Last week I talked a lot about how the seasons in Equestria didn't make a whole lot of sense. Then suddenly they didn't, and now thanks to THIS BUCKING EPISODE and the one airing this weekend, they don't anymore. Unless, of course, you take into account the fact that the broadcast network and/or Hasbro are manipulating time for the sake of coinciding with holidays again.

I just want to point out that Season 5 wasn't going to make it all the way to Christmas, so there was no point in saving Hearthbreakers for the holidays. Better for them to turn around and make sure Scare Master hits on Halloween.

But enough about wibbly-wobbly timey-wimey nonsense. Let's talk about the episode.

When I saw the synopsis for this episode, I was already worried. We were gonna stick the boring-as-balls rock farmers together with the cheerful upbeat apple farmers. Color me anything but impressed. Hearthbreakers proved to be pretty much anything but entertaining as I found myself being able to call half of the episode before hand, and facepalming the other half.

On the analytical end, there wasn't much going on. From the single sentence synopsis and the title of the episode, we knew the Pies and the Apples were gonna have a bad time. Figure in some clashing traditions, both families getting upset, and a resolution that brings everyone together and happy.

One thing I got hung up on was how quickly the Pies were to shun the Apples and their traditions. From a pacing standpoint, it was pretty obvious that this was done primarily to create conflict and bring us to a quicker climax. However, my disappointment stems from the fact that at least the Apple family put effort into stomaching things like rock soup, rock dolls, and the rock hunt (which ended up being a PICTURE of a rock, not an actual stone). It would have been nice to see just a little bit more give from the Pies, before ultimately asking the Apples to leave.

One of my big issues is that, fundamentally, most of the blame can be placed squarely on the Pie family. The Apples managed to endure the Pies rocky traditions, but the rock farmers were really quick to jump down the throats of the Apples. Even if we ignore the whole thing about Holder's Boulder, Igneous, Cloudy and Limestone were very firmly opposed to deviating from their practices, or rather, embracing the new ones brought by the Apple family.

In the end, Pinkie and Applejack reconcile and decide that they should both share and learn about each others traditions, instead of trying to force their own ways upon the other. I'd be okay with this moral, if it hadn't already been done to death.

Hearthbreakers pretty much mirrors morals that we've seen since the dawn of the show. Episodes like Look Before You Sleep, Over A Barrel, Sisterhooves Social, Apple Family Reunion, Bats!, Pinkie Pride, Castle Sweet Castle and Party Pooped all have similar messages about compromise and not trying to force your particular way of life on others. Hay, even the original episode about the holiday Hearth's Warming Eve was about unity and bonding, which should have done a better job of setting the mood for the holiday than it did.

All together I feel like the plot was way too predictable and that there wasn't enough time spent developing a meaningful conflict. In addition, let me touch upon a few specifics that really ground me down:

1) This bucking scene:


This joke sucked, went on for too long, and felt very uncharacteristic of Applejack.

2) The way Igneous Rock and Cloudy Quartz talk.

ARRRRGGGHHH. I had a hard time piecing together what they were trying to say as an adult. Nine-year-old me would have been lost. It was like playing Tetris. I kept waiting for the next piece to drop so I could finish the puzzle.

3) Limestone Pie.

Literally the only pony in this episode with a seriously bad attitude. Might have felt a little bit more sympathy for the Pies if it weren't for this bitch.

4) This joke. AGAIN.


But let's look on the bright side. There were actually a few things I really did like about this episode.

1) Ponyville looks absolutely AMAZING with holiday decorations.


Including Twilight's Castle:


2) Maud Pie returns!

Originally, I wasn't a huge fan of this character, but that's in part because her original episode was kind of like getting hit in the solarplexus. “Here'sthischaracterwhatdoyouthink!”
I don't know! No air. Can't breathe. *faints*
By the end of that episode, and with time, we got to process how Maud sort of functions, and see beyond her rocky exterior. And the bit about her carols absolutely killed me.

3) Marble. FREAKING. PIE.

Homigawd how cute was she!? Like a tiny gray Fluttershy without wings or words. Can. Not. Deal. Also:

THIS SHIP SAILS. AND IT'S GOT CANONS.