Editor needed for fic please

[Phoenix237 353]

Hello there everypony

 

So after months of planning I have finally started work on my fan-fiction. While I initially planned to draw it out as a comic (Which is my inital intent and am still planning by the way) I thought I'd try it out as a written work first to improve my literature skills that will help me out.

 

What I need help editing with first of all is grammer. I checked myself, but one always can miss things.

Second I would like help on technical help. What I mean is that is my writting format good, is there areas I need help on? Do the two characters talking to each other sound ok? Is my description on areas or thoughs ok?

 

Also please be as honest as possible. This is my first attempt at writting anything liturature related. As a result I know I need to improve on several aspects of my fic.

I can handle "harsh" critacism which means if I am doing something incorrectly I can take it. I WANT to improve and WANT you to be honest with me on what needs improvment.

What I don't want is for someone to say it sucks just for the sake of not liking it . If you don't like it (so far) or don't like the concept that's fine. But if there are areas that I really need help on please tell me and if you can give me adive.

I apprechaite all help and tips.

 

anyways I might as well tell what My fic is about so here is at least the description/ prouloage.

 

One thousand years ago in the land of Equestria

There where two sister who ruled together and created harmony throughout the land.

To do this the eldest used her Unicorn powers to raise the sun while the youngest brought out the moon, thus bringing harmony throughout the land.

One fateful day a being of pure dark darkness emerged.

No one knew where he came from, only that his heart was as black as the night.

He attacked the Equestrian population using his magic to enslave the residents turning them into his personal army.

The sisters tried to vanquish him, but his power was to strong for even them combined.

Reluctantly they called upon the aid of spirit of Chaos and the Elements of harmony.

With them the Sisters where able to defeat the dark ruler, destroying him in the process.

Unfortunately in his defeat the dark ruler unleashed all his dark magic, corrupting and transforming many of the Equestrian into supernatural, monstrous beings.

Ranging in many shapes and sizes—as vampires, werewolves, zombies and ghost—over the years they have brought fear into the night.

They have been come to be know by one name:

NIGHTMARES

 

 

So I attatched the first chapter (and prouloge) to this post. If you need me to send it another way let me know.

(Also dispite the file name being Prouloge it also contains the first chapter/ part.

 

Thank you everypony

 

Edit:

Apperenlty the download link does not work so please post of you are willing to help and I can send it to you.

Thank you

Nightmares Prouloge.doc

Edited February 2, 2014 by Phoenix237

[Book Horse 12]

Apparently there is an error connecting to the attached files.  I can neither read nor download it.  As for the prologue, it sound a bit like the actual show mlp:fim.  However I still liked it and see the differences in it.  There were no mistakes in it as far as I could see, but all I can look at is the prologue, not the story itself. 

[Talisman 31]

I'll be glad to take a look at it. Be warned, though, while I won't be mean, I will be honest. If I think something doesn't work, or a word choice is clumsy, or a plot device is weak, I'll tell you. No offense intended, but I'm not going to sugarcoat it or tell you something's fine if it's not.

 

If you're okay with that, send away and I'll get back to you ASAP.