War of Canterlot

[RainbowShard 2]

http://gmodarts.deviantart.com/

This is the deviant art page that has my story named "War of Canterlot". It has 2 parts but is still in progress.

I would really appreciate it if you can give feedback on it. I accept criticism and will not rage if I get a bad feedback. I will improve on whatever i need to on. 

[Midnight Scribbler 1,705]

I actually posted some feedback on your intro thread, but I'll say here. I liked.

 

Keep on typing, man, it'll turn into something pretty awesome, I'm sure.

[RainbowShard 2]

Thanks for the feedback. Is there anything you think I need to improve on? In my opinion I need to work on my figurative language alittle bit.

[Midnight Scribbler 1,705]

Thanks for the feedback. Is there anything you think I need to improve on? In my opinion I need to work on my figurative language alittle bit.

I'm no expert with writing, but I'd say the only thing I would do is work on how the writing is done in the perspective aspect of it.

You refer to yourself in the story by using first person narrative, but reading it, I don't know who "I" is, unless I know you. Maybe an introduction to who the main character is.