Your thoughts sexism/sexist people.

[Thrashy 2,800]

I think it's just fine to speak out against a joke that you find sexist. Freedom of speech may allow them to make that joke, but it also allows me to voice my distaste for it. And voice my distaste I will, because if I stay quiet, then the only people left talking are the ones spewing unchallenged sexism.

 

You may be entitled to express distaste for a joke, but that's as far as that entitlement extends. No one is entitled to claim for the person making the joke that their intentions behind making it are ill. In the same sense, no one with distaste for such jokes is entitled to make a sweeping claim that they are demeaning to all members of the group that is supposedly being "marginalized".

 

To state that the nature of a specific joke is always sexist/racist/homophobic/otherwise offensive is an absolute statement, but it is not always a factual one. By making such an absolute statement, you are necessarily declaring as fact that A.) the person making potentially insensitive jokes IS speaking them with mal intent, and that B.) any person who could be offended by such jokes SHOULD be offended by them. This is a highly counterproductive mode of thought which undermines the chief elements of humor (i.e., hyperbole and misfortune) and acts against the highly necessary human ability to cope with life's difficulties by seeing the humor in dark or otherwise unfortunate situations.

 

Case in point: I tell my sister to go make me a sandwich. She laughs and tells me to shut up. We go on about our day. (This has actually happened.) In this scenario, I have imparted no malice towards her by making the joke (as I have made no clear indication that I actually believe that women's place is in the kitchen), and in turn, she has detected no malice. The joke is rendered harmless; nobody has any ground to claim that I have offended my sister, for neither did I try to offend her, nor was she actually offended. No sexism actually happened, but any radical feminist can claim, on my sister's behalf, that it did, despite her objections to the contrary.

 

Disagree if you will, but anyone who tries to tell me what I mean when I make an off-color joke clearly has their head in their ass...and even further up there, if they think the would-be offendee is somehow a discredit to their race/gender/sexual preferences/whatever by finding it funny.

 

[Dr. Mechano 630]

You may be entitled to express distaste for a joke, but that's as far as that entitlement extends. No one is entitled to claim for the person making the joke that their intentions behind making it are ill. In the same sense, no one with distaste for such jokes is entitled to make a sweeping claim that they are demeaning to all members of the group that is supposedly being "marginalized".

 

To state that the nature of a specific joke is always sexist/racist/homophobic/otherwise offensive is an absolute statement, but it is not always a factual one. By making such an absolute statement, you are necessarily declaring as fact that A.) the person making potentially insensitive jokes IS speaking them with mal intent, and that B.) any person who could be offended by such jokes SHOULD be offended by them. This is a highly counterproductive mode of thought which undermines the chief elements of humor (i.e., hyperbole and misfortune) and acts against the highly necessary human ability to cope with life's difficulties by seeing the humor in dark or otherwise unfortunate situations.

 

Case in point: I tell my sister to go make me a sandwich. She laughs and tells me to shut up. We go on about our day. (This has actually happened.) In this scenario, I have imparted no malice towards her by making the joke (as I have made no clear indication that I actually believe that women's place is in the kitchen), and in turn, she has detected no malice. The joke is rendered harmless; nobody has any ground to claim that I have offended my sister, for neither did I try to offend her, nor was she actually offended. No sexism actually happened, but any radical feminist can claim, on my sister's behalf, that it did, despite her objections to the contrary.

 

Disagree if you will, but anyone who tries to tell me what I mean when I make an off-color joke clearly has their head in their ass...and even further up there, if they think the would-be offendee is somehow a discredit to their race/gender/sexual preferences/whatever by finding it funny.

 

My rebuttal is that your intentions are far less important than the results.

 

Most people who make jokes like that "didn't mean to offend anyone," and I don't doubt their sincerity most of the time. They probably truly didn't consider what they were saying to be offensive or bigoted, but it doesn't change the fact that trivializing prejudice normalizes that prejudice. It makes it seem like less of a big deal, which is troubling because it kind of is one, and it's kind of still happening. On an interpersonal level, you also have to understand that many people don't like having their race/sex/sexuality joked about, and you should respect that.

 

Let's say you accidentally stepped on my foot. If I asked you to get off of it, I'm pretty sure you would, not go on a huge spiel about how it was never your intention to hurt my foot, and how dare I complain about being hurt by it. No, you'd just remove it like a sensible human being. I think the same mentality should apply to verbal harm - If you say something that hurts someone, and they make a point of letting you know how the comment made them feel, the decent thing to do would be to stop doing the thing that hurt them; Even if it's just not doing it around/toward that person (In the case of someone like your sister, who understands and is also okay with it, that's fine - you two have an understanding and both agree that it's okay).

 

Yeah, though, I don't care if you mean to come across as prejudiced to someone or not, in the same way I don't care if you meant to step on my foot or not; It hurts regardless of whether it's malicious or accidental, and if someone is hurt by it, I think the proper thing to do is to step off and avoid doing it again rather than get defensive about your right to say whatever you want; I don't question that you can, I'm talking about whether or not you should.