Unmarked (Fan Fiction)

[Croswynd 0]

Morning, evening, and good night, everyone who's dared to enter the mysteriously named thread I've made here. I'll get right down to business, as I am sure most of you aren't interested in my late night ramblings.

 

Unmarked is my second pony fic, as well as my second novel-sized fan fiction in general. It has been featured on EqD, where it earned the 5-star rating and is in good standing over on FimFiction.net, too. However, I have encountered a problem which I believe may stem from the beginning, my presentation, or perhaps something completely different.

 

So I've come here in order to rectifity that. There's not a need to read the entire story unless you'd like to, because I am mostly interested in how to change the Prologue, Chapter 1, and perhaps even Chapter 2 to make it more appealing to new audiences. Adding to that, I'd also like to know what you think of the admittedly dry synopsis I've attached to the story.

 

Now, without further ado, here is the cover page:

 

As you can no doubt see, it's rather...large and I apologize for that. However, what's your opinion on it?

 

Moving on to the synopsis: Purpose. In Equestria, where purpose is defined by the mark on your flank, it is often taken for granted. Yet Novell has grown to adulthood without a single explanation of where he fits in. It’s not until a chance meeting with a particular Professor that he gets the opportunity to explore the world and find out exactly where he belongs. Of course, adventuring has a host of its own problems, as this blank flank is about to find out!

 

Opinions?

 

Finally, the links to the actual story, both on EqD: http://www.equestria...y-unmarked.html

 

and FimFiction.net: http://www.fimfictio...y/5108/Unmarked

 

Once again, I do not expect you to read the entire story. I simply want feedback on the prologue, first two chapters, and synopsis. That said, feel free to keep reading if you like what you see.

 

I'm not sure if I'm in the right posting this as my first post on the forum, but I did not see it listed anywhere in the rules not to, so I apologize if I've done something wrong and will understand if it's taken down.

 

Thanks for reading this far,

 

- Croswynd