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During my stay with @Ice Princess Silky <3 we had plenty discussions that were philosophical in their nature. Some of them I wish to share here as these thoughts are inspiring to me. So today I'd like to talk about the biggest fear of many - vulnerability.
As the title suggests - I see it as a strength and blessing humanity has. The truth is, many experiences that are positive and dear to us, whether it's love, going on a literal roller-coaster or simply making difficult decisions that pay off has its impact only, because we are taking risks.
Love? We place our emotional safety in hands of another. We allow ourselves to be in a position, where another person CAN hurt us if they want to. Only we trust them not to do it and do the opposite instead. Without such vulnerability we simply won't experience and embrace love fully. Something will be amiss, because of walls we raise to ensure our safety.
Roller-coasters? Our instincts will always associate being upside down, going down in a high speed and other adrenaline-inducing aspects of it as danger. Take that instinct away and you will realize that roller-coasters become a hollow experience. Where's the thrill and excitement when instincts no longer work and adrenaline doesn't go into our system? It will be like chilling in a lounge all of sudden as logically we KNOW we are safe - logic won't replace what instinct does.
Difficult decisions? They literally don't exist if there's nothing to lose. One can't say you made a hard decision if there wasn't a possibility of losing something in the process.
There are many similar things to bring up, even friendships. In each case, to unlock those most intense feelings of accomplishment and happiness, our vulnerability has to play some part in the process.
I really like the way lack of vulnerability was described in DLC for Witcher 3 - Heart of Stone. There, Olgierd Von Everec was given exactly that. A demon, in this case individual known as Gaunter O'Dimm offered him immortality and helping him out of his immense debt. Of course it came at a price (his soul as well as life of one he loves, in this case, his brother), but that's not important in this case.
Initially everything was beautiful. He was able to marry and live a very happy life with his wife, Iris. He got all he wanted and his newfound immortality allowed him to create comfortable, prosperous and happy life for himself and his wife.
That didn't last for long however. Since risk was essentially erased from his very existence his emotions started to fade too. Nothing made him happy or excited. His possessions became empty to him and his love for his wife started dying out. He knew what was happening, but couldn't help it. Life lost its meaning in its entirety and Olgierd kept trying to do more and more extreme things just to feel any thrill. It never yielded any results to him - one simply won't feel the thrill if one is always perfectly safe.
And that's when he started losing everything. He left his wife, seeing how unhappy he's making her. He left her entire estate, but she never left the manor again, passing away from heartbreak eventually. His current manor was eventually burned down, but he was unable to care about that. The only thing that caused any emotional reaction in him was imminent return of Gaunter O'Dimm, who was very eager to settle the debt and take his soul away. The only time Olgierd Von Everec felt anything was in this one, last thing that left him vulnerable. Olgierd actually missed being mortal. He missed it, because that's when his life had a meaning. Death couldn't claim him so it took everything else away from him instead.
Example written above may be from fantasy genre, but if you play video games for example, try to launch a game on hardest difficulty level with god mode on and see how beating even a single level feels. Then play it without any cheat codes on difficulty level that allows you to progress, but still poses certain challenge and notice how drastically different it feels.
I have found happiness with my special somepony, because I am vulnerable towards her. Because I trust her enough to be vulnerable. If I blocked myself off I would also block off that part of myself which makes every moment we spend together so wonderful.
I had my share of risky decisions in my life. Quitting my first college, for example. That was one of the hardest decisions I've ever made. Eventually I returned to a different college and graduated there, becoming Magister Engineer. That decision would not have the same impact on my life if I knew from the start that I'll be okay.
What's the point of me writing all that? The point is - vulnerability is a beautiful thing for us to have. I believe that quality of life in many cases improves a lot when we allow ourselves to be vulnerable around those we trust as well as when we step out of our comfort zone and try new things. Even me making an account here was something I wouldn't have done if I just remained in my shell. So maybe next time you feel like something is scary, because it feels new and outside of what you got used to - give it a shot anyway Who knows what great things may come from such a decision!
Also here's a hug for all those who managed to read all the way to the end (don't worry, if you did not, you get it anyway! )
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