Chemis

Hello Rivka! I’m happy to see a zebra being added among the characters here. Zebras are a fascinating race, but also a difficult one to use owing to the fact that they as a race have not been explored much on the show so far. Due to their tricky nature, we’ll have some things to work on with this character so that she can fit into EqE, but none of it should be too much of a problem

• Name - Spell Hun’s name follows the pony naming convention of making one’s name a literal representation of yourself. Ponies seem to be the only species that uses this naming convention, while other races have names more like those humans have. Zebras are also often thought to all have names starting with Z, but this is not a convention that you have to follow.

• Age - your zebra’s age should not be described as “teenage”, as we do not know if a zebra’s adolescent stage corresponds with their teenage years (ie, we don’t know if a zebra has matured as much as a teenager when they are 13-19 years old). It would be best to describe your character as an adolescent.

• Personality - Each character is required to have a personality section at least two paragraphs in length, so you will need to write another paragraph for this section.

• Personality - Pre-established connections to cast characters are not allowed for OCs, so your character cannot have met Zecora.

• Dislikes - You specifically say she dislikes unicorns and pegasi. Is she especially prejudiced against these types of ponies, as opposed to earth ponies?

• While it is alright for you to make up a town for your zebra to be from, that town has to be a small town, and the homelands of the zebra species cannot be named by you. If we let one person name these lands, then either we’ll have everyone using different names or everyone will have to use the name decided on by whoever gave a name first. That said, when referring to Jexorsa, you should simply call it a zebra town or village and leave it at that.

• The ponies described in Spell’s bio are abnormally aggressive. From what we saw in the episode that introduced Zecora, ponies respond to what they don’t understand with fear, not anger, and thus wouldn’t be hurling insults at your character or wrongfully imprisoning her. Ponies are a fearful species at times, but they are not an aggressive one.

If you can work on these things, you character should be able to be approved from there

Gonna be going down the list one by one, since my computer doesn't seem to enjoy quoting:

Name - I personally like the name, and since we've only ever met 1 zebra in the show, I think its reasonable to say that some zebra's names may not start with the letter Z

Age - I've edited that, she's about the age of the Mane 6

Personality #1 - I've added another paragraph

Personality #2 - I've erased that sentence, since its the only one that explains any relationship with Zecora  

Dislikes - I believe I said all ponies, did I not?

Story #1 - I've redone it so she's not in the huge heart of the zebra empire, but in a small village just beside it

Story #2 - Instead of being overly aggressive, they're overly fearful

Thank you for reading my Oc and showing me what to work on

Your character is definitely closer, but there are a few things left to take care of, mainly involving me clarifying some of the points I made previously. First, Spell’s name is something that I am going to discuss with the other staff and get back to you with an answer for. Like I said, the zebra are a tricky race in terms of their lore.

As for the dislikes, what I meant was that you do say that she dislikes ponies, but then go on to list unicorns and pegasi specifically while not also listing earth ponies. It was just something that struck me as a bit odd is all, and I was wondering if there was a reason for it.

With her age, if she is meant to be about the same age as the mane six, then you can just say that in the age section. That would give us a better understanding of her age than describing it as “average”.

Where you describe where Spell grew up, you actually have the reverse of what I was trying to say is allowed now. You can say that she grew up in Jexorsa as long as you do not make the town too large and important, but you can not describe her as living in the Zebra Empire, as that would be giving the land zebra are from a name. Jexorsa can be described as a zebra town or village, and from that information we will know that it is not in Equestria.

One last little thing I caught is that at one point in the personality section, you wrote “people” rather than “ponies”. I hope this all makes more sense now, and if it doesn’t feel free to ask here or PM me for clarification

I discussed the name with the other staff, like I said, and a point was brought up that I had honestly not really considered. Your character is named Spell Hun, but as a zebra she is incapable of casting spells. This makes her name rather problematic, as I cannot imagine why your character would be named for something they cannot do.

For her age, you can also use "young mare" as female zebras are also referred to as mares.

Name: Changed to Chemis, stemming from the word Chemistry

Dislikes: I've added the word Earth before Ponies to say she has a problem with all ponies specifically

Age: Changed to "Young Mare"

Lives: I've changed to say Jexorca is a small village next to the heart of the zebra empire

Lives #2: When I said Zebra Empire, I didn't mean to name it. I only meant to say in general she lives in the zebra empire. I've changed wherever it said "Zebra Empire" in uppercase to lowercase.

Personality: Fixed

Everything looks good now, with one exception. While I understand that you do not mean for the zebra empire to be a proper name, calling it an empire at all has very specific connotations. An empire, to quote from dictionary.com, is...

"an extensive group of states or countries under a single supreme authority, formerly especially an emperor or empress."

The zebra lands should be referred to more vaguely as, well, the zebra lands, as that comes with no connotations regarding how that area is governed or anything. That appears to be the only edit left to make, however. From there I should be able to give her first approval

I understand. May I say, "A well-known zebra village?" If not, I'll simply refer to it as, "A zebra village."

I understand. May I say, "A well-known zebra village?" If not, I'll simply refer to it as, "A zebra village."

You may refer to it that way, yes

I've changed it

Looks good to me! Sending to second approval