Distress (An Original Pony Story (First attempt) )

[Twisted Voodoo 21]

*There have been a lot of people who want to see my writing style. For those

who want to see, here ya go. Be warned, not a light hearted person.

If you like it, let me know and I'll continue, and thank you for

any and all feedback!*

 

Introduction

               He stamped his hoof into the ground, watching as the dirt rolled casually up the front of his hoof, parting the ground and revealing the soft, dark earth underneath. He raised his head and sniffed the air, feeling his mane ripple across his neck as a strong wind blew passed. He closed his eyes and took in the beauty of the area. The mountains were sublime! The cold winter fog dripped off the faces of the mountain lazily, not caring where they fell or who they toppled over. The grass waved non-nonchalantly back and forth, dancing with a song that was never there, unless the howling of the lonely wind could be considered a song. The trees shuddered in the distance as the mountains in the distance portrayed the cold, each leaf alive with its own bliss devoid of any real care in the world.

              

               "It's amazing," He muttered to himself, moving his muzzle up and down trying to re-adjust the blood red scarf on his neck, "You see this beauty, no more than a few feet away, and..."

 

                He turned around and stamped his foot on the ground,  watching as the old, hard earth cracked, splitting and splintering as his hoof tapped along the ground. He raised his head and sniffed the air, feeling his mane tug away from his neck, trying to escape the reality  of the world around it. He closed his eyes once more and took in the destruction and decimation of the area. The small town had been nearly destroyed, except for a small lone barn in the distance, yet its doors were barely hanging on their hinges. The land was flat and burned, corrupt with the war-hooves of thousands of ponies. Dark patches of crimson dotted the expanse of land, and dark glowing blotches of magic still remained on the ground. The grass was gone, and there was not a single tree with a leaf. Every tree had been stripped naked, and defiled in one way or another

 

              "Why can't we be a part of Equestria?" The Mare took one look back towards the beauty of the mountains before heading back down to his regiment, a few miles down the road...

 

-Two Months Ago-

 

             "Noooostruuuum!" A young filly sung happily as they dashed into Nostrum's workshop, skipping around tools and other equipment, "Noooostruuuum!" The filly ran around the massive pony's legs, running a figure eight over and over again around his hooves until finally the filly was raised up into the air by Nostrum's Massive Maw!

 

             "Now ya knaw baffer fan ter run aroun' in mah shaw!" The young filly simply laughed as Nostrum carefully put the filly down in front of him. His peppered mane shimmered in the light of the morning sun as he leaned down towards the filly, his massive Stallion frame unmatched by most other ponies. "Listen here Shining Charity, I told you, I can't have you runnin' 'round in my shop, alright? I don't want you getting hurt while I am here, it would make me feel terrible." Nostrum lifted his hoof and   tapped it along the hull of what was once no doubt a massive air ship. "The type of work I do can be very dangerous for me, let alone for someone so adorable as you Charity." The young filly crossed her Hooves and dipped her head to the ground for a moment. 

 

           "Thank you Nostrum."  she said quietly before exploding from the ground, much like a spring! "But I have something to show you, come on, come on, come on!" Charity grabbed on to his Scarf with her teeth and began to tug the massive mare out of the shop! 

 

           "Charity, please," Nostrum "Begged," Not even putting up a fight as he was dragged out into the early sun, "I Have work to do, please, stop!" His deep voice echoed through the streets, the light of the sun not yet even hitting some of the ponies' houses!

 

           "Lookie, lookie!" Charity shouted bouncing up and down, her hooves barely touching the ground before bursting back up like a rabbit who had a little too much cider! 

 

           "Can't look with you bouncin' like a spring!" Nostrum raised his hoof and placed it on the Filly's head She moved her flank to the side and Nostrum could not help but give the widest smile he could!

 

           "Did you?" 

 

           Charity's smile grew larger.

 

          "YOU DID!" 

 

          "I just got my cutie mark!" Charity squealed stamping the ground as she spoke. Even Nostrum couldn't help but shudder from excitement himself! 

 

           "By Celestia, I truly thought it would be another year before you got yours, we- Congratulations kiddo!" Nostrum walked beside Charity and looked towards the rising sun. "Kinda wondered what you were doing up so early anyways. Not many A' pony up at this hour." 

 

            "There was a fight between two ponies this morning, they were fighting over bits and food." Charity smiled as she told her story. "I didn't like what I had seen so I went inside and brought out some bread and some bits out of my savings and gave it to the two ponies. After they thanked me and left, I felt really really good about it. That's when I looked over and, well, it was just sorta there!" Charity looked up at Nostrum who was chewing on his lip and staring across the road.  "Nostrum?" Charity asked quietly, "Do you not like my story?" 

 

            "It ain't that young un', its just... If you're Cutie mark is that-" Nostrum said, pointing to the glistening, gold bell, "You're going to have a heck of a time is all. Don't let everypony take advantage of ya. With traits like yers its easy to do Charity, and I don't wanna see a pony like you brought down in this world. It ain't Equestria." Nostrum sat down beside Charity and continued to stare into the distance.

 

            "I know Nostrum, don't worry about me!" Charity trotted in front of Nostrum and gave him her biggest and most adorable smile- "If I have this cutie mark, I have it for a reason! And I'll make sure to help Everypony I can!" The young filly hopped about for a few minutes, leaving Nostrum to his thoughts. 

 

            "So easily taken advantage of. There are so many ponies that do not deserve to be here." Nostrum thought to himself, staring into the town. "I have seen so many broken homes and families, and I have seen so any lives end in shambles... Girl, if that is truly Yer callin' you got your work cut out for you...but maybe you can make a difference. Maybe." 

 

            Nostrum blinked and looked down to find the bright white filly staring up at him, her bright blue shining eyes staring into his own. "Nostrum?" Charity asked quietly, "You okay?" Nostrum blinked again, and suddenly his dark green eyes were much more tired than before.

 

           "Yeah, I'm fine young un'." Charity's smile slowly faded as she stepped forward and rested her head on his shoulder. any other time and she could only reach his knees.

 

           "I'm sorry for your daughter, Nostrum." Sometimes that filly said the wrong things at the wrong time. Nostrum pursed his lips, his peppered mane falling to cover one eye. 

 

           "It's alright young un'," Nostrum said, forcing a smile, "Go get my can of black weed." 

 

           "That stuff is naaaasty!" Charity neighed.

 

          "Yeah, and it ain't for you, now bring it here." Charity walked back into the shop and a few minutes later came back with the tin of black weed and dropped it at his feet. Nostrum took his hoof and with pinpoint precision popped the top open and with his tongue picked a little of the black weed up before slipping it beneath his jaw. he then closed the tin and spit as Charity squirmed at the site. 

 

          "You shouldn't do that Nostrum." Charity said quietly.

 

          "You're right," Nostrum said with a slight smile, "I shouldn't." Charity then looked around for something new to talk about then began bouncing again when she saw  Nostrum's Cutie mark.

 

         "HEY!" She shouted, her voice echoing in Nostrum's shop, "YOU PROMISED!"  Nostrum jumped back a bit, leaning away from Charity's voiced as he asked,

         

         "Promised what?" Charity looked at the confused look on the mare's face and reminded him that when she got her cutie mark, he would tell her how he got his. "Oh, I did, didn't I?" Nostrum laughed as he looked at his flank. Several interlocked gears with a hammer spinning in the center made the entirety of Nostrum's Cutie mark. "Well a deal's a deal I suppose- Wait, you got school today?" Charity giggled and pranced again and remarked, "Not for another hour! So you owe me a story!" Nostrum then grinned wide and said, 

 

         "NOPE!" 

 

        "What do ya mean, nope?"

 

        "NOPE!" Nostrum neighed again, the grim on his face getting even bigger!

 

       "Oh you'll tell me a story!" She shouted her tiny horn lighting up with a bright blue magic, "If I even have to tickle you for it-"

 

       "Now I don't have time for- HEY, STOP!- AHAHAHAHHA, It's too early- STOP! AHAHAH- CHARITY!" As the blue magic wrapped around Nostrum's stomach he fell to the ground and began to try to fight back, with no effect! "Al-al-al-HA, Stop, alright? I'll tell you, I'll tell you!" Finally Charity ceased her relentless attack and Nostrum slowly recovered, getting back up to a sitting position before spitting again. 

 

       "Now tell me." Charity said, stamping her foot to the ground." 

 

       "Yes ma'am!" Nostrum scoffed, laughing a bit as the filly sat down in front of Nostrum. "I was actually a little older than you before I got my cutie mark. Actually a good few years older, actually. I was actually a decent sized colt before I discovered my cutie mark. It actually wasn't until I picked up that hammer over there when I realized I could fix about damn near anything with it." Charity looked up at Nostrum as if to chastise him for the language. "Sorry young un'," Nostrum said quietly, "I'll watch tongue." Charity then smiled again and continued to remain quiet. 

 

        "My Father gave me the hammer after he saw I had become so interested in it. At the time I could barely drag it, let alone use it like I do now. One day I was playing with the hammer on the street. Now to think about it, it probably wasn't the best thing in the world to be doin' I don't guess. A carriage carrying a bunch of supplies for the town broke down right in front of me, the wheel an' all just popped right off. I mean, I know it's just a wheel and all, but for me, it was a staple of who I am now! I remember taking the hammer, and even as small as I was, taking it in my teeth, holding the carriage up with my back and popping the wheel back on with that thing. It was small at the time, but it was a precursor to who I am now."

 

        "Precursor?" Charity asked, a spark of curiosity in her eyes.

 

        "Yeah, uh, a precursor," Nostrum replied, "Er...something that sets the stage for something else. Anyways-"
 

        "Sorry Nostrum." Charity said quietly.
 

        "It ain't a problem!" Nostrum told her, resting his hoof on her head, "Anyways. From that point on I realized that with that hammer I could fix just about anything...and I did too! Took another couple of years, but when I woke up with my cutie mark, I was the proudest pony in all of Colterra! Ever since then I have been fixing things, and people have told me I am the best engineer pony anyone has ever seen, but yeah, you know."

 

        "But you are!" Charity shouted, standing up and dancing around Nostrum, "Best in the whole wide world! I'm so, so happy to know you Nostrum!" Suddenly the young filly slowed down to a halt. 

 

        "What's wrong Charity?" Nostrum asked quietly.

 

        "I just wish there were more ponies like you in Colterra. You have always been there for me, like another dad...I just wanted to say...thank you." Nostrum welled up inside and smiled.

 

        "It's not a problem Charity. You mean so much more to me than even you realize. Remember that, alright?"  Charity looked up at Nostrum, somewhat confused before nodding and smiling. 

 

        "I know Nostrum!" she cried, before turning away. 

 

         It was at that point, early that morning, with the dew still thick on the grass, with the sun barely peeking above the horizon, everything fell apart. Everything Nostrum knew fell to pieces and there was nothing this pony could do to stop it. 

 

        "Nostrum..." Charity asked, her voice becoming shaky and anxious, "What's that?" Nostrum stood and trotted out, spitting before looking up in the sky. Above them a massive, dark shadow was creeping along the city.

 

       "I don't know..." Nostrum took off into a trot, with Charity close behind looking up at the sky to see what was casting the shadow. As he galloped he saw it. The airship was massive, the propellers alone easily reaching the size of a house. Underneath the belly of the ship was a massive, blood red phoenix and even in that distance, Nostrum locked eyes with a singular pony on the edge of the ship. She was an Alicorn, and she wore a deep red Armor, and had a deep red mane, and even though they were so far down below, and even though the ship was so high up in the sky, Nostrum locked eyes with her. Those firery green eyes. The eyes of a warlord. "Charity? Get into my shop, and don't come out until I say."

 

        "Nostrum?"

       

        "GO!" Charity jumped at the fierceness of his words and took off running into the shop, as Nostrum watched the exceptionally large ship land in a field, not too far from his shop.

 

        "What is this?" Nostrum asked quietly to his self as he watched on, waiting for whatever was to come...

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Chapter 1: Acquisition

        Nostrum watched as the door of the air ship opened. It was an enormous door, the metals which bound the wood together were easily a ton. He chewed on his black weed for a bit before spitting to the side, never taking his eyes off the door, watching it literally sink into the soft soil of the morning ground. 

 

        By now a small crowd had began to gather in Colterra. Ponies of all kinds had begun stepping out of there homes, confused by the site and still waking up. As the crowd gathered in the street only one Pony stood in the way of the massive ship- Nostrum Domus. 

 

        "Be prepared for resistance. Do not hesitate to take them by force as this backwoods community is probably filled to the brim with peasants armed with torches and pitchforks in their teeth. Do what is necessary for the requisition. I expect only the best from you all." A single armored hoof appeared from behind the bowels of the ship. Each plate was a deep red, and in between each joint  fine crimson Chainmail interlaced each plate with not a single flaw. As the Alicorn stepped out, Nostrum finally began to see her in detail. she herself was of a light brown tone, with piercing green eyes and a long flowing red mane. on her chest was an emblem of a phoenix and strapped to her front hooves were two curved blades, intricately designed, each line alive with crimson magic. As she stepped down the door (Which had become a convenient ramp)  she was followed by two large male pegasi in very similar, just as intimidating armor. 

 

         "Who the buck are you and what the hell do you want?" Nostrum spat to the Alicorn. He knew most Alicorn were of royalty, but he didn't care. He didn't like her. The crimson Pony smiled and gave a slight bow to Nostrum. Her guards soon followed suit, giving Nostrum a half bow before standing back at attention.

 

         "My name is Lady Allessia Phoenix, and I have no quarrel with an earth pony such as yourself. You may remain calm as we have a duty to fulfill." Nostrum shook his head and stamped his hoof once, stepping forward to the Alicorn. 

 

         "I don't trust you." Nostrum said before spitting on the ground. The Alicorn gave one look at the brown liquid on the grass before cutting her eyes back at Nostrum and smiling.

 

         "I do not see why not as I have given you no reason to mistrust me. After all we are protectors of this continent, just as Celestia's Military are the protectors of Equestria. You have to forgive me for being forthright like this, but we have a duty to fulfill and I intend on doing so." Allessia began to step passed Nostrum, who merely stood in the way, blocking her path. Allessia raised one eyebrow but never stopped smiling. "I see I must have offended you...I do believe I never caught your name?" Allessia tilted her head expectantly towards Nostrum.

 

         "My name is Nostrum Domus, and I live here, and I think I have every right to know what's going on here."

 

         "That you do, sir Nostrum, that you do!" Allessia raised her head high to show her status. "But I cannot make my declaration if you do not let me pass." Allessia stared intently at Nostrum for a moment before exclaiming, "Ah! I do know you. You are the engineer that's so well known in Avarion. I believe you even did a small bit of work in Equestria, no?" Nostrum nodded slowly, unsure as to how this Alicorn knew who he was. "Either way, you are impeding a military investigation, and that is an offence in Avarion law. I will ask once more to step aside, or I will be forced to apprehend you, and it is simply something I do not wish to do."

 

          Nostrum finally stepped to the side and watched as Allessia stepped passed him and walked with her two guards to the entrance of the city. As they passed Nostrum broke into a small gallop and made his way back to the shop where Charity was peeking out from behind the large garage door. "I mean it Charity, you stare there, ya hear?" Charity simply nodded, a look of concern and worry creeping across her face as Nostrum grabbed his large iron hammer with his mouth and slid it into a sheath on his saddle-coat. He then took his scarf and hid the head of the hammer behind some of the cloth before stepping back out and whilst on two legs, grabbed the chain of the garage door and slid it completely shut.

 

         "Hey!" Nostrum could her Charity shout from the other side, "What are ya doing?" 

 

         "Shush yerself filly, and keep your hooves planted, alright?" No sound came from the other side as Nostrum turned back towards the cobblestone street and looked towards the Alicorn who had already gathered a large crowd near the entrance of the city. As Nostrum stepped forward he spit on the ground, the brown black weed juice nearly splattering on another pony's hoof! Nostrum watched as the Blue-hued unicorn moved his hoof and asked Quietly, 

 

         "What's going on?" Nostrum recognized the pony. His name was Blue Fire and everyone knew him to be one of the most powerful unicorns in Colterra. His magic was often rumored to rival that of some of the princesses in Equestria!

 

         "I'm not sure yet," Nostrum replied quietly, "But I don't like it. I don't like it at all." Nostrum's eyes slowly left Blue Fire's own and rested back on Allessia. By now at least 50 ponies had gathered around Allessia and her two guards. Allessia almost seemed like a celebrity around them. "Helluva celebrity.' Nostrum thought to himself as a scroll appeared from a pouch on her armor. Red magic enveloped the scroll as it was lifted from the satchel and to the face of Allessia. The scroll unfurled and she cleared her throat and began reading from the scroll:

 

          "It is under this royal proclamation that under the rule of king Sea'Es that Unicorn mages have become an  undeniable threat to the kingdom of Avarion." As she read the scroll many of the ponies around her became confused, unsure of what to say.

 

          "What? A danger?" Blue Fire said quietly. 

 

          "Shh." Nostrum said, stamping his hoof firmly as he listened on. 

 

         "Due to the recent influx of excess Unicorn related violence and magical crimes, all Unicorns are to remain in a detainment camp until the situation is resolved. If anypony refuses to abide by this law, they are to be detained, and if necessary upon additional violence, will be executed according to the law of Avarion." The scroll rolled up and slid back into the pouch as Allessia took two steps backwards. 

 

          There would be a fight, and most everypony knew it as more and more fully armed soldiers began to make their way off the airship.

Edited February 8, 2013 by Twisted Voodoo

[Replicant 113]

This is really interesting. You outlined the characters well, and the progress of the story seems to be well-paced... I really like the relationship dynamic between Nostrum and Charity, they clearly have a history together.

 

I hope you update this story or put it on FIMfiction so I can keep up with it. There are some grammatical and technical issues with it, which I would gladly point out if you wish, but otherwise I think you're on the right path. 

[Twisted Voodoo 21]

I really appreciate the feedback, and if interest is shown in it, then it's something I am willing to continue. I have grammar issues though. I tend to type fast and make mistakes...and commas are my best friend -.- I need to watch that more, bit for now so long as you can understand what you are reading (And please let me know if it gets to the point you can't) It shouldn't bother you too much. I will, however keep and eye on what I type and try my best to keep everything in line as best as I can. Again, thank you for the feedback, it means more than you think.

Chapter one is up, for those of you who may be interested! I really hope to continue this, but as of now I'm simply too tired and I don't want to make too many mistakes and ruin the quality of the work.