Twilie'Zorah: A Short Autobiography

[Twiliscael 3,960]

Since oodles of you guys (a whopping 0) have been asking me all about myself, I'm going to write you guys a Wikipedia-style article about myself!

 

Twilie'Zorah at his first birthday party.

 

Twilie'Zorah, born in 1813,is an American pimp mcswagger daddy. He grew up in your imagination with his 3 fathers, Denzil Washington, George Lopez, and Steven Tyler. He studied at Princess Celestia's School for Faggot Unicorns.

 

He has been the leader of the mob since 1969 and a neurosurgeon. He has won 1,000s of awards, but only the top 5 will be mentioned in this article.

• Sexiest Teenager Award

• Emmy Award for his Performance in Finding Nemo

• 3 Superbowl Rings (For the Giants, Yankees, and Nets)

• Most Russians Killed in one Day

• Biggest Faggot on the Face of the Internet.

His work on the popular show, Your Particulatry Large Human: Hatred is Awesome has won millions of awards and earned thousands of crazed fanatics called "Humans", a combination of the words "Hugh" and "Jackman." He is married to 3 people, Twilight Sparkle, Tali'Zorah, and Agatha (popular for her minor role in Fallout 3). He has worked on many films, which will be mentioned below.

• Several Pornos
• Titanic
• Finding Nemo
• Toy Story
• Your Particularly Large Human: Hatred is Awesome: The Movie
• Several more pornos
• Safe House
• Spiderman 1 and 8
• Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter

He has also developed several popular video games and starred in several more. He is most known for playing Liberty Prime in Fallout 3 and Bowser in the original Mario Bros. for NES. He has developed:

• Halo 2
• Earthbound
• Pikmin
• PacMan
• Pakmin
• Pikman
• Shout of Duty: Mideveil Peacetime

At one point, he experimented with vodka, cocaine, submachine gun rounds, and necromancy to bring Steve Jobs back to life, only to realize that Apple's products are shit and Steve Jobs was a dick, which ended in Twilie killing him in a western style duel. The video is up on Youtube.

 

When Twilie was a young boy, his father took him into the city to see a marching band. He told him "Son when you grow up, would you be the savior of the broken, the beaten and the damned? Because one day, I'll leave you, a phantom to lead you in the summer. To join the black parade." Just then, his father threw him off a 6 story building and ran into a parade of black people romping through the streets New York City with chainsaws and machine guns. He was never seen again. After Twilie recovered from his injury using only a platsic spork, 3 fingers, and a deal with the devil, Twilie went on to live as a hermit who secludes himself from all real social interaction. He is a constant browser of many internet forums and threads, one of his main hobbies being a complete little bitch who watches My Little Pony for attention.

 

Edited August 6, 2012 by Twilie'Zorah

[Starshine 16,334]

Twilie is a great man, but can he see why kids love Cinnamon Toast Crunch?

[Twiliscael 3,960]

Twilie is a great man, but can he see why kids love Cinnamon Toast Crunch?

 

It's the cinnamon, mon!