How to not be rude in Spain

[Arrlong28 763]

Buenas maneras en España/ Good manners in Spain

 

I feel inspired and I decided to make an Etiquette Spanish Lesson.

Or how to not be Rude in Spain.

 

Bear in mind that I just only know that this Etiquette works fine in all Southern Europe Countries I’ve been to. I’ve never traveled to Central America or Southern America so I don’t know if this etiquette is 100% the same. I saw this Disney Movie about a mexican family (COCO) and I felt more closer than any Disney movie I’ve seen before, so I think probably it can work there.

 

Remember that everybody is unique, this is just a “guide” and in my opinion when conflict appears, 90% of the times is ‘cause some cultural shock or misunderstanding. There’s people that want to be rude at you on purpose, sure… but in Spain if someone want to insult you they (usually) will do that in a VERY direct style.

 

Also, keep in mind that if this is the first time you’re learning Etiquette from another culture, the amount of information may be overwhelming at first!

 

That feeling is common, don’t be afraid. You’re not going to know all what I’m writing here and that’s perfectly fine: Spanish people in general tend to be welcoming and they won’t expect you to know all the Etiquette, but they are going to be very glad you to know some of it.

 

This Etiquette is NOT suited for business and I can’t help you with dating (just be yourself with that person are you interested).

 

Feel free to comment if you find something wrong or you want to write your opinion about this kind of Etiquette! I would love to see your point of view.

 

What do you think about Spanish Etiquette? If you have some questions, I can try to give my view!

 

 

 

SALUDOS / GREETINGS:

Spanish people greet each other in this way.

Female to Female, two cheek kisses (first the left cheek and then the Right cheek).

Female to Male, two cheek kisses (first the left cheek and then the Right cheek).

Male to Male, handshake. Hug if they know each other and are very good friends.

Male to Male two cheek kisses exist. It means they’re VERY close friends and/or they’re family close related (like Father and son, brothers...)

Cheek kisses from adults to children aren't uncommon. But I ALWAYS ask the parents and then, the child, if I can greet like that. I think it's the best way. 

Hugging is a sign of being very close friends. If you greet a Spanish person you don't know with a hug it feel very... Intimate.

DISCLAIMER:

-If you’re going to feel uncomfortable with the kisses thingy, feel free to say that you aren’t comfortable with kissing in advance when you meet other people; offer your hand for a handshake and SMILE. Or just offer your hand for a handshake first and SMILE. A sincere Smile is the best way to solve cultural shocks.

-If you're a Female and there's a lot of people to meet (like you arrive to a great launch) It's common to kiss only your close friends/family and make a sign to the other people like you're "trowing kisses at them".

 

ELDERLY PEOPLE:

Be VERY polite with elderly Spanish people by default, even if you don’t speak spanish or don’t know Spanish etiquette, they will notice that you’re being polite. If they show you and give permission to be informal (like they hug you, kiss you if it’s a Lady or they give you a handshake with two hands if it’s male and they specifically tell you to be “informal”) then they expect you to be informal. And sometimes, if you refuse that invitation to be informal it’s considered very rude. (If a Granny make’s you some food; always say that is delicious and the best food you’ve eaten, the chances are that this statement is true ;D).

 

ETIQUETA BASICA / BASIC ETIQUETTE

-When you enter into a church, restaurant, bar or home, (building) take off your hat or cap: and never put it on the table. That can be disgusting (specially for older people).

-When you enter some store, bar or restaurant that is not “Classy and expensive” expect to be treated in a friendly and informal way. Treat them in the same informal way. If they’re being formal, be formal as well. It’s very common in Spain to speak with a customer in a shop like that person is you’re friend.

-Hand gestures are a thing, like it’s own language.

-It’s common for to pay compliments and use terms of endearment to express friendliness.

-If you’re invited to a home, at a certain hour: don’t arrive earlier! Be on time or just 15 minutes later for safety. Bring something as a gift; like some food, chocolate or a little present. There’s a Spanish Saying “Mi casa es tu casa” / My home is your home, so generally we tend to be hospitable.

-Spanish people traditionally eat 4-5 meals everyday.

Desayuno/Breakfast between 7-10 in the morning. Just a Croissant, coffee, a Doughnut… something very “light” just for start the day.

Almuerzo/Elevenses between 10:30am and 11:30am. Maybe a sandwich, some snack, maybe a soda… (If the breakfast was “Heavy” like bacon with some beans, 2 fried eggs and french fries, all at the same time, I recommend you to Skip “almuerzo”).

Comida/Lunch starts between 1-3pm.

Merienda/Tea Time at 5-6pm.

Cena/Supper between 8-11pm.

-Generally, Spanish people want to socialize in a bar or restaurant instead of home. When you enter a bar or restaurant, and there’s people near your assigned table and they are eating, it’s very polite to wish them “Enjoy your meal” / Buen Provecho.

-Don’t start eating until everybody has food ready in their plates (unless they specifically told you to enjoy your meal ‘cause the food will turn cold).

-Spanish people often share food. The famous “Tapas” are a good example (fried potatoes, calamari, ham, cheese...). The last piece of food in a shared tapa is called “Patata, calamar, etc… De la Vergüenza” / Potato chip, calamari, etc… of Shame. You should offer to the other person the last piece, and if they’re refuse, then you can eat it. Eating it without asking before is considered rude.

If you don’t like to share your food feel free to tell them before they order some “sharing food”.

-Spanish people lunch between 1pm and 3pm and Supper between 8-11. The lunch is a break to enjoy conversation. It’s called “Sobremesa” (¿Overtable?) and sometimes can go from 1 hour to 2 hours of conversation, drinking coffee…

If your friends have kids, expect the children be with them all the time in the “sobremesa”. Spanish people are “family” centered and sometimes you can see children sleeping in a restaurant while this “sobremesa” last until 11pm or 12pm!

 

Edited Monday at 06:18 AM by Arrlong28
Typo's and update's

[Arrlong28 763]

SURNAMES: Spanish people (usually) have TWO surnames.

The first Surname is the first surname of your Father.

Your second Surname is the first surname of your Mother. (By the way, when married, a woman don't change her surname by one of the partner. Just stay the same).

Imagine this fictional Family...

Father surname is: Heredia

Mother Surname is: García

So, the sons and daughters will be called: "name" Heredia García

Disclaimer: If the family of the mother is more "Stronger" economically, the surname is famous and/or she's the last one in the family and there's no more males, someone can inherit first the surname of the Mother Family instead of the Father.

¿Did you know?

When you want to address someone elderly and in a very formal way, you say "Don (Surname)" if it's a Man or "Doña" (Surname) if it's a Woman.

 

NAMES: Translating your name it's considered rude. Spanish mentality is that your name is yours and in the language you're given, and if you address someone remember well his/her name!

Be aware that as everything in life, some people don't fall into this category. Like me. My name in our regional language (Josep) is very difficult to pronounce in Italian so I told Italians they can call me Giuseppe.

Some people will be called by his or her surname (who tend to be more respectful and formal). I'm usually called by my surname, since my name is very common.

¿Did you know? 

The only exception about translating names is royalty: we translate the names of kings, queens, princesses... (If possible).

There's a lot of older people in Spain that have 3 names! It's a old Catholic tradition that I have no idea where started, but today is very uncommon.

And some of those names are composed by two names... For privacy, I'm not going to tell my Father full name. It has 7 words, but iv'e seen more complex!

It's uncommon to be called your full name and surnames, don't worry, normally only very close people know your full name and surnames...

Edited November 14 by Arrlong28
Typo's