Revival of an old fic

[Tom Snyder 4,112]

I have an old fic that i wish to revive, which was called, "The Saiyan's Arrival" but i'm not sure how to rewrite it. These two i've decided to name Hiro and Aiko, two young saiyans who come to equestria through a gate in a cave when playing with Son Goku(their father). But when they find the gate, Hiro accidentally activates it and they are taken to the MLP universe.

 

There they meet Celestia and Luna, who offer them hospitality in exchange for information about the gate they traveled through to get there. Along the way, they meet the mane six and each learns about the other's worlds; an equivalent exchange. But silly antics ensue during their stay, often between RD and Hiro. 

 

Hiro is the prankster of the twin duo and also the most generous, though i struggled to think of comedic situations; i had a poor sense of judgement for the prank Hiro pulls o RD when she's asleep o her cloud. This will be painful to say, but what Hiro does is gather some freezing cold water and dumps it on RD, but this causes RD to retaliate and try to get back at him. 

 

Aiko is the more serious one of them, usually not amused by Hiro's pranks; but tolerates everything else. Aiko never leaves Hiro's side for one minute, knowing how much mischief Hiro can cause when left alone. 

_________________

 

I'm not doing this because i like the anime or the characters, its just a SoL fic. But the Prank i will admit was in bad taste and really old, but i just don't know any good pranks to pull on RD that would get people laughing. I would love it if i could get some help here, on some comedy tips.

Edited May 18, 2015 by Candy Star

[KiyohimeAlicorn 60]

Let your creativity flow and I'm sure you'll get it

[Tom Snyder 4,112]

Let your creativity flow and I'm sure you'll get it

Easier said than done. The jokes i've done in the past month or weeks were just the ones i made on the fly, but when i'm doing a scene like that; i just freeze up and have nothing.

Edited May 18, 2015 by Candy Star

[KiyohimeAlicorn 60]

Well Hiro could use an electric finger or something

[Tom Snyder 4,112]

Well Hiro could use an electric finger or something

You mean those plastic buzzers?

like this?

I can see this gag being funny, but only if i do it right.

[KiyohimeAlicorn 60]

I'll help you with this sample

Bzzzz rainbow dash pulled her hoove away " What in Equestria was that for, Hiro?!

[Tom Snyder 4,112]

I know how to make her react, i was just checking what you meant by electric finger(lol).