Alright, here's my application:
I'm a grammar nazi, a punctuation perfectionist, a really good writer (based on the feedback I've received), and am excellent when it comes to rephrasing things without changing the intended message. I can nitpick, and I can do it well (and quickly, if needed). I don't have any professional experience, but I do mentally edit nearly everything I read. I've not written fanfics before, nor have I been an editor for anything like that. However, I have numerous well-written essays, and have proof-read/edited those of others before.
Seeing as you don't have any other volunteers here, I hate to be your only option, but I do feel I would be a good one.
Thank you in advance for your consideration, and I hope to hear back from you soon.