So. I said i was going to start using this again.

Im going to be a bit rambly here, not very structured and instead more “OH NEW TOPIC. FUCK. SWEARING” sort of thing. Minus the swearing bit.

EDIT: Im going to go ahead and add a “read more” break here. In the grand sceme of things its not THAT long of a post, but personally i would be pretty irritated to see the whole thing on my dash without a break.

So first off i think i need to watch less of hat films, i swear as much as Ross does now. Which explains that. Had enough rambling yet? I wasnt even going to talk about swearing. Holy crap i better use a break thing in this, this is going to go on forever.

Anyway, so computer. I THINK the new computer is really good, like, i got starcraft 2 and the recommended settings for my computer was called “Ultra” or something, which is the absolute highest settings. So thats beautiful, however if i so much as play Garrys Mod the cpu gets to 100 C. So yeah, if i continue to game i will probably damage the computer in a way that makes in on par with the old laptop, meaning it would take away the only reason i upgraded it. I have to save up some extra cash to get the heatsink and thermal paste replaced, and buy a ton extra fans, and have it all professionally installed. So yeah, THIS COMPUTER IS SUPER FUCKING CHEAP YOU GUUUUUYYYYS.

There we go, i swore. Is swore past tense for swearing, as in profanity? I dunno.

Also im saying “the thing is” a lot, and i recently started listening to the yogpod again, so im going to blame it on that.

Awesome segway time, which is spelled wrong, the reason ive been listening to the yogpod is because i like podcasts for when im doing something brainless, or something silent. I could go off on a tangent on the brainless part, but im already on a tangent, and it paid good money to be on here. You think im going to fucking rip it off? You think im that kind of person?

Thats the end of THAT friendship.

I think my coffee must have been better than i thought, im rambling on all cylinders right now. I also cant spell, apparently, as everything is showing up red. And now i fixed it. Will i delete these sentences?

So getting back to it, the whole “brainless or silent things”, ive been drawing on my new tablet (i know, great time to be buying something expensive, right?) and i love it.

Practicing drawing used to be a chore i rarely did. Like, i really want to get good at drawing which is why i did it, but i was poor at it enough that i hated doing it.

This freaking tablet. Im finding i actually enjoy my time spent drawing, in addition to the fact that im making pictures im proud of, whereas with pencil/pen and paper the drawings i liked were very few. Granted i had a figure drawing class with friends last semester, and i advise that to anyone who wants to draw, because my skill grew dramaticaly.

So far i have a drawing of a D&D character im working on (for which i might do a short voice series), a drawing of discord to work as illistration for a story i want to dub (i would make a lot of drawings for it in total), and a drawing of a flame thrower ork from dawn of war, because one night i felt like doing a different drawing than the ones i was working on. Im not finished with any of these three, and im going to get out a yogpod and work on the orc after i finish this, but im already proud of how good they each are. Pickles (the d&d character) now has a background, but needs more detail and dynamic lighting (which i have to learn) and hair (which i also have to learn). Discord just needs an improvement of background, im totally satisfied with Discord himself. The orc i decided to do quickly, so in 20 something minutes i sketched and colored him. For me that is absolute bananas, as im slow as hell, and without the color the sketch is actually pretty good. Then i started working on getting more solid outline, which is what im still on. I like it, but i have issues with the gun.

So yeah, love that thing.

Ive been having a bit of issue with a certain subject lately, that makes me panic if i think too much about it. Im not going to go into this subject to much, but nothing is wrong, its a general subject everyone has to deal with, and im getting better at blocking it out.

Moving right along is the subject of CONFIDENCE BOOSTERS THAT LEAD NOWHERE BUT OH WELL I STILL FEEL GOOD FOR HAVING HAD THE EXPERIENCE.

So i auditioned to an audio project, and was told i was one of two potential choices. We had a bit of back and forth, me doing the lines in new voices, and communication dropped off. Im going to email again to see whats up. I listened to the project, and i wont be offended if they dont pick me, because they are GOOD. Its about portal 2, after the end, and only has one episode out so far. Link here, because this is like my feelings on “Eyes Like Yours”, which is that even if i have nothing to do with it i will still be a big fan, its genuinely really good. http://queen-mickey-the-sass-master.tumblr.com/post/97024738573/open-casting-for-role-of-aaron-halifax Guess why that link is on Mickeys blog. She showed it to me so i could audtion for it, which is the same way i got into Eyes Like Yours.

So yeah, amazing woman, you should follow her art blog and reblog all her great stuff. Not enough people do.

So then, other confidence booster that went nowhere, and maybe its good it went nowhere in this case, maybe not, is the following sentence because i already have too many freaking commas in THIS one.

So im at the mall getting birthday presents and this girl comes up to me. She says her phone is dead and needs to borrow mine to find her friend.

So me being paranoid, dorky, and i think i have the right to say im also nice, i say sure but linger around awkwardly pretending im invested in a candle shelf nearby so my phone doesnt go too far away from me.

She dials the number and waits. After a little her OWN phone rings in her pocket.

She ignores this for a few rings, says “cool’ or something, and hands my phone back.

Then she says “You’re cute. I’ll call you”, turns around, and walks away.

….. Leaving me stupidly saying “Yeah” out of habit, the word leaving my mouth before i processed what she had said.

So for a while im just confused. Like, what, i had my own number on my contacts list and she read it or something? It wasnt until later i realized that she had called her own phone, which left my phone on her recent calls list.

So yeah! Both confident, and clever, and seemed nervous enough that i could probably hold a conversation with her without being intimidated. I like her hat too. It had that really cool Legend of Zelda logo on it. Like this, but the bill was also black. https://www.gamerabilia.co.uk/image/cache/data/products/legend-of-zelda/legend-of-zelda-black-cap-logo-640x640.JPG

Its been over two weeks without hearing anything though, so im going to assume all SORTS of paranoid things, like she sold my phone number to an ad agency or something, and also more logical things like she forgot, lost it, or doesnt give a shit.

Truth be told im not hoping to date a stranger at the moment, for reasons that - oh hey, look at that distraction. Thats a nice distraction.

So yeah im not too broken up about it, im more just thinking “Wow. Did a girl just ACTUALLY try to pick me up?”

Despite certain negative attitudes of mine, i do tend to look on the bright side.

Im not sure if i have anything more i want to say at the moment. If anyone actually bothers to read this, thank you for your time. Its pretty therapeutic to write this down. And no, no i did not spell therapeutic correctly EITHER time i wrote it.

Before i sign this off, i should say i will probably mention D&D in a later post, and go into a bit of detail. There are many positive and negative things to talk about with that.

So yeah. Thank you, and goodnight.