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Drakk Moonshine


Lord Bradley
  • No Not Cast Late Adolescent

    Drakk has a dark-brownish coat, with his short, dark-purple mane & tail, both barely reaching his neck and thighs, respectively. He isn't too strong or big, his body barely reaching the average weight "limit" of his age.

     

    His mouth almost-always stuck in a slight, barely noticable smile, and his muzzle being in the normal shape most stallions have. His eyes are a nice red, and while intimidating, he tries to make up to it by helping ponies and being polite, scared of being scared of.

     

    Though he does have a couple scars grazing his body, he uses something that resembles a coat to cover them up. His once-existent eyebrows were also burned off, in result of another experiment, which included trying to a ridiculous amount of Poison Joke in a cauldron, then setting it in fire. Needless to say, everything went wrong, an explosion happened, and all of his fur was burned off. While the fur grazing his skin slowly grew back, his eyebrows, for whatever reason, never did.

     

    He also has a normal. averagely sized horn poking out of his mane.

    Male Unicorn A question mark being watched by three eyes. Though it's rather difficult to find out the meaning of it for a stranger, it indicates that Drakk can find any secret held from him, as shown by his two eyes watching the "secret", aswell as his third "inner eye" watching it. Though, even if he doesn't want to know the secret, he still has to find out what it is, if the uncontrollable urges have anything to say about it. In any case, Drakk sometimes has a hard time finding out if he's really supposed to do anything with his life, but he is still relatively content whenever he uses this specialty of his to help others out with what they need, or perhaps even indulge his own curiosity and need for knowledge, https://buffy.mlpforums.com/2e096c8d68bbb7e0caadfe8818d944ae.jpg

    Drakk is very talented and skilled in magic, and though he does not have a too big of a arsenal, he still gets alot of use out of the three spells he has specialized in and focused on during his time of studying, the three being Unlocking locks, Invisibility and a Shock which stuns the body it's shot at. However, this also causes problems at times. Being very intelligent and talented, he often believes that things are never as easy as they might look, even though they very well could be, and therefore always thinks in a over-complicated manner which is more difficult than the simple solution. Aswell as being very stubborn, he will not listen to anypony who tells him the easy solution, believing them to be either lies or that the pony saying them simply doesn't know what they are talking about.

     

    He is also a decently helpful pony, though he can get sick of other's company, and most likely will attempt to leave the other pony/ponies for some alone time. If he cant find a way to leave by himself, he will just get very angry, and most likely scare the other ponies away. Being very unsocial due his time spent alone, he doesn't really think about the consequences or that he might weaken any bonds he has with his friends.

     

    He is very brave, aswell, perhaps even a bit reckless, but he will never take any unnecessary risks. Atleast, not when anypony isn't in danger. As soon as he catches a glimpse of somepony about to get injured or worse, he instantly charges in to help, forgetting all about his own wellbeing. And being very unlucky, this gets him into tricky situations, more often than not, which are pretty much the main source of his scars.

     

    Adventures are a thing he likes to go on regularly, as the things they bring are quite fun to experience. Running away from monsters, sneaking around traps, finding a long lost artifact or treasure only for it to be a trap, and then running for his life. He just generally enjoys the excitement it brings.

     

    Another "trait" of his is that he is fascinated with the night. How fascinated, you wonder? Well, every chance he gets, he stays up for hours watching the night sky, studying the stars, watching the moon. There's just something interesting about it that gets him.

    Likes: -Snakes<br />-Parties<br />-Misfortune<br />-Truly Evil Ponies

    He was born in Canterlot and raised by his parents, his father being a unicorn who studied magic, and his mother being an earth pony who worked with, essentially, alchemy.

     

    When Drakk was but a young colt, his mother got incredibly sick. When they admissioned her to the hospital, they found out days later that there currently wasn't a cure available for the disease she had acquired. So, his father took on the task to travel to the nearby Everfree in search of the herbs used in making the cure. He, unfortunately, never came back. Drakk, upset and panicked due to his lost father and sick mother, ran away from his home in a split decision, galloping in a random direction and hoping he finds something before he falls from exhaustion, all the while having tears streaming down his face.

     

    He ran for an amount of time unknown to him, his body aching with exhaustion, until he found a hut. He collapsed at the door of the hut, unable to continue any further. Fortunately, the resident of the hut heard the commotion outside, and stepped out to see what was happening. The resident of the house was a Zebra named Zenar. Zenar was mortified when he saw a small colt lying down infront of his door. He let Drakk into his house, taking care of him til he felt that he was ready to leave.

     

    Apparently Zenar was very skilled in potion making and had many books about magic. Drakk interest got piqued when he heard about the books on magic, reminiscing about his father who tried to teach him a bit about it. Drakk, wanting to atleast follow in his fathers hoofsteps a little, studied. He studied for a long time.

     

    Years went by, and he one day realized his special talent, which he found out by finding Zenar's diary. Why was he so intent on finding it? He felt that the zebra was keeping something from him, so he followed his urges to the basement, and proceeded to look through it search of the zebra's diary, hoping that his unofficial caretaker had written something in it. When Zenar came down to investigate the slight noise coming from the basement, he noticed Drakk with his back turned to him when he reached the bottom of the stairs. Wondering if the foal was alright, Zenar trotted over to Drakk and looked over his shoulder to see what he was doing. His eyes widened at the sight of his diary in the hooves of the foal, it's pages having wet spots over it. When Drakk turned his head to loopk at the zebra, Zenar noticed that Drakk was crying, and the wet spots on the pages of the diary were tears. But Drakk had a big, happy smile on his face, and after a few seconds, he pounced the zebra and hugged him. On the diary's pages, it stood of a birthday party that would be held for a certain foal. Zenar smiled too after a few seconds, and hugged the colt back. During their moment, Drakk's cutiemark appeared on both sides of his flank, but both if them had failed to notice it until after they went up the stairs, which was followed by a scream of joy.

     

    After years and years of training and studying magic, he figured it was time to leave the zebra and find his own way. So he bade him farewell, thanked him for his hospitality, got a big crushing hug in response, and left, eventually settling down live in a cave situated in a mountain somewhere, to continue his studies in solitude. He had chosen the cave to not be disturbed by anypony so that he could study in peace, and that he was actually quite scared of moving back into civilization again. The mountain he lived in was quite close to the Everfree, and a village was nearby aswell, so food and supplies were no problem. There was even a small spring in the cave so he could get water. And the bits for food and such, which he got from the village, was made from some potions he learnt to make during his time with Zenar. He made the potions from some simple herbs he acquired from the Everfree. So, Every time he went into the village, he would sell his potions and use the bits to buy food, sometimes just trading a potion or two for food. Anyway, He also kept studying magic as always, doing many experiments to understand it better, until he finally felt like he finished his studies. And when he did, he decided to pack up, and travel. He wanted to see Equestria and the world beyond, to see what it could offer. And that's just what he did. He travelled through Equestria, and other countries alike, only stopping to explore what he has found or setting up camps during the night. During his travels, he has had many experiences, and acquired a decent number of friends in the adventures he's been through.

    -Drakk and Drake, who is the dragon befriended, are very close. During the time he was helping this particular "horde" of dragons out, he also was near Drake alot. When he wasnt working for them, we was basically doing stuff with the little dragon, which started innocently like telling stories over a campfire, and stretched out to even exploring nearby cave systems and the like. They grew to be close friends of eachother. Even today, Drakk tries to make time to visit Drake the dragon whenever he can.

     

    -When Drakk has a secret kept from him, he gets really crazy urges, and his whole body, mind, soul and heart all try to make him figure out the mystery held from him.

     

    -Drakk often explores his past memories, and when he does, he becomes dead to the world until he's finished.

     

    -He's deathly afraid of snakes due to a numerous amount of accidents involving them, most of them just coming up randomly and ending up biting and poisoning him. He's starting to believe that he literally is a magnet for snakes.

     

    -Tends to do experiments in his free time. They usually involve disasters, but in the off-chance that they work, cool things happen!

     

    -Drakk is also a part-time "hired-thief", though he dislikes the term. He usually gets assignments from contractors in which he has to have to infiltrate a building or an old ruin, "gather" something, and bring it back to his contractor. He also believes sneaking around is quite a bit of fun.

     

    -Since Drakk has studied magic through most of his life, he is very skilled in handling it. No Starswirl or Alicorn level stuff, and he doesn't have a bigger arsenal than anypony else, but he has pretty much perfected those spells he does know to an insane level. Well, insane by normal standards, anyway. In any case, these are the spells:
    Invisibility. Originally, He learnt this spell to avoid other ponies or big crowds, so he could just sneak away and be ignored. Now, however, this helps quite a bit with his contracts. He can use this spell quite efficiently, being able to do things while invisible. For example, open doors and gallop without the spell failing. He can also use levitation while invisible, though it is discouraged, as his horn will still glow if he uses anything else other than invisibility, and the levitation will be quite limited, not being able to pick up heavy objects, for example.
    Unlock Locks. He studied this spell last, seeing as he didn't have much use for it at the start. But, when he started accepting "contracts", he quickly understood that a spell to unlock locks would be much more useful than fidgeting with a needle in the lock. Though, it only works on normal locks. If the spell is used on magical or enchanted locks, it will simply malfunction, leaving the caster, Drakk, in this case, dazed for a moment.
    Shock/Stun. He learnt this spell to fend off wild animals, mostly, as he would often go out into the Everfree during his time living in a cave. It still proves useful today, as he still does indeed see animals or other things on his trips who might prove troublesome. It should work to temporarily disable the neural systems of anything smaller than a buffalo. When used on anything bigger, or as big as a buffalo, it simply feels like the sting of a bee. Or rather, the sting of a hundred bees, unless the target is the size of a hydra.

     

    -He is fascinated with the night, thoroughly enjoying his time spent outside at nighttime and watching the stars and moon. Due to this, he might be slightly obssessed with Luna, the Princess of The Night.

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Hello Bradley,

 

I was not expecting to see Drakk make a return. Now that he is here and you are dedicated to working on him, I can provide you with a proper review to help you on your way :)

 

  • Some of the wording in the appearance section is a bit confusing. For example, “trying to improve his looks with a dark-purple” makes it sound as if Drakk dyed his mane and tail dark purple, though I don’t think that is supposed to be the case. This section should be proofread and revised.

  • The commentary about Drakk’s horn in the parentheses is unneeded, and not particularly appropriate for roleplaying within such an “innocent” fictional universe.

  • For the unusual appearance of Drakk’s eyes to be accepted, a more detailed account of this “accident” must be given. Somewhere in the backstory this accident should be explained.

  • The personality section should be written in paragraph format rather than in bullets. This helps us determine if the section is long enough to meet the requirements and also provides some practice for the paragraph-style roleplaying in this section.

  • You mention that Drakk makes lots of friends despite being unsocial, but do not explain how or mention nearly any of these friends. Without some explanation, this doesn’t really make sense.

  • You mention Drakk referring to “a god that hates me”. We have not seen evidence to suggest that ponies have any concept of gods so far, and it seems unlikely that they do, so this part should be removed.

  • Exact ages are not allowed for this section, so rather than saying that Drakk was five when his parents died and six when he left home, he should be referred to as a small foal.

  • Drakk being left entirely alone after his parents’ death doesn’t really make sense. Someone would presumably have known about the family and known he was there, and he would have been adopted or put into some sort of foster care.

  • The cutie mark story is a bit shaky, as it doesn’t really give Drakk a “purpose” in his life. The fact that he was given a cutie mark based on a destructive and unkind act also does not really fit with the theme of the show itself. This should be adjusted, at least.

  • Why did Drakk choose to live alone in a cave for so long, and how did he survive there on his own? This should be expanded upon.

  • Connection to cast characters are not allowed in these applications, so your pony cannot have worked for the princesses or spent time with Luna.

  • Referring to somepony as a “psychopath” doesn’t really fit the context of the pony universe. A different word choice should be used here.

  • Your character travelling with a dragon companion will be problematic, as this dragon that Drakk is often with is not a character you will be able to roleplay as (or “speak for”) at all unless you have an approved profile for him as well. The description of him is also somewhat confusing, since you call him a “full-time companion” and then say that he gets called away by his parents most of the time.

  • Your character should not be having “violent urges” to do something, as violence is generally discouraged in this section.

  • The “accidents involving snakes” that led to Drakk’s fear of them is vague and should be elaborated on.

  • Drakk would be better described as a “hired thief” than a mercenary, as this is more in line with what he actually does.

  • Each unicorn in EqE is allowed to know up to three unique spells which must be laid out and described in the “other” section. Your character cannot just be “skilled with magic”, we must know his magical arsenal ahead of time.

  • The end note of your application should be removed now that it has been read by us, since it isn’t really relevant to the character.

I realize that this is a long list, but I also have faith in your ability to address these issues and make this application ready for approval :)

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Drakk is looking much improved! Thank you for being so thorough in addressing the points in my previous review. There are still a few more things to take care of, but this should take much less time than the last edit for this character.

 

  • You say in the backstory that Drakk’s family couldn’t afford to take his mother to the hospital. However, Equestria doesn’t exactly seem like the sort of society who would turn away a gravely ill pony because they couldn’t pay for treatment. This should be changed or removed.

  • There still isn’t a complete explanation for Drakk’s missing eyebrows (although, ponies don’t usually have eyebrows anyway, so you could just not talk about them if you wanted to)

  • Though Drake is no longer mentioned in the “other” section, he is still mentioned in the “likes”. If he is mentioned there, he should be talked about elsewhere so that we know who he is. I should probably explain here that, while it would be difficult to have Drake be Drakk’s constant companion for roleplay purposes, there’s nothing wrong with him having a friend who is a dragon.

  • “Levitation”, the spell we see unicorns using on the show to pick up and move things, is considered to be something that every unicorn learns to do, and is therefore not counted among the three allowed spells. Consider it a “freebie”.

  • The other two spells could be further expanded upon, especially in terms of explaining their exact functions and limitations.

That’s all this time. Take care of these and I’ll come back to see if I can send Drakk to second approval :)

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Drakk is looking much improved! Thank you for being so thorough in addressing the points in my previous review. There are still a few more things to take care of, but this should take much less time than the last edit for this character.[/size]

 


  • You say in the backstory that Drakk’s family couldn’t afford to take his mother to the hospital. However, Equestria doesn’t exactly seem like the sort of society who would turn away a gravely ill pony because they couldn’t pay for treatment. This should be changed or removed.
     

  • There still isn’t a complete explanation for Drakk’s missing eyebrows (although, ponies don’t usually have eyebrows anyway, so you could just not talk about them if you wanted to)
     

  • Though Drake is no longer mentioned in the “other” section, he is still mentioned in the “likes”. If he is mentioned there, he should be talked about elsewhere so that we know who he is. I should probably explain here that, while it would be difficult to have Drake be Drakk’s constant companion for roleplay purposes, there’s nothing wrong with him having a friend who is a dragon.
     

  • “Levitation”, the spell we see unicorns using on the show to pick up and move things, is considered to be something that every unicorn learns to do, and is therefore not counted among the three allowed spells. Consider it a “freebie”.
     

  • The other two spells could be further expanded upon, especially in terms of explaining their exact functions and limitations.
     

That’s all this time. Take care of these and I’ll come back to see if I can send Drakk to second approval :)[/size]

Done, I suppose.

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Apologies for the lateness in reply, but have read over your character again and am ready with another review of him. Before I begin, I should mention that although I could tell by looking at the comments that you wanted Drakk to be reviewed again, he should be marked as not being WIP to let us know that he is ready for reviewing.

  • After discussing Drakk with some of the other EqE staff, it has been decided that the slitted eyes are not acceptable for this section. I apologize for having you come up with an explanation for them only to later tell you that they must be changed, but among our rules is that ponies must look the way they are presented in the show.

  • The teleportation spell is considered to be very powerful magic, and is reserved for ponies who specialize in magic study (like Twilight, who’s special talent is magic). This spell will need to be replaced with something else.

  • The family’s financial issues in relation to the mother’s medical treatment still doesn’t sit right with me. Equestria is not a society in which it would be considered normal or even acceptable to refuse treatment based on finances, in fact I wouldn’t be surprised if their medical system was free to use (though I won’t go too deep into the potential pony medical system here). It would make more sense to me to have the father leave in search of a cure that the doctors couldn’t provide.

  • The part of the “other” section where you describe Drakk as having been on many adventures seems a bit oddly placed. It seems like it would be better to describe Drakk as adventurous in his personality, or to detail at least some of his adventures in his backstory.

  • Saying Drakk “usually explores his past memories” would be better worded as “often explores his past memories”. The word “usually” would imply that he’s in these flashbacks more often than not, while “often” would just suggest that this is something he does on a regular basis.

Hopefully none of these will be too much trouble for you. If you have any questions about them, feel free to message me with your inquiry.

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Apologies for the lateness in reply, but have read over your character again and am ready with another review of him. Before I begin, I should mention that although I could tell by looking at the comments that you wanted Drakk to be reviewed again, he should be marked as not being WIP to let us know that he is ready for reviewing.

  • After discussing Drakk with some of the other EqE staff, it has been decided that the slitted eyes are not acceptable for this section. I apologize for having you come up with an explanation for them only to later tell you that they must be changed, but among our rules is that ponies must look the way they are presented in the show.

  • The teleportation spell is considered to be very powerful magic, and is reserved for ponies who specialize in magic study (like Twilight, who’s special talent is magic). This spell will need to be replaced with something else.

  • The family’s financial issues in relation to the mother’s medical treatment still doesn’t sit right with me. Equestria is not a society in which it would be considered normal or even acceptable to refuse treatment based on finances, in fact I wouldn’t be surprised if their medical system was free to use (though I won’t go too deep into the potential pony medical system here). It would make more sense to me to have the father leave in search of a cure that the doctors couldn’t provide.

  • The part of the “other” section where you describe Drakk as having been on many adventures seems a bit oddly placed. It seems like it would be better to describe Drakk as adventurous in his personality, or to detail at least some of his adventures in his backstory.

  • Saying Drakk “usually explores his past memories” would be better worded as “often explores his past memories”. The word “usually” would imply that he’s in these flashbacks more often than not, while “often” would just suggest that this is something he does on a regular basis.

Hopefully none of these will be too much trouble for you. If you have any questions about them, feel free to message me with your inquiry.

I believe I've changed it to yer points, hopefully.

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It looks like you’ve taken care of what I asked you to. There are just a couple more things, then you should be all set :)

  • While I notice that his eyes are no longer described as slitted, they are still shown that way in the image for him. I realize that changing the image may be overly difficult, so I just ask that you make a note in the appearance section that the pony has normally shaped pupils rather than the slitted ones shown.

  • I like the new spell you added, it suits your character really well! I do have a few adjustments to the spells though, just ways to further define exactly what he is capable of. For the invisibility, I would say that he is only able to use telekinesis (what you refer to as levitation) while invisible, and that he can’t do too much “heavy lifting” with his magic while invisible. For the unlocking, I would note that his spell works on regular locks, not necessarily on enchanted locks.
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It looks like you’ve taken care of what I asked you to. There are just a couple more things, then you should be all set :)

  • While I notice that his eyes are no longer described as slitted, they are still shown that way in the image for him. I realize that changing the image may be overly difficult, so I just ask that you make a note in the appearance section that the pony has normally shaped pupils rather than the slitted ones shown.

  • I like the new spell you added, it suits your character really well! I do have a few adjustments to the spells though, just ways to further define exactly what he is capable of. For the invisibility, I would say that he is only able to use telekinesis (what you refer to as levitation) while invisible, and that he can’t do too much “heavy lifting” with his magic while invisible. For the unlocking, I would note that his spell works on regular locks, not necessarily on enchanted locks.

 

And that's that. Also, apologies if the brohoof and quote annoy you.

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And that's that. Also, apologies if the brohoof and quote annoy you.

 

Not at all, I've never been one to turn down a brohoof :P

 

Drakk looks good to me, you've taken care of everything I asked you to do, therefore I see no reason not to send you along at this point. That said, Drakk is moving on to second approval :)

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Dear Princess Celestia,

 

Today I learned that no matter how many times you try something difficult, the joy is always the same when you finally succeed.

 

Your humble subject, Randimaxis

 

[APPROVED]

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