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Mushroo
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July 10. 2025
its drizzling today and I am sweating a lot. summer isn't my favorite season but its the season that has my boyfriends birthday.
I had fun today and I really feel like everything went perfect, I don't think I've ever felt so calm and comfortable before even if I was nervous to visit his grandparents on the way home.
we ate ice cream,chips and drank soda.
I honestly thought that we would just sit on the stairs and talk and watch our phones because there wasn't much we could do since he didn't bring money...but! i certainly did
I wasn't about to hang out with my boyfriend on his birthday without giving him a good time. we went to an ice cream shop,we walked for a bit and played on his Nintendo.
and then we lastly watched a stream on twitch from Mortisfox,I enjoy their stuff a lot.
today was a solid day and I wouldn't have it any differently.
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I apologize for not being here for a long while. being a newly adult brings a lot of baggage but I think I really appreciate those moments. it helps me see that even if it gets tough I can still have fun in the little moments.
I'll be posting again. maybe not a lot but definitely when I can. I really enjoy this community and I would like to do more in the future.
peace out.
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-i never really stuck to one style.my whole life I've been just wearing what my mom gives me to wearing what I have. which is why I'm just going to talk about asthetics I like.you should definitely google some of these aesthetics! you might like them vector flourish:ya know those girl based designs on things like toys,diaries,and maybe them easy bake ovens that were advertised in the 2000s? or maybe them old wallpaper designs that old phones or computers use to have? bright,colorful,and full of floral patterns,a bunch of pretty colors that swirl and are shaped like leaves,flowers and vines. I really like this aesthetic! its more prominent in the 2000s but it is being re-popularized and I definitely didn't grow up aware of it but I definitely saw things that had designs like this. Google it and you'll know what I'm talking about! I'll add some pictures of every aesthetic to give you an idea. there is definitely a lot of subcultures of this aesthetic but regardless I love it cuz I personally really like these swirls,color pallets,and nature based images. UrBling: "Silhouetted streetlights, power lines, buildings, highways, grungy effects, wings, crests, flames, tribal tattoo-looking motifs,paint splatters/drips, slab sans-serifs, graffiti and stencil,motifs & fonts, Gothic fonts." the Key motifs in the Fandom wiki for UrBling aesthetic.art you might find on streets...maybe in games or corny 2000s rap videos,a lot of games,bands and pops of color and shapes led to create a really interesting vibe. I suggest youd search it up. you might see some cool stuff...or Patrick and SpongeBob all blinged up looking like gangsta rappers cuz...honestly I mess with it. I think its cool...tho I think it may have also a lot to do with inspiring edgy kids,skater dudes,and graffiti artists...ya know the type of stuff to remind you of going to the part while the sun is almost out,playing some hip hop or anything that seems chill and just doing tricks on the railings and pretty much on anything you can. I'm aware I have pretty much never experiences any of what these aesthetics remind me of or...at least not personally? dunno but I can get why people like said aesthetics.(aka I'm making stuff up cuz its fun) hair metal/glam rock:Twisted sister! Queen! David Bowie!Kiss! and many of rock that was glittery,hair expressive and maybe a bit gay and androgynous! this is more of a stage look and music genre than it is an aesthetic but its one I really like! I love the dramatic stage performances and music videos with crappy CGI and lots! and lots! of makeup and hairspray. rock on and glamour! metal heart aesthetic/abstract tech:the feel of dark,tech,and random splotches of metal,code,and goop! the feel of something that makes no sense but feel like dark tech fantasy! maybe a bit of bio weaponry! the only way I can describe it is by showing you>_>.it reminds me of them scenes in movies or games like how the spiderman movie has the cool visual with his suit as the background,web shooting and him swinging around while names roll in to really get you ready for the story...or the resident evil montage of all the creepy imagery to get you ready for the game...I don't know how to describe it really but its a little something I like that's weird lol. if ya seen the walking dead opening or any zombie movie that has visual openings...youd probably know what I'm talking about? probably the older folk will. Gen X soft club: down to earth future tech optimism, a bunch of ways to describe it yet I still have no idea what it even means or what it is. it gives me this almost depressive...empty,yet not fully alone state. underground train stations,city sky lines and airports,an urban look with minimalist and cool color schemes,the smell of new packets from a college you just visited,the sound of water splashing under your boots,the sound of cars driving by in the night,the broken lights on street signs and the sunset setting in as you walk on the train tracks. still have no idea what it means. sorry for spelling errors and grammar. I usually just type to get my thoughts out so if ya have any corrections or anything to add on. feel free to do so. -
my status as a My Little Pony fan.(archive of my lore)
>I will be talking a lot about angsty stuff,some random cringe things and maybe some relatable stuff too? dunno but I guess here this mess.:^p
2016:middle school,I was around 11-12? I don't know. I've already been of a fan of other fandoms like Five Nights At Freddy's,Bendy In The Ink Machine and Undertale,Sonic and other fandoms alike,I already knew I was the weird kid beyond redemption to normality, I had way to many habits like eating rapidly as I stare deep into the TV,scratching chairs,twitching my head whenever I say something off or annoying,biting my fingers and repeating dances and songs as I repeatedly get told by teachers to sit down or shut up,I loved horror games, I loved making up scenes in my head and talking to myself, I admit some of these habits became very self destructive but for the most part most of them were just dumb middle school anxiety or boredom,I collected my first few figs such as the mini Equestria girls figures of pinkie pie and twilight sparkle in their sleepover outfits,I likes watching YouTube a lot around this time as it was my only source of entertainment as well as childhood trauma and nostalgia,Smile HD,Shed.Mov,cupcakes,elements of insanity,discord x Fluttershy music videos,amvs,and Sonic crossovers with MLP, I loved every part of it despite the horrors lol.
2019: quarantine:the virus has begun and were all stuck in our homes and worrying if our computers will work and not be super damn slow for online classes whilst not learning a thing,I believe I was around 13/14 but despite all that boredom and oversleeping I had my my first YouTube channel! it actually began got created in 2018 but I believe I didn't post till next year...well for realsies anyway,I posted small speed paints,half ass animations and followed a bunch of short form animators who make music animations with their colorful cool looking characters that were after named "animation memes"...in a few words they are basically short animations with a part of a song being played with a character bopping their head up and down or just dancing,they often have furries,popular characters or other type of OCs/gacha OCs,(original characters),animation memes was such a prevalent part of my childhood...that i was sadly one of those goobers who would unfortunately copy the movements of the characters...irl...weird I know. but I guess quarantine got to us and i guess I went a little coocoo in the brains and honestly I don't blame my younger because quarantine was a tough time for all of us,but besides that everything was okay...well...for the most part? I don't want to include any more negative topics but just know that 13/14 year old me was NOT supposed to interact with strangers online! stranger danger...the age requirements to have access to any social media apps should definitely go up...like seriously a lot could've been avoided but I guess that's what happens when your raised by the internet yeah?
2021-2022: my high school sweetheart! well...we met in my sophomore year but I still count us as high school soulmates,I met him in my sophomore year where I started having band class! which unfortunately...is the only class I had him in but we got a long well when we first interacted with me...asking me if he could draw me...i admit it was awkward but I said yes cuz I found it sweet.we slowly started talking more as days went by and little by little we became friends,we drew together,we yapped all day long even if we were being annoying,and finally in late August....I jokingly asked him if he had a crush on me...and he actually said yes! me? being likable? how??? its something I never thought was possible...I acted all loud and charismatic...just because I wanted friends...someone to talk to...but he wanted to be with me as more than just friends??? I freaked out silently during math class and I responded back and said I liked him too...maybe I moved too fast or acted out of impulse but that moment sealed it and I was completely set! the other times anyone has claimed to like me became a forgotten false memory because this felt genuine and real and I wouldn't change it for anything.
2023-2024: many years have passed and I'm no longer a filly! or at least someone who's no longer under 18...ye. junior and senior year...man...it was absolute horseradish, homework pilling,teachers getting stricter,sleep worsening,self esteem dropping like a bomb,and just overall a mess. I absolutely HATED these years I just cant stand having to do all this work I didn't give craps about and I cant fathom how much I hated high-shcool for giving me the inability to like myself because of failure and anxiety! MATH IS HARD. I get math should be something that could be beneficial for everyone...but man does it make me want to pull my hair out. I've always struggled with math and everything number related...times tables? subtractions? addition? that's alright but everything else is like trying to start some sort ancient ritual with a soup of numbers,signs,steps,and...LETTERS. algebra was for sure my greatest enemy. and I for sure sound dumb and doopid...but its true,I struggle and I just cant seem to grasp it no matter how much I try. god help me when I have to do taxes and do pay my bills because I'm gonna be in the streets when I get out of the house. uhhh other than that umm depression definitely was a major factor in my struggles but I've always just raw-dogged life like that because I live in a low income family with one sibling working and the rest of my siblings still in pre-k and elementary,and the only parent who's my mom who stays with us even without a partner...she remains home to take of us,my two twin sisters,my baby sister,and my younger brother,my mom might not be perfect but she really is carrying all of us so we can have a better life,she pays for us to eat,she cleans,she talks to us and most importantly loves us even with us as a Hispanic/Mexican family living in the US.so yeah i definitely went through a lot but I wont let that get me down.
and finally...
2024-2025:this year...changed me a lot...I'm now 19 (april-15) and I've been chilling at home,I know its sort of telling of what little I've done...like I have spent the entire year of when I came out of school just struggling to apply to get into a damn college...and just thinking of my future...creating a portfolio of my art and absolutely getting slammed with comments like "did you apply yet?" "did you finish your FAFSA form?" "why don't you have a job yet?" just please stop...shut up...I get it I'm a 19 year with no life! I know!...shocking! well yeah I'm pretty much still looking...searching...and learning...its hard adapting to all these changes,getting rejected/ghosted by jobs,colleges being billions of dollars too much to pay for,and life beating me up with depression,self hatred,and things I regret doing to myself,I've wanted to give up so bad and let life drown me along with my pity, last year 2024 is when I've first hurt myself purposely because of how much my mind ate at itself to just give up,I felt like I deserved to suffer in silence,to not let anyone know what I was going through...who I was and what I wanted...I completely derived myself of happiness,joy and love, I had just one thing that held me up when I was alone, the band Korn. a nu metal band that had a dumb name and weird music with dark themes,I've been attached to the band ever since my junior year but this is where I needed it the most. their songs might be dark,crazy and goofy but its the message that a few songs give that make me feel like I'm not a lost cause and that I'm not alone,my boyfriend might be annoyed by my obsession with the band but he supports why I like it so much and why I relate to it on such a personal level,I couldn't give a damn about the fandom or what normies think, I like the band and its music and its totally fine if you don't...or don't know what I'm talking about <_<.
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I could totally give a rundown on all my brain juices on what I know about the band Korn...if that's something y'all wanna know about:3. tho I wont mention anything too blegh or dark as I don't want to freak anyone out...as some topics can be too disturbing or too sensitive. but I can totally spew some fun facts and some fun stuff about the music and albums! I know many other different nu metal band/bands in generally so feel free to ask!!!
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tomorrow is my birthday! eep! I cant wait to eat so much food and be with my family^^ I'm going to be 19!
I know it will just be a small dinner with my close family but I couldn't be anymore excited for it.
I hope I get to have so many other birthdays as I've been struggling growing up and maturing but I think I can make a cool adult as I get more and more birthdays! more birthdays mean more cake:D
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i own gouache paints,watercolors,glitter pens,and a bunch of school supplies like mechanical pencils and erasers. I usually draw on my phone in ibis paint with my index finger. that's how I've been drawing almost my entire art journey...although I started with traditional art I've strayed away from it when quarantine hit,so I didn't draw on my sketchbooks a whole lot which is sad but at the beginning of when I started drawing I pretty much only drew on my sketchbooks or notebooks which left me with a lot of cool nostalgic pieces that I still keep. gouache paints: I'll admit I don't really like thick paint like acrylics or gouache but they are fun to use when using them on thicker paper or canvases...I know that's probably more of the intended use for these paints. but thicker paper usually means carrying around a heavy book and I don't really like the texture of it but besides that I also don't want to keep buying canvases every time I want to paint with thicker paints. I usually work with what I have since I am but a young adult living off of bread and milk,but I'd like to try and get better at it so my art can get a hold of traditional art again. acrylics: the ol tube paints,I have gouache paints on little plastic cups but the acrylic ones are In tubes...are there acrylics in plastic cups? eh that don't matter right now but these paints are actually pretty cool and easy to use but it really depends on the quality of the paints,I've owned acrylics ever since I was young because I'd go into stores like Ross and Walmart and buy cheap acrylics. its fun to use on canvases for simple paintings from what I've used them for. school supplies/pencils: iv'e been using mechanical pencils my entire life. I don't like using number 2 pencils,art based pencils or any other kind. I'd try them but id most likely find them too complicated or bad quality,when I use mechanical pencils I feel like I have full control over my sketches because the mechanical pencil is easy to just press on whenever the lead breaks or runs out,I can easily click on the to of the pencil and lead will be pushed out or I can pop in a new lead into it if it don't have any. when I say I feel like I have control over my sketches I mean I don't have to put much attention to it because they are just sketches I usually use sketchbooks to draw roughly or messy, to get out a bunch of ideas,doodles or simply draw out of boredom,it works for me because I don't work on a traditional piece for that long anymore due to a lot of changes in my life and mind so I have to get the sketch out before my brain fries and I loose interest which is sort of sad considering how I use to use sketchbooks a lot when I was younger and Id take hours completing a drawing even forgetting to eat or go outside...I mean drawing digitally does the same but at least it makes cleaning your art much easier and it is less time consuming but I seriously feel like I'm happier using the supplies I've been using for so long like mechanical pencils,watercolors and my overworked index finger. what supplies do you use? what's your experience with these art supplies and how have you been using them? feel free to lore dump your art journey even if you just started!:P
