Rainbow Sparkle

This comment has been edited to include the new chapters.

 

Here it is on FIMFiction.net

 

Chapter 1- Rude Awakening

 

“Ugh…” I said as I dropped my bag next to my bed as I fell face first on it, sighing deeply into the comforting embrace of the blanket sitting upon it. It had been a rough night at work, with two food trucks plus the large GM truck…it didn’t help that they had thrown me from one side of the store to the other, and with all the chaos, I still hadn’t managed to get my schedule for the next week fixed.

 

Unfortunately, I had a few things to do, as my mom was more than willing to remind me of as she poked at my back with her finger. “Cain, you can’t lay down and die yet, you got chores to do.”

 

I tried to say something colorful and sarcastic, but all that came out was a series of mumbles as I got to experience exactly how bad my blanket was. My mother’s response was of course uncaring.

 

“Sorry, but until you have your own place, you can’t do the chores just when you want to. While you live here, you help out when I say so.” She replied, and I could hear the smile on her face as she added, “And if you don’t, I’m dropping your cat on your back.”

 

Despite how tired I was, that got me up. Trying to wipe the sleep out of my eyes, I said “Yes ma’am, I’ll get right on it.”

 

Nodding at my assurance, she turned and left my room, no doubt heading off to get ready for her own day of work. I looked at the clock, groaning when I saw it read 7:23 am. I only had about an hour to at least get started on my chores before she headed off, as mother dearest always insisted that I get them done before she left for work. It’s not like I had a tendency to stop half-way through them and go on ahead and sleep…

 

Okay, maybe it was, but so what? Graveyard’s not easy.

 

Taking a brief second to stretch, I slapped my headphone back into my ear, flipping the power switch on my mp3 as I headed out of my room to take care of my morning chores. Thankfully, thanks to many wonderful brony artists out there, the work went much faster as I had pony music blasting in my ear.

 

Rather than bore you with more descriptions of what I spent the morning doing, we’ll just skip to where I got ready to hit the hay, and when the event that stole me from the home I knew and dropped me into a world both familiar and alien occurred.

 

Having finished my chores, and now feeling more exhausted than I had previously, I dragged myself back to my room, not even bothering to get undressed as at this point, I hardly cared, I just wanted to get some much needed shut eye. I had only enough energy to do the one thing I always require to be able to sleep.

 

The last few days, I had fallen asleep to Disney’s The Princess and the Frog, but by this point, I was tired of hearing it as I slipped into unconsciousness. So, it was that time of the week to pick something different, and thankfully, I had finally gotten around to burning the first season of MLP FIM onto some dvds. Now, I could listen to my favorite show as I fell asleep.

 

Slipping the first disk into my PS2, I flopped on my bed and closed my eyes, letting the soothing sound of Friendship is Magic’s opening intro float into my mind. Soon enough, I could feel myself beginning to doze off, and I prepared myself for the usual rash of weird dreams most of which I wouldn’t remember. I had no idea what was about to occur to me, and I suspect that even if I had, I wouldn’t have been prepared.

 

I don’t know exactly when the transfer happened, but I do remember being in the midst of a dream involving Angel Bunny and Tofu teaming up against a ponified Nemesis, when all of a sudden there was this strange sensation. It felt as if the universe itself were preparing to sneeze, and was closing its eyes in anticipation of this action. It quickly faded, and my dreams resumed their normal insanity.

 

Soon enough, I could feel myself slowly drifting away from the realm of sleep, and soon could feel the warmth of the sunlight, the singing of the birds, and the ringing of chimes…

 

Wait…chimes?

 

This was the first clue to me that something was wrong, but since it takes me time to wake up, my brain was lagging behind in the “Processing of the world around you” department. Rubbing my eyes as I tried to clear the fog from them, I turned my head to my right and saw the source of the chime sound; a small alarm clock that had a small green pony striking what looked like a xylophone.

 

That’s funny, I could swear my alarm clock was a windup, and when it went off sounded like what I figured an air-raid siren would sound like from five feet away.

 

It was at this point that my brain suddenly realized something very, very important. When rubbing one’s eyes, one’s hands do not feel like they are one big blob of flesh. One is able to feel the fingers and the knuckles, and must always be careful to not poke one’s eye out in the process. When I had rubbed my eyes naught but a few seconds ago, I did not feel either, and unless I was missing something, it didn’t feel like I was going to poke my eye out.

 

With this information in hand, although I would soon discover that this was the wrong word to use in this situation, I slowly raised my hands up and held them in front of me, rapidly blinking as I forced my vision to become clearer and more focused. Slowly but surely, my vision began to solidify until I could see what it was that I was holding up in front of me.

 

My hands…were no longer hands. They had instead been replaced with pinkish-purple forelegs and hooves. I waved them in front of me, my eyes watching as they moved, my brain processing the fact that they did indeed respond to my commands. I looked down to see that my body was no longer that of a human, but that of a pony, though I had yet to discover the full depth of what was going on. I took one of my hooves and lightly poked my side, confirming that they were indeed hooves and not hands.

 

Okay Cain… don’t panic. Lets think this over rationally. This is all just a dream, or a hallucination. You’re not a pink-purple pony, you’re a twenty-one year old human… gah will someone shut off that alarm clock!

 

My thoughts weren’t exactly coherent at this point, but the chimes of the small alarm clock were beginning to make it hard to focus. Thus, I glared at the alarm clock for a full minute before I finally picked it up with my hooves and turned it off (which was surprisingly easy, I must admit. I figure it would have been harder. Maybe it was and I was just too annoyed to care.)

 

With the alarm clock now silent, I set it back on the nightstand next to the bed and crossed my…legs I guess, over my chest, glaring at the room around me. It was at this point that I realized something else.

 

Hold on a minute… don’t most of these HiE things have the human waking up in the forest or something? Where the heck am I?

 

I turned my head and looked around the room, trying to place where I could be. The room was painted a grayish purple, and it didn’t take much to figure out that I seemed to be in a little girls room. Dolls and toys normally associated with girls were set neatly about the room, and there were a few posters here and there of what I could only assume were celebrities, since one of them did happen to be of Sapphire Shores, not to mention the obvious princess motif the room carried.

 

There were also a few photo’s scattered about the room, and while I had trouble seeing most of them, there was at least one close enough that I could see who was in it. Sitting on a small dresser to the left of the bed was a picture frame that showed two fillies splashing in what looked vaguely like the ocean. One of them was a grey filly with silvery colored hair and glasses, while the other was a pinkish-purple filly with darker purple hair streaked with white, and a small tiara sitting upon her head.

 

Maybe I still wasn’t fully awake yet, maybe my mind was just lagging due to the sheer insanity of being a pony and in Equestria, but I do remember that it took a full minute for me to make the connection of where I was…or in fact, to be more precise, who I was.

 

Perhaps it was the small tiara sitting next to the picture that finally hammered it home to my mind, as it finally dawned on me just what had happened.

 

No…there’s…theres no way, it’s not possible, I can’t be-

 

“Diamond Tiara, honey, are you up yet?”

 

I went stock still as a voice floated into the room, one I recognized from Family Appreciation Day. Filthy Rich, Diamond Tiara’s father, had just called out to her-me, no, I couldn’t think like that, I just couldn’t accept the idea that I was the horrible, prissy little princess wanna-be Diamond Tiara. I could have accepted being Snips or Snails. Heck, I could probably have handled being one of those three Diamond Dogs.

 

I heard foot…err…hoofsteps approaching the door, and I quickly ducked back under the covers, squeezing Tiara’s eyes shut as I silently repeated a mantra in my head, There’s no place like home, there’s no place like home, there’s-

 

Hey, sue me, I was desperate. I know it was a stupid thought then, but I didn’t know what else to do!

 

“Princess? Are you still asleep?”

 

I heard the door open, and the hoofsteps continued until they stopped right next to the bed. I heard a sigh, and yelped as I felt the blanket being pulled away from me. I tried to cling to the safety that the blanket offered, but my attempts to keep the blanket over me were for naught, and only succeeded in sliding me from the top of the bed to the center.

 

With the blanket removed, I could see the stern face of Filthy Rich looking down at me. Quick, act like Diamond Tiara would! I heard a voice in my mind call out, and thinking quickly, I decided to do just that. Gulping down my nervousness, I tried to give him a smile as I murmured, “Ehehe… hi Daddy.”

 

Gah, I even sound like her! This day can’t get any worse…wait, no!

 

He gave me a knowing smile, but it was not one that filled me with warmth of any sort. It was the sort of smile you got when you were caught doing something red-handed. “Morning Princess, I trust we’re awake now?” Somehow, I seem to have managed a weak nod at his words, and he tilted his head to the side as he added, “Though I could have sworn we were past this sort of thing. Aren’t you a bit old to be hiding underneath the covers?”

 

“Err…” I muttered, unsure how to respond. I actually had no idea how old Diamond Tiara was, either in Equestrian years or human ones. And for that matter, for all I knew, Diamond Tiara had been pulling something like this for years.

 

Filthy (heh) sighed again as he leaned over and grabbed me by the neck and gently lifted me off the bed, eliciting a “Hey!” from me before setting me down on the floor. Once done with that, he put a hoof underneath my chin and raised my face to look at his as he said “Look, I know why you’re wanting to avoid this, but as I explained to you yesterday, this is your punishment for what you did.”

 

Without fully realizing it, an agitated expression appeared on my face as I asked “Why? What the hay did I do wrong?” Despite the fact that I was in Diamond Tiara’s body, and was therefore DT to everypony else, I didn’t like all too much the idea of being punished for something that brat had done to somepony. After all, it was her who did it, not me… err… sort of.

 

Filthy’s expression was one that told me it should have been very obvious to me what I had done, and I grimaced a bit as I realized I probably should have thought first before I opened my mouth. “As I recall, you forced three of your classmates to get as many ‘juicy’ stories as they could get their hooves on, and spread them all over town. You nearly ruined their friendships with everypony here in Ponyville, not to mention in the process smearing our name.”

 

Well, at least I know when I am, I thought to myself as I did my best to look downcast, which was actually rather easy considering the situation I was in. I figured that Tiara would probably try to defend what she did to her father, but from my perspective, there wasn’t anything to defend.

 

Then don’t think from your perspective, look at it from Diamond Tiara’s. Why would she have done what she did? I bit my upper lip, trying to think quickly. Why would DT have gone so far with that newspaper thing?

 

She thinks of herself as being better than everyone, but seems determined to prove it by taunting others, she strives to be the center of attention, and seems concerned about her popularity…so she did it to embarrass everyone else and make herself feel important. After all, everyone in Ponyville was reading the school paper, she must have felt on top of the world.

 

With this thought in my mind, I did my best to make my face look innocent as I looked up at Filthy Rich and said “But I only wanted the paper to be popular! I wanted everyone to think I was doing a good job…”

 

Filthy’s stern expression shifted, but only by a bit at what I had said. “I won’t deny that some of the blame lies with everypony in town. But you could have found another way to make the paper popular Diamond Tiara. You didn’t need to reveal the entire town’s secrets.” He sighed, adding on, “I didn’t raise you to be like this…”

 

I said nothing to that, merely going back to looking sad. Though within my head the words Are ya sure about that floated around for a moment. Not that I could say it aloud, as not only would that likely make him mad (which was most certainly something I didn’t want) but it wasn’t something DT would say.

 

“But then again, that’s why your punishment is to help every single pony whose secrets you revealed.”

 

“WHAT?!” I shouted, my eyes going wide at what Filthy said. Not only was I stuck in DT’s body, and not only would I have to try to figure out some way to get back home, I was going to have to do that while avoiding suspicion and helping every single pony DT had slighted with her gossip column!

 

“You heard me young lady. Every single pony your newspaper hurt, you’re going to help them with one task that they ask of you. I already had those three classmates of yours spread the word.”

 

I will tell you, right now, I do not have a problem with the CMC, in fact, of all the kids in the show they are my absolute favorites. But at that moment, I wanted to track them down and lob…I don’t know, something at them. The fact that I wouldn’t have minded them doing this if I didn’t happen to be in possession of DT’s body was not lost on me.

 

I briefly entertained the thought of trying to weasel out of it somehow, but the look on Filthy’s face told me that any such attempt would only be digging me a deeper hole. So, taking a deep breath, I sighed and murmured “Yes daddy.”

 

He gave me a genuine smile, reaching a hoof out to ruffle my mane as he said “That’s a good girl. I know you probably think I’m being harsh, but I’m only trying to make sure that you grow up to be the wonderful pony I knows in there.” He pulled me into an embrace at the last, and I had to thank whatever gods here that I liked getting and giving hugs, as otherwise I might have done something stupid to give away that something was off. “Now, why don’t you go wash up, and then come on down stairs, breakfast is almost ready.”

 

As if the mention of food was all it took, my stomach grumbled loudly, causing Filthy to laugh as he said “And just in time too.”

 

I tried my best to laugh sheepishly, though it was rather disconcerting to hear DT’s laughter as my own. Filthy gave me one last smile before turning and heading out the door, closing it behind him. I quietly waited till he was out of earshot before I said “I’m fucked.”

 

It’s actually rather funny, after saying that, I had a sudden urge to rinse my mouth out with soup. Then I remembered that I was going to have to endure what was supposed to be Diamond Tiara’s punishment, and dark frown crossed my features as I said to the empty room,

 

“You owe me Diamond Tiara. Big Time.”

 

Chapter 2- Would you like lumps with your Tiara?

 

Last time, on A Jewel of a Problem…our hero Cain had his mind flung from his world of Earth into the one mind no brony would ever wish to be stuck in; Diamond Tiara. Having learned when and where he is, Cain is now faced with the difficult task of finding a way to get his mind back home to Earth while avoiding letting slip that DT is no longer the bitch everyone knows her as, and to add insult to injury, he has to help every single Pony that Diamond Tiara slandered while she was running the school paper.

 

Will he succeed in his endeavor, or will he be trapped forever in the body of a pink and purple filly? Only time…will tell, muahahahahaha *hack, cough, cough*!

 

Where the heck did that come from? Don’t tell me I’m going to start hearing things as well, I’ve got enough problems now if ya haven’t noticed!

 

After Filthy had left, I sat my plot down on the floor as I took a moment to contemplate the situation I was in. I looked down at the floor and using the awesome powers of my imagination, I imagined a small sheet of paper sitting on the floor before me. Peering at it, I saw what looked like a list that seemed to describe my situation. At the top was a little sticker of what Equestria looked like when they showed it in Friendship is Magic.

 

Okay, so first off, we’re in Equestria. I looked around the room, trying to imagine any other place this could be, not forgetting that I seemed to be stuck in Diamond Tiara’s body and had just been lectured by Filthy Rich. Check.

 

The next item on the list was a sticker of a pony, with the words “You are a pony” following it. I turned and twisted my head, looking at each part of me to confirm I was indeed a Pony, and not a human. I wasn’t going to bother checking to see if I was a filly or colt, but then I decided it was required. I did not need to somehow find out that I had also swapped DT’s gender in whatever had brought me here. That would blow ANY chance of avoiding suspicion with the ponies of Ponyville. One brief check later, I checked that one, adding to it “and am a filly”

 

The third item on my list… what the heck? Running out of time to get washed up? What the hay is that doing on-

 

“Diamond Tiara, five minutes till breakfast! Finish washing up and get down here!”

 

“Crap!” I yelped as I did a short jump into the air, my head twisting around as I tried to figure out where the bathroom was. There didn’t seem to be one in the bedroom, which annoyed the heck out of me as I stood up and started to make my way towards the door. I was only a foot away from it when I suddenly thought aloud, “Wait a minute, why am I not having trouble walking?”

 

Smack!

 

Just by saying that sentence, I seemed to have broken whatever it was that was making it so I could walk without a problem as I slipped and smacked my face into the door. Yelping in pain, I tried to get stand back up on my hind legs, only to fall backwards and smack my head onto the floor.

 

This… just isn’t my day, I thought to myself as I rubbed the back of my head and my nose, both of which stung but were otherwise undamaged. And I had a feeling that it was only going to get worse if I couldn’t figure this out, which would be hard to do if I let the already building anger at my inability to even walk get the better of me.

 

Taking a deep breath, I… steepled my hooves in front of me as I took a moment to look over how I had messed up, asides from the obvious invocation of Murphy’s Law (damn you to hell Murphy!)

 

I was doing just fine…until I realized I wasn’t having any trouble…I thought to myself, looking back at the bed which was several feet away; Which meant I had walked nearly all the way across the room before having any trouble.

 

Come to think of it, I didn’t have any trouble turning that alarm clock off... I don’t think I even remember how I did it… I just did it…

 

An idea was forming in my head, but I had to try to confirm it somehow to know if I was right. Standing up, I started thinking about how I shouldn’t be used to walking on four feet. With this in mind, I tried to take several steps towards the bed…

 

Smack!

 

Into the floor I went! I rubbed my nose again as I got back up, and this time I took a deep breath in, and let it out as I imagined my mind not having anything in it. No thoughts, just an empty void. Then I took a step forward, and another, and another one after that. Within a few seconds, I was back to standing next to the bed.

 

So that’s how I did it! I didn’t think about how walking on four hooves should be hard, I just walked! That’s… That’s… My mind trailed off as I tried to think of a good word that would fit this discovery. I decided that after a moment, convenient was a good word, though I had to wonder if using that word might come back to bite my plot later.

 

It certainly makes sense. I don’t think most people think about how they walk, they just do it. Now, if only all the other things I’m bound to have trouble with are this easy…

 

So, with this little obstacle cleared, I walked over to the door, feeling proud that I only nearly tripped once, and reached up to open the door with my hand-

 

Hoof idiot, you have hooves now.

 

Right, how was it most ponies opened doors? I couldn’t open it with magic, since I wasn’t a unicorn. Did ponies ever use their hooves to open doors? I couldn’t quite remember if there had been an instance of such. I did however, remember that they used their-

 

Ugh. Why didn’t I pay attention when Filthy Rich did it?

 

With a grunt of frustration, I leaned forward with my mouth grab the doorknob, when I saw it start to turn on its own. I gazed at it as it made the full turn, thinking to myself Am I doing that?

 

I think those smacks to the head left me a little slow, because I really should have known what was happening. In fact, I should have known and jumped out of the way. As it was, I was gazing at the doorknob as if in a trance when the door opened and smacked into my head, again. This time though, the door also slammed me into the wall.

 

“Miss Tiara? Your father sent me to come check on you. I didn’t see you in the washroom… um… Miss Tiara?”

 

“This is getting ridiculous…” I murmured as I slowly got up from behind the door, rubbing a hoof my hoof in small circles as my head pounded from the brutal beating I seemed to be inflicting upon myself. I heard a yelp and looked up to see what looked like an amber colored mare with orange curly hair and wearing a maids outfit rushing over to me with a look of concern mixed with fear on her face.

 

“Miss Tiara! Are you alright? What happened to you?”

 

I tried to focus on the mare in front of me, or was it three? I shook my head to try to clear it up, but that only made my head hurt more. “Oww! My head!” I turned and glared at the door, wishing upon it a horrible and slow death by wood-chipper. She seemed to get the idea, as she suddenly started spouting,

 

“Oh my, I-I’m so sorry Miss Tiara, I didn’t mean to do that! Please don’t get mad at me! It was an accident honest!”

 

I turned to see her laying on her belly, hooves laid out in front of her as if she was bowing to me, fear written all over her face. My ears were ringing a bit, so I wasn’t sure of everything she was saying as she continued. I closed my eyes and shook my head, lightly this time so as to not make it hurt as much, which seemed to work better before opening my eyes to see that she had stopped talking, and tears were running down her face as she looked up at me expectantly.

 

What the heck is up with her? Heck, who the heck is she-oh. I fully noticed the maids outfit, and my brain reminded me who I looked like to this pony, along with everyone else in Ponyville. She’s probably a servant who works for the family, she must think she smacked me into the wall. Which, she had, in a sense, but that was because of my brain being stuck on park when it should have been in drive.

 

I should probably say something to her before she freaks out anymore, don’t need to be giving the help panic attacks. “Uh hey, it was only an accident, no need to freak out over it or anything.”

 

For a moment, I thought she hadn’t heard me correctly, or that my mouth wasn’t doing what my brain instructed, when she started babbling out, “Oh please don’t tell Mister Rich! I don’t want to get punished! I-I know, I’ll take you to your favorite ice cream store, I’ll-”

 

“Huh? What are you talking about? I said it was an accident, geeze, do you need hearing aids or something?” I rolled my eyes at her babbling, wondering if I had waited a bit too long to say something to her, when she seemed to perk up at my words, though what she said next caught me a bit off guard,

 

“You..You mean you’re not gonna ask your father to punish me? Or fire me?”

 

I gave her an incredulous look as she stood up, hope twinkling in her eyes. A sick feeling was beginning to form in my gut, so I decided to keep talking so I wouldn’t have to think about it.

 

“Are you deaf?” She shook her head no, and I added “Did I say I anything about telling daddy?” She shook her head no again. Sighing, I put a hoof to my face as I said “Look, just forget about the whole thing okay? I need to go get cleaned up before daddy comes up here and scolds me again-gyah!”

 

The maid had grabbed me with her forehooves and was hugging me to her chest as she repeated “Thank you thank you thank you!” I tried to say something, but all that came out was an unintelligible mumble. “Oh, you don’t know how much this means to me Miss Tiara! I was so worried about making a mistake after the others told me about you and I…”

 

Great, she’s new. I thought to myself, wondering if that would make things easier or harder. It didn’t sound like she had stopped, and I’m sure she would have kept going on like that, were it not for the fact that I decided it was time for her to let me go so I could get some air. Since she didn’t seem to be paying attention to my attempts at talking, I did the only thing that came to my mind.

 

I bit her.

 

“Ouch!” She yelped, letting me go, which, much to my annoyance, meant a short drop to the floor. Luckily, it was only a foot down, so I didn’t have any trouble landing on my hooves.

 

“Air!” I gasped, taking in a deep breath and releasing it before looking up at the surprised face of the maid as she rubbed at her chest. “Next time… find a different way… to express your excitement, would you?”

 

Her cheeks went a bit red, and she sheepishly murmured “Yes Miss Tiara.”

 

I shook my head, rolling my eyes again. This was a waste of time for everyone involved, so I decided to get things moving by asking “Sooo, why are you up here?”

 

“You didn’t hear me when I came in?” She replied, and my response was to point a hoof from her to the door, and then back to my head. She got that embarrassed look again as she murmured “Right, I could see how that would make it hard. Your dad sent me up to see if you were getting washed up…Err…did you already get washed up?” I shook my head at this, and she put on a weak smile as she said “Well then, I guess I need to help you get washed up then, your father wanted you downstairs as soon as possible…” That fearful look came back to her face, and I could already guess what she was thinking, so I sighed and turned towards the door and replied,

 

“Well, let’s get it over with.” She nodded, and started for the door. I started to follow after her, then stopped and added “Hold on a sec.” I didn’t bother to see if she had stopped or not, figuring she would stand as still as a statue if I told her to, and I ran back inside the room and over to the dresser. As much as I didn’t want to, I grabbed the little tiara that was Diamond Tiara’s and trotted over to the maid and mumbled “Ready.”

 

And so, with a freaking tiara sitting in my mouth (which tasted disgusting I will add) and a nervous rookie maid leading the way, I finally stepped out of Diamond Tiara’s room and into an expansive hallway that was painted a soft white, with large windows showing the thatched roofs of Ponyville in the distance.

 

Wonder how big this house is…I thought to myself as I followed the maid, who quickly led me to a spacious bathroom that was a good four or five times bigger than my own houses bathroom. It actually looked like it belonged in one of those fancy hotels you see commercials of on TV all the time, which makes sense when you consider that Diamond Tiara’s dad was rich (Filthy Rich, HAH), and that’s not even taking into consideration the possibility of her mom. If she has one I reminded myself.

 

The maid, who I learned was named Ginger Gold and had been working here for a week, quickly led me towards a big bath tub. I don’t know if Diamond Tiara always had a maid help her get washed up or not, but considering the fact that I wasn’t exactly sure if I could do it myself properly, I didn’t complain. I did however, make sure to memorize what she did so I would know in the future. After all, I had no idea how long I might be stuck in DT’s body, and I don’t know about you, but I can bathe myself perfectly well thank you very much.

 

After drying off, she helped brush my mane into its normal state after I tried and failed to do so with my mouth. It was my turn to be embarssed when she gave me an odd look and simply picked the brush up with a hoof and started pulling it through my mane.

 

Guess that answers that question. With that knowledge in hoof, I was able to ensure that I was able to at least do something by myself as I set the tiara atop my head, looking at Diamond Tiara’s, or I suppose I should say my, reflection to make sure it was sitting where it should. Since it didn’t seem out of place, I hopped down from the stool I had been sitting upon and made my way out the door with Ginger in tow. As I stepped back into the hallway, I picked up the wonderful smell of muffins floating in the air. My stomach growled, reminding me that I was indeed hungry, and without thinking, I dashed down the hallway, following the scent of breakfast like a dog chasing after a cat.

 

“Miss Tiara! Slow down, you’re going to-”

 

I turned my head and shouted back to her, “Don’t you say it!” but as I finished saying that, I did exactly as she expected as one of my hooves got caught in the rug and I was sent rolling into a nearby wall. When I opened my eyes, I saw an upside down Ginger looking down at me in concern.

 

“Are you alright Miss Tiara?”

 

I closed my eyes and groaned, and wondered if this was an omen of what was to come.

 

This was going to be one long ass day.

 

~^~

 

After that incident, I walked the rest of the way to the dining hall, with Ginger walking right beside me. I had a feeling she thought that if I wasn’t right next to her at all times, I might get myself hurt again. Which considering the brief time we had known each other, wasn’t all that much of a surprise. I wouldn’t have been amazed at all if she suddenly pulled out a roll of bubble wrap and wrapped me up in it.

 

Reaching the dining hall, I saw Filthy Rich sitting at the end of a long table that could have comfortably seated twenty or more ponies. Like the rest of the house that I’d seen so far, it looked like what you figure a rich person’s dining room would be. I guess it was a good thing that having lots of nice stuff didn’t impress me, as otherwise I probably would have been looking at everything in awe a few times, and for me to do that while Diamond Tiara’s body would not be the smartest thing to do.

 

“I was wondering when you’d get down here. I was getting ready to send a search party.” Filthy said, looking up from the newspaper that was sitting in front of him, smiling at me. “You look as pretty as always my little Princess.”

 

Not being someone who really cared how I looked, the compliment meant nothing to me, but I put a smile on anyways as I sat down near him and I replied “Thank you Daddy, Miss Ginger helped me.”

 

He nodded at this, and flashed a smile at Ginger as he said “Cherry Tart should be finished with the muffins, bring the plates out here please.” Ginger nodded and headed thru a nearby door into what I assumed was the kitchen. I noticed that as she left the room, Filthy’s gaze seemed to be following her back before the door blocked her from site. I said nothing, pretending I saw nothing as I sat quietly at the table. Filthy took his eyes away from the door and went back to reading his paper, leaving the room in a (in my mind) uncomfortable silence. As the seconds ticked by, I decided I couldn’t stand the silence and asked,

 

“So, Daddy…”

 

“Yes Princess?” He replied, not even looking away from his paper. This rankled me, but I did my best not to let any of my annoyance slip out as I continued,

 

“Do I really have to help all those ponies?”

 

He sighed, turning the page before answering. “Yes dear, you have to help each and every pony the paper slandered while you were heading it. I’ve been lenient in the past, but not this time. Besides, it’s a good thing to help others out. It helps build character.”

 

I wasn’t going to argue that Diamond Tiara couldn’t use some character, heck, I was all for it, but not while I was her. I nodded weakly, looking down at the table, figuring he was finished. He seemed to be, as he said nothing else, going back to focusing on his paper. But then he added,

 

“Oh yes, today you’ll be helping the Apple family today, seeing as you slandered all of them here in Ponyville.”

 

The brony in me wanted to jump into the air and shout “HUZZAH!!” at the idea of getting to meet the Apples, but the me that wanted to find a way to get home as soon as possible forcefully dragged the brony down and tied him to a stump. I then repeated what he said to myself and retorted, “But I didn’t put anything about Apple Bloom in the paper, just her kooky family.”

 

“That ‘kooky’ family happens to provide us with nearly half of our wealth, and you’ll do well to remember that.” He said, this time finally looking up from his paper to gaze at me, his eyes as stern and unyielding as a glacier. “And you threatened to slander Apple Bloom and her friends, so that counts just as much. You’ll be helping each of them today with some of their work, or whatever else they ask of you. Is that clear?”

 

I gritted my teeth but nodded all the same. I had the sudden hope that the Apples would give me small, simple, and easy to finish tasks so they could get me out of their hair and I could work on finding a way out of here. But considering how my morning thus far had gone, I didn’t expect it’d be that easy.

 

“That’s my Princess. I know you don’t like it, but you’ll understand why I’m doing this someday.”

 

I highly doubt that, I thought to myself. I was tempted to make some sort of sarcastic comment, but Ginger chose that moment to push in a cart laden with all sorts of muffins and a pitcher of orange juice and a big steaming cup of coffee. My eyes lit up at the sight of them and a wide smile made its way across my face. There was oatmeal raisin, banana but, chocolate chip, apple cinnamon, I think I saw one that looked like someone had decided to cross cherry cobbler with a muffin in there. I waited until she had set everything down before I reached out to snag a muffin…

 

“Ah ah ah, I know your hungry sweetie, but aren’t you forgetting something?” Filthy said, and I looked over to him and saw that he had placed his hooves together on the table in a manner roughly similar to how a human prayed before a meal.

 

Intrigued, I merely nodded and did the same, and he bowed his head down and said “Thank you Celestia, for without your life-giving sun, we would not have this bounty of food upon our table. Amen.”

 

Well, that was certainly interesting to hear. Guess that’s something to tell the bronies back on Earth, I thought to myself as I reached out and grabbed a muffin, this time not being stopped as Filthy himself did the same. Ginger excused herself, giving me a sheepish wave before darting back into the kitchen.

 

After several delicious muffins and two tall glasses of OJ later, and I felt loads better than I had a short while ago. My head still throbbed softly, but it was fading away. I looked over at Filthy, who was finishing off his glass of coffee, and I decided to ask something that I had become curious about as I ate.

 

“Hey Daddy, when do I have to go help the Apples?”

 

Filthy looked up at a clock set in the wall, which read half past eight. “I told the Apples that you were to be there by eleven o’clock, so you have until then to do what you wish. But.” He said, putting emphasis on the word to make clear that I should make sure I remember what came next, “I don’t want you to try to find a way to sneak out of it. If you do try to, I won’t let your friend Silver Spoon come over for a week.”

 

You would think that I wouldn’t care about that, but surprisingly, I did. Firstly, because Filthy would probably get suspicious (or at least I would in his position) if his daughter didn’t care if she couldn’t have her best friend over for a week. Secondly, she was the only pony in Ponyville I could think of that I wouldn’t have to act like an asshole towards, not to mention it’d be somepony who wouldn’t want to keep about a ten foot distance from me.

 

And third…I don’t know why or how I felt this way, but I felt that if there was anyone I could tell my situation to at the moment, it would be Silver Spoon. Obviously, I couldn’t do it right away, but if I needed to, I had a feeling that Silver Spoon would be the first to believe me.

 

“I understand Daddy. I’ll be there.” I said the last with a huff, but I laid my head down on the table as resigned expression spread across my face. Short of finding a book called “Interdimensional Mind Travel for Dummies” or me just suddenly being sent back, I was going to have to behave, and not behave, as Diamond Tiara would.

 

Still, with two and a half hours, I could try to get somewhere in my quest to get back home. And there was only one logical place to start.

 

Ponyville’s Public Library…or whatever the fuck they called it.

 

“Well…I’m going out for a bit then. Maybe I’ll see if I can find Silver Spoon and talk to her for a bit before I go to Sweet Apple Acres.”

 

“That sounds like a good idea. Just remember, eleven o’clock is when you need to be at there. Oh, and you’ll be there for six hours, so try not to exhaust yourself before then.” Filthy replied, to which I nodded before standing up and walking out of the dining hall and into the houses main hall.

 

It’s a good thing that they're right next to each other, I would have hated to have to try to find the front door by myself. I thought to myself as I made my way towards it, pushing it open and stepping into the sun filled courtyard. I had to shield my eyes for a brief moment, as the sunlight was brighter than I had expected it to be.

 

It’s what I get for working graveyard…though Luna would probably think it’s awesome there are people up and about during the night. Once I had adjusted to the light, I saw that the path leading up to the doors also lead out of the courtyard and towards Ponyville. It looked to be about a twenty minute walk or so, but that would have been as a slightly heavy human. As a young filly Earth Pony however, I had to hazard that at most it would take ten minutes.

 

“Only one way to find out…I hope you’re not so prim and proper that you can’t run Tiara.” I muttered, taking a deep breath as I broke into a fast trot, quickly heading out of the courtyard and down towards Ponyville. Hopefully, it wouldn’t take long to find the library, or to find what I needed.

 

And hopefully, nopony will bother me and take up some of my precious, precious time…

 

…

 

Luna damnit, I did it again.

 

The story is now a collab project with a friend on FIMFiction.net named HoneyHoneyHoney. Chapters 3 and 4 were made before he joined and it became a collab project.

 

Chapter 3-Fun Times in Ponyville.

 

As it turned out, Diamond Tiara wasn’t as up to speed on the physical department as I had hoped. So it did take me about twenty minutes to reach the outer edge of Ponyville. I stopped for a moment, taking the chance to take a breather as I looked up ahead into the town. The streets were only beginning to fill with ponies, and for the most part it looked like adult ponies, which I viewed as a good thing. Adults were less likely to potentially bother me unless I got in their way, where as any children in town were likely to take this opportunity after recent events to ridicule Diamond Tiara, or in this case me.

 

And too much ridicule directed at Diamond-err, me, isn’t going to end well. I had always had a low tolerance for those who made fun of others, Diamond Tiara included, which was this situation sickened me to my core, and why I needed to get out of it as fast as possible, but I had never taken well to those who decided to make fun of me.

 

Thankfully, the only child I saw was a younger looking pegasus filly walking in my direction with her mother. She looked too young to be in school, a tad smaller than Pips size I’d wager, so unless her mother or someone else in her family had been slighted by DT when she was running the paper…

 

Last time…on A Jewel of a Problem…

 

Dear sweet Luna, not this again.

 

Ehehehe…After a series of repeated attempts to inflict harm on Diamond Tiara’s body…

 

Hey now, only one of those was my fault! Wait, why am I even responding to this voice?

 

Our hero has left the Rich manor, on a quest to locate and find Twilight’s tome-filled home in his efforts to find a way to free himself from this current predicament. But he doesn’t have long, as he has already taken twenty minutes of his time-

 

It’s not my fault Diamond Tiara’s body isn’t up to the norm for Earth Ponies. Give me a break here.

 

­-leaving him only a total of two hours and ten minutes to both find her home, find anything that may give him a hint of how to get back home, and find his way to Sweet Apple Acres in time to help the Apple Family.

 

Crud. I hadn’t thought of that. Finding Twilight’s home might be hard, but getting to Sweet Apple Acre’s could take a significant chunk of my time. And if I didn’t get there in time, they’d probably assume that I was trying to skip out on the punishment, and then I’d be in big trouble with Filthy Rich.

 

Ehehehe…that’s right. So you better get moving, muahahahahah!

 

“Did you hear something Mommy?”

 

I glanced to the side at hearing this, seeing the small young pegasus filly looking up at her mother expectantly. The mother’s ears seemed to be twitching, as if trying to discern if she had heard anything. After a moment, she replied “It was probably just the wind honey.”

 

I frowned at this. The only thing I’d heard was that weird voice… nothing else. There wasn’t anypony else nearby, and the birds were either still asleep or slacking off today.

 

Which can only mean…that the little filly over there heard the same thing I did… but that doesn’t make sense! If I am hearing voices, I should be the only one able to hear it… shouldn’t I? If I wasn’t the only one who could hear the voice, that meant I wasn’t hearing voices in my head, and that someone… or something was talking to me

 

Eheheheheheheehhe…

 

“Mommy, I heard it again.” I heard the little filly say, and the mother was silent for a moment before murmuring

 

“I did too, but it sounds like an animal. Let’s just keep going.”

 

Alright, it’s official, I’m not hearing things, something really is talking to me. Yet I can only seem to hear it in my head, but others can hear it, though understanding it seems up for debate…ugh this is making my head hurt.

 

Oh I’m sowwy, is the purty little filly having a headache? Let me give you a kiss and make it aaalllll better!

 

“Bite me.” I muttered aloud, hoping that whatever was the source of the voice would go away and leave me alone.

 

“Okie dokie!” I heard someone behind me say, followed by a pinching sensation on my rump. I stopped, my eye twitching as I recognized the voice, before slowly turning my head, and I saw the only pony in the universe who could have taken what I said literally to heart. I could already hear my inner brony jumping for joy and singing the song of her people.

 

“Pinkie… why are you biting my rump?”

 

Yes, it was none other than Pinkie Pie who had her teeth gripping my rump. Her eyes blinked innocently at me as if she had no idea why I would even be asking such a thing. My inner brony was crying out, thrashing at the chains I had placed on him in my head, wanting me to glomp Pinkie and give her the biggest hug ever, and then spend the rest of the day helping her with pranks or whatever other random stuff she did.

 

My only response was to put more chains on him. I didn’t need Brony-me getting DT tossed into the loony bin. And thanks to Read it and Weep, I knew they had such a thing.

 

She mumbled something that I wasn’t able to catch, as her mouth was still clinging to my rump. Smacking a hoof to my face, I asked, irritation getting into my voice “Can you let go of me and say that again?”

 

Pinkie did so, taking a moment to lick her lips before saying, “Mmmm, Cherry Blossom!” I gave her glance that said I didn’t care if I tasted like three-day old mayonnaise as I waited for her response. She looked down at me, her mouth making an ‘o’ shape as she remembered I was still waiting and she said “Well duh, you asked me to you silly filly.” She ruffled my hair at that last, careful to avoid the tiara.

 

You know that meme image that says ‘implied facepalm’, when something is ridiculous or stupid that you don’t even need to facepalm? Yeah, that’s the expression that was on my face at that moment. I wish I had a mirror, as it probably would have been the funniest thing ever. Okay, maybe not, but it would have at least made me chuckle.

 

As it was, I simply went “Ugh, Pinkie, it’s a figure of speech-”

 

“Oh! Twilight uses those all the time! I don’t understand some of them, but some of them are really funny. But I’ve never heard her say ‘Bite me’. Hehehehe, that’s a funny one, Bite me. Bite Me! Bitemebitemebitemebiteme!”

 

Dear God, what have I done? I haven’t been here even a day and already I’m tainting Pinkie Pie!

“And besides, I wasn’t even talking to you!” I said, raising my voice so I could get Pinkie’s attention, as she had been hopping around as he tried to come up with a song based on the very phrase I had inadvertently taught her. She stopped in mid-air, turning her head upside down as she asked,

 

“But… if you weren’t talking to me, who were you talking too? I didn’t see anypony else…oooh, heeeyyy, maybe Twilight’s learned an invisibility spell! That would be so awesomeriffic! Ya here Twi? Heellooo? Twiledly yodelly who?”

 

I could feel my eye twitching again as Pinkie began searching the nearby area for Twilight, drawing a few stares from the animals that were up and about. “Ugh, I wasn’t talking to anyone! I was just speaking out loud.” It wasn’t exactly what had been going on, but I didn’t want to tell Pinkie Pie I had voices talking to me in my…

 

Actually, Pinkie would probably be the only one I could tell I had voices talking to me in my head, but that’s besides the point.

 

Pinkie stopped her search, her head popping out of a nearby birds nest, with said birds looking at the pink pony like she was crazy or something, and she tilted her head as she gave me a… confused doesn’t work here, I have to go with confuzzled, expression as she asked “But… doesn’t that mean you were talking to yourself.” I nodded at this, hoping that would be the end of it, when she added “So… why would you tell yourself to bite yourself? Seems kinda silly if you ask me.”

 

Says the bright pink earth pony whose head is sticking out of a bird’s nest I thought to myself as I tried to come up with a good explanation for why I would say such to myself. Or better yet, I needed to come up with a good reason for Diamond Tiara to say such to herself.

 

“Uhm,… well ya see…” Sadly, I had nothing, and as I tried to work something together in my head, Pinkie popped out of the nest and bounded over to stand next to me, her eyes gazing at me curiously. Realizing I wasn’t going to come up with anything, I decided I needed to distract her, and suddenly, a brilliant plan came into my head.

 

“Say… Pinkie Pie… would you like to play a game?” I gave her a friendly smile, my eyes glittering conspiratorially.

 

The effect was immediate. Pinkie went from questioning what was going on to possessing a smile that should have broken some sort of bone or tore a muscle. “A game? Oh I love games, which game are we playing? Tic tac toe, pin the tail on the pony, OH! Please say Bingo, it’s my favorite!”

 

“Actually, it’s none of those. It’s kinda like follow the leader. Only it’s called ‘Destination’. I pick a place to go, and then we take five minute turns trying to get there. The first one to get us to the destination wins. Oh, and you can’t tell the other players if your going the wrong way. Sound like fun?” I was making this up from the seat of my…I’d say pants, but I’m lacking those right now, or any clothing at all, so I guess the proper phrase would be that I was pulling it outta my plot. Suffice it to say, I had no idea if it would work or not.

 

Pinkie Pie sat back on her hind legs and tapped her chin for a moment, before hopping up and shouting “You betcha! I’ve never heard of that game, but it sounds like fun fun fun! Can I go first?”

“I think I should go first, since I suggested it. Next time we play, you can go next.” Pinkie seemed to deflate a bit, but I said “That just means I pick the place we’re going to. You get to lead the way for the first five minutes.” This made her perk up a bit, so I finished by saying “Alright Pinkie, our destination is the library. Ready… set… lead the way!”

 

“Whheeee!” Pinkie shouted, galloping off into town, a determined look on her face. Smirking to myself, I charged after her, hoping my plan would work in time.

 

~^~

 

As it turns out, my plan worked, though it took longer than I thought to reach the library. Unlike Pinkie, I had no idea where the heck I was going, so during the few turns I had I basically wandered aimlessly, Pinkie happily bouncing along. The trip wasn’t exciting, though it was informative of just how much of the town had been slandered by Diamond Tiara. More ponies were out and about now, and about one in three would give me a dirty look. My belief that Diamond Tiara was universally disliked seemed to be wrong however, as there were some ponies, both adults and kids, who would wave or smile at me. In the latter case, it was roughly one in twelve, though that’s more of a guess on my part. I have no idea how many ponies are in Ponyville, and some of them look really, really similar to each other. I could almost swear that one glared and smiled at me.

 

Now, your probably thinking the library looks as it does in the show right? That looking at it’s sight was a familiar thing right? Well, you’d be wrong, because it was actually a bit different from what they showed in the episodes.

 

For one thing, it was bigger, and it was obvious that there were at least a few more floors. At the top, I could see what looked like a small balcony, where a fancy looking telescope sat pointed at the sky. There was also a sign that said “Ponyville Public Library”, with a smaller lettering underneath that said “built YE 641”. I had no idea what that meant exactly, though I was certain I’d learn at some point.

 

Pinkie stopped in front of the door and turned to give me a wide smile as she said “Well, here we are. Ponyville’s Public Library. Which means I won the game!!” She clapped her hooves excitedly at this, and I returned the smile with one of my own.

 

“Eyup, you won alright. And here I thought it was going to be me who got us here…”

 

“Oh don’t feel bad, I’m sure with one more turn you would have been the one to get us here. I was really worried that with all those wrong turns you were making you’d be the one to get us here first.” She replied, giving me a curious look as she seemed to think about that. I didn’t give her much of a chance to think about it, as I stepped toward the door and said,

 

“I guess I’ll have to rethink my strategy then for next time we play Pinkie Pie. I really did enjoy playing, but I’ve got some things to do before I…*sigh* go start my punishment, so if you’ll excuse me-” I had my hoof on the door, ready to push it, but a sudden gasp and brief blast of air behind me caused me to turn and see Pinkie’s face only inches away from mine. I yelped, backing into the door as her eyes bored into mine.

 

“Ya know, I just realized that there’s something off here…” Pinkie said, her eyes looking up and down at me, causing me to sweat as I tried to figure out what the heck I could have done that would make her say that. Was I not rude or pretentious enough? Did I say something that Diamond Tiara wouldn’t say? Or was this because Pinkie’s Pinkie Senses had some way to detect when a human was in possession of a ponies body?

 

Suddenly, her eyes drifted back towards my head, and then they lit up as she pointed a hoof at my mane and said “That’s it! Your missing your tiara! I knew there was something different about you!”

I reached a hoof up and felt around my mane. Sure enough, the tiara that represented Diamond Tiara was missing. “Huh, it must have fallen-”

 

Just before I could complete that sentence, the world flashed white for a moment, and I could hear a strange sound. It sounded like Diamond Tiara…but I’d never heard her laughing like this. It sounded like she was… happy.

 

“Look Mommy! I won, I won!!”

 

I didn’t see anything, but I was able to clearly hear Diamond Tiara’s voice. The tone of her voice was so different from what I’d heard when watching the show on TV. It almost sounded like a completely different pony.

 

“Oh that’s wonderful dear! I knew you had it within you. And would you look at that...”

 

Another voice joined the conversation, one that I had never heard before. But from what I had heard just moments ago, it wasn’t all that hard to figure out who it belonged too. Of course, any further thoughts about it were drowned out by the ecstatic squeal of Diamond Tiara as she shouted out

 

“My Cutie Mark! My Cutie Mark! I got my Cutie Mark!”

 

With those words, the brightness faded, and I could see the concerned face of Pinkie Pie looking down at me, and I don’t mean in the glancing down at someone who’s shorter than you sense, I mean in the sense that I was laying on the ground and she was looking down at me. “Hey, are you okay? Your eyes went all shrink winky and then you fell over like this.” She then did what I suspect was an exaggeration of how I fell down, but that wasn’t important as I stood bolt upright, only one thought in my mind.

 

“My tiara’s gone!! Oh where could it have gone?” I glanced all round me, worry and dread welling up inside me as I failed in spotting it anywhere nearby “I don’t remember bumping into anything, ohh Pinkie ya gotta help me find it!!”

 

Pinkie Pie smiled and saluted, replying, “Okie doki loki! We’ll find that tiara lickety split!”

 

I could feel my heart swell up at hearing that, and I turned to run off in search of it, my mouth moving without me realizing it as I said “Come on then, if we hurry we can find it before I-Wait, you’re going to help me?”

 

Yeah, my mind wasn’t entirely there at that moment, as I’m sure you’ve already figured out. Nevertheless, it seemed odd to me that Pinkie Pie would help me look for the most important thing in the world to me right now. I could understand playing the game, its Pinkie Pie after all, but helping Diamond Tiara?

 

“Why of course silly, why wouldn’t I help you?”

 

I frowned as I stated what should have been obvious to her, saying “I published a story calling you a party animal in the Free Foal Press, not to mention I’m normally a jerk-pony whose mean to everyone?”

Pinkie got a blank look on her face for a moment, then she started snorting and giggling, which while it was nice to hear her laugh, what she was possibly laughing at was lost on me. She managed to get it under control after a few seconds as she said “Oh, that newspaper things all water under the bridge, though I don’t know what else you could have under a bridge instead of water. Maybe strawberry pudding…” She stopped to shake her head for a moment, trying to regain her focus I imagine before she continued, “And besides, I am a party animal!” She threw confetti into the air, and despite their clearly not being one present, I could hear a party horn go off as she did so.

 

“Well…that makes sense…but what about-” I tried to ask, but she stopped me by saying,

“You mean being a meanie-pants? Actually, you’ve never been a meanie-pants to me before, except the newspaper thing, and I’ve already forgiven you for that. Besides, I know how much that Tiara means to you, and I can’t stand to see anypony and I mean anypony being upset. So I’m gonna help turn that frown upside down and make those sad eye’s get all sparkly when we find your tiara!”

 

I tried to file those pieces of information away in my mind, but all I could think about was finding my tiara. It consumed my mind, overwhelming any other desires or thoughts I had. Forgotten was my plan to search the libraries magic section to see if I could find anything that could point to a way home. All that mattered was getting that tiara back.

 

“Then let’s find it before something happens to it!” With that said, Pinkie and I ran back the way we came, with only one goal on our mind.

 

~^~

 

It had been an hour since we started looking for it, and with no luck thus far. Each minute that passed with no sight of my tiara left me feeling worse and worse. Tears had already started forming in my eyes, and for some reason I couldn’t figure out why it was so important for me to find it. No matter how hard I tried to think about it, the reason eluded me.

 

“Oh its hopeless, we’ve searched everywhere!” I said, sitting down on the ground, letting the tears flow freely down my face.

 

Pinkie came over and sat down next to me, a sad and disappointed expression evident on her face. “Don’t give up Diamond Tiara, we’ll find it. We haven’t searched all of Ponyville yet…”

 

“But where else could it be Pinkie? We’ve checked all the places we walked by, we’ve asked everyone we’ve passed, and no one’s seen it!” The fact that some of them possibly wouldn’t bother looking for it or even tell me they’d seen it had occurred to me, but I wasn’t going to tell Pinkie that.

 

“I’m sure we’ll find it soon, it’s got to be somewhere around here. I mean, it’s not like it could have just vanished or something… or could it…?”

 

Despite how bad I was feeling, I had to roll my eyes at that. The idea of it simply vanishing into thin air was utterly ridiculous and not worth commenting on. I laid my head down on the ground, covering my face with my hooves as a few more tears fell onto the ground.

 

Why is this affecting me so? I shouldn’t give a damn if I have the tiara with me or not, yet I can’t stop thinking about it! What’s happening to me?

 

“Um…excuse me…uh…”

 

I heard someone talking, and it sounded like they were talking to me. I tried to place the voice, but it wasn’t one I recognized from the show, which actually meant it could be just about anyone. At that moment though, I just wanted my tiara back, and unless whoever it was happened to have it or know where it was, I didn’t give a damn.

 

“Sorry whoever you are, but unless you’ve found a small diamond studded tiara, just leave me alone.”

 

“Um…well…is this what you lost?”

 

I felt something being softly set upon my head, and without even looking I knew that it was my tiara. It felt as if I was whole again, and I lifted my head up to see who it was who had found that lost piece of me. Looking up, I saw a grey coated pegasus with light blonde hair. One of her eyes was looking down at me in a mixture of concern and curiosity, while the other looked up and away.

 

I couldn’t believe it. Ditzy Derpy Hooves was standing in front of me, and more importantly, she had found my tiara. A broad smile filled my face as I began hopping around Ditzy and Pinkie, shouting “My tiara! My tiara! You found it you found it!” Ditzy seemed a bit surprised by my exuberant reaction, though Pinkie wasn’t.

 

“Wow, where’d ya find that Ditzy? We’ve been looking everywhere for that thing.”

 

Ditzy rubbed a hoof along the back of her neck as she replied, “Well, I was doing my deliveries, and I ended up crashing again… I crashed into a tree, and right in front of me happened to be a bird’s nest with a small tiara sitting in it. I recognized it as being Diamond Tiara’s, so I picked it up and brought it with me.”

 

Well, that would certainly explain why me and Pinkie Pie hadn’t found it. Knowing that it was back however filled me with such an intense joy that without thinking about it I launched myself at Ditzy, wrapping my hooves around her neck as I gave her a great big hug, much to her and Pinkie’s surprise.

“Thank you thank you thank you! You have no idea how much this means to me!”

 

Ditzy returned the hug after a moment and gave me an awkward smile, though maybe it was awkward only because one of her eyes wasn’t looking at me. “Hey, it was no problem kid.” We both let go, and I sat on the ground next to her, the smile still on my face. Ditzy seemed like she had something more to say, as a focused look came to her face. After a second, her eyes lit up as if she remembered something, and she turned her gaze to Pinkie as she said “Oh, hey Pinkie, I think Fluttershy was looking for you earlier, I can’t remember what she wanted though.”

 

Pinkie gasped and jumped into the air at this. “Ohmygosh, I totally forgot! I have to help Fluttershy plan Angel Bunny’s birthday party today. See ya two later!” And with that, Pinkie zipped off and away, leaving me and Ditzy by ourselves. Glancing back up at Ditzy, I said,

 

“I really appreciate you bringing this to me…I was really worried I wasn’t going to find it ever again.”

Ditzy gave me another smile, this one seeming much less awkward as she tried to focus both eyes on me. “As I said, it was no problem, that bird didn’t need a tiara anyways.” She looked away from me, glancing at a clock-tower nearby. I glanced at a too, and with a gulp realized that I only had half an hour to get to Sweet Apple Acre’s.

 

“Well Miss Tiara, I got to get back to delivering the mail. You make sure to keep a better eye on that tiara of yours, wouldn’t want to go losing it again would ya.”

 

“No, I wouldn’t.” I murmured, stroking the tiara softly. Ditzy nodded, and turned, ready to fly off, but I called out to her “Hey Ditzy! Can I ask for a quick favor?” Ditzy turned and gave me a curious look, but nodded. “Could you point out which way to Sweet Apple Acre’s?”

 

Ditzy nodded and pointed her hoof in the direction of what I hoped was Sweet Apple Acre’s. “Thanks a bunch!” I shouted out, turning and running off for the Apple family’s farm. Ditzy just shook her head, a smile on her face, and went back to work.

 

After about ten minutes of running, I slowed down once I started seeing row upon row of apple trees in the distance. I took a second to reach up and confirm to myself that the tiara was still sitting safely upon my head. As I brought my hoof back down to continue walking, I stopped, a thought coming to my mind. Turning my head back towards Ponyville, then glancing up at the tiara, I asked the only thing that came to my mind.

 

“Wait, what the heck just happened?”

 

~^~

 

What indeed has just happened, eheheheheh. Is this the first instance of Diamond Tiara’s personality asserting itself, or was this entire event merely orchestrated to waste his precious time. I’m sorry to say, but you’ll have to wait for the next chapter of A Jewel of a Problem to find out, muahahahahhah!

 

Would you quit that out already? Its getting really annoying.

 

Eeenope.

 

 

 

Chapter 4-Down at the Farm

 

I trotted quietly towards Sweet Apple Acres, my thoughts still sprinting and flipping as recent events seemed to elude me. I softly jostled my head, making sure my tiara was where it belonged. Satisfied that it hadn't vanished again, I continued down the dirt path.

 

~Ehehehmmmguahaha~

 

An icy chill suddenly traveled up my backside and all the way to the tip of my nose. Wh-what the!? I took several short breaths, attempting to calm my nerves. I tried my best to ignore the crown strewn on my mane, and instead brought up my mental checklist, hoping it would help me sort out what had happened back in town...only to find it was now covered with ink.

 

~Ehehehehehehehe~

 

“Oh cmon!!!” I yelled out, my eyes darting around everywhere, even though I knew there was nopony or nothing around me. “You-uh-Annoying disembodied voice in my head!! Are you serious!? ” I cried out, not caring at how stupid I sounded.

 

Without warning, my front hooves spasmed uncontrollably, causing me crash into ground with a thud. "Ow!"

 

~BWAHAHAHAHAHA!!! ~Funnnnn~ I want do that again!!~

 

"H-Hey, what are you doi-" I tried to ask, shakingly raising myself from the ground, but again, my legs jerked and I slammed headfirst into ground.

 

~GWAHAHAHAHAHA!!!~

 

“Listen… whatever you are,” I huffed, pushing myself up. I gritted my teeth, as the thing’s gleeful cackles continued to mock me. “Stop now. Before I force you out.” The voice’s cackling grew louder. “I-I’ll tell Twilight on you.” I’d never felt so childish in my life, but combined with what had happened back in town and everything else that had happened, I couldn't help it.

 

~Oh poor itty bitty pony~ Tell Twilight ~ She’ll definitely believe youuuuuuuu… guahahah~ Oh!! And I know the perfect little song~

 

The voice suddenly started singing, and it didn't take me long to recognize the song. I furiously shook my head as the voice went on singing "They're coming to take me away", hoping that maybe that simple action would make him be quiet, but it didn't seem to do anything but give me a headache.

 

Sighing, I put one hoof in front of the other as I resumed my walk, doing my best to ignore the singing in my head. It wasn't long before I could finally see the growing form of the Apple Family’s barn, and their home just a ways past it. Row after row of Apples trees surrounded both of them, and just looking at it made my mind race with images of all sorts of apple flavored treats, and the thought of meeting the Apples themselves.

 

If I hadn't been stuck inside DT's body, it would have been a brony dream come true. But even stuck inside her, I was going to get to work alongside the apples. I picked up the pace as a small smile formed on my face, the sound of the voice's singing fading into the back of my mind as thoughts of being next to some of my favorite ponies drowned it out, and my earlier thoughts.

 

But, just when I thought I could completely ignore the singing in my head, the voice decided to change songs.

 

~I’ve got a lovely bunch of coconuts, coconuts, here they all are standing in a row!!~

 

Sweet Celestia, someone save me!!!

 

-*-

 

“Ya think she’s gonna show up big brother?”

 

Big Macintosh looked up into the air for a moment, chewing on a piece of straw as he took a moment to consider young Apple Bloom’s question. When he looked back down, he nodded his head in reply as he let out his trademark “Eeyup.”

 

“Hah, and I’m telling you that she’ll find some way to weasel out of it. That kid’s a no good spoiled brat, just as bad as some of them Canterlot ponies.” AJ replied as she stood nearby, an eye on the path that lead out to Ponyville.

 

“I wouldn’t say she’s that bad. I met some pretty snobby ponies up there when we went to see the Hearth Warmings Eve pageant. She’s still pretty bad though.” Apple Bloom commented, getting a nod from Big Macintosh and a slightly annoyed look from AJ.

 

“That’s only on account of the fact that she lives here in Ponyville. Only other richy rich ponies in town is the Spoon family, and they’re decent at least.” AJ retorted, shifting her attention back to the road.

 

The three of them were standing at the gate to Sweet Apple Acre’s and waiting for the arrival of the work-hand they’d been promised by Filthy Rich; His daughter, the spoiled, stuck up, better than thou brat that had the misfortune of living in the same town as them. AJ still wasn’t happy about it, as she had flat out told Filthy Rich she would rather work with a Diamond Dog then with his little daughter. After all, the latest incident wasn’t the first time the kid had slighted the Apple Family.

 

Granny Smith however, would have none of it, and had overridden her wishes and accepted Filthy’s offer, though why Granny thought this would do anything for the kid was beyond her. AJ had been preparing herself all morning to deal with complaints about dirtied hooves and how the work they did was ‘below her’.

 

In other words, AJ was preparing herself for one long and frustrating day.

 

“Y’all should make good on Grannys advice sis. Just take anything the kid says with a grain of salt.” Big Macintosh said, a small smile gracing his muzzle as he added “And ya might wanna start counting those bits.”

 

“What are you-” AJ tried to say, but Big Macintosh simply raised a hoof and pointed at the road, where the distant form of a small pink filly with purple and white hair was approaching. AJ’s mouth fell open as Big Mac chuckled and looked up at the sun above them.

 

“And what do ya know, she’s early too.” He added, which combined with AJ’s slackjaw expression made Apple Bloom fall into a fit of giggles. That was enough to get AJ’s attention, but the glare she gave her younger sister only caused the giggling to transform into full out laughter, which did little to improve AJ’s mood.

 

AJ started grumbling to herself, watching the approaching form of Diamond Tiara with undisguised annoyance. As the kid drew closer, she could see a look of annoyance on the filly’s own face, which oddly enough made AJ feel better. At least I’m not the only one that doesn’t find this funny, she thought to herself.

 

“Well, I have to say I’m surprised ya’ll showed up. I figured ya would have tried to weasel your way outta some old fashioned hard work.” AJ called out to the little filly as she got within ear shot. Diamond Tiara however, didn’t seem to hear her, still walking towards them. In fact, she walked right past them and AJ thought she heard a strange muttering coming from her as she passed by.

 

AJ looked at Big Mac and Apple Bloom, both of whom shrugged, before turning and asking “Uhm…did you hear me Diamond Tiara? Miss Tiara?” Sighing, AJ raised her voice and shouted “Equestria to Diamond Tiara!”

 

“Huh?” She asked, her head suddenly whipping around to look at them in confusion, as if she had just realized where she was. Unfortunately, she was still moving forward when she did so, so it was no surprise when she crashed into fence. With a yelp, she jumped away from the fence, giving it a glare worthy of Fluttershy’s famous stare before turning around and walking back over to them, a hoof rubbing her muzzle as she did so.

 

Glancing at Apple Bloom and Big Mac, both of whom looked just as confused as she was, AJ asked “Um… Are ya’ll alright?”

 

“Just peachy, it’s not like the universe is out to get me or something.” Diamond Tiara muttered, shaking her head briefly as she stopped in front of them. Her face looked rather blank, without a trace of annoyance or any emotion. The only noticeable thing was a small tick at the edge of her right eye. She closed her eyes briefly, taking in a deep breath before saying “Well, I’m as ready as I’m going to be.”

 

“Okay then, if you’re ready to get to work, I guess we can get started now. No point in wasting time dilly-dallying. You’ll be working with Apple Bloom, since you’re not big enough to be helping us with any of the other farm work.”

 

AJ expected some sort of comment, or at the very least, a roll of the eyes, but Diamond Tiara simply shrugged her shoulders and said “Alright,” before turning to Apple Bloom and saying “Let’s get this over with.”

 

Apple Bloom smiled and said “Sure thing, just follow me!” before bouncing off in the direction of the barn. Diamond Tiara just sighed and followed at a fast but resigned pace. AJ waited until they were out of sight and earshot before giving her smiling brother a playful nudge.

 

“You’ll get your bits mister, but if there are any problems with her, I’m letting you handle her.”

 

Big Mac’s smile vanished, replaced by a look of discomfort at the prospect. AJ just laughed, leaving Big Mac there as she turned and headed off for the south field, ready to get back to doing what she loved most.

 

-*-

 

Following Apple Bloom, I kept my face more or less expressionless as I went back to thinking, now blissfully free of the voice’s attempts to annoy me. Since I had bumped into the fence, it had instead been doing its best not to send itself into hysterics, and so all I had to worry about was the occasional chuckle interrupting my thoughts.

 

What was I thinking about? Many things, mysterious things, things that had been asked since the dawn of time, the very questions that bothered both mankind and ponykind… okay no, I was just thinking about how to scratch the middle of my back without hurting myself. But that wasn’t the only thing I was thinking of, oh no.

 

Ya see, with the distraction of the singing gone, and my brief interaction with AJ past, I was thinking back to my decision to try my best to behave as Diamond Tiara would. Could I actually pull it off?

Possibly, I mean I could be an asshole or a jerk at times, though it was usually reserved only for when someone ticked me off or someone else was acting like a jerk. I might have even been able to pull it off if I didn’t care about hurting other peoples feelings.

 

But I wasn’t a mean person at heart, and the idea of saying anything hurtful to anypony (unless they actually were deserving of it) here in Equestria was bothered me greatly. But what else could I really do? I didn’t want to be found out, not until I knew whether or not there was even a way to get home. Who knew what would happen if they found out?

Well, they could just believe you and try to get you home, but that’d be too nice of the universe wouldn’t it.

The voice was correct. Despite this being Equestria, I had sincere doubts how anyone finding out (and even if they believed me) that I was a human stuck inside Diamond Tiara could necessarily end well.

“Hey, are ya okay Diamond Tiara?”

 

“Hmm?” I asked, glancing to Apple Bloom to see her looking at me curiously. I looked around and noticed that we were no longer outside, but in the Apple Family’s barn. Realizing how deep in thought I must have been, I frowned and replied “Sorry, I’ve got a lot on my mind right now. What did you just say?”

 

“I said we gotta feed the animals first, then we have to check around the barn for any loose boards or anything else that needs repaired. After that, we head outside and water and check the vegetables.” Apple Bloom repeated, and I nodded to assure her I’d heard, and she added “Well then come over here so I can show ya what we got to do.”

 

We spent the next few minutes talking back and forth, Apple Bloom explaining what we had to give to each of the animals. Rather than being bored out of my mind as she expected me to be, I paid complete and utter attention so as to make sure I didn’t forget anything. I hadn’t thought about it at the time, but in hindsight, I should have known that if anything was going to make anyone think something was up, it was going to be my work ethic.

 

Once she finished explaining everything to me, I got right to work. I didn’t work more than I needed to, and I went at a pace that was, while a tad slower than that of Apple Blooms, wasn’t me half-assing it. Several times I noticed that Apple Bloom was watching me, but I was too focused on getting the job done to think much of it. She was probably amazed that I was even bothering to do the job properly, let alone the fact that I wasn’t complaining. Heh, the irony of it was that at least at home, I was lazy as could be. Doing an actual job though…

 

I poured out the last bucket of food and sighed, glad to have finished one thing on the list of things to do. I took the bucket and put it back where Apple Bloom had told me it went, then turned around to find her looking at me with the most bewildered (and somewhat adorkable) face ever. A bit surprised to see her so close to me, I gave her a confused look as I asked “Is there a reason you’re in my personal space?”

 

Apple Bloom tilted her head one way and another, the bewilderment only seeming to grow as she looked at me. I was starting to wonder what on earth…err, Equestria she was doing, when she finally asked “Why are you being so cooperative?”

 

My face went blank at that, and I responded by asking “What are you talking about?”

 

She rolled her eyes at me when I asked this, and she asked “Oh come on Diamond Tiara, you’re the most stuck-up pony in town, and I’ve never seen you willing to any hard work of any kind. Your dad had to push ya, literally, into helping with the Zap Apple Jam, and ya complained the entire time. Yet ya just helped me feed all the animals here in the barn without so much as a peep, and you were actually keeping up with me the entire time!”

 

Oh, so she was wondering why I hadn’t been moaning and groaning or dragging my hooves along. Thankfully, I had already thought of an answer to such a question earlier. Deciding now might not be a bad time to try to get into DT’s attitude, I stood up tall and, in an annoyed tone, replied,

 

“Here, let me answer that by asking you something. Has complaining about the work you’ve had to do ever got it done faster?” Apple Bloom shook her head, to which I then asked “And has dragging your hooves and not putting in any effort ever gotten you anywhere?”Again she shook her head, though this time the annoyance evident in her expression had faded.

 

“Well, there you go. Just because I’m doing this doesn’t mean I want to, because I really don’t. I have more important things I could be doing right now,” Which was actually true, but not what she probably thought I meant, “but I have to be here and I have to help, so complaining about it or not working hard isn’t going to get it done any faster. Besides, if I didn’t at least put some effort in, daddy would find out and I’d be in more trouble than I already am. So excuuusssee me if I’m trying to be smart about this.”

 

Apple Bloom seemed to mull over this, and for the briefest moment I thought that maybe I had made too much sense. Sure, I wasn’t Pinkie Pie, but from Apple Blooms point of view Diamond Tiara was probably a pony she never expected to hear anything truly sensible or intelligent coming from her…er, my, mouth. But she shrugged her shoulders and muttered “Huh, I guess I didn’t think you’d think about it like that. I guess me and AJ were both a bit wrong.”

 

I smirked, the thought of how agitated this deal with Filthy Rich must have made her. I raised my head a bit, walking past her and towards the door as I said “I may be many things, but an idiot is not one of them. Now, what’s next?”

 

-*-

 

Apple Bloom and Diamond Tiara tackled one chore after another. Normally, it would have taken Apple Bloom three or four hours just to get most of them done, but with Diamond Tiara’s help work was going by in a flash. Apple Bloom still couldn’t believe how hard Diamond was working.

 

Oh sure, she wasn’t working as fast as she was, but she wouldn’t have expected her to be able to on her first day of hard labor anyways. The fact that she was keeping up though was astounding.

 

And that wasn’t all. When they started checking for any repairs the barn needed, and when they had started pulling some of the vegetables that were dying from the garden, Diamond Tiara had asked questions on how to do the chores the right way, making sure she understood exactly what Apple Bloom was telling her.

 

Maybe she’s not always a jerkfaced filly… Apple Bloom thought to herself as she finished explaining the next chore on their list, repainting one of the storage sheds near the house. She told Diamond Tiara to wait near the shed while she fetched the paint, figuring it best to do that herself lest Diamond get lost trying to find it. It also gave her a chance to think about how Diamond was acting. This didn’t seem like how Diamond normally acted around her, but then again, she didn’t actually know Diamond Tiara all that well, although the reason would be fairly obvious to most ponies.

 

But then again, I only ever really see her at school. And she does have other friends besides Silver Spoon…Apple Bloom considered the possibility that maybe Diamond Tiara only acted the way she did when others were around, but that made no sense when she remembered how Diamond Tiara had acted when she and her father came by during the Zap Apple Jam harvest.

 

I guess I should just believe what she said earlier…she’s just trying to get this over with as fast as possible. Nopony likes getting punished for something after all, Apple Bloom thought to herself as she reached the tool shed where they had all the tools. And besides, as Twilight had once told her, “We should always assume the best in somepony, never the worst." And I guess even if it is Diamond Tiara, I shouldn't expect the worst from her without proof.

 

With this thought in mind, and actually feeling a bit better now that she wasn’t thinking bad of somepony, she grabbed the stuff they needed and then headed out of the shed, nearly bumping into her big sister in the process.

 

“Woah there gal, no need to run me over now, I know how much you don’t like doing those chores.” AJ said as she back-pedaled to avoid running over the burdened filly. Apple Bloom smiled at AJ and replied,

 

“Sorry big sis, it’s just that thanks to Diamond Tiara’s help, all my chores are a lot easier than they normally are.”

 

AJ looked at her oddly when she said that, and an eyebrow quirked up as she asked “You mean the brats actually working with ya?”

 

Apple Bloom smiled and replied, “Yup! She’s not as fast as me, but she’s not doing a bad job. And best part is she hasn’t really complained at all!”

 

The look of surprise on AJ’s face almost sent Apple Bloom into a fit of giggles, but she composed herself enough to ask “Are ya sure you’re talking about the same Diamond Tiara here? She hasn’t complained, hasn’t dragged her hooves in the dirt while working?” When Apple Bloom shook her head to both of these, AJ muttered “Something’s gotta be up here…”

 

Apple Bloom didn’t exactly like what her big sister was implying when she said that, so she said “AJ, ah know that you’re still mad at her for what she pushed me and my friends into doing, but she’s just trying to get this whole punishment thing over with as fast as she can. She doesn’t like it anymore than you do.”

 

AJ’s expression softened, and after a moment she dragged Apple Bloom into a hug as she ruffled her mane. “You know Apple Bloom, I think your right, and that’s a very grown up thing to say, even if it’s defending that brat.”

 

Apple Bloom gave her sister an awkward smile as she said “Actually, I got that from Diamond Tiara.” When she saw the incredulous look on her sister’s face, she explained how she had been suspicious earlier, but then after thinking over what Diamond Tiara had said, had decided that she was telling the truth, much as it amazed her.

 

AJ looked thoughtful for a moment, and as Apple Bloom tried to figure out what her big sis was thinking, she asked, “Where is Diamond anyways?”

 

“Oh, she’s waiting next to that shed you said needed a new paintjob. I didn’t want to have her get lost trying to find all the stuff we’d need, so I told her to stay near the shed. Why’d ya ask?” Apple Bloom replied, to which AJ smiled and said

 

“I just want to check up on our worker for the day is all. Nothing to worry your head about Apple Bloom.”

 

Apple Bloom nodded and smiled, but she sighed as her sister started ahead of her. There was no way this could end well. She shook her head and galloped after her sister, dropping to a trot as she caught up with her. They soon saw the shed in question, as well as Diamond Tiara, who was patiently sitting nearby, her eyes on the semi-clear skies above them and a smile on her face. It wasn’t the smile that normally graced her face, the one that said “I think I’m totally better than you”, but instead a sincere, calm smile. Apple Bloom couldn’t help but feel a smile of her own forming on her face as they neared, it was just infectous. Glancing at AJ however, she didn’t see the same happening to her.

 

Deciding it was best that she do something to keep things from heating up, seeing as neither of them were really happy about the situation, Apple Bloom spoke up “Hey Diamond, I’m back with the paint!”

Diamond Tiara glanced back down, the smile thinning a bit as she did so, though it vanished and was replaced by a thin line when she saw AJ. Her eye twitched for a moment, and for a split second Apple Bloom could have sworn Diamond’s eyes changed color, but it happened so fast that she took it to be a figment of her imagination.

 

“Hey Apple Bloom, Applejack.” She said, remaining where she was until they reached her. Apple Bloom started taking the paint and brushes next to the shed. “So, what color are we using?”

 

“Bright Green, since this shed is for the Green Delicious apples.” She said, looking up at the weathered shed, its previous paint job having faded to look more akin to the color of olives.

“Okay. Is Applejack helping?”

 

AJ shook her head. “Nope, I’m just here to see how you’re getting along with the work.”

 

Diamond Tiara shrugged before grabbing a paint brush and a paint can and getting to work, with Apple Bloom doing the same a second later. They took opposite sides of the shed, with AJ watching off to the side as they worked. Apple Bloom wasn’t lying when she said that Diamond was working hard to get the job done. She certainly wasn’t as fast as Apple Bloom, but for somepony who was doing hard work for the first time, she wasn’t bad.

 

Just as they were getting finished, they heard a ringing sound come out from the direction of the house. Apple Bloom put her brush down and let out a whistle as she said “Boy, I didn’t know time had gone by so fast. I don’t know about you two, but I’m starving!”

 

Diamond Tiara set her brush down carefully before looking at her side, then Apple Bloom’s. Apple Bloom’s side was nearly finished, while her own was about two thirds of the way done. She looked at Apple Bloom in confusion as she asked “Shouldn’t we finish painting the shed first?”

 

“Nah, you two have worked hard enough.” AJ said as she walked over to them, a thin smile on her face. “I hate to admit it, but you really are working hard. You’re not as fast as Apple Bloom is, but then again, she wasn’t all that fast when she started doing these sorts of chores either. I have to thank you for being willing to help us out, rather than dragging your hooves through the mud.”

 

Diamond Tiara scoffed, an eye twitching as she said “I don’t need your thanks, because I’m not doing it for you. I’m only doing it so I don’t have to do it again. If I dragged my hooves, you would tell daddy, and then I’d probably have to come back and do it all over again.”

 

AJ frowned at this, and she said “Hey, no reason to be like that. I may not like what you did, but at least I’m trying to be polite.”

 

Apple Bloom looked at Diamond Tiara, expecting some sort of retort to be coming forth from her. Her eye’s twitched again, and then she sighed and said “Fine, you’re welcome, now let’s go eat. The faster we eat, the sooner I can get back to work and the sooner I can be done with this.”

 

Diamond Tiara turned and made her way off in the direction of the Apple Family’s home, leaving Apple Bloom and AJ watching her leave, both with confused expressions on their face’s.

 

-*-

 

I can’t do it. I can’t keep it up! I haven’t even been Diamond Tiara for a day and I’m already cracking!

In case you’re wondering what I’m talking about, back when AJ told me thank you, and said that I was actually doing a good job, my first instinct was to say you’re welcome, no problem, happy to help, and of course to let out a squee worthy of Fluttershy (okay, the last parts questionable). But instead, I went with trying to keep up my act of acting like Diamond Tiara would, and taking AJ’s thanks didn’t seem like something she would do.

 

Yeah, I know, technically Diamond Tiara working hard at all is out of character for her, but I can’t help it! I may be a lazy ass at home, but at my actual workplace I have a better work ethic than half the other employees! I inherited my dad’s laziness at home and my mom and grandma’s work ethic! I’m just glad she didn’t say I was slow or doing a bad job. Any pretense at trying to be Diamond Tiara would have gone out the window right then and there if she had. Never tell me I’m doing a bad job or not working fast enough, unless you want to see me mad as heck.

 

*Sigh* Anywho, as I made my way back to the Apple Family’s home, I thought about what I had said to AJ, and about some of what I said to Apple Bloom back in the barn. I felt terrible for telling Apple Bloom that I didn’t want to help, which…well…it wasn’t completely a lie, but it wasn’t the whole truth either. I would have loved to have been helping the Apple Family with their farm work, but not as Diamond Tiara.

 

And what I said to AJ? My chest hurt, as it usually did whenever I got angry at someone or said something hurtful to someone who didn’t deserve to be treated that way, and none of the Apples deserved to be treated how Diamond Tiara would treat them, or had treated them.

 

I can’t do it…I just can’t. As both a brony, and… well, me, I cannot keep this up. But what else can I do?

 

Well, there was one way, but I wasn’t sure if it would work.

 

Back on Earth, I was a follower of the one rule they teach in school, the one rule that was very important to learn. The Golden Rule, the one that states “Treat others as you wish to be treated.”

I had learned that rule, and had taken it to heart, and maybe a bit farther than that. Those who treated me nicely, I was as pleasant as could be with, nicer than the other person even, which made them feel good and me feel all warm and fuzzy (yay fuzzy feelings!) Those who left me alone, I left them to their own devices, interacting with them only if interacted with. And those who were jerks and assholes to me? Well, I was one in kind to them.

 

What does this have to do in this situation? Patient, I’m getting there. The point is, I could act like myself, following the Golden Rule, and try to do it in a fashion that Diamond Tiara would do. I could be nice to others, but I could still have the attitude of smug superiority. I could definitively do that. And anyone who was rude or mean to me, well, I wouldn’t have to act at all. And that would let me leave everyone else alone, leaving me feeling better overall, and more importantly, keeping my brony self in check.

 

Seriously, I came really really close to losing my control back there. I’ve had to put the brony inside of me in a cement bunker now, as the chains weren’t working.

 

But there was the slight possibility, in my paranoid mind of mine, that this could lead me to getting found out. But on the other hand…

 

Considering how close I just came to acting like a hyper-crazy fanboy in front of AJ, imagine what might happen if I continue trying to be just like Diamond Tiara? Could I really truly act like her, be a jerk to ponies that I loved, respected, and admired, and still call myself a brony? Could I really be hurtful to those who helped to create a fandom that re-inspired some of my faith in humanity?

 

A rumbling sound from my stomach made me smile sheepishly, reminding me that there was a bit more pressing of a matter to deal with. Seeing that I had somehow managed to reach to front door to the Apple Family home, without crashing into anything thank the gods, I decided to put the question aside for a moment.

 

After all, to paraphrase a certain lavender unicorn, it’s better to make an important decision on a full stomach. With this in mind, I pushed the door open and stepped inside.

 

“Oh howdy there little missy! Are ya working hard or hardly working eheh?” I looked towards to sound of the voice and saw Granny Smith standing in a doorway leading into what I presumed was a kitchen. She was smiling at me in a way that reminded me of my late great-grandmother, which only served to reinforce the similarities she already shared with her, and for a brief moment I felt a pang of sadness flow through me before I managed to (somewhat) stifle it down inside me. I must not have down it fast enough, as Granny’s smile thinned a bit. “Are you okay there little miss?”

 

“It’s nothing, I’m just tired.” I replied, which was true. Work was nothing new to my mind, but it was new to Diamond Tiara’s body. If Diamond Tiara had acutally been doing it, she probably would have been ready to call it a day. Through the force of my will, I was just wishing for a short nap.

 

Granny seemed to gaze at me for a moment more, and I wondered if she was buying what I’d said. Her smile returned to its former state though as she said “Well why don’t ya come on in here then and sit yourself down and have some good ol apple fritters, fresh out of the oven.

 

I’d prefer bourbon chicken with a side of rice noodles, I thought to myself as I put a weak smile on my face and nodded. The idea of eating apple fritters, or anything sweet, for lunch, was insane to me. The fact that my sweet tooth had dulled and I was no longer a fan of sweets didn’t help much. But I was stuck in Diamond Tiara, so unless I found out that the ponies were actually full out omnivores…

 

Stepping into the kitchen, I discovered it was bigger than what had been shown in Family Appreciation Day, having more counter space and cabinets, and a longer table dominating the center of the room. Otherwise though, it looked the same as it had on TV. Sitting in the middle of the table was a platter full of fritters, with a pitcher of what I could only assume was apple juice next to it.

 

“Help yourself to as much as you want, we’ve got plenty for everyone.” Granny said, grabbing a plate for herself and putting several fritters on it before taking a seat at one end of the table. Screaming on the inside, I grabbed myself two fritters and a glass of juice and sat down at the opposite end, trying my best to not look unexcited about the fare.

 

As I dug in, discovering that they actually weren’t as sweet as I’d imagined them to be, the rest of the Apple Family stepped in, lead by Big Mac and followed by Apple Bloom and AJ. They chit chatted with Granny Smith and each other as they grabbed their own plates, each of them sitting next to each other at their end of the table, leaving me to myself at the other end. I listened to their conversation with a third of an ear as I slowly ate my food, using the time to rest and think about my situation, and what I had considered a very short while ago.

 

The meal went by rather quickly, for me at least, as I was full enough after the two fritters and three glasses of juice I’d had, but the Apples took a bit longer to finish their meals. Not knowing whether or not I could go back to work after finishing, and figuring they’d probably find it odd that I’d be so eager to get back to work, I just sat there and stared at the wall. Having already made a decision on my earlier thoughts, I instead wondered to myself what was going on back home, or more specifically, to my body.

 

“Thanks for lunch Granny, those were delicious!” I lifted my head up when I heard Apple Bloom say that, and I slipped out of my chair as she gave Granny a hug and a smile. Granny simply ruffled Apple Blooms mane as she replied in kind.

 

“I’m glad you enjoyed it sweetie, I always love getting a chance to make some fine grub for the family. And what about you Miss Tiara, did you enjoy it?” She asked, turning her smiling face towards me, her eyes gazing at me expectantly.

 

This would be the moment of truth for me. I could continue trying (and possibly failing) to try to be like Diamond Tiara, or I could choose to be myself, with the addition of some of Diamond Tiara’s attitude. I walked towards Granny Smith, looking up at her kind, caring face, and I could feel it in my heart.

 

I can’t be mean to these ponies. I just can’t.

 

I looked down for a moment, and I could feel the tension in the air mounting. I had noticed that the other three Apples were watching me carefully; Apple Bloom with a look of worry, AJ seeming to glare daggers at me, daring me to say something mean, and Big Mac looking like he normally did, stoic as always.

 

Preparing myself for whatever their reactions would be, I looked back up at Granny Smith, a smile on my face as I said “They were great Miss Smith, best apple fritters I’ve ever had.” This was actually true, as I’d never actually eaten an apple fritter, to my recollection anyways. I dipped my head slightly and added “Thank you for letting me have some.”

 

Granny Smith’s smile widened, and I heard a loud thump sound coming from the direction of AJ, a quick glance telling me that her jaw had dropped and hit the table. I would have laughed at the scene if Granny didn’t take that moment to ruffle my mane, jostling the tiara as she said “Why thank ye kindly little missy, it’s always nice to know I still haven’t lost my touch.”

 

“Hey, watch the tiara, I already lost it once today.” I said, a yelp escaping me as it tried to fall off my head, but Granny nabbed it before it could fall further than my nose and placed it back on my head. “Thanks.” I said, and she nodded her head at me as I turned my gaze towards Apple Bloom, whose eyes were wide and gazing at me in shock.

 

Smirking, I trotted towards her and said “Well, it looks like your done eating too. What say we go finish painting that stupid shed, and those other chores, so I can get out of here and you can do…whatever it is you do in your free time.” I waved a hoof in the air vaguely as I said the last bit, figuring DT wouldn’t know much about the activities of the CMC.

 

“Uhm, okay sure thing Diamond Tiara.” Apple Bloom said, and I just chuckled as I walked past her and out of the room, making my way back outside.

 

As I stepped outside, I took in a deep breath of fresh air and sighed. I had been doing what I often did when I was overwhelmed by something, over-thinking and over-worrying about the situation and making my day otherwise unpleasant. With that simple decision made, I now realized that I was focusing far too much on the negatives, and not on the positives. This was the chance of a lifetime for me, or even any brony.

 

I need to find a way home, and keep myself from getting stuck here, but that doesn’t mean I can’t make the best of this once in a lifetime opportunity. I need to do what I’ve always done, and make the best of what I have, and face everything one thing at a time. And right now, that shed needs to be painted!

 

With that thought, I cantered off in the direction of the shed, a smile on my face and a bounce in my step. I didn’t know what lay ahead of me, but I think I was more prepared for it now than I was when I left Diamonds home, and I looked forward to facing head on whatever else the day threw at me.

 

And so, another chapter of a Jewel of a Problem comes to an end. Will Cain’s new found optimism and plans lead him back to his strange world, or could it spell doom for any hope of ever returning to Earth? Well, I’m afraid you’ll just have to wait, and see, guahahahahah!

 

 

Chapter 5-First Apologies

 

-*-Apple Bloom-*-

 

With Diamond Tiara’s help, the rest of Apple Bloom’s chores went by in a flash, finishing with an hour to spare and nothing to do, which was why they were sitting in the kitchen enjoying two bottles of ice cold apple soda.

 

Diamond Tiara sipped at her soda for a moment, then laid her head on the table and grumbled “So booorreedd! Isn’t there anything else to do?”

 

“Not really, ah’m afraid any of them other chores we’d have to both be bigger and older before AJ or Big Mac would let us do them.” Apple Bloom said, then frowned and added “Ah’d have figured you’d be happy to be done with the chores.”

 

Diamond Tiara grinned for a moment. “I am glad.” Her voice softened. “But I was hoping we’d be done later, when it was time for me to go home, not with an hour to spare.” She waved a pink hoof in the air. “So booooooorreedd-”

 

“Well, why don’t ya help Apple Bloom fix up her clubhouse?” interrupted Granny Smith. “I heard her bellyaching about it a few days ago, but she hasn’t had any time lately to do anything about it.” Granny Smith rocked forward and backwards from her stool in the corner, where she was busy sorting out apples.

 

“Hey, yeah! Ah’ve been meaning to fix up some of the loose boards and take care of a few of those bent nails. Do you think AJ would agree to that?”

 

Diamond Tiara shrugged. “I’m sure she’d prefer me to be busy than to have me just sitting around drinking your supply of soda.” She said, lightly tapping her nearly empty bottle.

 

Apple Bloom hopped out of her chair. “Ah’ll go see what she thinks. Keep an eye on Granny Smith!” Apple Bloom called out the last as she neared the door. Before she stepped outside, she was able to hear her grandma’s response.

 

“Do wha?”

 

Shaking her head, Apple Bloom walked outside and looked around, quickly spotting her sister heading for their Apple cellar. “Hey Applejack!” She called out, causing her sister to stop and wait as she ran up to her.

 

“Hey Apple Bloom. Is the brat behaving herself still?”

 

“Yup, in fact we even got done ahead of time. But now she’s bored and wanting something to do, so I was wondering if I could have her help me fix up the Cutie Mark Crusaders clubhouse.”

 

AJ quirked an eyebrow up, but said “Well, to be honest sis I don’t really care what she does, as long as she’s not causing any trouble, so sure, she can go ahead and help ya’ll with that.”

 

“Thanks a bunch AJ, ah’ll go get her then.” Apple Bloom replied, turning and heading back towards the house, giving Big Mac a quick hug as she passed him heading towards one of the fields. Just as she neared the house, a soft, almost frightened voice, caught her attention.

 

“Miss Smith…can ponies change?”

 

Apple Bloom hesitated, before she decided to press herself up against the wall, listening intently as Granny Smith asked “Huh? What’s that you’re asking about little missy?”

 

“Well…it’s just that I haven’t been very nice to a lot of ponies…and yesterday, that didn’t bother me. At all. But when I woke up this morning, I don’t know, I just felt different, and thinking about everything I’ve done to ponies just made me…not feel good.”

 

Apple Bloom gasped, immediately putting her hooves over her mouth. A light sheen of sweat formed over her brow, thankful nopony heard her. She lightly used her hooves to prod her ears and make sure there wasn’t something inside them that could perhaps make her hear those words coming out of Diamond Tiara’s mouth.

 

“Ah, you’re just growing up is all Diamond,” Granny Smith’s voice grew warm. “I remember back when I was about your age there was this filly named Emerald Shine. One of the prettiest fillies in Ponyville then, but she was meaner than a dragon during shedding season. Then one day, she stopped being so mean, and was one of the nicest ponies around. She even gave me a brooch she made from an Emerald Leaf.”

 

Apple Bloom was able to pick up a hint of suspicion from Diamond Tiara’s voice as she replied “So, just like that, she stopped being mean? It was that simple?”

 

“Now that I think about it, I think she got turned down pretty harshly by a colt she was pining after, but I like to think it was more than just an attempt to prove she wasn’t just a jerk to somepony. I think everypony is capable of being nice, just as everypony can be mean. They just have to make up their mind about how they want to act.” Granny Smith said, and Diamond Tiara was silent for a moment. Just as Apple Bloom thought the conversation was over, and she could stop eavesdropping, Diamond Tiara asked

 

“Do…do you think…that maybe…maybe I could change Miss Smith? Do you think I could be like Emerald Shine?”

 

Silence followed, and with no more words coming from either of them Apple Bloom decided she could walk on in. Her jaw dropped, as she witnessed Granny Smith finishing off hugging Diamond Tiara. The pink filly seemed just as speechless, nodding numbly as Granny then patted her on the head.

 

Diamond jumped up, making sure her tiara was perched just right, before noticing Apple Bloom’s entering. “A-ah! Apple Bloom there you are!”

 

Apple Bloom rubbed her eyes, it took a moment to gather her thoughts. “AJ says it’s alright for you to help me with the clubhouse Diamond Tiara.” She stepped into the room, glancing at both of them in curiosity.

 

“Oh, okay…well, thanks for the talk Miss Smith, I have a lot to think about now.” DT said as she marched towards the door. Before she reached it, she turned and smiled at Granny Smith as she added “You know, you’re pretty smart, even for a kooky old lady.”

 

Granny’s lips turned up in a smile as she started to say “Why thank ye-hey, wait a minute…”

 

Diamond Tiara winked conspiratorially at her and laughed slightly, the sound holding no malice or haughtiness, just a good natured laugh, which Granny Smith responded with a chuckle and a wink of her own.

 

“Come on Apple Bloom, let’sget going, the sooner we get to your clubhouse-thing the sooner I can stop being bored to tears.” Diamond Tiara said as she walked out of the kitchen. Apple Bloom made to follow her, but she got a gesture from Granny Smith, beckoning her over. Gulping, she replied,

 

“Uh yeah, sure thing, I’ll be out in just a sec.” After hearing an affirmative from Diamond Tiara, she trotted over to Granny Smith to see what she wanted; though she had a feeling she knew what it was. Her thought was confirmed when Granny Smith leaned in to whisper into her ear,

 

“It’s not very nice to eavesdrop Apple Bloom. I expect you to apologize to her before she has to go home, do you understand?”

 

“Yes Granny Smith…Ah’ Pinkie Pie Promise. Cross my heart and hope to fly, stick a cupcake in my eye.”

 

Granny Smith beamed at her, tussling her mane as she said “That’s my little missy. Now go on and show Miss Tiara where your clubhouse is before she gets lost in the orchard.”

 

Apple Bloom nodded and made her way to the porch where Diamond Tiara sat waiting.

 

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The two walked on, with some of the apple tree’s being replaced by acorn, maple, and other breeds. Silence lingered between them, until it was broken up by a soft voice.

 

“Ah’m sorry ah’ eavesdropped on your conversation Diamond Tiara, it really wasn’t any of my business.”

 

Diamond Tiara looked up, giving Apple Bloom a sad smile. Apple Bloom felt her cheeks heat up, until Diamond chose to look away. She fumed quietly, as her guilt doubled. “Ah said, Ah’m sorry! Just-just don’t act like ah’m the bad mare, here...” She paused noticing Diamond trembling.

 

The pink filly shook lightly, her eyes watering. “Do you think I am a bad pony?” Apple Bloom took a step back. “I’m sorry,” whispered Diamond.

 

“Wh-What did you say!?” Apple Bloom blurted out, her mind not completely registering what she had just heard..

 

“I AM SORRY!!” cried out Diamond, now unable to control her tears. “For everything. For calling yo-you a blank flank. O-or making fun of Granny. Sh-she’s really such a nice pony. And for teasing you all the tim-ti-time...” the pink filly dipped her head, her tiara falling in the mud. “I-I’m so so-sorry...”

 

Diamond hated herself right now. She didn’t want to cry, but it was as if all of her emotions had been building up, and had finally broken through. She just glared at the ground, too frightened to look up, and she’d never felt so homesick in her entire life.

 

A soft pat, startled her. Apple Bloom had her tiara in her mouth, before placing it back on her head.

She gave Diamond Tiara a strange look.

 

“..Ah forgive you Diamond Tiara.”

 

Apple Bloom slowly patted the shaking filly, yelping in surprise as Diamond latched herself onto her.

“ACK!!!!!” Apple Bloom toppled backwards, trying to push Diamond Tiara away. “Woah there, no huggin-’ GAH!!! You’re getting mud on my mane!”.

 

They mud wrestled for several moments, before both fell over giggling.

 

Diamond Tiara gasped for air, looking up at the clouds. “So, is the clubhouse much farther?”

 

“Nooppeee, it’s not that much farther. Just another minute or two.” She paused, before squinting at Diamond. “Ah promise, if you’re just pretending ta be nice, ah’ll gladly smack you all the way to the moon.”

 

Diamond Tiara grinned, “Cutie Mark Crusader Moon Explorers!!!” She laughed before running past Apple Bloom into the forest.

 

“Yo-you can’t say that!” Apple Bloom sputtered in shock, before chasing after her. “Get back over here!!” She couldn’t stop grinning.

 

-*-Cain (Diamond Tiara)-*-

 

~Wonderful, performanceeeeee~ cooed the voice.

 

I gritted my teeth, running further into the Everfree Forest. I ducked underneath another branch, ready to spring out away any nasty surprises. The rocky terrain was rough underneath my hooves, having almost tripped over several unkempt roots.

 

~To think… Apple Bloom swallowed all your dirty lies. The old hag was even dumber. Bwahahahaha!~

“SHUT UP!” I screamed but the rotten feeling in me didn’t go away. The voice had suggested the whole idea, and I took it. My fur still had patches of dried mud.

 

The voice went quiet.

 

“Golly, did you say something Diamond!?” announced Apple Bloom, having finally caught up with me. She gave me a wide grin. “Oh!!! Here we are!”

 

I turned around. There was Apple Bloom, pointing her hooves excitedly at…

 

“Sweet holy Celestia!!! What did you gals do to that thing?” I glanced over at Apple Bloom, who looked rather sheepish as she pawed at the ground, an embarrassed chuckle escaping her lips as she glanced at the clubhouse, drawing my own eyes back towards it.

 

What had been a happy and homey looking clubhouse was now a slightly charred mess of broken smashed tiles and splintered wood. It was a miracle that the structure was still standing, what with the gaping hole in one side of it. All in all, it looked like someone had set off some dynamite. Looking back at her in shock, I asked, “I thought you said we just needed to fix some loose boards and nails!” She smiled awkwardly, leaving me to gaze at the wrecked treehouse as I added “Seriously, were you girls trying to be demolition experts?”

 

“Actually, we were trying to see if we could be Cutie Mark Crusader Al-che-mists. Ah think Ah’ve got the hang of it, and Scootaloo doesn’t seem too bad at it…but ah think Sweetie Belle missed a step or two…” She murmured, looking at the clubhouse before her eyes widened and she said “Hey, maybe we could be Demolition experts! Ah’ll have to suggest that at our next meeting.”

 

Dear god, what have I done? I thought to myself, images of Ponyville once again ruined and nearly destroyed popping into my head. Note to self, tell Granny Smith not to let them near any explosives. Out loud, I smiled and said “Well, you can’t do any of your cutie mark hunting…”

 

“Crusading.” Apple Bloom corrected me, and I dipped my head as I resumed speaking.

 

“…Any of your crusading until you get this place fixed up, and you’ve only got an extra hoof to help for a little while, and I’m still bored, so let’s get hopping.” I replied, doing my best to do a pony equivalent of ‘after you’.

 

Apple Bloom just nodded and walked over to a pile of construction and cleaning materials nearby that I hadn’t noticed, the damaged clubhouse drawing most of my attention. I trotted after her, and when I got near she pushed an apron, bucket of soapy water, a sponge, and what looked like the latex socks, over to me as she quickly began putting her own set on.

 

I looked at what she had given me, looked at the ruins of the clubhouse, and sighed, setting about getting ready for what was going to be my least favorite task today.. This was going to be one long ass hour.

 

-*-

 

Despite my utter dislike of the job, I quickly got over it and fell into the same mindset I’d had for every other chore I’d helped Apple Bloom. Humming some of my favorite tunes to myself helped, though Apple Bloom’s attempts to follow along every so often proved distracting. Excepting that, we didn’t say anything to each other that didn’t involve getting the clubhouse cleaned up.

 

“Are you sure she’s in there?”

 

My ears twitched as a familiar voice floated up to us, and I turned to give Apple Bloom a questioning glance, and she shrugged, looking as confused as I probably did.

 

“Eyuup, that’s where AJ said she’d be.”

 

I’d recognize Big Macintosh’s low southern drawl anywhere. I frowned, trying to figure out who the other voice could be as I dropped my sponge back in its bucket, flicking my ears in the direction of the large hole in the wall. “Thanks Big Mac, I think I’ll be fine from here.”

 

I crashed to the floor, scampering for the exit. I recognized that voice!

 

A hoof poked me on the forehead. I craned my neck, noticing Apple Bloom staring at me. “Ya’ll right there, Diamond?” she whispered.

 

“I know you’re in there!” said Silver Spoon, her voice dripping with acid. The glasses-wearing, prim looking filly stood tall. “So don’t bother hiding. We need to talk, now.”

 

I crumpled myself to a ball, my tiara peaking from the window sill.

 

“Don’t try that with me Diamond Tiara!” Silver yelled. “You’ve been avoiding me, and after what you did last week…” There was a brief pause, which gave me only a few seconds to wonder why on earth Diamond Tiara would be avoiding her best friend, when I heard, “Look, you’ve got a lot of explaining to do, so just get your sorry flank out here this instant!”

 

I glanced at Apple Bloom helplessly. “Help me,” I whispered.

 

The crusader blinked slowly, as if confused why Diamond Tiara was acting so…afraid.

“Hey there Silver Spoon!” hollered Apple Bloom, sticking her head out the window. She propped her chin on her hooves, “About Diamond Tiara-” She looked at me, before winking. “-Ah’m sure she’s sorry for whatever she did. But she’s not here right now!”

 

~Whats this? A member of the Apple Family lying? Ohh, I knew you’d muck up with things!~

 

Silver Spoon glared. “You’re such a liar, Blank Flank!”

 

“Hey!!! Don’t call her that!” I yelled, abandoning my hiding spot. Apple Bloom looked at me, as if I’d grown another head, before giving me a tiny unguarded smile. “Sooo…what’s up Silver Spoon?”

 

Silver Spoon’s expression shifted instantly from uncertainty to righteous fury as she shouted “What’s up? What’s up! Is that all you have to say to me after five weeks of not talking to me? Is that all you have to say to me after what you did last week with that stupid newspaper? What’s up, guh!” Silver Spoon shook her head and stalked over to one of the walls, punching it and adding a new hole to the already damaged club house. She looked back at me and shook her head sadly, saying “We were friends Diamond Tiara…why…why would you treat me like this?”

 

I saw the anger, pain, and sadness in her eyes, but I was at a loss as to what I could do. I didn’t know why Diamond Tiara had stopped talking to her, though the bit about the newspaper was leaving a nasty thought in my head. Diamond Tiara…she wouldn’t have let her paper publish a false story about Silver Spoon…would she?

 

~Oh, I don’t know, why don’t you see for yourself~

 

“Wha-” I murmured softly to myself, but before I could say or do anything else, my head started to spin and my vision went white. I vaguely heard Silver Spoon speaking to me through the sudden…whatever I was experiencing, but it was all jumbled up, so I couldn’t make heads or tails of it.

 

Suddenly, my vision cleared a bit and I looked around to see myself still in Diamond Tiara’s body, but I was no longer in the clubhouse. Instead, I was sitting inside the schoolhouse that Apple Bloom and the other children of Ponyville attended. I saw Silver Spoon slowly starting to clap, and the rest of the fillies and colts in the room soon followed suit. My eyes turned and saw Granny Smith sitting at the front of the class, and in an instant I knew when I was.

 

<They’re…they’re applauding her story? But she’s just a kooky old granny! She’s not important, she’s not special!>

 

What the heck? I thought to myself as I heard a different voice floating around me, the voice of Diamond Tiara. She had said something like that in the episode, but-oh, they must be her thoughts, which meant I was inside one of Diamond Tiara’s memories. Which seemed rather convenient to me considering, but then I wasn’t the one who had initiated this, but I wasn’t going to complain.

 

<Silver Spoon, how could you side with them? How could you side against me! It doesn’t matter if Granny Smith found Zap Apples, if it wasn’t for my grandpa Ponyville wouldn’t exist because of the stuff he helped build! My family is important, my family is special, I’m special!>

 

Someone’s got insecurity problems I thought to myself, rolling my eyes and becoming just a bit disconcerted when Diamond Tiara’s didn’t do the same. I briefly waved a leg, and discovered that I was simply an observer in this little memory when it didn’t react.

 

The classroom faded, and was replaced by the walls and desks of the Free Foal Press’s newspaper office. I was in the big swivel chair that Diamond Tiara had been using when she ran the newspaper, and Sweetie Belle was setting a story on the desk before me. Diamond Tiara picked it up and I skimmed the story and the photo accompanying it.

 

The photo was that of Silver Spoon, a paintbrush in mouth that was dripping with a grey paint the same color of her coat. And the photo clearly showed a splotch of paint covering part of her cutie mark.

<This…this is perfect! She’ll regret the day she decided to betray me for those nobodies! I won’t let anyone make me feel like nothing ever again, not after…>

 

Diamond Tiara’s voice began to fade, and the office went white as a familiar voice pervaded my mind.

 

~Well, I think that’s enough for now. Now go chat with your frienddddd, Bwahahahah!!!!~

 

“Wait! I want to know what else happened!” I shouted as everything went white again, my head spinning as the voice laughed at my discomfort. Soon, the whiteness began to fade, and through a dissipating fog I could see both Silver Spoon and Apple Bloom standing in front of me.

 

“-should go get AJ and Big Mac.” I heard Apple Bloom saying as I started to regain control of Diamond Tiara’s body. A groan escaped my lips, and alerted the two that I was coming around.

 

“Don’t bother, I’m alright.” I said, slowly lifting myself from the floor and into a sitting position.I rubbed my head, wishing the feeling that everything around me was whirling would go away. I would have gotten my wish, had a certain grey filly launched herself at me, hooves wrapping around me in a tight embrace.

 

Are hugs that strangle you common around here? I thought to myself as I pulled away from Silver Spoon enough to breathe. With fresh oxygen in my lungs, I looked at Silver Spoon and asked “What gives? I thought you were mad at me…”

 

“I am still mad at you! But that doesn’t mean I want something bad to happen to you, you’re my best friend…or at least I thought you were…” Silver Spoon replied, breaking the embrace and looking down at the floor.

 

“Silver Spoon…” I murmured, feeling a pang of guilt rising within me as I gazed at her. Diamond Tiara had been the one to make Silver Spoon question their friendship, but Diamond Tiara wasn’t the one standing in front of her. Not exactly anyways. Reaching out to her, I started out slow as I told her,

“You remember the end of Family Appreciation week right? When Apple Bloom had Granny Smith there? Well…after the end of her story, I saw you clapping, and I thought back to when my daddy was talking, and you didn’t look all that excited. I got upset, and when you agreed with what Apple Bloom said about my family…I, I just couldn’t take it!” I stomped a hoof on the ground, removing my hoof from her shoulder as I walked over to the hole and stared out at the trees.

 

“So I spent the last few weeks stewing over it, I felt betrayed and I couldn’t get the anger to go away…until I saw that story Apple Bloom and her friends wrote.”

 

“Oh…yeah, Ah’m still sorry ‘bout that Silver Spoon.” Apple Bloom said, rubbing her head briefly and drawing our attention away from each other.

 

“It’s okay Apple Bloom, I already forgave all of you.” Silver Spoon replied, before turning back to me as she asked “But I don’t get it, what did you think publishing that story would accomplish? What did you expect me to do, be happy that you made half the town think my cutie mark was fake?”

 

I sighed, digging into my mind as I tried to discern a reasonable explanation. After a moment, I said “I wasn’t thinking about you, I was thinking about me…which I’ve been doing a lot lately. I figured that embarrassing you would make me feel better, and that maybe, hah, maybe you’d come back to me and say you were sorry for siding against me that day…”

 

I felt tears beginning to form in my eye, and I wasn’t sure if they were tears of regret or tears of rage, at myself or Diamond Tiara. “I might have felt good about it before…but now…*sniff* now I feel bad about it…about it and every other mean thing I’ve done…” I grit my teeth in anger, and without thinking about it I struck out with a hoof, punching yet another hole into the wall as I shouted out

 

“I’M A BAD PONY!”

 

I slumped to the ground, tears still falling down my face as I let out some of the emotions that had been swirling around in my head all day. Maybe it was because of some lingering dizziness in my head, maybe I was already beginning to become Diamond Tiara. Or perhaps it was because of what I was doing, manipulating ponies who didn’t deserve to be lied too.

 

Regardless of the reason, I really did feel like I was a bad pony, that all the mean things that Diamond Tiara had done were somehow my fault. I didn’t want everypony to hate me, and I especially couldn’t stand the idea of losing Silver Spoon as a friend.

 

What is happening to me? What is wrong with me?

 

“Diamond Tiara…” I heard Apple Bloom say as she walked over to me, resting a hoof on my back. I turned my head to look at her, finding a soft smile on her face as she gazed down at me. “Ah already said you’re not a bad pony. If you were a bad pony, you wouldn’t be upset or sad about this, and you wouldn’t have said you’re sorry about making fun of me and my friends and family.”

 

My heart was seizing up, and in that instant I knew why I felt so bad. Apple Bloom’s words struck me deep down, and brought the reason forth to me. I was feeling guilty for lying to both of them, for lying to Granny Smith. But what could I do? I couldn’t risk finding out what might happen if they learned the truth…

 

As much as it bothered me, I needed to keep the act up for now. Celestia forgive me… I thought to myself as I said, “Yes I am…a good pony wouldn’t have published a story saying her best friends cutie mark was fake…a good pony wouldn’t have avoided her for weeks without saying a word…”

 

“Hey.” Silver Spoon said, and I turned my head towards her as she sat down next to me. “Hearing what you’ve said, I think I understand why you felt like you did…”

 

“You do?” I asked, sniffing a bit as I gave her my full attention. Despite how upset I was feeling, if Silver Spoon was somehow able to make sense of it all, I was all ears.

 

“Yeah, I mean, after all the things you’ve told me those losers back in Canterlot would say to you, I can understand why you would get upset about that day, and I’m sorry it came across that way. It doesn’t excuse what you did…but I understand why you did what you did to me.”

 

Canterlot? Losers? What on Earth is she talking about it? I thought to myself as I mulled over all of what she had told me. This was something I would have to look into when I had the time. For now, I turned my eyes back to Silver Spoon as I asked “Do…do you think you could forgive me for what I did Silver Spoon? I really do regret letting that story get published…and I’m really sorry I let my anger get the better of me.”

 

Silver Spoon seemed to look away, the expression on her face looking like she was really taking it seriously. For the briefest of instants, I thought she was going to turn back to me and tell me that no, she wouldn’t forgive me, and that she didn’t want to be friends anymore. But instead, she turned back to me and smiled slyly.

 

“I can forgive you Diamond Tiara…on one condition.”

 

Gulping as a feeling of foreboding fell over me, I asked “What condition?”

 

Silver Spoon inched closer, our snouts now touching. “The tiara.” She eyed me carefully. “For the weekend.”

 

I hesitated, just for a second. “Fine.”

 

-*-Applejack-*-

 

AJ waited quietly, occasionally glancing towards the Everfree Forest. She sighed, unable to squash the worrisome feeling building inside her. Big Mac stood beside her.

 

“Seen ‘em yet?”

 

“Nope,” clipped Applejack, her eyes scanning the tree-line.

 

Big Mac eyed his sis. “Ya’ know. Granny was spoutin’ on about that pink filly. Said she’d be a good friend for Applebloom.” AJ scoffed, still keeping her back turned.

 

“Ah reckon, she’s right.”

 

AJ glared at her brother, before slumping her head in defeat. “Not you too, Big Mac. It’s not natural. Ponies don’t just suddenly change overnight Big Macintosh, especially ponies like Diamond Tiara.”

 

AJ hoped that Big Macintosh would just leave it at that, and for the few seconds of silence there was between them, she thought that for once, he wouldn’t have something profound to say to jar her thoughts.

 

“Your right, Ponies can’t change overnight.” He said, causing her frown to turn into a smug smirk. It vanished a second later when he stated, in that special way of his, “But little fillies can grow up AJ.”

 

Silence fell between them as they waited. It was, thankfully, not a long one as soon three forms could be seen passing out of the woods and into the neat rows of the Apple Orchard. Apple Bloom, Silver Spoon, and Diamond Tiara were heading straight towards them, though they seemed to be taking their time.

 

Not interested in waiting, and wanting that brat off her farm as soon as possible, AJ set out to meet them at a quick trot. The sound of heavier hoofsteps behind her told her that Big Mac was following.

 

As they neared, AJ was able to pick up tid-bits of conversation the three were having, and she was more than a tad perplexed to see that Apple Bloom was talking amicably with Diamond Tiara, laughing even at some stuff she was saying.

 

“Hey Gals!” She called out, causing the three to pause in their tracks as they saw them approaching. “We were about to come looking for you three. What were ya’ll doing that it took another hour for ya to make it out here?”

 

“Oh, sorry sis,” Apple Bloom said, glancing back at the two fillies as she went on, “After Diamond and Silver made up, we started cleanin’ up the inside of the clubhouse. We...kinda lost track of time while we were working...”

 

AJ glanced suspiciously at Diamond Tiara, but she gave her a terse nod as she said “Well thank ye kindly for helping out Apple Bloom here with her clubhouse, and all her other chores. At least its a start on making up for all the trouble you caused.”

 

Diamond looked down, dragging a hoof along the ground as she murmured “Yeah, I’ve got a lot of work cut out for me to make everything alright,” Her gaze moved away from the ground, and she looked directly into AJ’s eyes as she said “But I’m going to do my best to make it up to everypony.”

 

AJ took a step back, startled by the young filly’s response. For a moment, she remembered another stubborn young filly pleading to Granny for forgiveness, after returning from Manehatten. Sure, it wasn’t a mistake like the one Diamond Tiara had made...but didn’t Big Mac say that fillies could grow up?

 

AJ looked towards Big Mac, before looking back towards the young filly. She rubbed her head awkwardly, stumbling to find the right words. “Ah-Ah think Ah misjudged ya’ Diamond.” She gave a heavy sigh, before giving the filly a weak grin.

 

Diamond returned the grin with a wide smile of her own. AJ was about to speak, when she noticed that for a single, brief second, something was off about Diamond’s eyes. She blinked, wondering if she had simply imagined her eyes turning yellow and red.

 

Applejack shuddered for a moment, a strange tingling sensation spreading from her head to the rest of her body. Then just as quickly it vanished, a dull throbbing sensation being the only sign that anything was amiss.

 

“Well, I better hurry on back home, I’m sure Daddy’s wondering why I’m late. Tell Granny Smith thank you for the wonderful lunch. I’ll see you later Apple Bloom.”

 

“Ah had fun Diamond...wow, never thought ah’d be saying that in my lifetime.”

 

Everypony laughed, any tension soon melting away at Apple Bloom’s words. With a final farewell from Silver Spoon and Diamond Tiara, the two fillies turned and headed back towards town.

 

AJ watched them disappear over the horizon, trying to ignore the sudden headache she was beginning to develop.

 

“You okay, sis?” Apple Bloom asked as she came over to her, looking up at her in worry. “Your not pushing yourself too hard again are ya?”

 

“Ah’m fine.” AJ lied as she rubbed her head, giving her little sis a comforting smile. But as Apple Bloom and Big Mac turned and headed back towards the house, AJ couldn’t help but look back towards town. Just after Diamond had started off, she could have sworn she had heard a familiar laugh whispering in the wind.

The Choices We Make

 

The sequel to my story, One Last Letter has begun. I'll put it up here as well. Expect at least another chapter before the end of the month.

 

 

 

The Elements of Harmony have been broken, one by one, twisted into the their polar opposites. Princess Celestia, ruler and guardian of Equestria, tried desperately to break Discord's spell on her faithful student, Twilight Sparkle. But Discord would not let her get in his way. No, he would not be stopped this time, for he had waited far too long and endured more than a millennia of pain inside his stone prison.

 

And so, with a simple wave of his paw, Discord removed that which was Celestia’s last hope for beating the Draconequus... or did he? There is still one who can save the world from his eternal reign of disharmony, and restore the balance between Order and Chaos.

 

The only question is, how will she do it? And will she come to regret the choices she makes?

-*- The Choices We Make -*-

Chapter 1

 

 

As Discord lorded his victory over the broken and defeated form of Princess Celestia, Princess Luna was only now just beginning to stir from her sleep, her head slowly lifting itself from her desk as she tried to blink the sleep away and stifle a yawn.

 

I guess I fell asleep again… Sister is right, maybe I am studying too much. She thought to herself as she stretched, working out all the kinks that came from falling asleep in front of a desk. A quick glance at the clock sitting nearby informed her that she had woken up just in time to end her sister’s day and begin her beautiful night. It was such a simple feat, yet it always brought her such joy. To be able to raise the night for her subjects once again... it was her dream come true.

 

It was also a perfect way to wake herself up after her unintended nap. With that thought in mind, she got up from her desk and turned towards the archway leading to the Lunar Balcony. The walk helped in clearing the fog from her mind, and she brushed aside the dark silk curtains as she stepped onto the balcony, ready to raise the moon and bring forth the stars of the night.

 

But instead of seeing the sky in its wonderful colors of twilight, she was startled to find it a sickly green, the clouds a bright pink, and the land covered in various multi-colored patterns. And that was only the beginning. The city of Canterlot below had been turned upside down -literally in some places- with towers and homes and the lands they were attached to floating upside-down here and there.

 

A loud croak startled Luna, and she looked up to see a rabbit floating in the air above her. It let out another croak, and opened its mouth before whipping out its tongue, snagging it on a head of lettuce floating nearby. The strange animal happily munched on its lunch before belching in Luna’s face and swimming away.

 

For a moment, Luna just sat there, too stunned by what she had just seen and witnessed to move. But then, her mind caught up as two very important facts became clear to her; that she was now wide awake... and that Discord had returned.

 

“Celestia...” She murmured, a feeling of worry flowing through her as she turned and galloped back into her room. As soon as she reentered the abode, she swiveled her head swiftly to the right and left as she searched for the crystal they used to speak with each other when they were separated from each other by their duties. She quickly found it resting on her desk, and chastised herself for forgetting it was there. Her horn lit up with a dark blue aura as she grasped the crystal with her magic, but just as it was beginning to rise off the desk, her own aura was suddenly replaced by a new, golden light, and she heard a soft giggle coming from the direction of the door.

 

Luna turned her head to the entry, seeing the tip of a long white horn poking past the threshold, as well as the tip of a snow white muzzle. “Sister! Thank goodness you’re alright!” She cried out, her focus moving away from the crystal completely, allowing the gold aura of her sibling's magic to encircle the crystal and bring it towards the door. Luna watched in confusion as it floated next to her sister, who plucked it from the air with her mouth and turned away, galloping further into the hall outside her room

.

“Wait!! Come back!” She called out, dashing after her sister into the darkened hallway. Discord's influence could be seen here as well, but she had no time to reflect on the changes as she saw her sister’s tail disappear around a corner. Breaking into a gallop as she gave chase, she frowned, murmuring “What’s going on? Doesn’t she realize that Discord’s on the loose?”

 

The chase went on for some time, as every moment that Luna would catch up to her sister, she would vanish around a corner and then reappear down the other end of a corridor, or inside of a nearby room. The chase was beginning to annoy Luna, but her irritation was beginning to be overtaken by something else.

 

Each time she had gotten close to her sister, she had noticed that something was off about her. Celestia's normally pristine and white coat seemed duller, and her flowing mane had changed, reverting back to the bright pink shade it had been in the days before she had used the Elements of Harmony against her sibling's darker self.

 

Something was wrong with Luna's sister, and she was going to find out what it was... if she could just catch her!

 

After what felt like an hour (but with the chaos present it could have been a week for all she knew), she finally cornered her sister in front of the doors to the throne room. Unless her sister felt like breaking a window, there was nowhere else to run.

 

“Celestia, what is going on? Why do you keep running from me? Can’t you see what’s happening?” She asked, keeping a short distance between herself and her sister. Celestia simply giggled as she dropped the crystal from her mouth and replied,

 

“Oh Lulu, I’m so glad you followed me! I’ve got something really fun I want to show you!”

 

“Fun? Sister, stop this nonsense at once! We must gather the Elements of Harmony and their bearers. Discord’s broken free and we-”

 

Celestia laughed and flashed Luna a very cheerful smile, but as Luna looked at her sisters eyes, any thought that her sister was ‘happy’ began to vanish. “You silly filly! We don’t need those silly necklaces or those... ponies... anymore. Just follow me in here and you’ll know that everything is going to be fine!”

Before Luna could say anything further, Celestia turned and pushed the doors to the throne room wide open, bouncing in with a wide smile. Luna however, could only look inside with shock.

 

If it had been crazy outside, and just plain weird inside, the throne room was now the very picture of chaos. Several pink rain clouds floated in the room, raining chocolate milk on the floor, which had changed from its polished marble to... well, too many things to name. At the center of it all, sitting in what had once been their throne, was none other than Discord himself. He turned an eye towards them when the doors opened, and a twisted smile lit up his face as he slithered over to the bouncing form of Celestia.

 

“Well done, Celly dear. I knew you’d be able to bring her to me. Here’s the lollipop I promised you for being such a good little princess.” He reached into the air and pulled out a bright yellow, sun-shaped lollipop.

 

Celestia clopped her hooves together with glee, taking the offered sweet with a smile and giving it a lick, her face becoming one of pure bliss. She walked over to the draconequus and gave him a hug as she replied, “Thank you daddy Discord, it’s delicious! Can Lulu come play with me once you two are done talking?”

 

Discord’s dark smile widened further, and he pet Celestia on the head. His gaze turned to Luna as he spoke. “Of course Celly! After all, you two can do whatever you want now. But first, I need to have that chat with your sister, so why don’t you run along now.”

 

Celestia nodded, and waved to Luna (whom, in her shocked state, simply waved back), before taking to the air, exiting the throne room via a hole that now sat in the ceiling. Luna stared at the spot where her sister had exited, her mind reeling as it tried to comprehend what had just happened.

 

“Confused, Lulu?” A voice rang out, and Luna turned to see Discord floating near one of the windows, his eyes roaming across the castle courtyard. One eye turned its attention to her, and she could feel the anger and rage rising up within her as he smirked at her. “I thought you might be. You really did pick the wrong time to take a nap my dear.”

 

Luna gritted her teeth, an urge to lash out at the spirit gnawing at her mind. The only thing keeping her from doing so was the memory of their last fight ages ago. She knew her magic wasn’t powerful enough to hurt the spirit, so she settled for interrogating him instead. “What did you do to my sister Discord? And how did you manage to escape the prison we put you in?”

 

“Hmm... where should I begin? Oh, I know! Let’s start with one year ago. Today, in fact. Well, technically tomorrow since I’ve reversed the positions of the sun and moon...” He replied, rambling for a moment before continuing.

 

“You see, dear Lulu...”

 

“Don’t call me that you monster. Only my sister can call me that.” Luna said, sending him a glare that would have killed if it could. Discord merely chuckled, and with a snap of his fingers, there was a brief flash above Luna's head. Looking up, she saw a floating nametag above her reading, ‘Hi, I’m Lulu’. Scowling, she used her magic to throw it in Discord’s general direction, but he simply skipped out of the way with a laugh.

 

“Guahahah! Oh, how I have missed you too Lulu. Your temper is still the same as ever I see.” He chuckled again, grabbing a stray cookie that had floated into the room. “Now, where was I? Oh yes. You see, one year ago when you returned to Equestria as Nightmare Moon, your precious Elements of Harmony gained new bearers. This in turn, broke the connection you and Celestia had possessed when you used them on me. With that out of the way, all I had to do was simply wait for some discord to come my way. And thanks to three little schoolfillies, I finally had all I needed to break out of that barbaric stone prison you two placed me in.”

 

That made sense to Luna, with what she knew of the Elements of Harmony. Despite her transformation into Nightmare Moon and having the Element's power used against her, the spell she and Celestia had used to bind Discord to stone had remained. But with new wielders, it would require a renewal of the spell to maintain the prison. Looking back, she wondered why her sister hadn’t instructed the new bearers to do so after she had been freed.

 

But there was no time for that now. She needed to know what he had done to her sister, and to the Elements themselves. “What about my sister Discord? Your magic isn’t supposed to be able to affect us directly, just as our own cannot affect you.”

 

“Ohahahoh, yes! My crowning achievement, I must say. Watching her will break was most enjoyable. But I think I’ll show you the answer, rather than bore you with more unnecessary drivel.”

 

With a snap of his fingers, the throne room around them vanished, and they were inside Celestia’s study. She saw her sister talking with Discord, watched as he showed her each of the corrupted bearers of the Elements, and watched as her sister began sending off all of the friendship reports her pupil Twilight had sent her. The scene shifted, and the two of them were standing in a small bedroom. A faded purple unicorn was writing something on a scroll, and when she finished, they followed her outside to find what had once been Ponyville, now twisted and changed by Discords magic. She watched as a small dragon burst the scroll into flames, sending it off towards Canterlot.

 

The scene shifted once more, returning them to Celestia’s study. “Now watch... as harmony dies...” Discord whispered to her. And watch she did, as she saw her sister’s heart break, her will to fight vanishing as she read the letter that appeared. Luna could feel her eyes tearing up as she felt the pain her sister was going through. She wanted to reach out to her, tell her there was still hope, still a way to beat him, but she knew that she couldn’t. Not in this vision Discord was showing her.

 

Even though she wished dearly to believe this was all a lie on the Draconequus' part, she knew it wasn’t, simply from having already witnessed his influence spread throughout Canterlot, and from what he had done to her sister.

 

The study faded, and they were back in the throne room, standing next to the windows. Luna watched through them as her sister played outside, jumping up and down on a pond of gelatin.

 

“So you see, Lulu, there is nothing you can do. The Elements of Harmony have been broken, your sister has been broken, and all that’s left is you, my dear. Resisting will only make the pain worse, you know.” Discord said, resting his talons on her back in a soothing manner. “Just forget about your duties, your responsibilities, and you and your sister can spend the rest of eternity doing whatever it is you want... just the two of you... without a care in the world. I know how much you miss those days, back before you two became princesses, and had to start following all those rules and regulations. They can be all yours again... if you just forget.”

 

“Forget...” She murmured, repeating it to herself. How easy it would be to just forget about Equestria, about responsibility. She wouldn’t have to worry about all the pain and damage Discord was causing. She could just go right out there and play with her sister, laughing and playing like the fillies they had been so many ages ago. After all, he was right, wasn’t he? She was alone now. There was no one who could help her defeat him. The elements were gone, her sister discorded, and Equestria descended into chaos. Hope was lost...

 

There is always hope, my dearest child.

 

Luna’s eyes widened as a soothing, warm presence slipped into her mind, banishing her doubts and fears, shedding light on Discord’s words. As it worked its way through her, filling her with a sense of purpose, she saw Celestia turn towards her, a silly grin plastered across her face as she waved at her. Luna waved back, but as she did so, she looked straight at her sister’s eyes. They were glazed, looking as if any hope or happiness had been sucked dry from them. But deep down, in a place where Discord’s magic could not reach, she could feel it. Her sister was counting on her, and all of Equestria was as well. It was a heavy burden, but she had already spent 1000 years with the burden of her sins. She could carry this one as well.

 

“You’re wrong Discord... there is something I can do. And I don’t care if it takes me till the end of time, I will find a way to beat you at your game.” She said, turning away and glaring at him, a smirk crossing her lips as she saw his look of surprise. But his surprise did not last long, as he smirked back, chuckling at her defiance.

 

“Well Lulu, if you wish to play it that way then by all means, go ahead and try. I assure you that you're only making this harder for yourself. If you wish to drag things out, it will only make the game more fun for me. But, if I may make one suggestion…” He laughed, pointing a talon at the window, “Perhaps you may wish to entertain your sister for a bit, before she starts thinking you don’t care about her. You wouldn’t want to break her anymore than she already is, after all! Guahahaha! Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’m late for a duck shower over Trottingham. It should be fun watching everypony run around like chickens with their heads cut off.”

 

He vanished, leaving Luna all by herself in the throne room. As much as she believed what she had told him, she did not look forward to the idea of spending the rest of eternity trying to stop him. But if that was what it took to bring her sister’s real smile back, and to save the land she called home, than she would spend that eternity doing so. So long as she held hope in her heart, Equestria would live on.

 

A slight tapping noise drew her thoughts back to reality, and she saw her sister tapping on the window. With a heavy sigh, Luna gave her sister a warm smile and nodded to her, spreading her wings out as she took off and made her way outside towards her sister. As she landed on the ground next to her, she cast a glance up at the sky and made a solemn vow to herself, to her sister, and all of Equestria.

 

I’ll play your game for now, Discord. But all games must come to a stop eventually. And someday, I’ll bring your reign of chaos to an end.

 

 

 

Thoughts? Comments?

I just had a random thought here, but the old fantasy safety net (A wizard did it) just came to mind. Given that Equestria is a magical land, and logic is more of a suggestion than a law, what if meat is grown rather than harvested?

 

Hot dog trees, Ham-bushes, the haggas plant?

 

Given that we are discussing a fantasy world, why not?

 

That's more within the realms of Discord than anything else, plus we have seen no sign of such a thing.

 

Hey, they eat cupcakes, and cupcakes have meat in them kidding.... Anyway I think that they're diets consist of vegetables in the same way that our diets consist of wheats veggies and meats. But I think they probably eat as common as humans eat celery. Or they may have meat themed foods on holidays, or on special diets to gain weight. And anyway it makes sense. Why else would Applejack have pigs if she couldn't eat them? They can't provide a good source of milk and are basically worthless besides being used as garbage bins for rotting apples.

 

The pigs are supposedly used to gather truffles, but otherwise I see no use for them. Plus, dogs can be trained to hunt down truffles, which means there's really no reason to have pigs.

 

A friend of mine, Kyronea, once when I mentioned such to him pointed out two things. The first was that there has been at least one instance where a pony is shown having pointed teeth (Rainbow Dash during the GGG, at one point in her attempts to get the wonderbolts attention. He also made the point that theoretically, due to the brain size they'd likely need to be as sentient as they are (I am very much paraphrasing here, so don't hold me to it) that it would make sense for them to eat meat to gain more calories to power their bodies, or some such.

So as to make it so people don't have to travel over to FIMFiction.net's group Anti-TCB, I'll just post some of the idea stuff here.

 

Basically, I'm looking for those who may be interested in helping me write a sort of WWZ styled (or I suppose in a sense one can say also TCB: Not Alone style as well) TCB story, that has Celestia and Equestria starting out closer to canon personality wise (though I think them having a decent bit of xenophobia isn't a bad thing) that eventually, after a few diplomatic incidents, lead to Equestria (under a theoretically crazed Celestia/Nightmare Flare) to go on a crusade to try and convert all of humanity to ponydom.

 

Now, for those who wish, the thoughts and such I've had that I've posted on my thread in the Anti-TCB group. You can find the thread here if your interested.

 

I've recently been taking a look into the Conversion bureau of late, and due in part both to anti-TCB comments from a friend of mine, as well as my fascination with alternate history and sci-fi, I've gained an interest in trying to make a realistic TCB story, one that shows the bad and good of both sides, as well as taking care of other, far more interesting aspects that would come from Equestria being in our world.

To that end, I'm looking for both people willing to collab such a story, and people who may have the knowledge to contribute ideas or suggestions that will make the story both more interesting and realistic.

To start with, the scenario I had was for a landmass to appear in the middle of the Atlantic Ocean in late 2011 or Mid 2012. (the landmass can be seen in this map) I also had the thought of putting Equestria's civilian/domestic technology as roughly equivalent to our own (perhaps a decade behind or two) while its military technology is roughly 1920's to 1930's.

Now, there's a few things I want some help on, one of which I think in this scenario could have very interesting consequences. What effect would the sudden appearance of Equestria as shown on the map have on Earth's climate? Could it theoretically destabilize the gulf stream? Could Equestria's controlled weather systems cause havoc with the natural weather systems of Earth?

Of course, questions on why the ponies would end up coming up with the idea of "ponification", with both good and bad intentions, is a requirement, as is figuring out how the world would react to such a sudden change. There is of course the questions of just how much influence magic would still hold both within and outside Equestria.

Overall, I'm wanting to shoot for something similar to the story I'm about to read, TCB: Not Alone, which is giving me a World War Z vibe.

 

The first chapter will focus on the week leading up to Equestria’s arrival on Earth, with journals and diary entries as well as blogs and newspaper articles that cover the time period from both sides perspective. On Earth, in the central atlantic, a hurricane like weather system begins to develop, but not move, puzzling the scientific community. Within the area of the storm, EM surges begin to interfere with any advanced electronics system, making study of the strange phenomenon difficult. On Equestria, some of the weather begins to act strangely, while the Princesses both sense a rising surge of magic within their lands, though they are unable to determine what it is.

At the end of the week on Earth, a force-field comes into being around the edges of the storm, and it rages for several hours before a bright flash occurs, and once the flash dissipates, the storm and the barrier are gone, but in its place is a new landmass…Equestria.

Now, one of the things I’d considered was tweaking aspects of the TCB universe to make things more interesting and to an extent, more canonical to the show itself. For example, one focus of this collab story idea is to make the mane six and Celestia act as in character as possible within the confines of the TCB universe, as well as Equestrians in general. Another aspect, the barrier, I wish to find realistic reasons for its existence, for the thought I had was that initially, there is no barrier. The second thought coming to my head in regards to this was that Earth’s weather patterns begin to have a major effect on Equestria’s own weather, so Celestia erects a barrier to keep the weather systems separate from each other (which would have consequences for Earth) The barrier could then be modified at a later date to say keep out electronics, or humans in general.

Another thought I had was coming up with an origin point for the Conversion Bureau’s themselves. I had the idea that initially, the conversion potion would be conceived by a pony trying to help humans eliminate some of Humanity’s worst diseases. The after effects however (wiping of their former personality, basically) makes the its use controversial (I figured a reference to mutant cure protests from X-men 3 could be made here)

Now, how to have things end up going south between the humans and equestrians? The idea came to me that the shift from their world to ours would cause mental/psychological stress on Celestia (and possibly Luna, though I prefer her to remain the stable one in this case) for she has lost connection to the sun (after all, Sol is not the star she was born to move, and she can’t move it anyways in our world) This could eventually lead her to take actions that might not be what she would normally consider taking, with the end goal of Celestia going coocoo. Combined with any number of possible diplomatic incidents gone bad, and well…

Something I seemed to have noticed in TCB stories so far is a lack of any recognition of Discord. At most he, gets a small mention. I had the thought of changing that, with the idea of making him not only responsible for the shift itself, but being the one subtly influencing events behind the scenes to ensure humanity and equestria will cross blades.

 

I've been thinking about this while at work, going over various ideas and thoughts, such as the idea of Celestia ending up going Nightmare on folks, banishing Luna and the EoH to the moon, imprisoning Twilight in the Canterlot dungeons forcing the mane five to rescue her and then with human help get to the moon and freeing Luna, and with Nightmare Flare declaring total war against the human race by launching potion laced chemical missiles at the world. But that was just one idea I had

Inspired slightly by TCB: Not Alone, I had the thought that the initial disputes and problems between Equestria and humanity could be through the nation of Portugal. I had the thought that after Equestria created the bubble to keep separate Equestria and Earth's weather systems, a need to expand the bubble might occur, which could end up bringing the Azores within the bubble (this would be a problem for the reasons of A: the magic of the bubble does generate sort of low level "magical radiation" that is not only harmful to humans long-term (some can adapt to it, but not all) but also B: interfere's with advanced electronic devices and signals.) This, combined with some influence from Discord on human politicians and media outlets, and with a little bit of him tugging on Celestia's mental stability, would result in a conflict between the two (with probably Portugal attacking to potentially prevent the invocation of Article 5 of the NATO treaty.)

 

I've come up with the start of the first chapter for the fanfic, which I have two title ideas for. TCB: The Equestrian War, or TCB: The Equestrian Crusade. I decided that sense part of the idea is to base it somewhat off of WWZ, I started the chapter off with a Preface from the perspective (NOTE: The chapter is not JUST a preface, but also the prologue)

https://docs.google....MwIpcsg0_k/edit

Here's the link to what I've got so far, if anyone thinks they can add something to the preface to make it better go ahead and do so, I've edited the share so that anyone can edit it. If I need to I'll make it so that only those I approve can edit it, but for now I trust folks to be polite and such

If there's anyone who knows anything about climate stuff, that'd be a big help. I had the thought that the opening story would be from a recording of a live newscast, which gets interuppted by reports of a strange hurricane like storm system appearing in the middle of the atlantic.

 

We know they eat eggs. That would explain why they keep chickens. And they have cows for milk and sheep for wool.

 

What I want to know is why the ponies keep pigs in pens? What do Pigs provide other than meat?

 

To look for truffles or some such I believe, if I'm recalling correctly.

Their hotdogs are made of a mix of leftover vegetables that were grinded up to make a vegetable equivalent of spam which can be molded into the shapes of hotdogs. (most likely not true but there also isn't any evidence to prove it wrong)

 

Well, we don't know what other things they may eat. The hot-dog could be made out of chicken/turkey instead of pork and beef as it usually is.

Alright, so supposing for a moment that Nightmare Moon beats the Mane 6 and takes over Equestria (lets also assume for a moment that her endless night doesn't bring about the extinction of all life on the planet, via some strange illusion or what not), what do you think would happen if Discord got loose while she was running the show? Would she simply take him on, and would it be an even match? (she was more powerful than Celestia after all) or would Discord mop the floor with her. Or would he even do anything?

 

And supposing Nightmare Moon couldn't beat him on her own, would she try to get the Mane 6 to help her by using the Elements against him?

 

Thoughts please

I can see where you're coming from with this argument as even when I saw them eating eggs for breakfast my first thought was, "that's not a very pony thing to be eating", but I think their intention is for them to be herbivores. It's simply very difficult for the writers to avoid certain cultural references as they themselves were most likely raised in a meat eating culture and no matter how hard you try something of that is bound to slip through into your writing. Hence the turkey and hot dog comments.

 

I must admit, those are some well caught phrases you presented for evidence.

 

It was oddly enough while trying to decide whether to make the ponies be omnivores in a fic I'm writing, and then the hot dog line just popped into my head (I blame pinkie ), and I then recalled the trussed up like a turkey line. It just made no sense for such a phrase to be in their vocab if they didn't truss up turkeys and cook them.

soydogs. I'm just sayin'

 

also pinkie said that they were vegetarians in over a barrel.

 

Just throwin' those out there for ya.

 

I pointed out however, if you didn't have meat based hot dogs in existence, why would you have vegetarian hot dogs and still call them hot dogs? That to me enters Alien Space Bat territory. I mean, if we didn't have meat-based hot dogs, I don't see why we would create a soy/non-meat based version, nor why we would call it a hot dog.

 

Never said canon can't be conflicting!

We can only goes on Pinkie's word (which can be difficult to do at times), so we have to fill in the mental imagery with our own concept of what a hotdog is. In truth an Equestrian hotdog may be a vegetarian substitute; I suspect such would be the case in a world occupied by friendly equines. It seems as if the writers have gone out of their way to avoid having the ponies eat meat products and have consistently emphasized their herbivore nature (most of their food is explicitly vegetation).

 

I did suggest the possibility that Pinkie Pie was doing some 4th wall breaking there in that scene, which could to an extent explain Spikes confused response.

Eh, it's a cartoon, details for meat may not be 100% accurate. Not saying no, but I'm not closing my idea to onions either.

 

I won't discount it being onions either, it just looks more meat colored to me. I'm half tempted to say that whatever it was must have been a thing just suddenly tossed in there and not given much thought.

Vegans, vegetarian, I don't bother too much in differentiating them. Some 'vegetarians' will eat eggs, so long as they are unfertilized, but no herbivore as far as I am aware does.

 

Vegans will not eat anything that is meat or comes from animals. Plants, and I mean plants, only. Vegetarians differ, some will eat eggs, some will eat fish, others won't, some will drink milk, etc.

 

EDIT: What's Lauren Faust's Deviant Art page, I want to message her and see if I could get some kind of word of faust from her.

Or we're all over analyzing this show because they SPECIFICALLY say in multiple episodes that they're vegetarians. Yeah, they mention meat food, writers error. Nothing more.

 

Its not just a writers error, it's also an animators error. We've seen them make Eggs. Eggs are meat. Not too mention the fact that they use eggs in the baking of all their sweets and such.

 

Besides, we're nerds, over-analyzing a show is what we do.

 

No, that looks purple to me, aka onions. I think that particular sandwich is a vegetarian option xPP

 

 

Zoomed in, it's color is less purple and more a sort of reddish-purple brown color. It looks like the color I'd use for sliced roast beef or for salami. I'd use a deeper purple or a purple red for onions. Besides, wouldn't the inner part that can be seen be a purplish white?

 

Okay, first of all...

 

 

 

I believe eggs are dairy. I don't know how they would even be confused with meat.

 

The idea of eggs being dairy makes absolutely no sense to me. If allowed to actually grow as their supposed to, they become live chickens. Besides, not all people mix milk into their eggs (its the only way I can even consider them being dairy.)

 

THANK YOU WIKIPEDIA!!

 

USDA[/url]) categorizes eggs as Meats within the Food Guide Pyramid.

http://en.wikipedia....wiki/Egg_(food)

Makes sense to me. Obviously, they were intended to be vegetarians, sticking mostly just to horse foods (Hay and the like), but just by "humanizing" the ponies, it made them omnivores, because humans are omnivores.... If that makes sense to you...

 

I think to an extent it might have been an accident on the part of the shows creators. I'm tempted to try and contact Lauren Faust and get a Word of Faust on this (after of course presenting the evidence to make sure an informed decision is made)

I don't think Ponies farm animals and send them to slaughterhouses like us, or have anything like a Steakhouse or Mcdonalds restaurants.

 

But I guess they do harvest eggs from Chickens in order to make cakes and stuff.

 

They are Omnivores, but they do not need meat to survive, so I would guess most are vegetarians.

 

That's my thought. They follow a diet based heavily on vegetables, but have meat in there sometimes.

In the opening scene to Canterlot Wedding, Dash was eating a sandwich that appeared to have had a type of meat in it, too. But upon closer examination, it appears it just vegetables and some cheese.

 

 

But nonetheless, pinkie's line among other lines would hint towards it, so there's not much to say other than I agree with this premise, so that's that.

 

Actually, look carefully at that picture, very carefully. I see something that looks vaguely like Salami hiding between the cheese and tomatoes.

 

However, I don't think their as big meat-eaters as us, not on the scale we do anyways, but I do believe that they eat meat.

Still under myself, silly filly, but yes, you can have your silly little titles, all of you can, if you wish.

 

Its not a silly title. now a silly title would be "Supreme Overlord and Chancellor of the Rasberry artillery division"

After some checking....I believe I can safely say that the Equestrians are omnivores. My proof?

 

Well, for starters, we have the fact that they eat eggs, and unless I'm mistaken eggs are considered meat. Secondly, we have what looks like a deli-meat sandwich in the episode A Bird in the Hoof. We have also seen (at least once to my knowledge, though I could be wrong) a set of sharp teeth (Canine teeth, incisors, whatever you call them).

 

But more importantly, I just recalled something from the episode Fall Weather Friends, or rather, two somethings. The first, though not what really got me thinking about this, is that AJ says that Rainbow Dash is "trussed up like a turkey" after she ties her wings. I cannot think of any reason other than cooking a turkey that one would need to truss up a turkey, though if anyone can enlighten me on a reason that doesn't involve cooking please do so.

 

The main thing that got me really thinking this though was a comment from good ol Pinkie while she was commentating. Its possible (though very slim in my mind) that it was some sort of weird 4th wall breaking slip up, but since Spike didn't seem completely confused by what she said, (more like he was getting to much of an overdose of being near Pinkie being Pinkie in my mind, she can be the embodiment of the Chewbacca Defense after all) I have to think that this does indeed imply that the ponies eat meat.

 

What exactly is it that spirred this reignition of such a thought in my brain? This line.

 

Pinkie Pie: I'm not sure how ketchup is going to help her in this contest. Now, in a hot dog eating contest it can make them doggies nice and slippery, but personally I prefer mustard. How about you, Spike?

 

This line makes me have to stop and ask, how in tartarus's name would a species of herbivores know about hot dogs (thus the reason I implied the slim possibility of it being a case of 4th wall breakage)? It made no sense to me, because I find the idea of them coming up with vegetarian hot dogs without having meat-based hot dogs, not to mention calling them the same thing, to be within the realm of ASB (this, while talking about a show where there actually is an ASB sitting around )

 

So, from that piece of information and other tiny things (I'm sure if I go hunting I can find more) I have determined, in my head canon at least, that the Ponies of Equestria are definitively omnivores. Obviously, as I would like to assume we wouldn't, they don't eat anything sentient (and I could theoretically see Fluttershy being a vegetarian for the most part) but overall, they are omnivores just like us, only with a slimmer selection of what they are willing to eat.

 

 

I felt like sharing this weird/random rant on a possible fact of Equestria with you all. I am interested in your own thoughts on this.

 

Also, could I have a rank Sergeant-at-Legs to give me enough un-authority I will need when disorganizing the legions of Chaos ?

 

Certainly, after all, I made myself the self-proclaimed general of the legions.

i will... WHO WANTS CHEESE!

 

That...is very disturbing 0_0

Gamecube Memory Card. I'm not quite sure what my talent would be here. Would it mean I'm good at memorizing things, that i can fix memory cards, that I am a living gamecube memory card in pony form?

 

...and suddenly, I have a brief but simple idea for a fanfic

I asked if you were getting technical. And I know it's not allowed.

 

Actually, you were asking Solarwind, I just felt like responding to it.

 

 

Come now, using our abilities of wit and reactions is not to be used only here, but across le board, on all the unsuspecting ponies. Go forth, brethren. Spread Discord.

 

This is true. But before I go forth spreading chaos, I shall leave you all with a gift!

 

Behold the horror!!

 

*snip*

I see your We shall see and raise you a bitch please.

 

 

Are you getting technical about it?

 

HEY!! No getting technical allowed! Not unless I get to take something apart.

You can remain general, and I approve of your signature promotion. I myself, represent Discord's presence itself in our little disorganization.

 

Why thank you for the first part. I figured it'd be a bit more interesting if I made mine different from yours. I'd add little sprites of pink clouds raining chocolate milk, but I don't know where any are unfortunately.

 

As for the second part...we shall see...

 

I too will join. After all, I already have considerable skills in madness.

 

 

We now return you to your daily dose of pony.

Chaos, sweet sweet chaos. Without it, life would be so droll and boring, and nothing would change. I'd rather have a day full of chaotic excitement than one filled with stagnant, boring order.

 

Or, at least, someone else's order. If I'm the one going around imposing it, well, guahahahah!

 

I'm ready to join you on this ride to oblivion my dear sirs. Lets push it into full throttle and than smash the controls! Geneal Rainbow Sparkle is ready to spread some chaos!

Well what do you need me to edit i need to know? I will edit it to fit it but to my opinion hank fits this rp really well. So what do you need to edit

 

Well, for a start, your character won't be wearing the robes, he'll be in a military-esque jumpsuit of some sort for a while. the Endlessly usable grapple hook also has to go, as does his ability to turn into a pony (that, without a doubt, MUST go) His back story...makes no sense actually, even outside the context of this RP. It says he's a mercenary, that someone made an AI of him, and that he can turn into a pony. Those are the only things that really stand out.

 

Plus, holograms that grant him special abilities? If I didn't know better, I'd say I was possibly reading a character sheet for a Marty Stu in that other section.

 

part of the reason I included a sheet/form thingy was because I figured some people's normal/regularly used RP characters might not fit the context/premise of the RP, so they may need to make characters for this rp only.

 

 

I will play as a human and I got dibz on fluttershy (not to play as but as the pony I end up with ^__^)

Click the link for Gabe Turner (Human) in my signature below

 

Change the age and elaborate a bit on some backstory (you can post said elaborations here rather than on your character sheet), possibly to fit him into the RP's premise and your good. As for that other bit...thats debatable.

Who needs fill out form?

 

http://mlpforums.com...rs/_/lily-r1027 le click it.

 

Like a baus!!!

 

Anywho,

 

Lily out!

 

Lily is okay, so long as she isn't powerful. Any interest in playing one of the mane six?

 

sounds interesting i guess i will join this one.

 

http://mlpforums.com...rs/_/hank-r1047

 

You will need to edit Hank to fit into the scenario. You can post the edits here if you don't want to modify his actual character sheet. Or make a new character.

The year is 2178 AD. For nearly one hundred and fifty years, Earth has been united in an alliance of nations devoted to expanding the human race beyond the confines of their homeworld, and their home-system. Until now, they have been limited to traveling at only the speed of light. But with the discovery of warp space, mankind now has the opportunity to truly explore the universe.

 

A team of four has been gathered, and placed upon Earth's first FTL starship, Intrepid. They have been given the task of exploring the region of space neighboring the Sol star-system. They have targeted a system that is only one week away from Sol by Warp Space as the starting point of the Intrepid's one year mission. With the Intrepid prepped and ready, and with a final message of "Good Luck", the crew of the Intrepid is sent out to discover the secrets of the universe.

 

~^~

 

This is a humans meet Equestria RP, where the focal point is interaction between the various characters. The game will need at least seven people, four to play the human characters, and three to at least play two of the mane six each. The max number of players I am going to allow is twelve. Players can have two characters, if they so choose.

 

The first person to create a human character becomes the Captain of the Intrepid, unless they don't wish to do so.

 

Here's the character sheet. If you wish to play as one of the mane six, you must place in your post an example of your ability to write/play as said character, and after examining it, I will decide if you can play as said character.

 

Princess Celestia and Luna cannot be claimed.

 

Name:

Age: (ponies age the same as humans)

Race: Human, Pony, Griffon, etc

Nationality: (human characters only)

Description: What the character looks like. Cutie mark goes here if your playing a pony

Skills: What your character is good at

Bio: Brief backstory of your character

 

So, anyone interested?

Cain frowned at the sight of two other ponies he didn't recognize, especially the one seeming to wield weapons. "Umm, I don't mean to interrupt, but are all of you new to town? I didn't know we had so many newcomers coming in of late."

 

Before he, or anyone else however, could say anything else, there was a loud gasp from the kitchen, and a pink blur shot out of the doors to land smack dab in the midst of them. The blur was none other than Pinkie Pie, who had a look of sheer joy on her face.

 

"Did I hear that we have newy newy newcomers in Ponyville?" She asked, looking at each of them in turn.

 

(ooc: since no ones claimed Pinkie, feel free to play her as needed, that's how I assume we're handling NPC's. I just wanted to introduce some crazy into the scene)

Nightfall noticed the new pony go into Sugarcube Corner, so he followed him into the store.

"Hey, I'm Nightfall."

 

Cain tore his searching gaze away from the display counter and the door leading to the kitchen to look at the dark blue Pegacorn who had stepped in. He didn't recognize the pony, so he assumed he was a new pony in town. Hoping his eye's wouldn't prove unsettling, he gave the newcomer a small smile as he replied "Hello there Nightfall, a pleasure to meet you. I'm Cain, you must be new to town, as I don't recognize you, where ya from?"