Nightmare Bleck

I'm new around here, so if this is the wrong place for a thread like this, please pardon me. Normally, I prefer not to call myself a "brony", but for lack of a better term, I am a closet brony. I have been so for about 2 or 3 years now. And lately, it's getting under my skin. With season 4 finally out, my interest in the show and fandom, which had been dying, is ignited once more. Thus, also is my insecurity about it. It's not that I'm really "macho" or anything; it's simply that I'm very insecure and have a lot of social anxiety, and I know for a fact that if I were to admit to liking this show, I would probably also have to explain WHY. And of course that would lead to awkwardness and the overwhelming sensation of being silently (or maybe not-so-silently) judged for it. It would just be horrible. Now, you think that I simply do not need to go announcing it to everyone. Just don't bring it up unless asked. However, as the fool that I am, I left a dirty trail of ponies all over a username I use on several websites back when I was more obsessed; a username that people I know in real life know about. Say they googled that name one day, just for kicks, to see what I've been up to lately. Oh look! DeviantArt full of ponies! A Tumblr full of pony references! A couple of YouTube videos pertaining to pony-related subject matters! And since I'm a hoarder, I don't feel comfortable deleting those things... This fear is becoming unhealthy. It's gotten to the point where my dreams are haunted by images of family members finding out about it. It's gotten to where if someone is skimming through Netflix on our Wii and they happen to click past something MLP-related, my blood runs cold. I did tell a couple of people about the brony fandom. One was my mom, who didn't seem to have an opinion, but did ask if I was a brony. I said no, and it was technically true, since I don't actually call myself a brony. The other was my dad, who was more judgmental about it. He said that if the new MLP was anything like the old one that he remembered from when he was young, he didn't see how anyone could possibly enjoy it. He also said something like "Why would anyone even waste their time with that?". I don't know if he was referring to wasting time with the show, or wasting time engaging in flamewars about it online (if the latter, I can agree with that. ). If anyone were to give me crap about this, it would be hime. He's not exactly the least judgmental guy I know. So basically, I don't know what to do now. I made this thread so that maybe I could get some advice, or for others to share their experiences, etc. I don't know. Just comfort me. The Internet is my only brony friend.