Great idea for a Head-Canon fanfiction! Need thoughts!

[Fantasma Phantasm 673]

Here we go!: Many Millienia before even Celestia's and Luna's time, there was a Supreme Goddess Alicorn known as Omni-essence, creator of the Poniverse we know now. (other than lauren faust LOL!) Before there were Earth ponies, unicorns, and pegasi, All were only Alicorns, fitted with their own powers to control the world and beyond. Governing said Alicorns was Omni-essence's second, Grey Ark. If an Alicorn was inflicting bad choices in forming the worlds of the poniverse, he would go speak to Omni-essence and ask for what would be a suitable consequence. Soon though, she entrusted him with the power of consequence without her supervision and carried out said orders with pride. All was in good harmony.... for now.... Omni-essence grew worried of her second. He became a dictator towards the Alicorns. He would inflict unreasonable punishments for minor problems, so much so that he take away some of an Alicorns powers such as, their horn or wings or maybe even both! He was increasingly rude towards her as well. As time passed, Omni-essence was driven to drastic measures. She entrusted an Alicorn family with sacred items known as Glass hearts. The Glass hearts are the purist form of light next to the Supreme Goddess herself. All the while, She was creating the most powerful items and if used right, can surpass even her power, The Elements of Harmony. These are the objects that are to bring an end to Grey Ark's treachery. He soon, though, finds out about this and his anger grows to unimaginable heights. His rage then causes him to transcend into another form that he calls 'Endays'. He then proceeds fight against Omni-essence, the battle lasting for hundreds of years! The war finally ends with 'Endays' in defeat. She then seals 'Endays' into the highest peak of her favorite world, the world where the land of Equestria will be settled upon, the glass hearts sealing his presence. A few Alicorns remained,  one being the family that will build into what shall be known as the crystal kingdom, the other family being the ones who will create the new Goddess's of the new world.  She gave said families marks on their flanks that predetermines their destinies. She showed them what the ponies that lost there powers shall be labled. Earth ponies, ponies without wings or a horn. Unicorns, ponies with only a horn. and Pegasi, ponies with wings. She gave the families the power to rule over the new world. Why did she do all this? She was to finally transcend into the universe and leave the inhabitants to their own devices. She gave the Goddess family a seed to grow a tree that will store the Elements of Harmony in the far future. But, she then sets her eyes on a young unicorn mare, she gives her a second seed as a gift to the land of Equestria. She called it 'harmony rebirth'. Omni-essence finally gave her goodbyes, her last request was not to praise her, for she had unbeknownst set chaos into the universe by letting Grey Ark Govern. She finally transcended. Years go by and 'Enday's power splits into three separate powers. Chaos, evil darkness, and Loveless (think changlings.). All the ponies of there own race split into different regions shunning eachother. After many years though, the Glass hearts start to fade until there was only one left. And so, the seal started to fade slowly....           Sooooooo? any ideas!? what should stay? What should go!? Is good or bad so far? IDEAS PONIES IDEAS!!! (JK!)

Edited January 24, 2014 by Mr.Green

[CHAOS_FANTAZY 42]

Grey Ark seems too cut-and-dry.  He's very simplistic in nature; an "evil for the sake of being evil" character.  He presumably gained nothing from revoking other alicorns of their power, and moreover, why would it make him mad to learn of the Elements of Harmony's existence?  I could understand growing greedy and wanting them for himself, perhaps, but...seething rage?

 

Also, the whole thing lends itself to a clear-cut depiction of evil (Multiple evils that are basically unrelated, even), which is boring.

[Fantasma Phantasm 673]

Thank you! Now I should of explained why he was mad in the first place. His views of discipline were extreme. He felt that the Alicorns were reckless and lacked the discipline as creators, thus removing their powers so that he may 'right' their 'wrong' doings. Now this is something else I should of explained. Omni-essence had confronted Grey Ark many times about his behavior towards th Alicorns and constantly scolded him. He seethed at the fact that Omni-essence of all ponies would be against his ways!  So slowly he began to rebel against Omni-essence. Omni-essence knew this and created the Elements to defeat evil like him. She knew there was no way to sway him away from his misguidedness. This is why he became so angry at the elements. Since he is the second of Omni-essence, a complex emotion such as anger can easily raise his power greatly, causing his thoughts to be darker and have the power to fight Omni-essence. Does this help any?  Maybe make him a little more interesting?

He now has hatred toward all life. The hatred of others fuels his return.

Edited January 24, 2014 by Mr.Green