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Minath Khalsi

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Blog Entries posted by Minath Khalsi

  1. Minath Khalsi
    Sometimes people will ask me, "Minath, why do you cut? Everything in your life seems... perfect. And you always seem so happy!"
     
    I always respond the same way.
     
    "Let's say for a moment that you were always angry, always sad, and you didn't want to hurt the people you care about by taking it out on them. Let's say everyone always expected you to be happy and cheerful and all the rest. Everything everyone expects you to be. Let's say that you try so hard to live up to those expectations and because you always feel angry and empty and sad you feel like you're failing everyone you care about. But you don't want to hurt them. You don't want to hurt anyone, you don't want to make anyone cry. So instead you take your anger and sadness and failure out on yourself to avoid hurting others. You believe that by doing this to yourself, you're doing the universe a favor. And when people notice, you feel guilty for making them cry and making them upset. You don't want to hurt anyone. So you tell them you'll stop. You'll stop for them. And for while you do, because you don't want to hurt them. You don't want to hurt the people you care about most. You don't want to hurt anyone. But after a while all that anger and sadness breaks through your walls, and you end up hurting the people you care about by hurting yourself. And you feel terrible for hurting them so you punish yourself. I don't want to hurt anyone, I don't want to make anyone cry or be worried. So I hurt myself to save those I care about from myself."
     
     
     
     
    And everyone who hears my explanation has questioned me about it again.
  2. Minath Khalsi
    It's been a while sense I posted on here, but I was browsing through the internet and I stumbled upon something that made me think, and kinda want to cry.
     
    It's a quote, only 30 words, but it's message could take a thousand to get through. I'm not going all poetic here, but just think about this as you interact with people without a second thought.
     
    "When you were born you were crying and everyone else was smiling. Live your life so at your end, you're the one smiling and everyone else is crying."

    -Ralph Waldo Emerson


     
    This has been making me think of all the people I've screwed over, but also of all the people who would be crying. As a past suicidal, this quote makes me never want to venture down that road ever again. It just makes me think, I could make so many more people miss me when I'm finally out of their lives. But they would miss me because I had touched their life in some way. I don't want to make them cry at my funeral, but I want them to reflect on why they're crying. They're crying because I meant so much to them they don't want to bear the thought that I won't be there for them anymore.
     
    I'm probably getting way too in depth of this quote. But at the moment I don't really care.
     
    So all I can think of as I read this quote over and over, is how I can touch way more people's lives. If I can do that, then I think I might just have a reason for living.
     
    Here's the original picture that got me thinking all this.
     

  3. Minath Khalsi

    My biggest secret

    By Minath Khalsi,

    I think my biggest secret is I love to cry.
     
    I always have these pent up emotions that I feel like I'm struggling against. But I can't show any of these on my face because I'm supposed to be everyone's rock. So I swallow my emotions and act like the unfeeling stone everyone expects me to be.
     
    After a while, I actually feel like I can't feel, and this scares me. If I can't feel emotion, than am I even a human? What if I lose my humanity? What will become of the people who rely on me? My first thought isn't of myself, it's of those who rely on me. This makes me feel, as put by the words of Quin Thirrin, "a little more human again."
     
    I think that's another reason I read so much. It lets me feel the emotions the character goes through. I guess it's also why I like action/adventure books so much. That pit in my stomach is amazing. I can see why people become adrenaline junkies; it lets them feel "a little more human."
     
    But back to why I love to cry.
     
    I love to cry because it reminds me that I can feel. So I go off my meds for a couple days, wait for everyone to be asleep, and cruse around the internet trying to make myself cry by looking at sad stuff. By the time everyone's asleep, it's around 3 AM, and I've found that's when I'm closest to the metaphorical edge. My emotions, especially sadness, are most susceptible to stimuli.
     
    But I just wanted to tell someone about my secret. No one knows. So I guess a tired, disinterested forum-goer will have to do. No offense.
  4. Minath Khalsi
    Okay, my mom said she didn't want to hear my dream, but I want to tell someone. So all ya'lls are gonna have to do.
     
    I was at a store, in the parking lot. I was looking for my mom, but she was nowhere to be seen. I was yelling out for her, and someone, a man in a ski mask, grabbed my elbow. It was suddenly day and there was people everywhere, and I yelled for help but no one came to my rescue. I felt my stomach sink as I was dragged away and the image of all the people got farther and farther away, and the man in the mask was still dragging me, tears in my eyes as nobody helped me. I yelled help so loudly it woke me up, with tears in my eyes.
     
    That was my nightmare. Being the big child I am, I crawled into bed with my parents so they could protect me from the end of the nightmare. I'm wondering if someone could help me interpret this dream. I also just wanted to get this strange dream off my chest, metaphorically.
  5. Minath Khalsi

    My mom's a dork

    By Minath Khalsi,

    My mom constantly changes the password for my account on computer, because I don't have my own and we don't have a family one. She had told me the password in a strange way. I am (M) and she is (A).
     
    (m) what's the password?
    (a) it's one of the ponies
    (m) so Rainbow Dash. She's the only one you know.
    (a) Hey! I know Celestia too!
    (m) really? What does Celestia look like?
    (a) She's like, dark blue or black with stars on her butt!
    (m) Mom, that's Luna. And Luna's cutiemark is a moon, not stars.
    (a) close enough.
    (m) Okay, what does Rainbow Dash look like?
    (a) She's white with a flowy rainbow mane!
    (m) That's Celestia!
  6. Minath Khalsi
    Okay, I recently (like 20 minutes ago) became admin for this page.
     
    You may be saying, "Minath! This is a My Little Pony Forum! Not this Homestuck rubbish forum!"
     
    Well, if you're saying that you can kiss my pale grey hiney.
     
    Because I do what I want.
     
    And Homestuck is cool.
     
    And one of the characters is a brony, so ha.
     
    But yeah, go like up the page. It's awesome.
     
    I am, of course, admin Minath Khalsi. Who else would I be?
  7. Minath Khalsi
    I like a lot of things, so I'm in a lot of fandoms. Let me tell you, it is so frustrating.
     
    The same day that season four of MLP was released, a new season of Dr. Who was released. None of my friends are both Whovians and Bronies, so I just had to sit there all awkward as they bickered about which one was better. It was really awkward.
     
    One of my good friends is a member of the Supernatural fandom, and let's just say that fandom and the Homestuck one don't get along. At all. So when she talks about Supernatural it just makes me think of all the crap the Supernatural fandom put the Homestuck fandom through, and it just peeves me off.
     
    Also, the Whovians are good buddies with the Supernatural fandom. Being more into Homestuck than Dr. Who (I'm so sorry Matt Smith, you're still my favorite doctor) it's really weird talking about Dr. Who with a member of the Supernatural Fandom. Like, reeeaaally weird. Then eventually the conversation will drift to Homestuck, who the Whovians love but the Supernatural fandom hate. Again, reeeaaally weird.
     
    At first it was weirder when the Whovians hated the Homestuck fandom. I'm jsut glad that the Whovians eventually came to like the Homestuck fandom, otherwise it would be even awkwarder.
     
    At least the Hetalia fandom and the Homestuck fandom love each other. And I'm pretty sure the Hetalia doesn't have any enimies otherwise I'd be screwed. The Hetalia fandom made the Homestuck fandom feel better after the gigapause started. So now if I hear anyone bashing the Hetalia fandom, they're taking a world map to the face. I don't know much about the Hetalia fandom, considering I know close to nothing about the show, but I know that the characters represent countries or something. A whole section of my friends loves Hetalia, so I'm glad that our fandoms <> each other.
     
    And basically everyone hates the MLP fandom. You act like you haven't noticed. So I have to sit there as all the other fandoms I'm a member of bash MLP. So awkward. At least Hetalia doesn't bash MLP. I'm pretty sure Hetalia loves everyone except for Supernatural, and I'm pretty sure that's because Supernatural bashes Homestuck.
     
    Before I realized that Twilight (the fandom, not the MLP character) was totally and completely stupid, I'm ashamed to admit I liked it. At the same time I liked Harry Potter. It was the weirdest thing ever. I have never seen two fandoms hate each other as much as Twilight and HP do. Then for a while I was a closet Twilight fan, then I'm just like. "Wow, this is really stupid. How could I have ever liked this shiitake mushrooms?" And then I went full HP. Let's just say that it was really awkward for that period when I openly liked both, and even more awkward when I was a closet Twilgiht fan.
     
    Let's just say it's difficult to hold a conversation with anyone about any fandom. Like, really awkward. Everyone hates a fandom I'm in but loves another. Sooo weird.
     
    Welp this came out longer than expected... over 2k letters, dang.
  8. Minath Khalsi
    If you look here, You'll see a map of Azeroth.
     

     

     
    In the Northeast, there's a series of mountains and a pass between them. In the valley, called Mor'shan, is the main residency of the Wyvern. The Wyvern are mainly hunters and mountain goat, although a tough meat, is common. The Wyvern also have hanging gardens where berries and fruit are grown.
     

     
    This is An'doroth, the first Hippogriff settlement, founded about 500 years ago. It was made of stone and is now a neutral fishing port.
     

     
    This is An'owyn the largest neutral town in Azeroth, and it's primary a trading post to those who tolerate the town's occupants.
     

     
    This is one of the few places where crops can be planted and harvested in abundance, and because the hippogriffs require more vegetation than Wyvern it belongs to them.
     

     
    This valley is where the Hipppogriffs finally settled down. The mountain pass was easily defendable and near the crops. It's called An'talas
     

     
    This is a Hippogriff fishing town, Bandal. Basically nothing else relevant about it.
     

     
    These are small Wyvern settlements and the guard tower for the Mor'shan. Their names are Gor'gaz, Grangol'var, Zeth'gor, and Zeth'kur. The gate is called Dranosh.
  9. Minath Khalsi
    I have decided this will be broken up into parts and then at the end be combined into one big giant wall of text.
     
    ~~~
     
     
    The land of Azeroth is mostly desert, or mountains. There is few patches where food can be grown, and the Hippogriffs and Wyvern, sometimes knows as the Windriders.
    Hippofriffs are half pony and half griffon, and long ago had they left Equestria and landed in Azeroth. The Wyvern, unhappy with these new visitors, waged war. This war is still going on, a war that never ends. Many of the current generation don't know why they hate the other race, only that everyone else does so they must also. Once in a blue moon there is peace between the species. Even some of the kind live together in harmony, and adapted the obsolete griffon language into the language of the Wyvern, creating the Azerothian language.
    The centuries of war between the two species have made them aggressive species, and wary to the unknown. But the combined towns of both kinds, they feel no hostility. They are shunned by the rest of their kind, but they don't mind. After all, they have each other.
    The Wyvern are rules by a bloodline called the Sin'dorei, but the ruler at the time is called the Emperor and Empress, and the next in line kin the Ra'Sha, being male heir and Ra'Shaness, being female heir. The Hippogriffs prefer King, Queen, and Prince and Princess. The royalty is not immortal like the Equestrians, however. They do live longer than average, though. The average lifespan of each species is about the same, about 50 years. The royalties' is about 75 years, although the reason for this anomaly is unknown.
  10. Minath Khalsi
    Well, I have to put my mind puke, somewhere, so I chose this. I mainly made this so I can create stories about Azeroth, the pony land I mean. If you have no idea what I'm talking about, check out Syl Windrunner's page here
     
    It's difficult to get a grasp on her homeland with practically no information, right? So I'm going to make stories about Azeroth. I'm planning on one day in the near future have an RP take place there, and I want people to know what in the heck I'm talking about. So that's my first project, talk about Azeroth. I have no idea what else I'm going to do on here yet, but my brain will puke soon enough.
     
    So if you're interested in what happens when I have nothing better to do then sit around and think, check back here often
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