Crusader 0 January 19, 2016 Share January 19, 2016 A song of mine that made it on EQD's front page Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Courageous Thunder Dash 7,824 January 19, 2016 Share January 19, 2016 Okay. I like the use of the clips from the episode. However, the lyrics are too explicit, meaning that they tell too much and that unfortunately...makes your song cheesy. See, the hardest themes to write about are action sequences, because it's hard to show what is going on, rather than explicitly tell exactly what's going on. For instance, in the part where you described the Mane-iac's defeat, you described it like it actually happened in the episode, which sadly bothers me. This is why I said earlier that it is very difficult to write songs about superheroes and themes of the sort, becuse as always, the hero saves the day, and that line seems to appear in almost every song about a superhero. In terms of the actual song, you need to speed it up. It doesn't have that superhero feel. It sounds more like a laid back song. Speed it up to about 160bpm. You have it at that 120bpm drive that doesn't add to the character of the song. Good key choice though, B major fits perfectly. But why not a modulation to C# major in the last verse? Also, your chords were somewhat limited. You only put the I, IV and V in the interludes between verses, and stuck to the I and V in the verses. I see you did do a vi-IV-I-V in the part talking about the name of the heroes. Still, this isn't enough. Here are some suggestions I-IV-vi-V I-vi-IV-V I-iii-ii-V I-iii-IV-V There are many other choices you can do. All in all, it's an okay piece, but it could use a lot of work, especially the lyrics. Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCeWg-TtBRMfqketa1ELyKGg Soundcloud: https://soundcloud.com/menelik-david-kenneth-cannady 2nd SoundCloud: https://soundcloud.com/thunder-dash-alternative/tracks Pony.fm: https://pony.fm/thunder-dash Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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