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Leafy Quill

RivkaBobble

By RivkaBobble

    • No Not Cast Young Adult

    Leafy's coat is a sweet minty green. Her mane and tail are black and mint green, just a little darker than her coat. She wears a white bow, white watch, white vest and big, round white glasses.

    female Pegasus A quill surrounded by a vine. https://buffy.mlpforums.com/907a9e5b312a6cf12b0199038f497c34.png

    Leafy is usually a quiet, but friendly pony. When she prefers not to talk, she's quite dull though. Leafy isn't a shy pony, but there are times when she's in the mood to talk, which is when she's outside her home, and times she doesn't, which is usually when she's writing. Leafy has an extremely broad range of ideas, and has no problem creating an entire book on a single event in Equestrian history.

     

    When Leafy is in a good mood, she's your average friendly pony. She greets friends or acquaintances and talks to the shop or café ponies cheerfully.

     

    When Leafy is in a depressed mood, often when she has strange snaps back to her past, she usually stays at home and just writes. When she's like that, she has more ideas than ever. Sometimes, she goes in a café to write, but doesn't order anything or talk to any of the ponies, in the café or on the way there.

     

    Leafy is very smart and clever, and her books are one of kind. She always finds joy in writing down her ideas, and even more joyful when they're published. Fan mail means more to her than anything, since it means that she can have a normal life even without her parents, who she still longs for.

    Likes: Attention <br />Crowds<br />Being mocked, laughed at or scolded <br />Being abandoned <br />

    As a filly, Leafy Quill had no father. He had gotten into an accident on the farm they lived on and was stuck in the hospital, where his injuries did away with him. Leafy, never really knowing her father, wasn't so hurt, but her mother, Wind Song, was devastated. So devastated that she had no capabilities to raise Leafy normally. Leafy was sent to her grown cousin in Canterlot. Leafy's cousin, Green Bliss, taught Leafy how to life a Canterlot life and sent her to a foal's school.

     

    Sadly, Leafy was unable to not feel homesick, but her mother couldn't take her back. Leafy started to talk less and less, as she was longing for her mother. Green Bliss tried as hard as she could to help Leafy, but all attempts at sending her to professionals were in vain. Leafy thought that she would be that way forever if she couldn't get back to her mother.

     

    Leafy's mother vacationed to Canterlot soon after, so Green Bliss sent Leafy to spend time with her. Sadly, Leafy's mother was too busy with her brother (not Green' s father), Breezen, who Wind said, "He is the only pony who understands me". Now Leafy thought that she would never be the same.

     

    In this time, Leafy took a huge liking to history. She especially liked to read about events that almost resulted in the destruction of Equestria or other empires like Discord's rein or King Sombra's rule in the Crystal Empire. She read countless history books when an idea popped into her head, "Why don't I write historical fiction?"

     

    Leafy made a story inspired from the coronation of a princess called The Coronation. It was her first book to introduce Lovesparkle, the kind and caring filly she loves, who saved the coronation of another original character, Princess Yellow Melon. Green Bliss was the first to notice at dinner that evening that Leafy had gotten her cutie mark: A quill surrounded by a smooth green vine. The quill represented her love of writing. The vine represented how her love would only grow. Green joked that as she loved it more and wrote more, the vine would grow larger. Leafy knew that now her ambitions would power her instead of the need for her mother.

     

    She began to write books longer books. At first, they were still fairly short stories. As time went on, she made actual books and had them published. All off her published books took place in Discord's reign, the short while when Night Mare Moon had returned, King Sombra's rule, and many other events. Leafy now talks to some ponies, but not all, as she can tell she isn't totally helpless and can have her own ambitions with achieving such a goal.

    Leafy' s books:
    The Dark Princess Returns - Night Mare Moon
    The Emperor of Chaos - Discord
    He Who Darkens Crystals - King Sombra
    Beasts of Song - The Sirens
    The Changling Queen - Queen Chrysalis
    A WIP: Thief of Magic - Tirek

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Troblems

Hi @@RivkaBobble,

 

While I like this character, I feel like the information given is quite sparse. You give more about the characters she writes about than of her, particularly in the personality section. If you could beef that up a bit more, that would be good. Additionally, normally members try to paint their characters in a positive light. Even though they all have negative qualities, those aren't usually the first thing list. And so I'd like to ask, why is the first words to describe her "quite dull?"

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Eloquence

Hello Rivka :)

 

Leafy is quite the interesting little pegasus, but her backstory needs some revising before she can be accepted.

 

  • Wind Song should be named when she is first talked about, rather than a few paragraphs later

  • Leafy is missing a cutie mark story. As this is a very important life event for your character, it should be explained how she earned her mark

  • There is also no explanation for why she started talking to ponies again. It seems implied that she’s improving from her foalhood, but there is no explanation for this

  • Are the books Leafy writes accounts of historic events, or are they historical fiction?

  • I find it odd that Leafy only writes history-based stories when you do not describe her as having an interest in history. If that’s what she writes about, then it seems as if that should be a main interest for her.

  • What book or series is Lovesparkle from, and how does she fit in if Leafy only writes about historical events? Does she add her own characters to these events?

  • The changeling queen’s name is spelled “Chrysalis”, so the spelling can be fixed and the note can be removed
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RivkaBobble
Hello Rivka :)[/size]

 

Leafy is quite the interesting little pegasus, but her backstory needs some revising before she can be accepted.[/size]

 


  • Wind Song should be named when she is first talked about, rather than a few paragraphs later
     

  • Leafy is missing a cutie mark story. As this is a very important life event for your character, it should be explained how she earned her mark
     

  • There is also no explanation for why she started talking to ponies again. It seems implied that she’s improving from her foalhood, but there is no explanation for this
     

  • Are the books Leafy writes accounts of historic events, or are they historical fiction?
     

  • I find it odd that Leafy only writes history-based stories when you do not describe her as having an interest in history. If that’s what she writes about, then it seems as if that should be a main interest for her.
     

  • What book or series is Lovesparkle from, and how does she fit in if Leafy only writes about historical events? Does she add her own characters to these events?
     
  • The changeling queen’s name is spelled “Chrysalis”, so the spelling can be fixed and the note can be removed

· I honestly don't know why I didn't name Wind Song immediately, to be honest.

· The cutie Mark story slipped my mind completely. Yikes.

· When she star she began to write books, and earned her cutie mark, she began to see that it wasn't only her mother who could make her happy, but rather the ambitions she chose and found.

· Historical Fiction, yes.

· Sorry, I'll edit in an interest for it when I write her cutie mark story.

· As they're fiction, she makes her own characters as the heroes, and Lovesparkle is featured in a few of these fictions.

· It's just the name I always forget, y'know?

She should be edited in a bit :)

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Eloquence

Leafy is looking much improved, and it looks like you more or less covered each of my points in addition to adding some new material. Thank you for that. However, reading through her revised application I was still able to pick out a few issues, so I have a few more things for you to work on before Leafy can be sent to second approval.

 

  • We ask that specific mental disorder names not be used outside of the “other” section of an application, and to not be used at all unless they are describing something that a character has. On a related note, based on what you’ve written your character actually does not seem to have any of the symptoms of either of those disorders, therefore it would not make sense for anyone to consider her to have them.

  • I am not sure if you meant for the “filly’s school” to actually be gender-specific or not, but it would be best if the school was simply a “foal’s school”, as we have seen no examples that I can recall to date of divisions by gender in Equestria.

  • I am glad that you have now written a proper cutie mark story for your character, but I think your application would be improved by having the story be integrated into the backstory rather than just being included at the end

  • This comment in your backstory caught my attention. “When she star she began to write books, and earned her cutie mark, she began to see that it wasn't only her mother who could make her happy, but rather the ambitions she chose and found”. Given that you say something pretty important about your character here, it seems to me like that information should appear in your character’s backstory as well.

  • I would still like to know where the character of Lovesparkle comes from, given her importance to your character. You don’t have to give me a list of course, but if you could give me a first story in which she appeared that would suffice.

  • While giving your character another look, I noticed something about her cutie mark. The symbolism of the quill and ink pot are obvious of course, but I am not sure what the vine is supposed to symbolize. Her ability to grow through her writing perhaps? Giving this information would be helpful for understanding the character.
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RivkaBobble

(Editing on my comp today. Don't have the fancy dots)

- Right. Sorry.

- Didn't really. Just forgot that fillies are a female term. It is a unisex school :)

- Ok. I'll find a nice way to squeeze it in. If I have to copy paste it, I will.

- Ok. I had only thought of it while doing her cutie mark story.

- Lovesparkle first appeared in The Emperor of Chaos. I'll add it in.

- I didn't give much thought to the cutie mark, and I considered the vine just something to make it a little fancier (and it loaded properly). I can whip up a little story on it.

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