FaithDragon

I listened to I Stand Alone. (I was hoping for a Godsmack Cover.)

 

The guitar work is a little too straightforward for screaming and too busy for the chorus to be singing. The vocals on the chorus are... So bad. I couldn't really find what you were going for there, but the melody is non-existent.

 

Additionally, the mix sounds okay. There's peaking here and there, but you could compress it. Drums sound good if not a pretty mundane beat. It's a good start though.

Killer breakdown by the way. The growls need improvement, but that skill will grow with time.

Trust me, I'm very aware my vocals suck. XD

But yeah, I still don't know what I was thinking when I was planning some of I Stand Alone, but as mentioned earlier, I'm gonna give both songs a full rewrite sometime in the future, but alongside that, I've got 2 finished instrumentals I'm trying to currently write lyrics for, and hopefully NOT suck at singing on. Worst comes to worst, I'll see if I can request someone to do some vocals for me, but not sure how that'll go.

I approve of my growling/screaming skill more than my singing though, my singing is extremely cringe-worthy to myself, but I find myself liking my growls and screams, it's more so the lower growls I can do best, mid-high screams still need some work on my end.

Alright, it's very heavy in music theory, so don't hesitate to ask me anything if you can't understand. 

No worries, thank you for all the help you're offering.

No prob. You can always contact me anytime you want help. Did you take a glance at that thread I left in the critique?

Not yet, about to look into it now.

Okay...

 

Deranged

 

1. Watch your drums dude. They don't sound good at all. There's a nasty cut on your cymbals and it sounds like the whole set is peaking with the guitars. Perhaps don't hit the crash on every eighth beat. Limit it to only quarter beats, or use a ride instead. The frequencies that let out from a crash cymbal tend to peak when it's hit hard, therefore a ride would relieve some of the stress that the crash was giving out. Also, you've gotta add some fill-ins dude. They can really help shape your piece. Without the transitions, it's very difficult and awkward when you're jumping from one idea to the next. 

2. You've got a whole lot of changes in this piece. I really wouldn't do that. It makes it sound too sporadic and makes it very difficult for your audience to lose interest quickly, because they would have to adapt to the change. I would suggest you keep it at the speedy tempo all the way from start to finish, like you had starting at around 0:47. You could've used the same synth intro, but not make it so long. 

3. You limited yourself to only the root, which is sort of a no-no. By limiting yourself to the i (knowing that this piece is in the key of c minor), you really don't have any other choices then just playing patterns that involve the notes C, Eb and G, and sometimes Bb. What I suggest is trying to build a steady 4-chord progression. You can find out more on how to do this by looking over this thread here: https://mlpforums.com/topic/136619-chords-progressions-modulations-a-guide-to-composing-music/

4. Your vocals need tons of work. I think what you're trying to do is to make yourself sound like "the rock singer". This is what most beginner composers do. They tend to try to emulate someone else and then it kills their track. Sing with your natural voice. It is the best thing, because you'll stay on key. For the screamo parts, you gotta work on making them solid. They tend to become a bit wobbly, meaning that it seems like it could cut out at any second. 

 

Overall, this piece needs quite a bit of work. When you wrapped up on the last part, you could've synchronized your instruments with your vocals, like in the song "My Curse". This way, you can have a good build-up to the last part. I noticed you put the VI in the end part, but that's still not enough. I can help you reshape this piece if you'd like...

 

I Stand Alone

 

1. Again, your drums are still peaking up there. Watch those crash cymbals dude. The reason why they're cutting is because you've got them too loud. I suggest doing open high-hat and lowering the volume. Or, if you want to have the crashes, start off with open high-hat for 8 phrases, add a fill and then transition to the crash on the eighth beats of the measures/bars. 

2. Your guitars are peaking. You've gotta low their volume. You can tell they're peaking because they along with the crash symbol. 

3. You did a bit better on the chords this time, but be sure to have a steady progression that will keep your audience engaged. 

4. I'm not so sure this song was designed for screamo. It would be best with normal vocals. I just cannot see how screamo would work with this song

5. Overall, this one's better than the first. Again, I can help you make these songs better than they are now. 

SUPER late response is late. Sorry about that.

BUT, thank you SO much for the critique, much appreciated and I definitely WILL be taking this all in, always knew I had problems and not only have you confirmed them, you've also supplied the answers I need to fix those problems, so THANK YOU SO MUCH!

I am actually thinking about giving Deranged a full rewrite at some point in the future, at the time, I was happy with it, but looking back, it definitely isn't as good as it should be.

But, if you're willing to help, I will DEFINITELY take you up on those offers to fix these tracks up, thanks a heap for the offer!

Nice music.  I look forward to hearing more from you. 

 

Some thingies to take note of:

* In Deranged, the drums honestly sound pretty awful...when they're not being completely drowned out by the guitars, that is.  Better drum sounds could be used, and/or the drums could be processed properly to fit with the other instruments.

* The drums in I Stand Alone are better, but still occasionally get drowned.  Kick and snare are also too narrow/dry.  The drums would sound much better with the right processing and some amount of reverb.

Sorry in advance for the double post.

BUT.

I have followed your advise and looked over the mixing of my drums for an upcoming song I'm working on, and have fixed the problems you have mentioned above.

But as I stated, I'll save remixing the older songs for when I do an album eventually and will include those first two songs redone.

For now, I'll continue working on lyrics for this third song I have done, and finish the instrumentals for songs 4 and 5. (Might start posting teasers on Soundcloud to keep you all entertained until full stuff comes out.)

Been getting back into Disturbed lately, this has been my main jam.

Sad or happy, A Day to Remember is where I go to get my dose of feeling good, no matter what.

My answer for this is Fluttershy.

Mostly because we share a mutual love for animals.

And...

Admittedly, she's definitely the cutest of the 6.

I think I died from how cute you two are, anyway how do you two look up to?

I'm... Assuming you mean 'Who do we look up to', in which case, I'd have to say... Probably Princess Luna.

I'd have to say Princess Celestia myself.

Wait, really?

Yeah, I've always looked up to her, she's just an amazing pony, and does an amazing job as Princess.

I can say the same about Princess Luna, but yeah, I will agree, Celestia's pretty amazing as well.

ah you look cute together! what stuff do you do for fun?

Thanks for the question. Thunder? Shimmering?

Well I actually play a lot of guitar, a lot of local shows and also a few albums recorded, but nothing major, enough to get me by.

I play music with him, but as my name suggests, I play keyboard, but I occasionally sing as well.

And your singing voice is absolutely beautiful.

I... *Blush* Shush, you.

Nice music.  I look forward to hearing more from you. 

 

Some thingies to take note of:

* In Deranged, the drums honestly sound pretty awful...when they're not being completely drowned out by the guitars, that is.  Better drum sounds could be used, and/or the drums could be processed properly to fit with the other instruments.

* The drums in I Stand Alone are better, but still occasionally get drowned.  Kick and snare are also too narrow/dry.  The drums would sound much better with the right processing and some amount of reverb.

Deranged was the first song I released, therefore, mixing problems were expected. XD

Same thing with I Stand Alone being the second song, mixing was a bit better but still pretty crap. XD

Don't worry, in due time I will be releasing re-mixed versions of those songs, though I might save that opportunity for an album or something.

Thanks for the critique though, much appreciated.

Australia, myself.

The land of weather that never makes up it's mind. XD

Outline in Color

Pretty underground band that's REALLY amazing (In my opinion) and deserve more love.

Love the instrumentation, vocals (Both clean and screams) and especially the melodic guitar parts that tend to accompany the clean vocals, it just works so well.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GlfA8LhxOVI

What are your thoughts on them? Would you watch an episode about them (The REAL ones, not the Mane Six), or a spin-off about them?

Yeah, I definitely would, the idea of the Power Ponies really intrigues me, and I would definitely like to see more.

@FaithDragon, as this thread has to do with pony fanmusic, it'll be moved to the correct section.

Awesome! Thank you so much for that!

These are my two OCs, Thunder Thorn (On the right) and Shimmering Keys (On the left).

Feel free to ask them any questions at all, get to know them and what not.

We're really doing this, huh?

Yep, that we are.

Feel free to ask me questions as well if you all want, I'll be happy to answer.

This song has been my jam for the past few days now.

This is probably the best picture I'll ever take of myself. XD

Oops, been a while since I checked her last, been busy lately, time for some responses!

Welcome FaithDragon  - do you have a favorite Fluttershy episode?  

Favorite Fluttershy episode, hmm... I'd probably have to say Dragonshy for this one, always loved the character development for Fluttershy building up to her confrontation with the dragon.

Thanks for the welcome!

New member of doooooom!

 

(A nice doom, of course.)

 

Welcome to the forum, more bronies around never can be a bad thing

More bronies means more fun and games, right? XD

Thanks for the welcome!

Welcome to the MLP Forums, FaithDragon! Hope you have a wonderful time.

I hope I have a wonderful also, though from what I'm seeing, I won't have to hope much.

Thanks for the welcome!

Hello there and welcome to the forums. It is great to have you here  . Don't be afraid of jumping in  . I hope you have a wonderful time here and make a lot of friends   

I will jump in ALL the things. XD

Thanks for the welcome!

Welcome to the forums FaithDragon!

 

A fellow musician!

Fellow musician with only 2 songs and a cover so far. XD

I've got a lot more stuff in the works though.

Thanks for the welcome!

hi its nice meeting you my friend =)=)=) welcome to the pony community of happy ponies and happy pony friends =)=)=) I hope you can have awesome and happy time here with all pnoes meeting many pony friends here =)=)=)=) and enjoying the happy time here with all pnoies =)=)=) if you ahve any questions feel free to ask=)! YAAY =)

Don't worry, if any questions arise, they'll be asked all around!

Thanks for the welcome!

Welcome FaithDragon. I hope that you have a lot of fun here. Please ask me if you have any questions.

No worries, thanks for that, and the welcome!

You're a musician? That's awesome! Welcome to the forums, I'm sure you'll have a great time here I hope you make a lot of awesome new friends, thanks for joining, it's great to have you here.

Thanks for the welcome, definitely hope to make some new friends around here!

 

Hi there FaithDragon! ^.^ Happy to have you aboard friend! 

 

 

I hope you have a wonderful time here! We are an amazing community and I think you will absolutely love it here!

 

Thank you so much for joining us! Hope to see you around more!  If you have any questions, feel free to ask. 

 

Don't worry, I'll definitely try to be around more, and the questions will be asked if they do pop up!

Hello and welcome to the forums.   I hope you have a great time here and make loads of new friends.   Feel free to PM me if to want to chat anytime /)*(\

No worries, thanks for the offer!

 

Hi FaithDragon, and welcome to the forums!    

We all hope that you have a fantastic time here and that you make loads of friends!    

Also feel free to PM either me or the other forum members if you require assistance or just want to chat!    

Of course, thank you so much!

(Sorry about removing everyone's quoted emoticons, but I couldn't post it otherwise... Oops XD)

Ah, those are pretty good games to play, from what I've heard.

Yeah, always had fun with them, even better now that (Especially in the case of the Crash Bandicoot/Spyro games) I can actually 100% complete them   (I'm a completionist when it comes to some games. XD)

Ooh, that's interesting playing the guitar. What are some video games you like to play, out of curiosity?

For video games, it's a lot of RPG stuff, mainly JRPGs, I really enjoy the Final Fantasy series, but I also sometimes like to take some steps back to my childhood and replay the Crash Bandicoot and Spyro games.

As for games lately, I play a lot of Final Fantasy XIV, and occasionally League of Legends.

Hello there, FaithDragon! (I feel as though I've heard that name before. ) Welcome to our forums of all things Pony! Hope you have a wonderful time here making new friends and having many great experiences.

 

You play guitar? That's awesome! What model might you have? Any particulars that you like playing the most?

 

Anyway, if you yourself have any questions about the site, feel free to ask myself or any other member here. We'd be glad to point you in the right direction!

 

Have a great first day with us!

Hey, thanks for the welcome!

The guitar I have is a black Jackson Kelly, really nice guitar, bought it back in 2013 and I have NEVER looked back since, Jackson is my go to brand currently, but I also like to play Ibanez and PRS guitars, the PRS my older brother owns is just AMAZING!

Heya all, been working on a few Pony related tunes, and I thought I'd like to share them with you all to see what you think.

Just as a heads up, my music is classes as Metalcore/Electronicore, and as such, is very heavy, and contains quite a bit of screamed vocals. Think PrinceWhateverer kind of music.

Deranged (First song): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BBMyLF1WbKE

I Stand Alone: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YDoDAyyaTKQ

I've only got the two for now, but believe me when I say I have a LOT in the works (Like 5 different WIP project files at the moment. XD)

Hello and welcome to the forums, @FaithDragon! It's great to have you here in this lovely community and we'd be glad to help show you around if you'd like. I hope you have a wonderful time while you're here and get to kake some lovely friends. If you want, feel free to message any member here at any time.

 

What do you like to do in your free time, if I may ask?

Free time, well.

Quite a few things, one of the main being practicing guitar, trying to keep my skills going at the level they're currently at, but aside from that, I like to (attempt to) draw, and I also play a LOT of vidja games.

My Favourite Mane 6 Pony: Fluttershy

How did you find MLP Forums?: Google searching for 'MLP Fansites', wasn't disappointed with results.

How you became a fan of My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic: Friends in my old gaming group linked me 'Winter Wrap Up' the episode one day, I watched it, then immediately binged the rest of Season 1 and joined the wait for Season 2

My name's FaithDragon, though I generally go by some other areas in the community as Faith Dragon Music, as that entails, I am a musician, been playing drums since I was 10, and guitar since I was 12.

I found the show back in... 2011-2012 I believe, either way, it was after Season 1 had ended, and fans were EAGERLY awaiting Season 2.

If any of y'all got any questions for me, feel free to throw them my way, and I'll answer any and all of them to the best of my abilities.