[Advice needed] Symphony of Steel

[yisetab28 89]

So, I've been writing my fic for a few weeks, but I've seem to have come to an impasse because of the lack of constructive criticism. So, would any critics out there be willing to help me with it? I would like to know if you like the story, if it's too fast paced, literally anything to help me make it better. Really, any kind of criticism would be really appreciated.

 

(Story link:http://www.fimfiction.net/story/256918/symphony-of-steel)