the true tale of nightmare moon, part 1: Cris

[Punk_rawk 0]

alright, this fic is currently down for maintenance. things got brought to my attention, so i'm going to fix it up. it'll come back better than ever...in about a week

Edited September 13, 2012 by Punk_rawk

[DeiStar 248]

I'd really, really, really, really correct all of the atrocious errors.

 

First of, ALWAYS capitalize the first letter at the beginning of a new sentece.

Break the walls of text into paragraphs.

While we're on paragraphs, never have two characters speaking in the same paragraph.

There are lots of missing periods and commas out there. I'll give you an example of how to use them:

 

"Hello, Twilight. Nice day," Applejack said.

 

As you see, you add a comma before the speaking verb. Also, don't forget the capital letter at the beginning, and the period at the end. Now, if you don't want to use a speaking verb:

 

"Hello, Twilight. Nice day." Applejack waved a hoof around.

 

If you use a physical description or something else that is not a speaking verb, you replace the comma with a period.

 

 

Anyway, I'd get a proof-reader to point out the basic mistakes before publishing this anywhere.

Edited September 12, 2012 by DeiStar

[Punk_rawk 0]

I'd really, really, really, really correct all of the atrocious errors.

 

First of, ALWAYS capitalize the first letter at the beginning of a new sentece.

Break the walls of text into paragraphs.

While we're on paragraphs, never have two characters speaking in the same paragraph.

There are lots of missing periods and commas out there. I'll give you an example of how to use them:

 

"Hello, Twilight. Nice day," Applejack said.

 

As you see, you add a comma before the speaking verb. Also, don't forget the capital letter at the beginning, and the period at the end. Now, if you don't want to use a speaking verb:

 

"Hello, Twilight. Nice day." Applejack waved a hoof around.

 

If you use a physical description or something else that is not a speaking verb, you replace the comma with a period.

 

 

Anyway, I'd get a proof-reader to point out the basic mistakes before publishing this anywhere.

 

Thank you, I have noticed I'm terrible at that. I corrected as much as I could, but I will correct this and have my friend proof-read the other parts. But if I may ask, what did you think of the story itself?