.

But yeah, about 27, expert in metearology, physics, and inventing, loves a bit of excitement, is young at heart and doesn't mind the youngens especially if they'll carry sensors and recording equipment.

Will think of name, cutie mark, and all the important details later.

What do you mean, we can have up to 2 psychic powers?

Is that normal for people who get invited to The Academy?

Is it like an academy of Unicorn Magic? Or are there Earthy and Pegasus students?

I'd like to suggest some event affecting just about everypony in equestria, with the dilemma being adapting to its' aftermath.

Maybe it could be set just at the beginning of spring, and the meteorologist ponies discover that for some reason, the next winter will have to be four times longer than usual.

Winter is coming...

Something big and friendly to people new to this forum? Where I can make my own OC? That sounds great!

With something that large, it might be a tad difficult to keep track of everypony though.

http://mlpforums.com/page/roleplay-characters/_/brushglide-r1932

I reckon he might be a bit of a mary sue, somewhat lacking in flaws, also he might be a bit too much like Fluttershy to be original, what with the only flaw being a lack of assertiveness.

So, any suggestions for improvement? Likely flaws for him to have? Is the name or backstory too exotic?

This sounds awesome, I'll start making a profile.

My general concept is a pegasus, about 20, who has trouble flying long distances and generating lift or thrust, but is very good at using his wings to improve his speed, balance, and leaping.

He'd be curious and somewhat nosy, with a love of exploring, with a love of drawing landscapes and buildings from interesting vantage points.