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Gabriel Smith

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  1. Gabriel Smith
    So presuming anyone reads my blog, as you know the Blog usually updates on a Wednesday. However, it hasn't for the past couple of weeks. Assuming I have regular readers, I owe you an explanation of what is currently going on.
     
    I am going back to College.
     
    Yes, I am going back to College. The last couple of weeks have been spent preparing (and trying to get on a course in the first place) for the upcoming academic year. I will be restudying art for a planned period of Four Years, not counting when and if I decide to attend University (which is as I see it the requirement of anyone seriously looking for a Career in a non-standard job) - but hopefully I'll be able to draw again. As such, I haven't had the headspace to attend to the Blog.
     
    For anyone wondering, enrolment is on the 30th of August, and we start offically on the 2nd of September.
     
    That, and I've had to push priorities down. Since nobody really reads the blog anyhow, the priority in updating it and keeping it relevant has slipped down further and further. I'm not really the kind of guy to try "selling out" or doing the whole "LOOK AT ME, LOOK AT ME!" thing (because I know how annoying "Buy my book!" sounds), but if nobody's reading why even bother in the first place?
     
    So in shorthand -

    Been busy organising for College.
    Blog has taken a backseat due to low viewership.

    So, what would this mean for the Blog? Assuming I don't cancel it to focus on my studies, it's timeslot is definitely going to move as College Hours require. I don't know if I should or not though.
     
    On a less depressing note, here's a happy bouncing Pony.
     

     
    Until next time, I have been your GABEN.
  2. Gabriel Smith
    Welcome back to the Gabeatorial. Asides the recurring nightmares about Spiders, Stephen Moffat and certain images people link me to break my sanity, I could not be feeling better...except maybe for the lack of sleep.
     
    That being said...let's do something cynical, yet fun this week.
     
    Games Workshop. Boy are you guys a real love/hate relationship of mine (mostly hate, but hey - I still support My Little Pony post Season 2, so what am I talking about?). With expensive, over designed models that they have the audacity to overcharge how much it actually costs, sending out cease and desists at the drop of a hat and one of the most vitriolic fanbases I can conceive, these guys can't possibly be doing well, right?
     
    ...What do you mean they still have a Monopoly? And that they're making Profits yearly?!
     
    I suppose much of this boils down to the rule of Games Workshop and how they profiteer. They like to feast upon fanboyism and victimisation - you could be playing something else, but all your mates are probably into Warhammer 40,000, so naturally you have to own an army too if you don't want to be left out.
     
    Pray you don't live in the Nottingham area - if you don't have a GW product army, good luck finding a gaming club that supports what you want to play!
     
    With that in mind, here are five Tabletop Wargames that are superior in one respect or another to one of Games Workshop's products. We will be looking at Fluff and Mechanics (aka Crunch) - after all, a game can have the ugliest looking Models in the world, but if the game is halfway decent in either area it can very much save it.
     
    With that said...
     

    #5) Secrets of the Third Reich


     



     

    Dat hat.


     
    Secrets of the Third Reich is an amazing, four star quality game from West Wind - a very tiny Tabletop Wargaming company from the United Kingdom.
     
    At first glance I can see what your thinking - "pfft, haven't we had enough World War 2?". And in a sense, your right - most Tabletop Companies manufacture World War 2 miniatures, and then of course there's Flames of War. However, if Flames of War is the Tiberium Saga, then Secrets of the Third Reich is the Red Alert trilogy - the first and maybe the second games from that at any rate.
     
    Set in a World War 2 that has yet to end, Secrets of the Third Reich is a platoon scale game that gives you command over a platoon of Germans, Russians, Brits or Yanks. The twist however is that all of the factions have a wide variety of weirder troops and vehicles they can call upon, from Nazi (or Soviet!) Zombies to Powered Exoskeletons to Vampires to King Arthur. And if that isn't enough, an easy to use Vehicle Designer allows you to create and deploy your own deranged war machines upon the enemy.
     
    While the game does have it's flaws (my one and only gaming session of Third Reich ended up in a scenario where my opponent and I had to house rule a solution for a drawn close combat because the book did not present a solution), it's imagination, use anything you have mentality and general fun factor make it superior to just about anything in the Games Workshop catalogue, and it's a game that like AT-43 I'll be waiting to play again until the end of time.
     
    It's also probably the lease expensive game here.
     
     

    #4) Dropzone Commander


     



     

    Note: Not an accurate representation of the game itself.


     
    Hawk Wargames are an upstart company based in the United Kingdom who have blown apart expectations with their debut game, Dropzone Commander - and it's not hard to see why.
     
    Dropzone Commander is set in the 27th Century, and the ongoing fluff chronicles the story of mankind's campaign to retake Earth from an invading race of Parasites called the Scourge. Thrown into the mix are the mysterious Post-Human Republic (humans who fled with the aid of a mysterious White Sphere before the Scourge arrived, and now exist as badass cyborgs) and the enigmatic Shaltari (a race of warrior-mystics with very John Carter inspired machines). There are rumors now of a fifth faction circulating, but no confirmation yet as to what it is.
     
    Regardless, Dropzone Commander plays out like a tabletop version of Ground Control (before Ground Control 2 happened and derped everything up anyway) - many of the games strategies focus upon strategic deployment and rapid response. The fighting is fast and brutal, and many tears will be shed before the game ends.
     
    Where it loses marks however is in it's price point. Dropzone Commander is a very expensive game to get into. However, the models themselves are of high (or even higher) quality than Games Workshop's products - the faction design is remotely alien to anything out there on the market at the minute (the Shaltari being the biggest example, with their war machines being very heavily John Carter inspired), and the models are downright indestructable.
    . There's also some missing rules as well (exactly what Active Countermeasures do to protect a Unit is never explained, so the "Ranged Full" and a "Ranged Countered" statistic on weapons is redundancy for the most part). 

    #3) Infinity


     



     

    For the Greater Weeaboo!


     
    NOW we're playing with power.
     
    Infinity is a Skirmish level tabletop wargame - meaning that rather than commanding an army like the above two, Infinity is centred around a small team of soldiers (often written off from what I understand of the fluff as adventurer parties or ad-hoc special forces units). Infinity is one of the big heavyweights that resurrected a dying genre within the Tabletop Wargaming community (though it wasn't alone on that front as Maulifaux can attest). Not bad for a small company from Spain.
     
    I cannot comment a lot on Infinity's fluff, as I do not possess much at hand. However, what I can tell you is that Infinity is hilariously (and tragically) brutal. Your men will die, often in repeatedly brutal and humiliating manners, but that's not why it's better than anything GW makes nowadays.
     
    It's better because of the rules. Infinity innovates - it was the first to use the Alternating Activation System used in the likes of Dropzone Commander, which allows both players to be making moves simultaneously without slowing the game down to a crawl or becoming convoluted. The Orders system as well adds an element of strategy to the game, especially when it comes to the Squad's Lieutenant and keeping him safe.
     
    Combined with it's low price point and ease of access for new players, Infinity sits in at the Number 3 point.
     

    #2) The Iron Kingdoms (Warmachine/Hordes)


     



     

    KHADOR SMASH!


     
    Named for the combination of Warmachine and Hordes (which are designed to work together anyway), this game...you want to know what it does better than Games Workshop?
     
    Everything. And I wish I was making it up, or beating around the bush.
     
    The brainchild of Matt Wilson, both Warmachine and Hordes have the same premise and operate on the same system (and can even fight each other!). The player controls a crazy awesome Mage (either a Warcaster or a Warlock, depending if your a Warmachine faction or a Hordes faction), who in turn commands either badass Steampunk Robots or badass monsters to kill each other. Oh, and there are some little guys running around getting squished by them - they're kinda inconsequential. Oh, and then there are the even bigger Robots and Monsters that are so fun to use Games Workshop had to create things like the Riptide and Wraithknight to compete with them. Way to go PP!
     
    On a fluff level, the Iron Kingdoms has hands down the best written and most well developed fluff of anything out there on the market. While Warhammer 40,000 suffers from an overflow of Mary Sues, Misogony and weapons a ten year old would make up (especially in more recent years), the fact that the Iron Kingdoms was a Dungeons & Dragons setting originally can be seen on display in every inch of the fluff. Rather than focusing on fifteen billion and one factions who are rapidly blurring into a grey mess, Warmachine has six solidly defined, well characterised factions and Hordes has four equally solidly defined, well characterised factions (plus an additional "Mercenary" faction for both systems). For anyone wanting to write fiction for a Tabletop Wargame, I point to this game as the Ur Example of how it should be done.
     
    And the crunch? Like everything else on this list, it's fast paced, super brutal and extremely scalable - you need only a single Warcaster/Warlock and a couple of Warjacks/Beasts to start playing. And these guys don't just stand there hitting each other - depending on how you use your Focus, or how you manage your Fury, your Robots and Beasts will be headbutting, slinging each other around the map and ripping off the opponent's limbs and beating him with the soggy/sparky end.
     
    I'm running out of space, so I'll finish off that while it does have a high price point, you need significantly fewer models (and thus less Dosh) to play than what GW would charge you. Also, they're having a Kickstarter right now for an upcoming slice of awesome, so either pledge now, or at the very least give fun a Greenlight?
     
    And now, at number one...
     

    #1) Monsterpocalypse


     



     

    Living here in Jersey, fighting villains from afar...


     
    And seriously, would it really be anything else?
     
    Monsterpocalypse is the most amount of fun I had with a Tabletop Wargame since my youth where I played sessions of Necromunda and Inquisitor with my "College Buddies". What's it about? Giant monsters beating the ever loving bejeezus out of each other! It's essentially Pacific Rim: The Tabletop Wargame.
     
    Monsterpocalypse takes a ball of crazy awesome, infuses it with 50's B-Movie radiation and makes it snort cocaine for the resulting concoction. This is a game where you can have Mazinger Z beat up Cthulu. I'll say it again -
     
    This is a Tabletop Wargame where Mazinger Z beats up Cthulu.
     
    Only a person devoid of any sense of fun could not see how that's not appealing in the slightest.
     
    It's also surprisingly easy to learn to play. And I mean rocks-over-brains levels of easy. It's pretty damn hard not to recommend this game - especially if you just got back from seeing Pacific Rim.
     
    Which brings me to some bad news. Due to a movie deal with Paramount going south, Monsterpocalypse has gone into suspended animation at Privateer Press. Not because the game wasn't printing money for them, but because of Hollywood movie deals and stuff (not that the movie would have been great anyway - Tim Burton as the Director anyone?). You can find the pieces around eBay for cheap, but outside of that this makes the game slightly inaccessible.
     
    And there we are. Five games that do things better than anything Games Workshop can do. And of course there are dozens of others I've missed off - Dystopian Wars, Malifaux, Dust Tactics and even up and coming games like All Quiet on the Martian Front and Wild West Exodus. I'm sure I will get around to them soon enough.
     
    Until then, I have been your GABEN...and I think my PHR army just arrived. Excuse me...
  3. Gabriel Smith
    For the previous entry in this sub series, see here!
     
    Ladies and Gentlemen, it's late Monday Morning as I sit on my chair listening to Queen while writing all of this. I've been busy with yet another idea, and thus haven't had much planning time for a blog.
     
    So for this one, let's talk about OC's. Don't worry, I'll get some Non-Pony related ones involved, though due to most of the rights belonging to others, there's only a handful we can talk about, so it's a shorter blog.
     
    And now for some eye bleeding stuff. Barf bags on standby.
     
     
     
     

    Atlas


     



     

    I once built a Tower. It was this tall.


     
    Atlas wasn't going to be a Ponysona originally. No, I'm serious, he was intended as a one-shot charecter for a certain short story. In original drafts as well, his name was originally "Colossus". Given how everyone and their grandmother also has an OC named Atlas, in hindsight I should have stuck with that name, right? However, I kept Atlas around and later adopted him as a Ponysona when pressed for one.
     
    Regardless, Atlas's physical design plays into his name. The reason his fur/skin is blue, eyes are brown and hair is green? Well, look at what else uses that palette. I'll give you a few moments.
     

     
    SYMBOLISM!
     
    Further adding to it is his Cutie Mark. While many think of it as a Mole (mostly because of an Avatar I've been using until recently where the Mark isn't shown), the whole "pony lifting heavy orb over his head" thing was an allusion to the Atlas of mythology. In other words, I like meaningful names. More news at 11.
     
    Personality is where things get rather boiled over. At first glance, Atlas is a generic OC with generic OC backstory. However, these people haven't sat down for a session. Atlas isn't a whining emo who complains about how his life sucks. Nor is he intentionally grimdark. Infact, these aspects when I dig him out are downplayed on purpose - because nobody likes an Emo. If they did, Shinji Ikari would be Anime Jesus at this point in time. If anything, Atlas is handled in the same way as everyone else - an archetype with a small twist or two ontop of things.
     
    Yet he forever remains unpopular with people. Not that I'm out to win a competition, but the amount of dismissal because of certain features irks me no end. I'm surprised InvisiblePinkUnicorn even came out and offered him a seat at a table.
     
    But I'm getting off topic.
     
    His characteristic stammer was introduced a short while after I started RP'ing with him. It was an attempt to make Atlas sound less...robotic. I'm honestly not very good at Character writing, so I tend to use Quirks to compensate. But Atlas is best pony.
     
    And by character standards, Atlas is the least weird...
     

    Neumann


     



     

    Look, I arsed this together in the space of Five Minutes in Pony Maker, cut me some slack m'kay? Of course it's going to be extremely inaccurate!


     
    Neumann is pretty damned weird as characters go. He's a Pony that isn't a Pony. So what is he? Well, Neumann is a blob of sentient Nanomachines, Son!
     
    Much like Atlas, Neumann also had his origins in a Fanfic that (this time) was cancelled, mainly because I lack the skill or patience to write excessively long fiction called The Pony who fell to Equestria. It soon occurred to me that there were some aspects of the story that didn't make sense - or wouldn't make sense without another fic explaining them. This gave rise to the holy grail of my Fanfiction writing, The Iron Uprising (think The Second Renaissance with Ponies in a Magipunk esque setting written in a style similar to the Iron Kingdoms background information and your not far off).
     
    Neumann is at the end of the day a machine, and this lead into his personality and behaviour. Neumann would commonly address other Ponies as Units ("Unit Fluttershy likes small Organic creatures"), use excessively verbose vocabulary, even when not needed ("Medical Unit, we request that you repair Unit Twilight Sparkle with optimal efficency!"), and with virtually little to no knowledge about Equestria.
     
    That said, he'd still read though your Library and remember every fact about it in a flash.
     
    Neumann has even less combative ability than Atlas. Being made of Nanomachines, Neumann can copy parts of others - mimicking horns and wings for example - but gaining very little benefit from them (so if he copied a Horn, he could not use Magic for example). Neumann also cannot copy complex designs - devices with moving parts or complex components naturally. Even when taking on the shape of a Pony, Neumann does not copy Pony Biology completely - in other words, he doesn't copy their internal organs and moving parts.
     
    Neumann however is a disused character at this point. Mainly because at the end of the day, he just wasn't fun to write for, like many an OC. Neumann is here essentially to represent why I can't repeatedly crank out OC's like others can. Heck, Atlas passed his first Birthday this year, and he's very much still evolving as a Character into a suitable form.
     
    And now, for the non-pony related stuff. BEHOLD THE HORRORS OF MADNESS!
     

    Warsmith Furor


     



     

    Furor and his Iron Kingdoms Homies chilling on the Bookshelf. I did take a photo without flash and it's not as great. Seriously, my Camera SUCKS.


     
    Warsmith Furor is the leader of my own Chaos Warband. He's a member of the Iron Warriors, and thus is automatically infinitely more badass by virtue of not being an Wardmarine.
     
    However, if your average Chaos Lord is Starscream - wanting to seize power and glory for his or herself, then Furor is Shockwave - the coldly logical mad scientist who spends all his time in the lab. And we do mean almost all of his time - mundane functions like making sure the Slaves do their jobs or feeding his many (obsessively horse shaped) Demon Engines tend to fall to other members of his "Warband" - typically characters he's bribed, coerced or even pulled a few favours for in the past.
     
    And it also gave us an opportunity for some crazy.
     
    As an example, we have a Chosen Champion who lost his arm to a Wardmarine Sergeant in single combat. When Furor recovered him, he also recovered his arm, but in typical fashion decided not to reattach it.
     
    He decided to build him a better arm. And it never looked better.
     



     

    For those wondering, yes that is a badly painted Wardmarines helmet. And that Claw is from a Chaos Warsmith Model. We treat it as a Lightning Claw for game purposes.


     
    And other crazy, crazy stuff. While generally Shockwave in his lab while cruising around on his personal Space Hulk desiging Equipment and Demon Engines for other Chaos Warlords and experimenting with Warp Energy, occasionally he'll run out of Slaves or Metal.
     
    This is where he grabs his axe, dons his Terminator Armour and goes to plunder. Not that he cares much about winning glory for the Dark Gods or anything.
     
    And while your trying to unscramble all of that, I'm going to go put dinner on. Next week will be something more coherent, I promise.
     
    Until then, I have been your GABEN, and I'll be collecting my Flame Shield.
  4. Gabriel Smith
    Special Thanks to InvisiblePinkUnicorn for consulting with us on this topic beforehand.


     
    So it's been a bad week. A very bad, career destroying week. It's at times like this where I need to switch off and unwind...but there's so little I'm watching and playing right now. God knows Singularity's bloody Phase Ticks deserve to go die in a fire (I will be replaying that level over and over again in hell, I just know it), and there's really not a whole lot going on on the Animation front (kinda running out of ideas, Cybersix is definitely a short term solution to things).
     
    So let's talk about Creation. The next four weeks, I'm going to be talking about my own work, highlighting and raising the profile of some of my stuff. Call it ego-stroking if you really must, but what else was I going to be talking about - angry people bombing the Metascore of Company of Heroes 2 because it dared to be historically accurate? That forever postponed talk about a certain pompous, egotistical fanbase that makes Bronies and Sonic Fans look sane by comparison? How awesome Pacific Rim was?
     
    ...
     
    ...Topics for another day. So,where are we going to start? Well, let's do something drunk, stupid and fairly recent, that's been mentioned previously if you happened to read the entry thrice removed.
     
    Let's talk about Equestrian Earth.
     

    Origin


     
    Equestrian Earth is a 2013 Project that had something of a history behind it, the embarrassing story of which I'm going to reveal now.
     
    Ever hear of Writing.Com? Well, I wanted to try and bring some quality there. Skim over it's MLP content for a little while - at least a good 66% (and this is me being generous) is all Fetish related material. Your not helping your image there guys. Anyway, after examining a few of them, their work was pretty sub-standard. If I had my way, most of them would be getting a single star rating, and this again is me being generous.
     
    Then I found Riptide.
     



     

    For the Greater Weeaboo!


     
    For those not in the know (i.e: Most people reading this), Riptide is my Hetrosexual Life Partner. It's thanks to a big part in his efforts that I was able to finally connect with Bronies on any capacity again, with his role essentially being somewhere between a Priest, a Confessor, a Work Partner and a PILC (Pony I Like to Cuddle).
    He was also the one who suggested not making it an Interactive, and moving it into full Roleplay Territory, which we did.
     
    And then, the rest is history.
     

    Story


     
    The "Story" of Equestrian Earth (and I use that lightly given it barely has one) covers a version of our Earth at an ambiguous number of days in the Near-Future. Thanks to an event known as "The Merging", which has heralded by the planet increasing it's own mass, alterations to Colour and various natural disasters to a level you'd think someone like Galactus was invading.
     
    The truth was, it was actually our Candy Coloured Friends. Our very large and cuddly Candy Coloured Friends.
     



     

    >Do you prefer giant or small sized ponies?
     
    big ponies
     
    i want to be able to hug and snuggle pon, if pon is too small pon has small surface area and volume which is less to hug and less contact


     
    Actually before we move on, Fun Fact time - originally, the Ponies were going to be between 400-600ft. For anyone running mathhammer, this makes them roughly Jaeger sized. After further mathhammering that this would result in Dragons, Ursa's and Atlas's that measured nearly 2 Miles in height, the Ponies were cut down to being 100ft (with everything else being scaled down to a more manageable 1700ft at least - remember that this would still make them Giant sized compared with the normal Ponies, so it's about keeping consistancy - this is not Redwall!).
     
    Anyway, apocalyptic doom and gloom happened as the Humans took the new "invaders" well. Riots, conflict and panic erupted as the old order collapsed, and from the ashes the new "Block" system was established.
     
    A "Block" for anyone wondering is a collection of countries and territories united under a single banner. While fairly stable, each Block has it's own problems to allow for ADVENTURE. It also means I got to listen to a lot of Rush and restudy the Cold War.
     

    The Blocks


     




     
    Ah yes, my favourite part. The Blocks as discussed previously are a collection of Countries and Territories united under a single banner. Blocks vary in power and size, and have wildly varying ideologies that reflect changes from The Merging. So far, the Blocks discussed publicly are -
    The Free Human League (Crimson) - The FHL occupy what was the former United States, Cuba, Alaska and some of the surrounding islands. The best way to sum up the FHL is a nation of the most militant Anti-Bronies you can imagine. They're a highly militarised, aggressive (but technologically lacking) Block, whose entire strategy revolves around wiping out the "Equestroid Menace" and putting Humans back as the sole dominant power on the planet. They also like to deploy Nuclear Weapons. A lot.
    The Human-Equestrian Commonwealth (Blue) - The HEC are where most of the Ponies you know and love live. Here, Princess Celestia has remained in power...but it's not exactly a popular move. As the sole figure of power within the nation, Celestia has caused quite the stir with the Human populace, and as a result there are a lot of internal Racial tensions within the Block. It doesn't help that Celestia also seems bent on uniting the other blocks under her rule - and contrary to opinion, no Celestia is not Tyrantlestia, Trollestia or even Molestia (Molestia WOULD earn you a flat ban).
    The Neo Paradigm (Dark Green) - Formerly the Slavic Federation, the Neo Paradigm are a bizarre group who worship the Ponies as living incarnations of the old Slavic Pantheon (for anyone wanting to do research, the main god of the Pantheon - Perun - was a god of Horses among other things). They're easily the most advanced block, but have gotten there with some rather questionable approaches to Science. It also has a pretty huge black market, which sometimes trades in pony pieces from Hooves to Hair to even raw Alicorn (no, not ground up Celestia - it's the substance a Unicorn's horn is made from).
    The Equestrian Alliance (Orange) - Taking up Canada, and recently expanding into Nova Scotia and several others, the Equestrian Alliance is a Block entirely populated by Ponies...that make the FHL look like a kitty in comparison. The Equestrian Alliance sees the Humans as crude, boorish vermin, and are just as hell bent on exterminating them and clearing the way for Pony kind. Also to share more fun facts, this group was created on the suggestion of Riptide - originally, Canada was going to be an FHL aligned nation.
    The Changeling Wastes (aka Xillith, Yellow) - The Changelings are some of the most brutally effective conquerors in the fiction, having wiped out Central America overnight (with most of the survivors from those nations migrating north and settling in the FHL). For the time being though, they've mostly been idling around since the various Hive Queens are trying to decide on what to do. Also, unlike the Equestrian Alliance, the Changelings mostly kept the Humans alive in Cocoons, and use their love generated to feed themselves, Matrix style. They're also dab hands at Organic Technology, and are capable of breeding specific drones for specific tasks.
    The Crystal Federation (Purple) - The youngest and most recently introduced Block, the Crystal Federation is a place to live that isn't a complete hellhole. In fact, Princess Cadence has mostly been pumping the money into public happiness and well being. So much so that trivial things like a Military were virtually non existent until Shining Armour showed up. As a block, they're barely ahead of the FHL technology wise, and have one of the most rag-tag armies of the setting. They're also looking at being invaded by either the FHL or the Equestrian Alliance very soon, especially since the Alliance annexed Nova Scotia (which was in talks to join the Crystal Federation when the Alliance invaded).
    The Asian Dynasties (Brown) - The Asian Dynasties are a heavily militarised "Block" that consists of the fiefdoms of various warlords. However, unlike the FHL (whom they regard as backwards and barbaric), the Dynasties borrow more from "Proud Warrior Race Guy". Given that Asia became a hellhole of a place to live however, this has put them at odds with the Neo Paradigm (whom they tried and failed to invade once).
    The Protectorate of Atlantia (Teal, may be difficult to see on the map) - The Protectorate of Atlantia is a well, Protectorate of the Human-Equestrian Commonwealth. Occupying the Mediterranean Islands (such as Cyprus, Malta etc), the Atlantians are primarily concerned with Commerce and Trade, and have a rather impressive Navy. They also use Sea Ponies - a battleship sized sub-species of Pony known for their docile if curious nature.
    "Giant Country" (Pink) - This last one isn't recognised as a Block, but much like the Pegasi Kingdoms and the Lunar Republic, we're going to acknowledge it here. Madagascar and several other small Pan-African islands basically got turned into Monster Island for housing larger Pony sub species, Dragons and anyone (or thing) else deemed too big and too monstrous to live in a Block peacefully. However occasionally, the rule of Queen Sovereign tends to be ignored, and these giants migrate out into other blocks...

    In addition, there are two smaller groups not present on the map whom we regard as being official entities, but are neither recognised as Blocks nor represented on the map accurately. They are -
    The Pegasi Kingdoms used to be the floating cloud cities of Cloudsdale, Stratopolis, Aasgard and various others. However when The Merging happened, the Cities decided that it would be for the best if they didn't swear an allegiance to any single ruler (seeing as it would only make the Humans fear them more), and mainly float around, bringing their weather services where requested. The Pegasi Kingdoms have an Ambassador in almost every block that negotiates the kind of weather the Pegasi will bring to that block. While this ability brings gentle sunshine and rain, it can also bring thunderstorms and hurricanes, making them rather uneasily accepted by Humans (who y'know, preferred the old way things worked).
    The Lunar Republic was founded after the Lunar War (in shorthand, our interpretation of the (original) Nightmare Moon arc). Princess Luna resides here, though contrary to popular opinion the Colony is NOT named after her, nor does Luna have sole power (instead, she acts as an Advisor for the Lunar Senate - which consists primarily of exactly two Humans, two Scions, two Cyborgs, two Unicorns, two Pegasi and two Earth Ponies - one male and one female from each). Luna tends to have a mixed reaction, but she is winning over the rather rag-tag bunch of Colonists (and we mean rag tag - there are a pair of Changelings that live on the moon!) slowly.

    And that's everything so far. Future plans would have gone into more detail about the other blocks (I would like to do the Middle East or Africa next - AUTOMATONS ASSEMBLE!), mainly so we could keep players around with new content - hopefully without breaking the game.
     
    This leads us onto...
     

    Mechanics


     
    Equestrian Earth wasn't just planned as a regular Role Playing setting, but was designed to work with Virtual Dice, thus making it the first time I've written a "Pen & Paper RPG", in spite of having practised writing for Tabletop Wargames beforehand. I found the process not all that different.
     
    However, it was acknowledged early on that MLP does not exactly translate over to traditional D&D Adventuring well...so we decided that Mechanics would primarily focus on two areas - Combat for the more traditionally D&D minded people (with things like Strength, Dexterity and Will), but there was also an equally big empthesis on Puzzle Solving (with things like Charisma, Intelligence and Harmony), meaning a savvy enough player never needed to use a gun as an option (and most Ponies wouldn't be able to use firearms anyway without assistance - it's not designed for your physiology!).
     
    The Harmony Statistic in particular was created to fill some of this - if a person's Charisma is how much of a presence they radiate, then Harmony is their disposition (a low score would result in a rather boorish individual, a higher score would result in a much more social person). It meant quite literally, you could talk your way out of a problem in most situations.
     
    And then there were the Races. We chose to focus on Six to begin with -
    Humans, who depend mostly on their puzzle solving skills but are dab hands at Combat when pressed into it, too.
    Scions, the remnants of a Psychic Super Soldier program. Naturally, they have Psychic Powers to help them either in Combat or to Solve puzzles (or both, depending on how creative the person playing the Scion is and his powerset).
    Cyborgs, who are automatically badass because Cyborgs. Work in a similar fashion to Humans, but they can be further customised into any number of roles with the right implants and cyborg limbs. They're also freaking Cyborgs, so therefore awesome.
    Earth Ponies, who by nature are the biggest and strongest of the races, but really have virtually little grasp of Fancy Mathematics.
    Pegasi, the Fragile Speedsters of the classes whom can also manipulate the Weather (yes, we would have included rules for Thunderstorms and the like!).
    Unicorns, arguably the most versatile thanks to their magic. However, don't put him or her into a boxing match with the Iron Liberator if you know what is good for you.

    And from there, the mechanics slowly spun themselves out. As a quick example, it was decided early on that Scions would have a set Talent Tree that would steadily unlock useful powers as the Scion went, while the Unicorns had to work to earn their magic, from scavenging scrolls to intensive study under a tutor. Using Psychic Powers or Magic was dependant on a person's ESP or Mana respectively.
     
    If your worried about your Dragon/Griffon/Zebra/Changeling/Smooze OC, plans were set up to introduce them later. The only race we agreed would be non-playable would be the Alicorns (outside of set NPC's like Celestia, Cadence and Luna) as they were deemed to be complete game breakers (I mean they know Magic, can fly AND are Godzilla levels of strong). Sea Ponies were also planned as Playable Characters, but they were too cumbersome to work with.
     
    In addition, rather than Classes we settled on Traits. These represented skills and unique abilities your character possessed, from Job Training to Personality to anything in-between. Some of these however couldn't be taken with each other (for example, you couldn't take both Powered Armour Training and Mechanoid Training - they're both very complex and delicate pieces of equipment!), and you were limited to three points (and Traits could cost 1,2 or even 3 points, and some even more than that), but you could generate more Points by taking flaws for your character. You would also get points when you levelled up, but some skills (usually those pertaining to character quirks) would be locked off by then (as would flaws).
     

    Characters & Continuity


     
    Equestrian Earth carries over most of the Characters you know and love. However, Equestrian Earth does not following established continuity. The Continuity behind My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic was deemed to be way too open to interpretation and head canon to make it a reliable source (and most of what is accepted Canon is actually Fanon content, such as the incorrect interpretations of Alicorn and Tartarus), contrary to some people's opinion. That, and it allowed for a lot more creative freedom - though when we kept a Canonical Character, we tried to keep it as close to the Canon version as possible, but we did take a new spin on it when we had an opportunity.
     
    To point out some examples -
    Twilight Sparkle is a wandering Scholar, sent by Celestia to study and observe Humans and report back to Celestia so she can find out the best way to incorporate them. No she is not an Alicorn.
    Princess Celestia has mainly had her rule deconstructed, brutally in some cases. To most people, Celestia's behaviour would come off as the actions of a tyrant, and her actions are typically not popular with Humans as a whole, especially since she's trying to unite the blocks under her own rule. Contrary to popular opinion, Celestia in truth has virtually no idea how to deal with Humans, and is mainly clinging to her old ways because it's what she knows how to do.
    AppleJack, AppleBloom and Big Macintosh are infact immigrants from the FHL's stock of Slave Ponies (Granny Smith was too old and frail to make the trip, so she stayed behind with their biological parents), who would later be adopted by Human parents - a pair of Apple Farmers actually. Since then, they've pretty much become the Commonwealth's breadbasket, supplying the Pony population with food...but due to their background, the three are also discriminated by Ponies and Humans alike when something bad happens.
    Shining Armour may or may not be Twilight's Brother (we've been kinda if, but and maybe about it - especially since Twilight was born on Human soil in the timeline). However, he was a Pro-Human and very popular member of the Equestrian Knights (a military organisation that replaced the Canterlot Royal Guard), before leaving the Commonwealth to go and work in the Crystal Federation as Princess Cadence's Military Advisor. Shining has feelings for Cadence (something the entire Federation has noticed), but isn't sure how to approach Cadence about them.
    Chrysalis is not the de facto leader of the Changelings anymore, but is definitely one of the more militant Hive Queens. Only the ambitions of some of the other Queens have prevented her from invading wholesale into their neighbours.

    And then of course, there are all the new Characters who are (admittedly) barely developed in any sense of the word, due to world building. However, there are some that are outlined -
    Queen Metamorpho is Chrysalis's main rival. She's more of a Chessmaster than Chrysalis is, preferring long and complex plans rather than aggressive action and is the one queen keeping Chrysalis in check. In shorthand, she is Changeling Tarantulas.
    Queen Sovereign is the ruler of Giant Country (meaning she isn't a Changeling), an original creation of Riptides, AND the biggest damned Pony in existence at a mammoth 3000ft tall (I refer you to our earlier statement to bear in mind Pony Scaling conversion). The yellow Earth Pony has a very relaxed approach to Politics and Foreign Relations (with many even doubting her existence), but woe betide what will happen if you cross her or her "citizens".
    Colonel Silas Crosby is a Human (yay!) who is totally not Brony Jim Raynor. The Colonel is the leader of a growing resistance against the current President of the FHL, and is surprisingly Pro-Pony - to the point where his dismissal from the FHL armed services revolved around an affair with one of the Slave Ponies, an Earth Pony mare named Long Haul.
    Governor Tiberius is the current Land Governor of the Protectorate of Atlantia. He was a former Italian Naval Captain at the time of the Merging, making him one of the oldest Humans still around. In spite of his background, he actually is on very good terms with the Sea Ponies, especially his fellow Sea Governor, the Sea Pony Splasher.


    Why it didn't take off


     
    Mainly because of the Mechanics. It wasn't exactly feasible or viable to use an Online Dice Roller (especially one that links Dice Rolls) mainly because they were exceptionally rare, and also because people could very easily cheat and manipulate rolls, thus making the point entirely moot.
     
    As usual with Collab Work, I was also pulling 90% of the work on things. A lot of this stuff I'm going to have to say you'll need to treat vaguely, especially when we're talking about the Asian Dynasties, Equestrian Alliance and even some characters like Queen Sovereign - these are typically Riptide's creations, and as such I'm not really allowed to write for them.
     
    And then of course there's Minion, who hasn't turned in ANYTHING, in spite of his (accepted) suggestion of Mercenaries, Private Military Contractors and the like (WE NEED EXAMPLES!).
     
    Oh, and then as discussed previously, I'm pretty sure most of the audience we'd have gotten would have been the sort of people I'd disembowel on contact, in spite of us going above and out of our way to do as much de-fetishising as possible (yes, this includes the Xenophilliac pairings - they're more compared to the "issue" of gay marrage in the modern world).
     
    AND THEN much like everything else, turned out it shared it's name with another Project in the Brony Community, which I was completely unaware of, meaning the whole Tiberian Eclipse fiasco repeated itself over. We were also unable to come up with a suitable change of name (if your going to suggest Equestrian Rim, GET OUT)
     
    But then, such is the way of Fanwork, yes?
     
    Anyways, that's it for this week. Next week I'll be picking something else to talk about. Here's Disco Onibaba to entertain you in the meantime.
     

     
    Until then, I have been your GABEN...and I'm gonna go watch out for Giant Enemy Crabs.
     

    Further Reading


    Timeline of Events - Bear in mind, some of this stuff has been retconned, with the Profiles linked in above being more up to date versions of information.
    Major Characters, Part One - An incomplete list of some of the major NPC's we at least had concepts for. No, a Part Two was never created.
    Giants - An Equestrian Traveller's Guide - While written with "Show Canon" in mind, many of these may or may not have popped up in EE as well.

  5. Gabriel Smith
    Ladies and Gentlemen, it's that time of year again. Nottingham's turned into Miami, resulting in an invasion of Wandering Spiders. So naturally, my brain is operating a lot slower and even less stable than it was previously.
     
    Moving on, after the Drama of last week, I felt we should sit down and review something again. Though in this case, this is more of a first impressions video, since the show is currently on a Mid Season hiatus (because America - if Egypt is the source of all evil, then America is the source of every bad idea ever).
     
    That being said, Max Steel. Let the Nostalgia flow.
     
    First, a little background - the original Max Steel was a early 2000 era show based on the Mattel action figures of the same name (who were the spiritual successors of their "Big Jim" line. This is even referenced in both shows, with "Jim McGrath" being the father of the Protagonist). It was also a Gregg Wiseman show.
     
    Yes, THAT Gregg Wiseman.
     

     

    If this isn't a memory jogger, I'm not sure what else is short of sitting your brain next to an electric chair.


     
    To give a short hand summary and review, the original Max Steel focused on the exploits of Josh McGrath, a nineteen year old professional athlete who thanks to an incident involving a killer cyborg, nanomachine gunk and an energy infusion gained superpowers, and thus became Max Steel - a secret agent working for N-TEK, a counter intelligence agency his adoptive father is in charge of.
    The show could be summed up as "smart people sometimes do stupid things". In a more sparse bullet pointing however:
    The first season is the ONLY season I'd strongly recommend people watch, with the Wisemann magic on full display.
    The second season is watchable, but I don't consider it up to the standards of the first season. It didn't help that a lot of bad habits (such as disappearing cast members, who were written out without an adequate explanation) started to surface here.
    The third...should be avoided at all costs. Really.It probably goes without saying that only the first season made it to DVD. The second and third Seasons have only been commercially released on Sony's own Crackle network.

    However, given Max Steel is very much merch driven, I am inclined to think that the original's seasonal rot was not a result of Wisemann having too much power or anything of the sort, but rather executive meddling on the half of Mattel. It didn't help that the original show went through three different animation studios during it's run - the first season was made by Netter Digital (whom I know nothing about), the second was made by Foundation Imaging (of Godzilla and Roughnecks: Starship Troopers Chronicles fame) and the third was made by...Mainframe Entertainment?
     
    Yes, THAT Mainframe Entertainment. Oh we fell of our rocker since ReBoot, Beast Wars and Shadow Raiders, huh?
     
    Mainframe would continue to animate the show even after the TV Series officially finished, which resulted in seven TV Movies and 37 "Turbo Missions" (later retitled "N-TEK Adventures") - a series of short, one minute episodes which were made solely to keep Max's presence alive. If you are wondering why you've never seen any of them, there is a reason - both the TV Movies and Turbo Missions were only broadcast in Latin America (So don't even try looking for an English Dub).
     
    This means that the new 2013 show - which we're looking at today - is the first commercial outing for the character in thirteen years if you're not from Latin America.
     
    Which is probably going to present some confusing aspects for people like me, who were big fans of the original show when it first aired. That is, if you can survive the fact they changed everything.
     
    And I mean EVERYTHING.
     
    The new Max Steel is pretty much set up to show it off as "not your granddaddy's Max Steel". Instead of the premise above, we now follow 16 year old Maxwell "Max" McGrath, who has just moved into Copper Canyon with his mother, Molly. Unfortunately for Max, things get a whole lot crazier when various organisations take note of the fact he's one of the few people capable of naturally generating and controlling Tachyon Unlimited Radiant Bio-Optimized (or TURBO) energy (I wish I was making that Acronym up). After being taken in by N-TEK (one such organisation, founded by his father Jim McGrath and currently ran by Commander Forge Ferris, Max's Uncle and a friend of his late father's), Max shortly meets up with Steel - a tiny sentient AI about the size of a phone who can link with Max to harness his energy and use it to fight crime and what have you.
     
    ...If you're seeing the similarity between this and another show, you're not the only one. It's very clear that this "Reboot" is aimed at the Ben 10/Generator Rex crowd, and the show does little to hide it. While I can't make too many comparisons having not seen either show (and having no desire too after seeing Man of Action's episodes they wrote for Avengers: Earth's Mightiest Heroes) so correct me if I am wrong, but doesn't the Omnitrix - the little gizmo Ben uses to transform into his alien forms - work on a similar principle?
     
    To elaborate a little on that previous point, in the older show Max's probes were controlled with a little wrist device that allowed him to "Go Turbo", gaining boosts to his strength and agility for short periods, had a cloaking mode that wouldn't look too out of place with Prophet, Alcatraz or Nomad ("Stealth Mode"), enhanced hearing (which did not require any energy) and could change his appearance (used to his advantage to toggle between "Josh McGrath" and "Max Steel"). To contrast, Max...uses Steel to turn into various different armoured forms (a Strength Mode, a Flight Mode, a Scuba Mode and a Speed Mode have all been used so far) and can project holographic clothing (though one must wonder what material is helmet is made from, since it provides as much protection as a non holographic helmet).
     
    If the newer version doesn't sound like the Omnitrix or what have you, then I don't know what does.
     
    Before we go on,
    . Listen closely. 
    ...Yes, that is freaking Shining Armour playing Max. His buddy Steel may also be the same voice actor as Claptrap.
     
    ...Ladies and Gentlemen, this is not Max Steel. This is The Hilarious Misadventures of Shining Armour and Claptrap, and I will now refer to them as such (it doesn't help that yes, Max likes surfing and Chilli Dogs, as confirmed by a conversation between him and Steel. Oh Friendship is Witchcraft...).
     


    You have seen this, and now you cannot unsee it! Nor can you unhear it!


     
    Now I can see why some of these changes were made. The "Going Turbo" business was perceived by some to be a metaphor for steroid and illegal substance use, at a time when such practices was a constant public issue, among other things (in personal opinion, if you look hard enough into anything you see what you want to see, so this line of argument is a little weak).
     
    However, some of the changes are very, very strange. Most of the villains so far (specifically Elementor, Extroyer and Toxzon) all originate in the TV Movies, though their backstories have been altered (Elementor for example is now four individual beings, rather than one superpowered being who can morph into different elemental forms), and thus unless you saw those movies (and your an old time viewer like me), it's going to leave your head scratching your post. However, some information leaking in suggests the return of Dragonelle, Bio-Constrictor and Electrix from the original show (how concrete this is is open to debate), and Miles (formerly John) Dredd (please note that John has the correct spelling of Dread as his last name) is around...
     
    ...Despite Mattel stating that the show "still retain the name, but feature different characters, villains, and an entirely new storyline". If that's the case, why bring Dread back at all? I know this guy is a totally different Dread (John Dread was more of a Chessmaster, while this Dredd appears to be more of a straight up supervillian), but still double standards much? If we're reintroducing some of the classic villains, then where are Psycho and Vitriol in all this? Is Psycho off auditioning for the role of the T-800 or something?
     

     
     

    "Ready for my close up, Mister Cameroon."


     
    While we're on the subject of what doesn't work - the soundtrack can't make up its mind if it wants to be Dubstep or Drum & Bass. It's horrendous to listen too, and while it may not incite the same excruciating physical and psychological pain and agony like the songs in My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic does, we may have a contender strong enough to knock that horse off its throne as Worst Soundtrack.
    It's not all bad though. I really like the rebooted N-TEK, even if their uniforms look like a Global Agenda team who all decided to play Poison Medic that day. They're shown many times to be just as competent (if not moreso) than Shining Armour, in a genre that would usually delegate such an organisation to being almost entirely ineffectual outside of Shining Armour and Claptrap. There's also significant mystery to keep watching the show...meaning that the side characters effectively outact Shining Armour and Claptrap. Heck, Commander Ferris even gets some of the best lines, and is a sufficient enough badass to make me wish his voice was that of the original Command & Conquer Commando (I should call him "Frank").
     
    Also I found the episode "Supermania" to be mildly amusing. Then I shoot myself in the foot as it's the only time the Humor really worked and something I'd expect out of a better show (i.e: Reboot comes to mind almost immediately)
     
    Overall, the show is...safe. Average. Run O' the Mill. Cookie Cutter (though I wouldn't say "Designed by Committee - see Avengers Assemble for that). And I think that's it's biggest problem right now. It also represents one of the biggest problems in media today - "modern standards". The same modern standards that mean only GRIMDARK Superman is profitable, where show legacies are repeatedly urinated on by writers who simply don't give a damn, and which leaves me with one simple question...
     
    ...What exactly is it doing differently from Ben 10?
     
    Until The Hilarious Misadventures of Shining Armour and Claptrap can make up its mind, I have been your GABEN, and I will see you next time.
  6. Gabriel Smith
    So I'm terribly sorry about all this (assuming anyone reads these), but the blog I promised last week has had to be set asides for the time being. Why? Because my radar positively exploded over a pretty damned big news story - the Xbox One has recended it's Digital Rights Management (DRM) policies. Hooray, right?
     
    Right?
     
    Well, call me hard pressed, but I'm not exactly yaying along with everyone else.
     
    Before we get rolling with that though, I should take a few moments to recap the story so far for anyone late to the party - Microsoft's XBox One is the newest ieteration of the XBox series of Consoles. Originally, the console drew fire from it's revel for promoting Movies & TV over Games, then at E3 with a rather disasterous conferance where they were utterly crushed by Sony's Playstation 4 conferance, topped off with an infamous video on how the PS4 uses game sharing. Even after the conferance, the Humiliation Conga continued with Microsoft doing some really daft things, such as only exporting to a grand total of twenty one countries (of which Poland was excluded - a big deal as one of the XBox One's launch titles, Witcher III, which had Polish developers meant that they couldn't play their own game in their home country), which lead to Microsoft dropping the following:
    The original XBox One was supposed to "Phone Home" to Microsoft once every twenty four hours (for periods of up to an hour) as a "disk check" to make sure that you didn't have any Used Games on your system. This feature has now been cut.
    A paywall for Used Games was also rumored. This has kinda sorta been cut.
    The Aforementioned country locking has also been removed.

    However, I don't think this is as big a victory as people make it out to be.
     
    For starters, the XBox One still utilises a Cloud based storage system. This means that the Console still requires an Internet Connection in order to properly function. This in turn makes the removal of the whole "Phoning Home" mechanic pointless. It also means that Microsoft can at any time reinstate their policies regarding DRM software with the flick of a switch, without telling you. Potentially speaking, this system allows Microsoft to sneak though a lot of nasty, horrible software and malware.
     
    Also in case anyone forgets, the Playstation 3 was a repeated target of hacking and other E-Crimes, and was made all the more vulnerable to it because of it's internet based services, no matter how many firmware updates were downloaded onto your machine. I can easily forsee the XBox One having a similair issue.
     
    The other big one is the Kinect. Depending on the stories you read, the new model Kinect can read things like muscle structure, wrist rotation and heart rate. Biometric data is extremely valuable and highly priced information - and Microsoft is going to have access to it via the Kinect sensor, which thanks to the Internet Connection the XBox One requires for reasons mentioned above...you can see where this is going, right?
     
    This isn't to say that the Playstation 4 is going to be any better - do not forget that Sony is capable of (and has been guilty of) some very anti-consumer related practices with the Playstation 3, however right now they pale in comparison to the malevolant evil that the XBox One represents.
     
    Yes, it is entirely likely that the above is conspricy theory balderdash...however, it's not far removed from what is a very real possibility. It is entirely likely Microsoft could have done this just so the console would sell and make a short term profit - and then snag the consumers with DRM later.
     
    Until then, I have been your GABEN. Thank you for reading.
     
    PS: For anyone wondering how and why PC can get away with it, here's the answer that will make all your dreams come true.
  7. Gabriel Smith
    Giant Robots. You dig giant robots. I dig giant robots. We dig giant robots. Chicks dig giant robots. Seriously, who doesn’t love Giant Robots?
     
    With that in mind, Slave Zero was an action game released at the turn of the Millennium by Infrogames, and developed by a Studio named Accolade – the original creators of the Star Control games if anyone is interested.
     
    As you boot up the game, the first thing you’ll notice is that Slave Zero is extremely light on story. Set in an undetermined number of years in the future, the Asian Conglomerate is being ruled over by a malevolent hammy dictator with one of the most hilarious hairstyles I’ve ever seen named the Sovereign Khan (or SovKhan as the game insists on referring to him). The SovKhan’s latest evil plot however involves an idea he got after having fun with his own Sea Monkeys – a “Grow your own Giant Robot” scheme, whose by-products are referred to as “Slaves” – 60ft tall Biomechanical Creatures bent to the SovKhan’s bidding.
     
    However, the resistance opposing the SovKhan – the Guardians – manage to capture a prototype Slave and mind meld their pilot – a chap referred to ingame as Chen – to operate it. Now it is up to “Slave Zero” to put a stop to the SovKhan’s plans, and ultimately defeat the SovKhan once and for all.
     
    OR DIE TRYING.
     
    The plot is overly cliché, and really doesn’t bear much thinking about. Do not expect Character arcs. Do not expect the Hero’s morality to be challenged. Do not expect the SovKhan to get a freaking haircut.
     

     

    BRUSH HIM!


     
    So, what is the gameplay like? Well for starters, don’t pick up this game solely because you like Giant Robots. Despite being able to go all King Kong on an urban metropolis being a heavily touted feature, the game really doesn’t live up to this. There are little things, like being able to demolish most of the buildings in the level, the little cars and people scurrying around and being able to pick up and throw objects (usually Poles – and this was at least 3 years before War of the Monsters did this, FYI), the game really doesn’t do a whole lot to emphasise this.
     
    However, as an Action Game? It fares pretty damned well, especially by modern standards.
     
    Slave is pretty damned maneuverable (in spite of the limited controls), able to dodge and weave his way through the enemies with ease once you get a handle on things. Platforming is relatively easy in this game, and the controls handle well.
     
    The weapons are also a pretty well thought out addition. Slave can only carry three weapons at a time, but unlike Halo, Slave can only carry one of each damage category.

    Gun weapons fire conventional bullets. These weapons have the highest Ammunition capacity, and will easily scythe their way through the smaller, weaker Robots. At the top tier of the Gun weapons, you gain an XBAWKZ HUEG SOD OFF ARTILLERY CANNON that is awesome and fun to use.
    Energy weapons have slightly less ammunition, and higher tier weapons will rapidly eat though the supply. However, they deal far more damage than Gun weapons, so are best used for the bigger, tougher robots. At the top tier, you gain a Plasma Stream Ejector – a Plasma Powered Lightning Gun in other words.
    Missile Weapons have the least amount of ammunition, but may be your most devastating weapons – provided they hit the target. Missile weapons perform pretty well at boss fights, but you may not be using them that often compared to the other two options. At the top tier, you gain a rocket launcher that can lock onto and attack multiple targets at once.

    Not that the other weapons in previous tiers are to be discounted – Chainguns, Plasma Shotguns and Cluster Missile launchers are also fun to play with. Slave Zero manages to get the joyous feeling you should have when you acquire a new tier for one of your weapons.
     
    In addition, Slave can also perform a Melee attack by running up to Point Blank with the enemy and hitting them with Primary Attack. It is however an unreliable and inefficient method of attack. He can also use a Stomp attack to clear out lesser enemies, but this is rather ineffectual against the other Giant Robots (contrary to what the opening cutscene will tell you, it will take up to two or three stomps to demolish even a low tier Robot).
     
    Enemy variety is also rather nice and varied – there are little tanks and troops that’ll try to shoot you, as well as the other Giant Robots, who come in pretty varied flavors – flying robots, shielded robots, bruiser robots with annoying knockback lasers, spider bots...
     
    ...And then there are the Boss Fights. Slave Zero’s boss fights are pretty damn inventive as Boss Fights go. As a couple of examples, Sanguinar (the second boss of the game) is set against a rapidly rising tide of sewer water. Slave has to keep moving to reach higher levels before the Water drowns him, while fighting the boss and his annoying plasma/missile spam. Regulus Prime is another one that is pretty damn fun – the battle takes place on four buildings, which the boss uses for cover. At some points however, he will destroy the building your standing on – can you defeat him before all the Buildings are demolished?
     

     

    Sanguinar. You will HATE this boss fight the first several times.


     
    However, it does have some rather big problems.
     
    I was running this on my PC. It’s a mid-level gaming rig – it can run Crysis 2 on Extreme at a steady clip. However, it has framerate issues with Slave Zero, even after setting compatibility mode and installing a fix designed to make it compatible with modern operating systems (my PC also uses a Glide Emulator for running old PC games). It has even at times crashed to desktop when Slave so much as moves. The Dreamcast version reportedly has similar problems, which suggest the engine was not well optimised.
     
    In addition, the levels themselves while designed well and open have clipping problems. I’ve lost count of how many times I’ve been able to see outside of the map, or had Slave die because he accidently walked into a clipped area.
     
    The game also has very little replay value. There is a Multiplayer functionality, but as one would expect good luck finding a game. As you also might imagine, the game has no achievement system, and it is also rather short. You can probably beat the game on Normal within 8 to 10 hours, tops.
     
    In conclusion: If you can put up with the excuse plot, graphical glitches and frame rate drops, Slave Zero comes recommended for those seeking something different. It’s lack of replay value and aforementioned graphical and game related issues however give it a swollen asterisk next to that.
    Overall though, Slave Zero radiates very strongly as a “Like” on the Like-O-Meter.
     
    And next week, a fun editorial! And as always, your clue...
     

     
    ...Until then, I have been your GABEN.
  8. Gabriel Smith

    <BLOG ONLINE>

    By Gabriel Smith,

    So...Hi, I guess. My name is Gabriel Smith.
     
    I have had previous experience running a small blog nobody read - "The Eccentric World of Sir Shockwave" back a few years ago on That Guy With The Glasses. For a time, things were good - each and every Wednesday without fail, I managed to publish a new Review or Editorial. On what you might ask?
     
    Anything I could find I considered worthy of talking about.
     
    As such, I am going to set forth the following promises and rules, in addition to the ones that usually govern the Blogs.

    I will update at least once a week, with Special Blogs for breaking stories and news announcements.
    I promise to give you my undivided opinion.
    As such, unless otherwise stated everything written is Opinion based. As such, expect copious amounts of Heresy.
    I do reviews and opinion articles, which can be divided into roughly three groups - Music, Video Games and Animation. Editorials may have a further series of Categories.
    I will say it here and now - I DO NOT TAKE REQUESTS. This is especially true if they are coming from a single loud, obnoxious individual. I and I alone will decide what goes on in the Blog.

    With so many things I've wanted to talk about recently, where would we start? Well, hopefully this might provide a clue of what I intend to do first:
     

     
    Incidentally, must find a way to make pictures smaller.
     
    Until next time, I have been your GABEN. Thank you for reading this short and sparse introduction.
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