Pruno: A Short Play in One Act.

[NomadSpellbrush 1,291]

I present "Pruno:  A Short Play in One Act."

Opening:  We see a prison cell, with a wooden bench, three simple bunks, and a toilet.

Rarity:  "So what was this...prion made with again?"

Berry Punch:  "Ish called Pruno *HIC*.  Lesshe, it'sh got...uh, ketchup, and...uh, fruit cocktail, candy, shome ol' applesh I found in th' kitchen garbage bin...AN' A POTATO!" *hic*  "Like, all natural shtuff, y'know? Ish GOOD for ya!"  <Swigs> Yeah, thish prion is primo!"  

Applejack:  "Yeah, I thought I could get justa lil' hint of apples in that..." <takes a mouthful and grimaces>.  "Yeurrrrrgh...yeah, definitely ain't Sweet Apple Acres.  But if ya need a buzz, it'll get ya hammered.  Ya could strip rust with this."  <Takes a larger swallow and visibly shudders>

Berry Punch:  "Heh, I *HIC* know, right?"

Rarity:  <Gagging>  "You're actually DRINKING that?  It smells like an open sewer!  I mean that--it literally smells like something you fished out of an open Las Pegasus sewer! It's vomit-green and it's actually drawing flies! FLIES, Berry!  Nothing that smells like...like THAT and attracts FLIES can be safe for anypony to ingest!"  

Berry Punch:  "Heh, jusht a coupla fruit-flies, Rarit-*HIC*Rarit-*HIC*Rarit-*HIC* Rares."

Rarity:  <Howls> "THEY'RE STILL SCAVENGING INSECTS! AND IT SMELLS LIKE MONTH-OLD TOILET SCUM!" 

Berry Punch:  "Y-yeah, we kinda brew it up in th' *HIC* toilet tank.  Some of the old timersh like t' call it 'dumpster juice.'  Theresh an art to it, y' gotta keep an' eye on it or the bag'll *HIC* explode on ya... "

Rarity: "I THINK I SAW IT MOVE!  IS IT MOVING?  IT'S MOVING!"

Berry Punch:  "Nah, it usually *hic* gets hot enough t' kill it.  Then y' gotta keep stirring it or it'll clot..."

Applejack:  "Y'know, this ain't bad.  Once ya get past th' taste...and th' smell..and those little bits of whatever-they-ares that keep gettin' stuck in your teeth...and th' slime...it ain't half bad.  Seriously, Rares, we're only here for three months, you need t' relax."  

Rarity:  <hammering on the bars>  "WARDEN!  GUARDS!  I CHANGED MY MIND!  I WANT SOLITARY!  GIVE ME SOLITARY, I BEG YOU!"  

Fin

 

http://spellboundcanvas.deviantart.com/art/Prison-Hooch-539193574