Baby's first fanfic! :3

[</pony> 8]

This fanfic was originally supposed to distract my thoughts from a grimdark tale that I read called "A Fun Day" by writing a worse one! I kind of forgot about that, and now it's not nearly as worse. It has my OC in it, though! :3 Hopefully you'll like it. It's just a quick little story. Make sure to tell me of any errors, or room for improvement. I was tired when I started writing it, so it might not be the best in the world. Especially because this is my first. Anywhoozle, here it is, folks!

 

 

 

WARNING: THIS FANFICTION IS GORY, AND MAY OR MAY NOT EFFECT YOUR VIEW ON CERTAIN MLP CHARACTERS IN A GOOD OR BAD WAY.

 

 

The Duke

Prologue:

 

Duke Pool was sitting down on the porch of Fluttershy’s house, alone. The door creaked open, and out came Fluttershy, as shy as always. “It’s getting really late, and I’m really tired from watching my little Angel all day. Do you think you could go back to the coop?” The Duke cocked an eyebrow at Fluttershy. “If that’s okay with you, of course…” Duke Pool just smiled wide across his face, and waddled over to the chicken coop.

Fluttershy had let The Duke sleep with her chickens ever since she heard about the traumatizing story of The Duke’s horn, forced into a Pegasi’s stomach by a mis-driven Sonic Rainboom. She frowned as she remembered the tale. Duke Pool’s horn had been broken off by debris of the accident, and thrust into the pilot’s belly in all the wind. She stopped before she could remember the part where the Pegasus bled out.

Either way, the incident left The Duke scarred for life, and now all his emotions are inverted and gone to hell, like a type of insanity. “No matter what the ponies call him, insane, crazy, Gnarls Barkley, I will help him.” Fluttershy thought out loud. She walked over to her bed, and lied down. She realized that the only sound of the night, was The Duke laughing at some private joke of his. The Elements of Harmony each have their own idea at what it is.

Rainbow dash thinks that it’s a dirty joke. Twilight Sparkle thinks it’s the one about the chicken who crossed the road. Rarity thinks that it’s gossip. Applejack thinks it’s a working joke, one that the workers of Sweet Apple Orchard tell to lift spirits. Pinkie Pie thinks it’s one about rocks, and how boring they are. Fluttershy herself has one theory. One that’s different than all the others.

Fluttershy believes that Duke Pool laughs because if he didn’t, he would cry. There is nothing to prove her wrong, but there’s also nothing to prove her right, either. All of this thinking made her close her eyes, and drift off.

 

Chapter 1:

 

A laugh creaked through the winding hallway, dark but happy. It took Fluttershy a couple minutes to realize that it was Duke Pool that was coming into her room. “You aren’t supposed to be in here, Duke. What happened to your coop?” she tiredly croaked. The Duke just laughed and slowly walked up to Fluttershy. This was too close for comfort.

Duke’s laughs were lower pitched and softer than usual. His breath smelled like lemon, and quite strong being up in her face like that. “Duke? What’s wrong” she continued, eyes wide. She looked up and saw that his snapped horn had started glowing. “Your magic, it’s back!” She said excitedly. Her excitement faded away, and her irises shrunk once she saw what he had used it for.

There, hovering in front of her pale yellow face was a meat cleaver. “Duke, I don’t understand.” She didn’t know how she got the words out. The Duke’s face was stretched wide with the creepiest smile Fluttershy had ever seen. She looked around, to see she was bound down to her bed. “No, please, Duke!”

The large knife slowly lowered. A song was being sung by The Duke, and matched octaves perfectly with Fluttershy’s adorable squealing.

“Red and blue

Yellow and green

Nothing can stop the Duke at his feet

Once they die

Duke shall only sigh

And wander off to burn the meat!”

Once the song was over, Fluttershy’s wings, hooves, and thighs were all either cut off or severely bloodied. The pain was unbearable. It was the worst she had ever experienced. She could barely recognize the soft white pelt that was being brought over her eyes. “Angel!” was all she could say before a sharp, metal object was forced down her throat. “Don’t worry, Death is just an Illusion.”

“Eeeek!” Fluttershy woke up to her own screaming. She looked around, nothing was bloodied, and Angel was sitting at his usual post. “It was all just a dream.” She thought out loud. “A bad one, I presume?” Fluttershy looked up to see her false murderer, Duke Pool.

After she had jumped back and caught her grip on reality, she looked out the window. The sky was already red and cloudy. How could she have slept this long? Without answering the Duke’s question, she asked “What time is it!?” very hurriedly. “Well, if you’re asking me, it’s thirteen o’ clock, but I don’t have a watch!” Fluttershy sighed as she realized that she couldn’t bring herself to talk to this lunatic any more. Perhaps if she had a better dream tonight.

 

Chapter 2:

 

Fluttershy pranced into the city as she realized it wasn’t as late as she thought. She noticed that all of her good friends, the other Elements of Harmony, were as wide-eyed and puzzled as her. They all stared at her. “What’s up, Fluttershy?” Rainbow Dash was the first to speak. “We need to talk to you about something.”

Fluttershy walked with Rainbow Dash, fearing that they were angry with her. The only things that Fluttershy could see on their faces were false smiles. “We had a dream last night.” Fluttershy perked up, eager to learn more about her nightmare. “You had it too!?” she interrupted, the loudest that she had ever screamed in her life. “Oops, sorry.” She corrected a tad quieter this time.

“The one about the new pony in town, the crazed stallion named Duke Pool?” Twilight asked. “Yeah, it was the scariest dream I had ever had.” Fluttershy responded. “That must have been horrible for you, sweetheart, with you housing him and all.” Rarity chortled, sympathetically. “I actually felt the pain, too! It hurt a lot, oh boy!” Pinkie Pie said, bubbly as ever. “I reckon that we just keep quiet about this, it was just a bad dream.” The last pony, Applejack said slowly.

Rainbow Dash confidently broke in, “We should just keep treating this guy as we did before. He might just be getting on our nerves with his constant laughing.” The whole gang agreed, except for one. “Girls! This might be a sign! Why else would it be sent to just the Elements of Harmony, and nopony else?” The 6 ponies considered the idea, and unwillingly agreed.

“You’re probably right, darling. Spike should probably send a letter to Princess Celestia.” Spike took the next few moments to stare into Rarity’s eyes, lovestruck. “Whatever you want…” He finally said, slowly. Most of the ponies didn’t even realize he was there.

The next few hours were long ones. “We ain’t never had a sign this brutal before, why now?” Applejack said. Fluttershy said “I’m not sure, but I don’t want to have to hurt anybody because of it.” “New guy comes to town, turns out he’s crazy, and then we get a sign about him hurting us. Seems legit.” Rainbowdash said. “Okie Dokie Lokie, then! Why not just ask him if he wants to kill us?” The whole gang looked at Pinkie Pie, puzzled. “Oh, right.” She said.

First came a belch, and then a letter through Spike’s mouth. “Owww…” he said. Ignoring Spike’s pain, Fluttershy said, “Let’s read it!” “Yeah, it took long enough!” said Applejack. Twilight Sparkle’s horn started glowing pink, and then the letter started floating, unrolling itself in midair.

She cleared her throat, and then began,

“Dear Twilight Sparkle,

My dear student, I have recently received your letter, and am now taking hours of careful consideration to write this letter. I have officially come to a conclusion. This Duke that you speak of would not only be invading the Elements of Harmony’s dreams if it were not a sign. Duke Pool may have a soul bound to Discord. Yes, I know this sounds awful, but it happens when Discord finds a weakness to Elements and invades it. You may not know this, but there are other elements besides yours. Or used to be, at least.

You see, long ago, there were Elements of Balance, Elements of Myth, and even Elements of Weather! The Elements of Balance’s weakness was Gravity, so once Discord found out, they were squished to death from air. Now, certain animals can fly without wings. The Elements of Myth had another name too, they were called humans, and their existence kept all of the Mythical monsters such as dragons, Unicorns, Pegasi, and even talking Earth Ponies out of their plane. Their weakness was Discord himself. Once he found a way into their dimension, it ripped apart the fabric of their universe until it was no more. Now, we exist, along with other beasts on their deformed plane.

The Elements of Weather’s weakness was greed, and once Discord found out, he gave more severe gain from one natural disaster to the next. They then fell apart, trying to sort it out. They died of starvation, thinking they could survive off of clouds once they went insane. Now, rainbows and hurricanes can be created from scratch. There were a bunch more, but I cannot remember them.

To me, it sounds like your weakness is dreams, so he possessed the Duke’s poor soul, crazed it, and used it to invade your dreams. Again, I’m not sure if this is the case, but it is a theory. Do not underestimate this stallion. Goodbye.

-Princess Celestia.”

There was a long orchestra of silence, until Applejack broke the silence with a bellow of “The Duke is possessed!?” Twilight said “It’s just an idea. The poor soul is insane; anything is possible in his young mind.” “Look!” yelled Pinkie Pie, pointing her hoove. There, standing in the moonlight, was the shadow of Duke Pool, who had overheard everything.

“You think I might be cursed?” He said, tears streaming down his face. He sniffed, and muttered, “I don’t want this. I’m tired of my insanity!” His tears stopped and he looked up from the ground. With flames in his eyes, he laughed “This is a question that drives me hazy, am I or the others crazy!?” “No, Duke. It ain’t like that!” Applejack said. The Duke was laughing uncontrollably now. “I want you... to lay me down to rest, if you really have to!” The Duke was laughing, but not like he ever has before. The flames in his eyes are what scared The Elements of Harmony. Duke turned to leave, and bolted back to Fluttershy’s house.

 

Chapter 3:

Rainbow Dash awoke in a dark room. Once again the Laughing of Duke echoed in her head. “The way the sound bounced off the walls” she thought “This room has to be made of metal.” The lights flickered a red shine for a few milliseconds at a time, and each time she could make out that this room was just a colossal sphere. Each time it flickered she could also see The Duke’s shadow getting closer.

“Nice try, Duke!” she scoffed, “But I’m not bound this time!” She rose her behind up to start a flight sequence, but once she jumped, she came tumbling down. “What!?” She yelled, bewildered. “You seem perplexed” The Duke laughed, “Look behind and you will see, that your wings now belong to me!”

He rhymed again. Rainbow Dash looked at her sides wide eyed and sure enough, her wings were cut off again. With a hint of frustration, she realized that she was bleeding out. The pain surged through her like nails. “Oooowww!” The Duke laughed, and smiled the same smile Rainbow Dash saw the night before. The one that rose all the way across the Duke’s face, and had flames in his eyes. He was determined to make this as tortuous as possible.

“What did I ever do to you?” She yelled, getting most of her anger out. The Duke stopped and thought for a moment, the smile leaving his face. The way that only the fire stood out on him was treacherous to watch. The Duke started humming, and laughing in between verses. “La la laaaa…” he continued with a smile entering his face as the meat cleaver rose. “No, please!”

Instead of the chop landing square in the head, the young stallion managed to cut a little lower, and cut off her hind hooves. He then continued, the smile on his face, with chops which increments were hoove-sized on up the leg. He stopped once Rainbow Dash was just a head and torso. Then the both felt something unexpected. The large sphere then started rolling.

The movement threw Rainbow Dash up to the top of the sphere, and then back down, while the Duke stayed in one place the entire time. The Duke then held his cleaver out in front of him. It was only seconds until Rainbow Dash was plunged straight into the point, and was left there to bleed out.

“Darn it!” Rainbow Dash finally woke up. The dream was longer and more painful than the last. She looked up from her bed to see that Duke Pool was standing there. The Duke was wide-eyed, it just came across Rainbow Dash that it pained him to see that he was the one causing all this trouble. The Duke trembled in place, and finally said “I’m so… sorry…”

Rainbow Dash felt heartbroken for letting him see that she actually was in pain from these nightmares. “Oh, Duke… It’s not your fault. Don’t sweat it.” She said. “Yes it is” The Duke disagreed. He started tearing up, and once they streamed, he just smiled. He was smiling, while crying, with that same fiery look in his eyes. Rainbow Dash was perplexed. She had never seen him this way. Duke just started for home.

Rainbow Dash thought about following him, but she got caught up in her own thoughts. She couldn’t even remember where she fell asleep. She looked around. Still tired, she mistook herself to be floating. Once she tumbled off, she realized that she fell asleep on a cloud. “Ouch!” she said.

“I’ll assume that woke you up!” said Applejack. Rainbow Dash hadn’t even noticed that her friends were standing there. “Did you guys-?“ Rainbow Dash was interrupted by Pinkie Pie, “Yuppers! This one was worse than the last!” “I’ll say!” said Twilight. Rarity said “It was the worst thing I have ever experienced! My Mane looked terrible when I woke up, too!” “Agreed.” Fluttershy and Applejack simultaneously said. “That’s the fourth time I lost my wings!” said Rainbow Dash.

The six friends had already experienced the dream four times now. It was driving them crazy. “If only that lunatic never came to Ponyville!” bellowed Twilight. None of her friends noticed how out of character they were. “I got an idea, but it will take a lot of courage!” suggested Pinkie Pie. “Well, darling, let’s hear it!”

“We have to sleep with The Duke! Face your fears, you know?” The friends thought about it for a minute, and got to work.

 

Chapter 4:

 

“So, all of you are going to-“The Duke interrupted himself laughing. “Uh, yeah. We’re going to sleep with you in hopes of you not killing us this time, so please don’t, okay?” Rainbow Dash said. “I’ll try.” Duke snorted. They all fell down, in hopes of finally being able to sleep soundly.

Applejack awoke next to an apple tree. “What?” She jumped up, “It was all just a dream! Haha!” She turned her head to see Big Mac sleeping on the job too. “Too tired, brother?” She asked teasingly. “Seriously, Big Mac. Stop playin’ games.” Applejack turned over Big Mac, to see that he wasn’t asleep. Once she saw the bloodied face, she knew that the life had been drained from his eyes.

She was furious. She was in another one of her dreams. “This is too far, Duke!” was all she said before a knife plunged into her back, and she woke up, startled. She looked around. She was still in the farm next to Duke, and the other ponies were waking up. Her vision was turning red. She was angry.

“Duke, I can’t take it!” Applejack said. “You can’t do this to us anymore!” The Duke started crying, but he still had a smile on his face. “It’s not my fault. I don’t want to cause you any harm.” Applejack just stormed out, leaving the rest of her friends staring in awe at her reaction.

 

Chapter 5:

“It’s settled, then.” said Rainbow Dash. “Yup.” Applejack paused. “We’re going to end this.” They all looked at each other. “I wish it didn’t come to this.” Twilight Sparkle said, head hanging low. Nobody said anything, except for “Let’s get Duke’s life over with.”

Duke awoke at night, in the vast orchards. He found himself tiredly staring at the Elements of Harmony. “Hello there.” Duke started laughing. He got up. Applejack walked forward, “I’m sorry, Duke.” It only took Duke seconds to wake up.

Applejack brought her hind hoof up in the air. She bucked Duke in the face as hard as possible into a tree. His nose bloodied and broken, he struggled to get up. “Applejack, you… you hurt me… Why?” After a moment of silence, Rainbow Dash brought a mirror in front of Duke. Duke just waited, tears rolling down his face. “Who is this?” Twilight asked Duke sympathetically.

“I… I’m not sure. You tell me.” He responded. With a pink glow from Rarity, the mirror thrust into the air and came back onto Duke’s face, shattering half of it into his cheek. “Who is it!?” Twilight said, now more firmly. The Duke just sat there. Head hanging low, he started to smile. Through all of his pain, he was actually laughing. “Don’t do this!” Fluttershy said, wanting his demise to be as quick as possible.

“I don’t mind. I told you to hurt me if you must. Do what you need, and be on your way.” Duke said. They couldn’t believe it. Duke thought he was going to get out of here alive. The Duke had stopped laughing now, only smiling. Applejack bucked about three more times before Twilight stepped in. “That’s enough, its Pinkie’s turn.” Pinkie Pie started bouncing on top of him, as hard as they could.

Rainbow Dash yelled, “This is for my wings!” and then proceeded to throw a cleaver with the “Sugarcube Corner” logo on it into the air. Fluttershy looked away; she didn’t want to be a part of this. The knife eventually met its target at Duke’s left hind hoof. Duke winced with pain, but kept his smile. He made a high-pitched squeal. His tears rolled at an excessive rate.

Rarity was up next. “Don’t invade my dreams ever again, darling!” she said. “Don’t worry, I won’t.” Duke laughed. Rarity threw a scarf around Duke’s neck, and tightened it so he couldn’t breathe. Rarity’s knife met with his flank, and removed his precious cutie mark. She also removed his entire left hind leg, and enough layers of chest and stomach to remove organs.

Duke still smiled, even when he started to drift off. The blood loss was too much for poor Duke, and he had to be bound to a spell that stopped him from spreading blood at an excessive rate. Once he came to, the first thing he heard was a “Why ain’t he fightin’ back?” from Applejack. They all looked over to him once they heard his “Why, I would never hit a girl.” He said through the scarf, which loosened over time. He still had his smile, and the tears were still rolling, and for the last time in his life, he had a fiery look in his eye.

It was Fluttershy’s turn. She was forced into it in the first place, and was hesitant. “I don’t want to hurt you, Duke.” She said. “Don’t worry; I might as well learn my lesson. Go ahead, Fluttershy.” Duke said. “Oh, yeah, and thanks for letting me live at your chicken coop.” He continued. Fluttershy couldn’t take it. She was the least insane out of all of them, and she like Duke. She wanted him to live. Fluttershy’s emotinos got the best of her. She teared up, and got to her knees.

“Are you gonna do it, or are we gonna have to shove a live parasprite down his throat, like in that ‘Cupcakes’ story?” Rainbowdash said. “I’ll do it.” Fluttershy slowly quavered. Fluttershy decided this was her chance. It was her chance to end Duke’s misery. “I’ll do it!” she repeated, firmly. Fluttershy dug through Duke’s organs until she got hold of his heart. When Fluttershy looked down at her victim, she saw Duke staring back up at her with his signature smile. By now the fire had left his eyes, but the tears and smile remained. Fluttershy tugged. It felt like she was uprooting a tree stump. The last words that Duke heard were his own, “Goodbye, you guys.”

 

 

Epilogue:

 

The ponies had done what needed to be done, and they had thought it would let their dreams be peaceful. Instead of sleeping soundly, they all got a dream worse than all of the others; combined and multiplied even a thousand times. It was worse, because it was eternal.

Duke’s spirit still wandered Equestria. He wondered what needed to be done before he could rise to another plane of selfish beings. “I just don’t get it!” He said, floating over Fluttershy’s head. “What should I do?” he continued. He could only speak with mortals through dreams. This night he chose to speak with Fluttershy, in her dream on the plains surrounded by nature and flowers.

“Why hasn’t my spirit risen to another plane yet?” He asked. “I think I have an idea.” Fluttershy echoed through the dreamscape. Fluttershy leaned over and sniffed at Duke’s lemony breath. After a moment or two, she whispered her idea. And Duke did not like it.

Duke didn’t want to believe that he had to do this to rest in peace. He did it anyways. He carefully snuck into all the pony’s homes, his ghost floating through walls, and ended their life. He made sure that they all were peaceful when it happened. Insanity is nothing good to live through, and Duke decided it would be best to end theirs.

Although, because of their actions, they didn’t rise to the plane that Duke did. They rose to a different plane. A plane where Duke’s laughs and pain haunted them for eternity. Except for Fluttershy. No, Duke had said goodbye to Fluttershy before he rose, but he did not harm her. She was left with the powers of all the other elements of harmony to choose to either stay on this plane, or rise with Duke. And her choice was okay with everypony.

 

Edited October 25, 2012 by </pony>

[Solar Wind 595]

... Well then.

 

It was extremely well written, and I loved the way you didnt make it unbearable to read by making a whole ton of grammatical errors.

However grimdark isn't really my thing and now I know why... I almost stopped reading at the part about you killing Fluttershy but I pressed on and found it wasn't a terrible story after all! All I can say on the improvements side is when writing grimdark, dont grimdark FLUTTERSHY!!!, Lol but thats an opinion....

Rarity threw a scarf around Duke’s neck, and tightened it so he couldn’t breathe. Rarity’s knife met with his flank, and removed his precious cutie mark. She also removed his entire left hind leg, and enough layers of chest and stomach to remove organs.

Haha, I love this part...

[</pony> 8]

... Well then.

 

It was extremely well written, and I loved the way you didnt make it unbearable to read by making a whole ton of grammatical errors.

However grimdark isn't really my thing and now I know why... I almost stopped reading at the part about you killing Fluttershy but I pressed on and found it wasn't a terrible story after all! All I can say on the improvements side is when writing grimdark, dont grimdark FLUTTERSHY!!!, Lol but thats an opinion....

 

Haha, I love this part...

 

Hey, thanks! I have to say, you are an insanely fast reader. It took me 10 minutes to re-read through half of it. >.<

About the Fluttershy thing, sorry about that. Haha, you asked for the link, and I went to send it to you, and I felt bad once I read your page. Haha, I was hoping that you would push on. LOL btw, if you need a picture to imagine Duke in the story, just look at my avatar, haha. Thanks again!

[Solar Wind 595]

Hey, thanks! I have to say, you are an insanely fast reader. It took me 10 minutes to re-read through half of it. >.<

About the Fluttershy thing, sorry about that. Haha, you asked for the link, and I went to send it to you, and I felt bad once I read your page. Haha, I was hoping that you would push on. LOL btw, if you need a picture to imagine Duke in the story, just look at my avatar, haha. Thanks again!

 

Yeah I have always been a fast reader. Its torture when im in class and some idiot volunteers to read from the book. But seriosly I liked the fic and I think you should put it onto FIM FICTION! They have some much tougher critques there but thats where I post all my fics...

[</pony> 8]

Yeah I have always been a fast reader. Its torture when im in class and some idiot volunteers to read from the book. But seriosly I liked the fic and I think you should put it onto FIM FICTION! They have some much tougher critques there but thats where I post all my fics...

 

I will take every single word you just typed to heart. Even the part about idiots reading. Haha, thanks for the tips, and I'll put it up on FIM Fiction. Except, one more question. Does the FIM Fiction have a system other than comments that people can critique and share opinions on their work? The reason I say other than comments is because the best I have seen in the comments is "o wow i wunder wat gonna happen next." Maybe I just don't read FIM fictions good enough to get a better response. Haha, jk. But I probably should look into that.