So, I need help with a couple of things for fanfic I'm writing.

[Night Shine 767]

Hey everypony.

 

I'm currently working on my second fanfic, a sequel to this one (The Shadowed Nightmare): The Elements of Disharmony: Necessary Corruption.

 

Basic plot concept:

 

 

The Shadow from The Shadowed Nightmare, put onto this by his brother Puzzle Master, sets in motion a process to corrupt a group of six villains to wield each of the Elements of Disharmony:

 

Betrayal=Nightmare Moon, resurrected from the depths of Luna's mind

Cruelty=Discord, brought back using the power of the Elements of Disharmony

Deception=Queen Chrysalis, signing up at the first opportunity for revenge on Equestria

Greed=A mystery character, corrupted from within the protagonists

Fear=The Shadow, setting the entire necessary corruption in motion

Power=Another mystery character, one who has encountered the Elements of Harmony before and seeks revenge.

 

Each of the Mane 6 must connect and harness the true power of their Element to defeat their foil in the Elements of Disharmony.

 

 

Some concept art/music that I made, so far:

 

 

 

The Element of Power

 

 

http-~~-//www.youtube.com/watch?v=_ctRwmAJ7ac

 

http-~~-//www.youtube.com/watch?v=O0gq0SFt5Lg

 

 

 

Anyway! getting off topic.

 

1. Firstly, I need some advice on one issue in particular:

It was brought to my attention that in my first fanfic, my OC/ponysona character Night Shine may have decreased the quality of my fic, because it made it harder to take seriously.

 

On the one hoof, he's kind of a necessary character as the archetypal Herald, and I also tried to make him interesting/developed as, well, just a character.

 

On the other hoof, adding in my own ponysona to the story is kind of selfish, overused, and unprofessional. It also goes against the tone I'm trying to create.

 

What do you all think?

 

 

2. Secondly, it would be awesome if somepony would be an editor for when I start writing the fic. Not just like, "hey, i could give you my opinion if you send me the link to the chapter, I guess", but somepony who could offer a really long opinion on the concepts, symbolism, etc etc as well as correct grammar issues. Like...a critic, or something.

 

Kind of the opposite idea as TL;DR.

 

 

 

So, if you could help me out with these two things for my next fic, as well as give an opinion on my first one which I linked above, that would just be awesome.

Thank you!

Edited October 7, 2012 by Night Shine

[NavelColt 22,880]

Moving this thread to Creative Resources, which I feel is more suited to this thread's goal of feedback discussion about the idea for a fanfic, as opposed to an actual fanfic waiting for feedback.

 

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