Despair

By PonyOfDespair

• June 3, 2017




Age: 27

Gender: Male

Species: Pegasus

Appearance: <p> Despair is a small statured stallion that is only physically about the size of a young mare and at times can appear androgynous or more feminine. He is very thin and has little physical capability. His wings are normal sized but often hanging limp at his sides when not folded at rest. In edition his wings are weak and can't be used to fly for long. His coat and wings are a soft almost sky blue with the only inconsistencies being where small almost unnoticeable scars break the flow. His mane and tail are a midnight blue or a dark sapphire color depending on his mood, the latter being more vivid in hue than the former. His tail is very silken in appearance and nearly touches the ground  when held normally but drags when it's drooping. His mane lays in small gentle waves along his neck and ends at his back. His bangs are longer on the left and shorter on the right, with the right curling slightly and ending just above his jaw and the left more often than not laying over his eye and reaching just a few inches under his muzzle with one thick strip sweeping from right to left between his eyes. His eyes are large and are completely black, with the reflection of light on them usually marking the direction he's looking in. His cutie mark is a red heart broken down the middle ( 💔  ).  </p> <p>   </p> <p><a href="<fileStore.core_Attachment>/monthly_2017_09/IMG_4764.JPG.2b9119a6a5d9c44f360838192e908ff3.JPG" class="ipsAttachLink ipsAttachLink_image"><img data-fileid="227599" src="<fileStore.core_Attachment>/monthly_2017_09/IMG_4764.thumb.JPG.d83e956a0834fdf7f4df9347844bffd0.JPG" class="ipsImage ipsImage_thumbnailed" alt="IMG_4764.JPG"></a></p>

Cutie Mark: <p> His cutie mark is a red heart broken down the middle ( 💔  ). His talent is that he is an empath that resonates with the emotions of ponies around him, and through this he can say and do what it is they need to lift their spirits and help them find happiness. Likewise however, he can just as easily say in the most gentle and soothing tone something that could break the heart of somepony who is cheerful and bright. He understands pain and sorrow and knows instinctively what to do to manipulate emotions to his desire. His cutie mark either symbolizes that he will mend somepony's heart, or shatter it.  </p>

Personality: <p> Despair is a kind and gentle pony who wants nothing more than to be helpful to other ponies and make them happy, as it makes him happy and keeps him from reversing into his existence of solitude and depression. Often he is a ray of sunshine to those around him and others feel good just being near him due to his immense innocence in behavior and appearance.  </p> <p> He is also a natural genius, though he doesn't recognize it. He has a great ability to retain information and a natural curiosity that brings him to books and programs that quench his thirst for knowledge. Often he will make remarks well above the average pony's comprehension and look confused when nopony understands him. He thinks things are general knowledge and has to be told when they aren't. In particular, he is fascinated by biology and chemistry, mostly in regards to medical needs. He has an interest in magic but no real knack for it unless it's a potion to be made or object to be utilized. </p> <p> He never raises his voice to anypony or expresses anger because he is very timid and scared of disappointing others. At heart he is a pony pleaser and tries to do anything he can to make everypony happy and avoid conflict. He hates hurting other's feelings and often doesn't recognize his effect on others. He tries, but sometimes when ponies seem aggressive or unreasonable he is too honest with them and can actually break their spirits with his truths, causing him to be hard on himself for it later. It's also a fault of his that he often sugar coats things to spare ponies feelings.  </p> <p> He hates it when ponies shout negatively or hurt others and often will cower if he feels like it could turn on him because of the way his father did his mother.  </p> <p> He is working on himself however, and uses his father's possessions to help others and refuses to be rid of them to build himself up. He also delves into issues sensitive or controversial to himself if it helps somepony else and he will ignore his own needs for the sake of others. He has been working towards being healthier ( putting on weight to reach a healthy one, exercising his wings so they will be stronger, being more active and trotting ).  </p> <p> He's rather innocent when it comes to general interactions. He blushes a lot and crosses his hooves a lot, especially if he receives praise or a compliment. He's rather sweet and sometimes his behavior is feminine, which is another thing that gets him mistaken for a mare. He likes humor but usually keeps laughter soft and unobnoxious, just soft spoken overall. Dirty commentary would probably go right over his head if he didn't blush first and avoid eye contact. </p> <p> Though not too extroverted, he isn't afraid of being friendly with new people and physical contact, so long as it's permitted, is actually really comforting to him. </p>

Backstory: <p> Despair's mother was a kind pegasus with a love for love, and fell easily for his father who, despite the fact that she was unaware of it, was a changeling disguised as a unicorn. H<span>e was known as an eccentric loner of Canterlot who collected enchanted and magical objects for an unknown reason that not even Despair ever learned of. Unaware of it, his mother was lured into a trap and had entered an abusive relationship where he controlled every aspect of her life, regulating who she talked to, where she went, and what mail she received in order to secure her as his own personal food source. Despair was an unexpected baby since his father had never heard of a changeling having a baby with a pony, and his mother questioned why he had solid black eyes but loved him anyway. She had no idea that it was simply a result of his father's genes making them like that. </span> </p> <p> <span>Over time his father took notice of some things. His son looked like a pony apart from his eyes, he appeared androgynous and suspected that was because changelings often took on the appearance of both genders and he could not change his appearance like an actual changeling could. He also took note of the close relationship between Despair and his mother though. Of course a mother loved her child and he had been isolating them from others so it made sense that they were close, but Despair seemed unusually attached and his mother overly affectionate. It was then that he realized that Despair had done that himself purposely in his innocence and was feeding off the love of his mother as he was. And that was fine since he could feed off it as well, until he felt a change and Despair tried giving him more attention and he realized he was also trying to invoke love from him for he himself to feed on. It was at that point that he began neglecting his son heavily and subjecting him to the same treatment he had been giving his wife, both she and Despair prisoners in their own home with his father the warden. Despair was deprived of physical food often and was forbidden from flying when he became able, which angered his mother heavily. Despite it being irrational she still loved him, but did everything to make sure Despair prospered. She snuck out to buy books to read to her son to keep him occupied and he excitedly listened. However this made his father take an extreme measure to keep his mother from leaving his sight, as well as him, forever: he shattered every bone in her wings and left her to heal without care, so that even after they eventually healed, she would never be able to fly ever again. She tried to be strong for her son but her wings hadn't been the only thing to be crushed... Eventually she would feel so hopeless and be in so much pain that she would take her own life. His father covered up the incident well and knew it wouldn't be safe to feed in the city for a long time until the attention caused by her death died down. He considered leaving with Despair since it was obvious the colt could obviously easily invoke love in others, but it wasn't worth it in his mind to risk him growing to turn on him or use him as his own source of food unintentionally.  Despair was abandoned, too weak to fly and barely able to move on his own. The colt was distraught and all alone with no one to care for him. The level of sheer sorrow he reached was heartbreaking, and his physical appearance was pitiful. He barely was able to move to feed himself and he would sleep for days to avoid being conscious of his situation. </span> </p> <p> <span>That only changed when another young foal happened upon the yard and appeared immensely sad himself. Despair was overcome with a sensation of connection he hadn't felt since he was young and his mother was alive. He was filled with sympathy and offered an ear to the saddened pony. For hours he merely listened without realizing the impact it would make, until the pony's sadness faded and was replaced with joy. The warmth it gave Despair caused his cutie mark to appear and give him a revelation: his talent lied in helping others overcome their sadness. With this realization he pushed himself and was able to get himself into healthier habits that allowed him to move and eventually walk without difficulty, going on to be schooled, dedicated to becoming a mental health specialist. He graduated and opened his own clinic in his very home, inviting ponies to talk and get things off their chests, seek an opinion on how to handle their own obstacles in life and receive reassurance, as well as receive potions and medicine for more chemical and physical grievances that he made for them specially. In edition, he is also in charge of passing judgment on a pony to determine their capability of performing under the stress of their jobs. </span> </p>