Xavier To'hmas

By Bronium

• May 31, 2012




Age: 18

Gender: Male

Species: Non-Pony

Personality: Xavier has always been a shy guy, and not the sitting at the corner of the room at a party shy. The more, starves himself because he doesn't go to the grocery store to get food because he doesn't want to talk to anyone shy.<br />He never has tried to stand out among his peers. That's not to say he isn't anything special, indeed many of his teachers would rate him to be the brightest of the class, but he never raises his hand, preferring the cold corners of the class room.<br />He never had that many friends, not that he broke their trust as much as he never could put trust into any of his friends. Normally they found him boring enough that they would just abandon him.<br />Has a very low self esteem, constantly berating himself, never achieving any satisfaction from his work.

Backstory: Constantly, throughout his life Xavier has never felt comfortable around others. The social pressures and expectations of society asked him to conform, to distort his identity so as to be normal. He wasn't what society wanted him to be, so he had to constantly monitor himself. He couldn't make a mistake, otherwise we wouldn't be normal. So he made sure he didn't make those mistakes. Yet as time went on, this was harder to do. He began to have ideas that society would reject, he had to more closely watch himself, further shattering his identity, only to put it back together as something society might deem acceptable. As days went by, he needed to break that glass more and more, till eventually, it came to a point where he could no longer reassemble the shattered pieces of himself. He began to go out less, harming himself than rather than interacting with others. He would rather starve than go out and get the groceries. He would bleed to death rather than going to the hospital. His parents eventually noticed and brought him to a psychiatrist. He prescribed some anti-depressants. He also recommended some talk therapy but his parents almost immediately rejected the idea, unable to bear the embarrassment of it. The drugs helped for a while, until recently...<br />It was his 18th birthday. They invited his whole grade to his big birthday bash, as they liked to call it. They all waiting downstairs, ready to surprise Xavier, all waiting in silence. Yet Xavier never came downstairs. His parents, already embarrassed cam upstairs to see what was wrong. They knocked on Xavier's bedroom.<br />One knock. No reply. <br />Two knocks.Not a word.<br />Three knocks. This time loud and hard. Silence.<br />Constantly, throughout his life Xavier has never felt comfortable around others. The social pressures and expectations of society asked him to conform, to distort his identity so as to be normal. He wasn't what society wanted him to be, so he had to constantly monitor himself. He couldn't make a mistake, otherwise we wouldn't be normal. So he made sure he didn't make those mistakes. Yet as time went on, this was harder to do. He began to have ideas that society would reject, he had to more closely watch himself, further shattering his identity, only to put it back together as something society might deem acceptable. As days went by, he needed to break that glass more and more, till eventually, it came to a point where he could no longer reassemble the shattered pieces of himself. He began to go out less, harming himself than rather than interacting with others. He would rather starve than go out and get the groceries. He would bleed to death rather than going to the hospital. His parents eventually noticed and brought him to a psychiatrist. He prescribed some anti-depressants. He also recommended some talk therapy but his parents almost immediately rejected the idea, unable to bear the embarrassment of it. The drugs helped for a while, until recently...<br />It was his 18th birthday. They invited his whole grade to his big birthday bash, as they liked to call it. They all waiting downstairs, ready to surprise Xavier, all waiting in silence. Yet Xavier never came downstairs. His parents, already embarrassed, came upstairs to see what was wrong. They knocked on Xavier's bedroom.<br />One knock. No reply. <br />Two knocks. Not a word.<br />Three knocks. This time loud and hard. Silence.<br />They opened the door to find Xavier in bed, just lying there. They motioned for him to come down but he shook his head. He was paralyzed. He was stuck in his bed. He couldn't move. Days went by and Xavier was still in his bed, doing absolutely nothing. The parents had no choice. They had to send him to a "mental institution”. And now here we are.<br />