Let me try this :
I'm not entirely sure which style you're trying to draw it but I'm getting a a slash between regular cartoon style and anime/manga? Either way, since twilight is a female she'll need some curves. The shape of her upper body is way too much like that of a square, it would start out a bit broader, get narrow around the waste and then expand again for her hips. Secondly : the wrinkles, clothes have a lot of them. Of course, since it's not realistic art so you don't have to draw them all but still a few are needed. The cloth will hit the hip as it gets broader so there will definitely be a wrinkle there.
Then we get to the breasts, that's not the way they would show in a shirt. I suggest just giving it a wrinkle right under the chest to indicate them. If she wears a really tight skirt and it's not front side, you might see a little bit more of the round shape.
Next up, the head isn't correctly linked to the body and the neck is too small. Even when standing like that, there should be a slight curve going downwards which connects the end of the neck and the shoulders.
The legs are quite odd too. If you would connect them to the body like that, the gap between her thighs would be too wide. I don't know how you draw, but definitely draw the body without the clothes first.
Lastly the head : the eyes are indeed a bit strange, it's a bit like she's cross-eyed. It's a good thing you know eyes/ears are on the same level though! Good job! The hair is okay but could use a bit more detail to make it look nicer.
I know this might seem as a lot of negative points but don't give up! Just keep on trying and progress will start to show.