ComanderZhabikKlavik 4,070 May 25 Share May 25 (edited) Ginseng Oolong Tea. I drink tea and listen to music Spoiler Spoiler This music and picture perfectly convey my emotional state. On Tuesday there will be a term paper due at the technical school, I need to have time to make a presentation in Powerpoint for it and a title page. I could have done it today, but I'm tired. Tomorrow at work I need to ask my colleagues something, but because of my shyness it is hard for me to ask anything, of course it was even harder before, now it is easier, but it is still hard for me. I have not been in a very good mood all day today because of this. All this is putting pressure on me. I need to have time to do a lot tomorrow, but I don't like that I can't do the main thing tomorrow - programming. Programming is the only way for me to a bright future, if I don't learn to program, then I will work in a factory all my life, and I hate the factory and all professions that are related to production. I don't want to go to this damned job and make a presentation for a term paper at the technical school, because I know that it is useless for me. I don’t like the fact that I’ve wasted so much time on all this and will still lose it, although I could have started studying to be a programmer earlier, but unfortunately I didn’t know then that I would like this professionNow I have to go through hell to achieve my goal. The main thing when you go through hell is not to stop I decided to do a workout not long ago and I felt much better. If I always had the same state as during a workout, my life would become much better Since I'm tired, you'll think that I need a rest, but my rest always turns into procrastination for several weeks, I won't let this happen anymore! So I won't rest, I rested today. I walked in the forest today and I think that's enough for me Spoiler I have too little time and too many tasks and goals that I need to accomplish I recently bought a fountain pen and I love it so much! I will never go back to other pens, I will write with a fountain pen Spoiler Edited May 25 by ComanderZhabikKlavik 1 3 T-90 tank Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Acinonyx 875 May 25 Share May 25 32 minutes ago, ComanderZhabikKlavik said: Ginseng Oolong Tea. I drink tea and listen to music Reveal hidden contents Reveal hidden contents This music and picture perfectly convey my emotional state. On Tuesday there will be a term paper due at the technical school, I need to have time to make a presentation in Powerpoint for it and a title page. I could have done it today, but I'm tired. Tomorrow at work I need to ask my colleagues something, but because of my shyness it is hard for me to ask anything, of course it was even harder before, now it is easier, but it is still hard for me. I have not been in a very good mood all day today because of this. All this is putting pressure on me. I need to have time to do a lot tomorrow, but I don't like that I can't do the main thing tomorrow - programming. Programming is the only way for me to a bright future, if I don't learn to program, then I will work in a factory all my life, and I hate the factory and all professions that are related to production. I don't want to go to this damned job and make a presentation for a term paper at the technical school, because I know that it is useless for me. I don’t like the fact that I’ve wasted so much time on all this and will still lose it, although I could have started studying to be a programmer earlier, but unfortunately I didn’t know then that I would like this professionNow I have to go through hell to achieve my goal. The main thing when you go through hell is not to stop I decided to do a workout not long ago and I felt much better. If I always had the same state as during a workout, my life would become much better Since I'm tired, you'll think that I need a rest, but my rest always turns into procrastination for several weeks, I won't let this happen anymore! So I won't rest, I rested today. I walked in the forest today and I think that's enough for me Reveal hidden contents I have too little time and too many tasks and goals that I need to accomplish I recently bought a fountain pen and I love it so much! I will never go back to other pens, I will write with a fountain pen Reveal hidden contents Thank you for linking that piece of music, I think I've found what I'll be playing on the night shift tonight. Your fountain pen reminds me I bought a new notebook a few months back and I had been intending to get a fountain pen or feather quill to use in it. (Dramatic, I know.) It sounds like you've got an intense path before you my friend, remain steadfast and with conviction on your goals and you will achieve victory. Do allow yourself to take some time for rest though for your mind to recharge and avoid burnout, programming sounds very intensive for the brain and it's imperative to give it a moment to rest as well, just find that amount of rest that feels right for you. Godspeed, Commander. 1 1 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Midnight Insight 303 May 25 Share May 25 I'm happy you decided to still be with us on Tea Talks @ComanderZhabikKlavik That pressure must be hard to deal with, and mental can struggle, but look at the bright side: you know where you want to be and where you don't want to be, which is hard to know most of the time. And you're also getting better dealing with your shyness (you made me feel like I'm not alone in that). As @Acinonyx said, I think the same: 32 minutes ago, Acinonyx said: remain steadfast and with conviction on your goals and you will achieve victory. Do allow yourself to take some time for rest though for your mind to recharge and avoid burnout And nice fountain pen, by the way, now I want one like yours for my diary. I wish you both great success in your projects. Stay strong! I'm pretty sure my mik with yogurt can be considered tea. 1 1 1 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Raskolnikov 861 May 25 Share May 25 I can only echo what the others have said @ComanderZhabikKlavik, I find your willpower and ability to go against family pressure admirable. You mentioned losing a family member so your ability to be productive might be affected - that is fine and it's human to take a rest if need be. You sound like a chad, I need a gym membership Same cardamom tea as Acinonyx, took photo on my bedside table as it would feel weird taking a photo on their desk as it doesn't feel like *my* space - I usually listen to music and browse or read in bed when I drink my tea so it made more sense. I'm about to put on the album Crimson by Edge of Sanity, I liked it before but haven't given it enough attention to make my mind up and I suppose I'm in the mood. I put it on earlier too but I think I prefer complete solitude and silence for this kinda thing. I'm about to send Bairro from this forum a PM about how me and Acinonyx met, it always feels daunting when people ask as it's a very long story and you miss out a lot of details with just a summary. Which is why I'm on Acinonyx's desk as my laptop broke a while back and it can be frustrating typing long messages on mobile. I don't really like to reflect these days so I'll probably not post here much on that regard unless something interesting has happened. I just figured I may post to respond to Zhabik's post and add this. I struggle with shyness too but not as much these days, counselling has made me be more accepting of it and I realised I'm an introvert outside of my shyness... but I would still like to connect with people more, I feel more and more on a different planet each day and trying to put myself out there more exasperates the feeling rather than lessens it. I don't think there's a solution anymore really, it is what it is. In any case, hoping to get a teapot to finally get into loose leaf brewing - I have been meaning to get into it for ages but our old teapot broke when I was washing it in the sink a couple years ago would love to try tea mixes! And to mess with brewing temperatures. I feel like I don't even know what proper tea is yet. I should probably stop procrastinating and get to that PM. 1 1 "None are more hopelessly enslaved than those who falsely believe they are free." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Crypty Scribbles 5,898 May 26 Author Share May 26 Nothing special. I'm just happy this topic is alive and even attracting more ponies ^•^ Have a nice morning/evening you ^e^ 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Silent Dusk 429 May 27 Share May 27 Things have been hard lately, and my usual routine to make the feeling less painful hasn’t been working for some reason. Anyway, here’s the tea, Cinnamon Stick tea with a spoonful of honey 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ComanderZhabikKlavik 4,070 May 28 Share May 28 (edited) Tea with hibiscus, rose hips, raspberries and apple. Thank you for your support @Acinonyx, @Midnight Insight, @Raskolnikov, I always appreciate it! Thank you also for creating the Tea Talks thread @Crypty Scribbles! I'm also glad that this topic attracted so many new ponies On 2025-05-26 at 12:06 AM, Midnight Insight said: And nice fountain pen, by the way, now I want one like yours for my diary. This is a Parker Vector XL F21 fountain pen. On 2025-05-26 at 12:06 AM, Midnight Insight said: (you made me feel like I'm not alone in that). I'm glad you don't feel alone in this now. Dealing with shyness is hard and some of us need to feel like we're not alone in our problem, there are other people with the same problem as you who could support us in difficult times Thanks to you all, I probably felt for the first time in my life what support is, before that I could say I managed without it. Although I think that self-development videos can be called support, I always supported myself and sometimes such videos too Yesterday I noticed that my self-discipline was weakening a little, so today at work I listened to a podcast with David Goggins. I always admire this guy, I think he is the toughest man on this planet. Thanks to listening to these podcasts, laziness was destroyed. Tomorrow I will listen to his podcasts and some videos. Maybe I should reread his book Can't Hurt Me? This will be the third time, probably better later. I am sure that I will reread this book and his other book Never Finished dozens of times. These two books are the best books I have read in my life I continue my Great Crusade against factories and other industrial heresies. I bring the light of Holy Programming and burn heresy with its sacred code. Spoiler Space Marine of the Legion of the Damned Spoiler Check out this funny video I found recently VID_20250527_183136_203.mp4 Edited May 29 by ComanderZhabikKlavik I confused the Black Crusade with the Great Crusade 4 T-90 tank Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ComanderZhabikKlavik 4,070 June 1 Share June 1 Pine cone tea I went for a walk in the forest, picked some pine cones and made tea from them. Spoiler I'm thinking about what wallpaper I should set on my phone. I used to have John Wick wallpapers, but then I decided to change them. Now I want to change the wallpapers again, but I don't know which ones to choose. Maybe I should change them all the time? I'll probably do that. Maybe I'll bring back the John Wick wallpaper again I have nothing else interesting, I don't know what else to write here : Г 2 1 T-90 tank Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Raskolnikov 861 June 1 Share June 1 (edited) Tonight I'll be posting a different kind of drink - I'm having kawa zbożoba, a drink made of roasted grains meant to be similar to coffee (no caffeine in this one). This one has some chocolate flavouring in as well Posting to respond to this On 2025-05-28 at 10:11 PM, ComanderZhabikKlavik said: Thanks to you all, I probably felt for the first time in my life what support is, before that I could say I managed without it. Although I think that self-development videos can be called support, I always supported myself and sometimes such videos too Reveal hidden contents Reveal hidden contents VID_20250527_183136_203.mp4 471.07 kB · You would not believe how much that made me smile :] You sounded happier in your post too and it was really uplifting to see!! I always enjoy seeing your writeups ^^ I'm just relaxing before bed with some music, probably going to buy a Madoka Magica mug and you'll see it soon in this thread Spoiler I got a Pyrex set and can bake dinners in the oven again, feeling like making some lasagna and roasted lemon mackerel over the next week and I'm hoping to find some frozen kalamari to make in the air fryer with homemade dip and salad Edited June 2 by Raskolnikov 2 "None are more hopelessly enslaved than those who falsely believe they are free." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ComanderZhabikKlavik 4,070 June 4 Share June 4 The mug of water. I didn't have time to make tea because everyone in my house except me had already gone to bed and I didn't want to wake anyone up. Today I remembered that in order to enter the University for Computer Science I will need to pass the Unified State Exam (ЕГЭ). I am now thinking how I can prepare for the exam if I go to work, study at a technical school, study programming and do Workout. I don’t understand when I should prepare for the exam. I have about 1 year to prepare. For the Unified State Exam I need to pass three subjects: Russian language, specialized mathematics and computer science. I need to take an exam in these three subjects. Today I wrote in the topic "What are you thinking?" that I have little energy. Now I feel better. I don't want to take a rest, I need to do a lot of things. It often seems to me that I am moving too slowly towards my goal. Yesterday I listened to a podcast about a person who had already earned 1 million rubles at the age of 17. And I still haven't even learned English. And I'm even studying in a specialty that I hate, although if I had thought about my future earlier, I could have immediately entered a technical school to become a programmer. Now about rest. Previously, I often burned out and this happened almost every two weeks. Now I have been studying programming every day for two months and I missed only one day because I was busy with other tasks. I stopped resting after I read David Goggins' books. Well, it would be more accurate to say that I still rest. For example, I can take a walk in the forest, and after the walk I continue to complete my tasks. Another example, after studying programming, I do workout to take a break from mental work. This is how I rest. My relaxation is a change of activity. For some reason, many do not consider this relaxation. And I do not consider watching TV and video games relaxation. This only causes unnecessary stress and fatigue. On 5/26/2025 at 12:46 AM, Raskolnikov said: You mentioned losing a family member so your ability to be productive might be affected - that is fine and it's human to take a rest if need be. I forgot to answer this last time. My grandfather's death affected me greatly. After his funeral, I couldn't program for about two months. During these two months, I realized the transience of life. When a person realizes the transience of life, usually a person stops rushing and enjoys life. Surprisingly, the opposite happened to me - I stopped enjoying life and I began to strive to achieve my goals faster. Now I have regained some of my enjoyment of life, but I still don't enjoy life very well. Little makes me happy anymore when you realize that life can end at any moment. That's why I want to be a machine, I would live longer in the body of a machine and it would be good if I didn't feel anything or could completely control my feelings, turn off unnecessary ones and regulate the power of feelings. 3 T-90 tank Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Raskolnikov 861 June 4 Share June 4 29 minutes ago, ComanderZhabikKlavik said: The mug of water. I didn't have time to make tea because everyone in my house except me had already gone to bed and I didn't want to wake anyone up. Today I remembered that in order to enter the University for Computer Science I will need to pass the Unified State Exam (ЕГЭ). I am now thinking how I can prepare for the exam if I go to work, study at a technical school, study programming and do Workout. I don’t understand when I should prepare for the exam. I have about 1 year to prepare. For the Unified State Exam I need to pass three subjects: Russian language, specialized mathematics and computer science. I need to take an exam in these three subjects. Today I wrote in the topic "What are you thinking?" that I have little energy. Now I feel better. I don't want to take a rest, I need to do a lot of things. It often seems to me that I am moving too slowly towards my goal. Yesterday I listened to a podcast about a person who had already earned 1 million rubles at the age of 17. And I still haven't even learned English. And I'm even studying in a specialty that I hate, although if I had thought about my future earlier, I could have immediately entered a technical school to become a programmer. Now about rest. Previously, I often burned out and this happened almost every two weeks. Now I have been studying programming every day for two months and I missed only one day because I was busy with other tasks. I stopped resting after I read David Goggins' books. Well, it would be more accurate to say that I still rest. For example, I can take a walk in the forest, and after the walk I continue to complete my tasks. Another example, after studying programming, I do workout to take a break from mental work. This is how I rest. My relaxation is a change of activity. For some reason, many do not consider this relaxation. And I do not consider watching TV and video games relaxation. This only causes unnecessary stress and fatigue. I forgot to answer this last time. My grandfather's death affected me greatly. After his funeral, I couldn't program for about two months. During these two months, I realized the transience of life. When a person realizes the transience of life, usually a person stops rushing and enjoys life. Surprisingly, the opposite happened to me - I stopped enjoying life and I began to strive to achieve my goals faster. Now I have regained some of my enjoyment of life, but I still don't enjoy life very well. Little makes me happy anymore when you realize that life can end at any moment. That's why I want to be a machine, I would live longer in the body of a machine and it would be good if I didn't feel anything or could completely control my feelings, turn off unnecessary ones and regulate the power of feelings. My vanilla rooibos cup, the bag ripped... shotglass only vaguely related ;] Zhabik, BIG HUGS. I am so sorry about your grandfather, I recently lost mine too and it had a similar effect on me too - you are not alone in this, it's very stressful, draining and just all out horrible to know life can fuck you over and take people away from you without warning. It has left me with far less energy too and I feel that anger (RAGE even!) and self frustration every day at both the loss and my inability to be more positive or productive than I should be because of it, that can happen and there is nothing wrong with it. I haven't mentioned before but I'm half Polish - and since my grandfather's death I have been almost completely unable to speak in certain shops using the basic Polish I know in real life, as it feels like it was a part of me ripped away after the death... Were you two close? So, you want to be a programmer, but have to go to a technical school to appease parents? Does your performance at the technical school affect your exam? Or is that a separate thing? If you are set on programming I would make it my focus, and you can do the rest after you pass (which you will!). You are young and have so much time to pursue your goals, you don't have to do everything all at once People on YouTube say some wild things about their successes, but usually there are things they don't tell you about on camera as those things make them sound less impressive. Influencers are the new politicians - please don't make the mistake of falling for their lies, they too are a camera act. As long as you are trying, and we know you are, that is good enough! You're already awesome, you don't need to prove anything to anyone man. Also - can you share with us how you make your pine cone teas?! Amazing!! As for me, I'm feeling kinda sensitive ATM - we made the mackerel roast, Acinonyx posted it in the last food you ate thread, and it was so tasty - made the house smell like my sister's house back at home, it makes me think of when her grandma used to buy mackerel from the people's market every Friday and she would make it for us. My parents used to drop me at her flat on Friday as they were busy all day at work on weekends, but that was fine with me as my sister's family felt more like my family than my own. I feel bad normally when I don't wash everything up ASAP to freshen the air after cooking, but it's not too bad in this case... I hope my sister's mum will be around with us for another decade, I feel worried these days I am wasting precious time here away from loved ones I will never get back and it weighs me down so much, it feels horrible when you feel consciously aware of every second of life you and someone else have that has just been spent and you are never getting it back. 2 "None are more hopelessly enslaved than those who falsely believe they are free." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Acinonyx 875 June 7 Share June 7 Tonight it's a CBD tea in my new Fluttershy mug! Tonight is one of my two nights off from the hospital, going to see if can get some more black metal recorded. Got a whole bunch of ideas going on it's hard to concentrate on just one project aaah. We'll get there. I realised this a while back now but I'll just voice it here, there is a downside to working nights when you're a night person - previously the night was my free time, where creativity was most free to flow. Now most of my nights are occupied and whilst the nights are generally still quiet for me it still keeps me from my tools, I really need to invest in that laptop so I can at least feel not so strangulated there. I could take the interface and mini keyboard with me. I just need to stop THINKING it and actually DO it already but it's also EXPENSIVE. Ah also, @ComanderZhabikKlavik I stumbled across a piece of music recently you might appreciate as well. 1 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ComanderZhabikKlavik 4,070 June 10 Share June 10 Ginger tea with lemon zest. On 6/5/2025 at 12:25 AM, Raskolnikov said: Zhabik, BIG HUGS. I am so sorry about your grandfather, I recently lost mine too and it had a similar effect on me too - you are not alone in this, it's very stressful, draining and just all out horrible to know life can fuck you over and take people away from you without warning. It has left me with far less energy too and I feel that anger (RAGE even!) and self frustration every day at both the loss and my inability to be more positive or productive than I should be because of it, that can happen and there is nothing wrong with it. I haven't mentioned before but I'm half Polish - and since my grandfather's death I have been almost completely unable to speak in certain shops using the basic Polish I know in real life, as it feels like it was a part of me ripped away after the death... Hug Spoiler On 6/5/2025 at 12:25 AM, Raskolnikov said: Were you two close? Yes, we were close, he was my first and only friend in childhood and he is still my friend but not the only one I will answer everything else tomorrow via computer if I can. Right now I am writing via phone and it is very inconvenient and also it is night now and it is high time for me to sleep 2 T-90 tank Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ComanderZhabikKlavik 4,070 June 11 Share June 11 On 2025-06-05 at 12:25 AM, Raskolnikov said: So, you want to be a programmer, but have to go to a technical school to appease parents? Does your performance at the technical school affect your exam? Or is that a separate thing? If you are set on programming I would make it my focus, and you can do the rest after you pass (which you will!). Yes, I go to technical school to appease my parents. I will graduate from technical school next year. My performance in technical school does not affect my exam. Thanks for the support! Yes, I am already focused on programming and I still need to focus on these exams. It's still hard for me to concentrate on exams, but I'll make preparing for them a habit On 2025-06-05 at 12:25 AM, Raskolnikov said: Also - can you share with us how you make your pine cone teas?! Amazing!! Of course! 1. Wash the pine cones with water. 2. Boil the water. 3. Put the pine cones in a saucepan (or other container), pour boiling water over them, cover with a lid and wait 15 minutes. 4. Pour the tea into a mug (or whatever you want). I found this recipe on the Internet, there are other recipes but I have not tried them. I used to make tea with pine cones and pine needles. I remember that I made this tea differently. I do not remember exactly how I made it. On 2025-06-08 at 1:27 AM, Acinonyx said: Tonight it's a CBD tea in my new Fluttershy mug! Cute mug! On 2025-06-08 at 1:27 AM, Acinonyx said: Ah also, @ComanderZhabikKlavik I stumbled across a piece of music recently you might appreciate as well. Thanks for recommending this music, it's amazing! 1 1 T-90 tank Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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