Idea for a scene in "Equestria's Last Hope: Prism Force"(Advice?)

[Tom Snyder 4,112]

So as the title states, i had this come into my head for a really good scene to use; but i only will if you guys think it'll work. so here goes:

 

 

Tainted Mist comes back for round two. And this is about the conflict between Star Shine and Tainted Mist, Tainted Mist torments Star Shines's dreams every night after being awoken, but it takes three nights of nightmares for Star Shine to act and try to find out more about Tainted Mist; but Celestia and Luna won't say a word about it; concerned that if they do, it will cause panic among the citizens. 

 

So this makes Star Shine take things into her own hooves, experimenting in lucid dreams; much like Luna can do, this is her backup plan to find out what's really happening and who this mare really is. But as she finds out, she comes face to face with her during the fifth nightmare after trying to get more information. Being thrown at her hooves, Star Shine is made to look at her; as you know, Tainted Mist doesn't like ponies not looking at her and showing no fear. Star Shine isn't the one to scare easily, but those past nightmares seem to have some effect on her own psyche; making her afraid of Tainted Mist. 

 

But after hearing what Tainted Mist has planned, her fear dissipates completely; leaving Tainted Mist disappointed and start using her magic to make Star Shine show it again; but as much as she tries; Star doesn't. But after being thrown into a cell(sound familiar?), Star Shines almost gives up, but help from the inside allows her the means to escape. Its one of her own servants who was to bring anything Star needed; but its not what you think, Tainted Mist wants to bring down her resolve. 

 

Tainted Mist then proceeds to trap Star in darkness, trying to break her, using all her fears one after another. Feelings of self doubt, the moments she lived in the orphanage, etc. 

 

Star escapes by using dark magic of her own, but forces her way through the guards that try to stop her along the way to the throne room. That's where she meets Tainted Mist again, and this time, Star has zero control over her own emotions. What Tainted had done to her, all the things Mist would do if she were freed from this place; Star can't help but feel she has to stop her no matter the cost. So i guess you could say the dark magic has taken over her emotions and uses it to fuel the magic.

 

Having magic bolts cast at her, Tainted Mist decides to have some fun; its been a while since she enjoyed a good game. Star manages to push her back with each cast of dark magic; almost overwhelming her(Tainted Mist enjoys it). But Tainted Mist reveals she has been holding back and breaks the suppression spell Luna placed on her 100 years ago. This allows her full abilities to come flooding out. She then proceeds to overwhelm Star completely and outclasses her by a huge gap in between them.Tainted Mist gets bored after seeing such low experience in the way Star uses dark magic, disappointed that she can't have the fun she always wanted.

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And this i think fits well with how Dark Mist/Tainted Mist is, what to expect in future appearances:

Edited April 5, 2015 by Candy Star