Melinda looked up from her chair, noticing Miles nervously looking around the reception area of the funeral home in which they currently sat waiting for the director to call them back.

 

“Nice place, isn’t it?” she asked.

 

“Yeah, it reminds me of the fancy hotels we sometimes get to stay in when the government gives us awards,” he glanced over at her, “I think I’d enjoy it if I wasn’t so nervous.”

 

It wasn’t a lie, the place was almost as much of an anachronism as Melinda herself with it’s heavily stained oak woodwork and large fireplace. The walls were adorned with paintings hat ranged from scenery to religious scenes of angels, and the furniture was even hand-made from intricately carved wood and silk with what she was pretty sure was real feathers as stuffing.

 

“Come on, there’s nothing to be nervous about,” she smiled, “It’s not like anyone is really dead.”

 

“I know, but it still feels wrong arranging your funeral, even it’s fake.”

 

“I know it’s weird, but that’s why you have to learn to have fun with it, like planning a party.” she placed a hand on his shoulder.

 

“A party where most of the people think you’re dead,” he mumbled.

 

“That’s makes it sort of fun, you get to be the center of attention without anyone even noticing you’re there and hear them all talk about you,” she gave a sly smile and lowered her voice, “Sometimes you also find out who’s not getting a Christmas that year.”

 

“Mom!” he choked back a laugh.

 

“Well, it’s true. If I catch someone celebrating my untimely passing at my own funeral they’re off the list for a while,” a mischievous glint made it’s way into her eyes “That’s if your dear ol’ auntie Melissa doesn’t get a might bit upset at someone at insulting her dear sister’s memory.”

 

“You know mom. I don’t think I’ll ever get used that phoney accent,” he giggled.

 

“Aye, but ah thought this one might be a wee bit over the top,” she chuckled.

 

“Oh God, was that actually your natural speaking voice at some point?” he was obviously fighting back laughter.

 

“Only after I spent a few decades in modern Scotland and started to really become a part of the local culture,” she smiled mournfully, “I should really take you to see the Highlands sometime, it’s beautiful.”
“I’d like that, maybe someday when this is all over we can take the tornado,” he smiled, “I bet it looks really beautiful from a plane.”

 

“Something to look forward to, right?”

 

They were interrupted by footsteps coming down the hall and turned to see the funeral director smiling them: a white-furred fox in a black suit.

 

“You’re the code white, right?” He asked, holding out his hand, “I’m Daniel.”

 

“Yes, I know this must kind of weird even though you do this sort of thing all the time,” Melinda replied as she shook his hand.

 

“Not at all, why don’t you two just follow me and we’ll get this setup,”

 

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“I like the finish on this one,” Melinda examined a deep-blue casket, eventually reaching inside and prodding at the lining, “feels soft, to. I wonder…”

 

Without warning she flipped up the lower lid and climbed inside, making herself comfortable, “Hey, this actually pretty nice. I’m half-tempted to get another one for at home.”

 

“Mom..” Miles tried to cover his reddening face and stifled a giggle.

 

“What? It’s been a couple hundred years since I woke up in one of these and they were just pine boxes back then. I wanted to know if they had gotten less unpleasant,” she laughed.

 

“Doesn’t that weird you out at all?” Miles asked.

 

“No, it’s actually really comfy,” she sat up and slid down down to other end, “Come see.”

 

“I dunno,” Miles rubbed the back of his head, “It’s a little weird.”

 

“Ah, come on,” she smiled, “weird can be fun sometimes.”

 

“Okay, I guess,” Miles cautiously climbed inside and sat across from his mother, “It is really soft, I kind of never thought the inside of a coffin would be this nice.”

 

“I know, right?” Melinda giggled, “I almost wonder if modern caskets were designed by an unlucky immortal that woke up in one to many cold and hard pine boxes before someone could dig them up.”

 

“I guess it’s possible,” Miles leaned back against the pillow and put his hands behind his head, “Unless you were planning on marketing them to vampires, it is strange to make something the owner won’t really get to enjoy so comfy.”

 

“I mean, I’m still glad I’m not going to be actually in it but at least I know if there’s ever a horrible mistake I’ll be comfy until you come dig me up,” Melinda looked over at Miles, noticing him giggling, “What’s wrong?”

 

“I just kind of hit me that we’re sitting in a casket and talking like it’s a new couch,” Miles broke down laughing, “It’s so wrong, but I can’t stop laughing.”

 

“I told you it helps to not take everything so seriously,” Melinda laughed and put her hands on his shoulders.

 

“Yeah, I guess so,” Miles wiped a tear from his eye, “I’m starting to see why you have such a dark sense of humor about this stuff.”

 

“I guess you’ll be taking this one, then?” Dan asked, “It’s a $12.000 dollar casket.”

 

“Money won’t be a problem, so just ring her up,” Melinda said.

 

“Excellent,” Dan began to scribble something on his clipboard and mouthed a few a numbers before handing to her, “If everything looks okay to you, someone needs to sign this.”

 

“I guess my sister will have to it, huh?” she playfully nudged Miles as she took the pen to the paper and signed the name “Melissa MacLeod” before handing it back.

 

“Excellent, anything else?” Dan asked.

 

“Yes, we prepared these last night,” Melinda pulled out a folded sheet of paper and wallet sized photo of herself, “The stuff for the paper.”

 

“I’ll get this all taken care of and call you with a date,” Dan unfolded the paper as he spoke, “I’m sorry for your loss.”

 

Melinda stifled a giggle and watched as a look of realization spread across Daniel’s face and he rubbed his forehead with a free hand.

 

“I guess that’s just instinct at this point,” Dan shook his head, “It’s been awhile since I’ve dealt with one of these cases.”

 

“It’s okay, I’m sure even if you’ve dealt with it before the deceased making their own arrangements isn’t a usual occurrence,” Melinda smiled and climbed out of the casket, "Besides, it at least means you care enough to think of it”

 

“I guess so, and-” Dan looked at the paper for a moment and choked back laughter, “I guess that’s one way to handle that.”

 

“Mom, what did you do?” Miles asked suspiciously.

 

“You’ll see,” she helped him out of the casket and gave a sly grin, “and it’s going to be hilarious.”

 

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Melinda stood next to Miles, looking up at at an unassuming building simply labeled “Final Act Monuments”

 

“Just remember these people aren’t in on it like the funeral home was, so play it cool, okay?” Melinda said.

 

“We’re still going with the Aunt Melissa story, right?” he asked

 

“Yes, and I’m going to have to really sell it so just follow my lead no matter how weird things get,” Melinda said.

 

“Mom, I really hate it when you say things like that…”

 

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“Oh, ah miss mah poor sister so much,” Melinda sobbed and blew her nose into a hanky while hugging Miles with her free arm, “and mah poor nephew is left heartbroken and alone without his mama.”

 

“It must be very hard for both of you,” replied the clerk, a brown porcupine with the nametag Adam.

 

“It ain’t easy, but as long as we have each other we’ll pull on through,” she sniffed and hugged Miles even tighter.

 

“Aunt Melissa, I’m having a little trouble breathing,” Miles said.

 

“Crap, sorry,” she whispered before speaking up, “Ah’m sorry hun, your auntie is just still a little emotional.”
“He’s lucky to have you,” Adam smiled.

 

“Ah try mah best to hold down the fort,” she dried her eyes, “Miles was ‘fraid it would be dangerous for me to stay with him but that rotten egg and his scrap heaps don’t scare me one little bit.”

 

“That’s very brave of you, hanging around him and his friends with all the bullets and missiles flying about,” Adam dug through some papers scattered on his desk.

 

“Like Ah said, ain’t no way that stinkin’ egg is gonna scare me away from mah kin.” Melinda smirked, “’sides, he’s about as sharp as a hammer and MIles here and his buddies always send his schemes up in smoke.”

 

“Yes, I heard you saw that first hand in the square the other day.” Adam scratched his head, “though I have no idea why he’d attack a DMV and who that hired thug hanging around was.”

 

“Ah guess he finally just lost his last marble,” Melinda suppressed a nervous giggle as she locked eyes with a nervous looking Miles for a moment, “and ah’m sure it was just some random skunk he found in the gutter.”

 

“It’s possible, but I’ve heard people talk and that guy sounded more like some kind of higher-class criminal than a street thug. I hear he even had some robot parts, like a cyborg.” Adam finally produced a packet of paper and smiled, “I think he might’ve been a hitman or something.”

 

“Imagine that, ah I guess he realized those robots were as worthless as a three legged race horse.” Melinda smiled uneasily

“I suppose they are, I’m sure you saw how easy Sonic ripped that thing apart,” Adam laughed, “Like it was made of aluminum foil, and making it hit itself like that was hilarious.

 

“I take y’all’s a fan?” Melinda asked.

 

“Oh man, fans of all the local heroes, “ Adam smiled sheepishly “I think if you guys were here on better terms I’d be asked for Tails’ autograph.”

 

“Maybe we can stop back in to see y’all, sometime,” Melinda said, noticing Miles starting to blush.

 

“Maybe,” Miles said quietly.

 

“I’d look forward to it, but for now I guess I know why you’re here.” Adam picked up his pen and sighed, “I guess name and dates are the easy part.”

 

“Melinda Rosemary Prower, born March 7, 1986,” Melinda noticed Miles slipping an arm around her and gently rubbed his shoulders, “and we lost ‘er on September 15th”

 

It finally sunk in that everything with Isa had started only two days after the wreck and her final confrontation with him was merely two days later. Despite feeling like an eternity it had all happened over the course of three days: the confrontations with him, the kidnappings, the rescue, all over by the early morning of the third day.

 

Miles had passed out curled up next to her on the couch and slept until noon.

 

There was a day of resting after that, so that meant she had been declared dead five days ago. Would it be believable that it took that long to make the arrangements? How could her missing body be explained to the hospital?

 

That may not be as easy as she assumed.

 

“Miss, are you okay?” Adam asked.

 

“Yeah, Aunt Melissa, are you okay?” Miles asked before stretching to reach her ear and lowering his voice to a whisper, “Mom? You okay?”

 

“Ah’m okay, ah I guess I’m still trying to believe it mahself that she’s gone,” Melinda spoke quietly and wondered to herself how long she had spaced out.

 

“Just take your time, I know it’s hard,” Adam said reassuringly.

 

“Ah dunno if know if Miles wants anythin’ special, but ah thought about a pretty blue stone,” Melinda smiled sheepishly, “Maybe with the Scottish flower since mah sister was a little more in touch with ‘er roots then ah I ever was.”

 

“I believe that’s a thistle, right?” Adam asked.

 

“Shur is,” Melinda answered.

 

“I’ll have to find some stock images and send them to the engraver,” Adam scribbled down a note on the paper and turned to his computer, “anything else?”

 

“Miles, hun? Anything you want to add?” Melinda leaned down to whisper in his ear “Remember, it’s more like a nice monument than a gravestone since I’m still here, is there anything you’d like to have on it for me?”
“I dunno, it still feels weird and I’m not sure what I’d feel right about,” Miles whispered back

 

Melinda thought a moment, her mind wondering back to a conversation they had the night she died and an idea struck her.

 

“You know what I think I’d proud of it, even if it was real?” Melinda whispered.

 

“What?” Miles asked

 

“I’d love to have your logo on it somewhere so I’d be bragging even in the end,” Melinda glanced up to make sure Dan was still staring at the the computer and not paying attention as she whispered.

 

“Mom..” Miles barely held back a soft chuckle

 

“Well, how about it?”

 

“Well,” Miles blushed slightly, “can I put a heart around it for love? Like I love you?”

 

“Of course, sounds nice.” Melinda gently hugged him and kissed his head, “You wanna tell him?”

 

“Yeah,” Miles answered.

 

“Miles here has somethin’ he’d like to have on the stone.” Melinda said happily.

 

“Great, what is it?” Adam smiled

 

“You know my logo, the one with my tails?” Miles asked.

 

“Of course,” Adam answered, picking up his pen

 

“I’d like to put that on there with a heart around it, but just kind of small and in one of the corners, maybe around six inches tall?.” Miles said sheepishly.

 

“I can figure that out, I shouldn’t have a problem pulling up a copy online to save you guys some time,” Adam stood up and reached his hand over the desk, “that about everything?”

 

“I think so,” Miles carefully shook his hand before looking up at Melinda, “Right, Aunt Melissa?”

 

“‘Course, seems like everythin’ is taken care of,” she smiled and shook Adam’s hand

 

“Excellent, you can come back and sign-off later after you’ve seen the mock-up,” Adam smiled and sat back down

 

“Great, me an’ Miles here gotta handle one last little thang,” Melinda smiled

 

“I thought we were done?” Miles asked.

 

“I just need to pick somethin’ up, is all,” Melinda leaned down to whisper in his ear, “I thought of a slight problem that slipped my mind, we’ll talk outside”

 

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Melinda sat next to Miles on a bench down the street from the monument place, deep in thought as she waited for him to speak and say something.

 

“Now I’m just kind of concerned the local hospital didn’t think my mother’s body getting lost was something worth calling me about,” Miles said, “It makes me worried what other corners they cut”

 

“I guess it is kind of disturbing, I mean: it’s been a week and not so much as an e-mail,” Melinda rubbed the back of her head, “I’m glad Dan is in on the whole scheme or he’d be in for an unpleasant surprise when he tried to retrieve me.”

 

“So, what do we do now?” Miles asked

 

“I dunno, maybe go in and ask if I’m ready to be moved yet, so Melissa can raise hell about them losing her sister’s body and not saying anything when they have to fess up?” Melinda idly swatted a bug off her arm, “sure are a lot of bugs around for the middle of fall.”

 

“Actually, it seems to be the same one following you around, do you have candy in your pocket or something?” Miles asked.

 

“No, I don’t thin-,” Melinda narrowed her eyes at the horse-fly sized bug as it once again landed on her arm, “following me, huh?”

 

“Yeah, it’s kind of weird because horseflies usually don’t hang around the city,” Miles answered.

 

Melinda carefully readied her hand, and in one quick movement grabbed the fly off her arm, holding up her now closed fist to her ear.

 

“Whoa, that was pretty cool,” Miles smiled, climbing to his knees and leaning towards his mother’s hand, “can do the thing where you catch one with chop-sticks?”

 

“I dunno, I’ve never tried,” she shook her hand next to her head and lowered her voice to a whisper, “Listen, I can feel it moving around but no buzzing.”

 

A look of realization spread across MIles face as he lowered his voice, “You don’t think it’s one of Eggman’s bugs?”

 

“It is, I can feel the metal,” she whispered, “and I’m leaving it intact for you to examine, but first you may want to cover your ears because I’m about to give his eardrums a beating and I know you have sensitive hearing”.

 

Miles complied and pressed his ears against his head, nodding when his hands were firmly in place

 

Melinda drew in a deep breath and brought her hand close to her mouth, bracing herself and glancing around to make sure they were alone.

 

“BUG OFF, YOU SOFT BOILED SCRAP METAL TECHNICIAN,” she screamed as loud as she could, feeling the bug stop moving in her hand and hearing it beep softly.

 

“WOAH, I bet his ears are ringing now,” Miles laughed as he let go of his head, he ears twitching as they unflattened.

 

“If Kai is ever around when he tries that I’ll just ask him to howl at it, really confuse that moron,” Melinda opened her hand and held it towards Miles, the now lifeless machine laying in her palm, “He shut it off, but you should still be able to find something out from it.”

 

“Thanks,” Miles took the machine from her hand and reached for the brown leather bag on the ground next to him, “Maybe it has internal memory or something besides directly transmitting”

 

“If it does, I hope he got my good side,” Melinda silently thought for a moment, “Also, remind me to beat the crap out of him sometime,”

 

“Isn’t that something you’d like to do, anyway?” Miles asked as he stuffed it in the bag.

 

“Yes, but now I have an extra excuse because that thing tried to follow me into the bathroom back at the station until flicked it off” Melinda glanced down at Miles, who was giving her a funny look, “Don’t worry, it was trapped outside so there’s nothing you don’t want to see on there.”

 

“Thank God,” Miles breathed a sigh of relief, “That would’ve been awkward”

 

“Crisis averted, huh?” Now you’ll just have several highlights of me knocking the daylights out of it.” Melinda laughed.
“Yeah, maybe it saw that thing with the casket and freaked him out,” Miles laughed.

 

“I’d love a copy of that scene, maybe clean up some screenshots and print for the album, huh?”

 

“Yeah, make one the “special” christmas card for everyone that’s in on the plan,” Miles giggled

 

The two of them merely took a few minutes to get it of their systems and relax before MIles wiped the tears from his eyes and spoke up.

 

“You know, we’re really going to have to come up with with some excuse for how we found your lost body that the hospital is going to buy,” Miles said.

 

“Just let me call Kai and Daniel, I might have an idea,” Melinda gave a sly grin to Miles as she pulled out her phone.
“Mom, have I told you yet that look makes me nervous?”