Have you ever been so bored? Don't have anything to do? Wanna ride a bike, but you don't want to be caught riding one because all the druggies ride bikes? Then why don't you buy one of OURS?!

It's the latest technology in the pretend department! It's so much fun! Just look at these clips!

hehehehe! Such elegance! Such joy, no? The kid's will love this piece of art! For just 35 payments of 369.36$, this can be yours! But if you order now, I'll cut the bike in half! That's right, half the original bike for FULL PRICE! Order now before this commercial is over!

WARNING: I, Dr. Wondertainment, will not pay for any hospital bills for any cause of injury, even if the bike turns into a man-eating colossus and brutally disfigures you.