My OC (Shooting Star)'s backstory

[RainboomCrash 173]

Hey everypony,

So I made an OC called Shooting Star, who I am to write some fan fiction centred around, and have started by beginning to write her backstory (which I'm going to include in the first fan fiction). I'd just like to ask you for your opinions on what I have so far.

Thanks,

RainboomCrash

 

 

Born in Cloudsdale, her mother and father were members of the Wonderbolts, and were both great parents who cared for their daughter a lot - who was a promising young flier herself, and could go head to head with Rainbow Dash (who she was good friends with at the time) in a race any day. However, this all soon changed. One day, Star told Dash that the Wonderbolts would be performing in Ponyville, and, being a daughter of two Wonderbolts, she not only got to see them for free, but she was also offered a chance to fly with them as a cameo at the end of their performance. After boasting about the opportunity to Dash (who was incredibly jealous) for days, she eventually offered her a free ticket to see the performance, which she accepted.
Everything was going perfectly on the night of the performance: the flying was amazing, the food was amazing, and the atmosphere was just right. The time for Shooting Star's cameo was approaching; she was excited beyond belief.
"I'm going to be amazing," she asserted to Rainbow Dash, still green with envy at Star's chance to fly with the Wonderbolts. "They'll probably ask me to join right now."
The time was upon her. She looked left to see her father with a focused look on his face; she looked right to see her mother smiling at her. "Don't worry," said her mother. "You're going to be amazing."
"I know I am," replied Star calmly, full of confidence.
And then they took off. "Ponies and gentlecolts!" bellowed the announcer. "The Wonderbolts will now be performing their lap of honour; joining them will be Red Star and Yellow Star's daughter, Shooting Star!" The crowd roared at the sound of Star's name. This is it, she thought. My chance to shine.
As the Wonderbolts slowly flew around Ponyville, casually doing tricks, Star siezed her chance to grab the attention of the masses with her signature move: the falling star. She could feel the air going through her mane as she soared into the air, before turning to face the ground and tucking in her wings. She began to hurtle towards the ground head first, spinning as she did so. The crowd gasped; Star smiled. Perfect, she thought.
Just as she was about to hit the ground she slightly spread her wings and angled her body - making her glide mere feet off the ground, still spinning. The crowd cheered. Star was jubilant. However, her concentration lapsed just for a moment. At this point she was hit with a strong gust of wind and was flung into the air, spinning away from the Wonderbolts. "Shooting Star!" she heard her mother scream, as Ponyville began to seem further, and further away. And then it was black.
The next thing Shooting Star saw was the ceiling of Ponyville Hospital. She asked the nurse what had happened. "You span out and hit a tree in the Everfree Forest," she replied. "Your parents flew in after you but..." the nurse stopped.
"But what?" replied Shooting Star.
"But they never came out," replied the nurse, looking visibly saddened. "I'm so sorry, I'm sure we'll find them soon," the nurse quickly reasserted, feigning a smile.
Star began to sob, and, despite the nurse's best efforts, could not be comforted.
After spending a week in Ponyville Hospital, recovering, Shooting Star went back to Cloudsdale, and, still being a filly, went to live in the Cloudsdale orphanage. Despite numerous attempts by those around her to get her to rejoin flight school, she refused, as, in her mind, her flying was what made her parents go missing.
As time went by Star became more and more introverted, until the day she was officially an adult, at which point she immediately left Cloudsdale to meet up with the only person she was close to - Rainbow Dash, who had moved to Ponyville some years earlier.