I actually didn't realize how much fat I had, and I'm starting to think my frame is skinnier than I thought. I'm eating about half of what I was eating before, and sometimes even that's too much. I never realized how big restaurants and food companies make their portions, it's huge, and I'm happy I'm getting rid of this stuff.
I'm not cheating on this until I'm where I want to be. At all. Period. And, yeah, my diet involves fasting (usually about 18 hours). I didn't realize how content I was either, and now I know hunger, and I kind of like it.
Over the winter I think I got up to 180lbs, then went to 175 consistently (I got sick). Now I'm at 169lbs and counting (havn't even been doing this for a week). I wanna jump higher and run faster, and I'm gonna do that now.
I've been thinking about the new episode, a lot. Usually I'm training or doing something else, but the weather tanked today and it sucked my motivation. It's probably my favorite episode of the season, maybe in my top 5 for the entire show. It... makes me kind of sad though.
I mean, I know those feelings. I know the headache and the tears of not being able to get something, even though you need it, and you hate it. You get so angry and combative and pessimistic, even though you're not being pessimistic because you know it's true.
It doesn't matter how talented you are at the actual skill, people like Twilight will always be the competitors because they have a high GPA. And it blows. The only thing discouraging me from being a fighter pilot is the fact that there are a lot of tests, and the barley have anything to do with flying. To be honest, everything else is useless.
I thought about that, too. I googled a ton of stuff about what I had to do, and I'm really just more confused. I do know that I'm getting a bachelor's degree in aviation, and that I'm gonna start working to save money for flight lessons. I also know that I want to be a fighter pilot, no matter what. I'm gonna get it, and I'm gonna take it as it comes, because I can't do anything else.
