One man is determined to destroy Batman once and for all. His name is..... Joel Schumacher.

It's been a while since I did a review, so I might aswell get back on track. This is my review of the film that put the Batman film series ON ICE!

First, a little history. In 1989, Tim Burton released his Batman movie and it was the first time Batman was portrayed in a dark and serious manner. It was a huge hit and it's still one of the highest-grossing Batman movies. Batman Returns was also pretty damn good, but it wasn't the box-office success that Warner Bros. intended it to be. So Burton was fired and was replaced with a new director. Enter Joel Schumacher, who directed the third Batman movie, Batman Forever. This time round, they wimped out and decided to be more kid-friendly (WTF were they thinking?!) and they even had Jim Carrey as The Riddler. And boy did it suck balls! But not as much the film I'm gonna review.

First, the cast & characters. We have George Clooney as Bruce Wayne/Batman. A good choice, but it doesn't make up for the rest of the film. Then there's Chris O' Donnell as Dick Grayson/Robin. Good God, this character is annoying as hell! His dialogue consists of nothing but whining, bitching and complaining! Alicia Silverstone plays the role of Barbara Pennyworth/Batgirl. Bad performance, NEXT! Then, the villains. We have Mr. Freeze played by Arnold Schwarzenegger. Interesting choice, but the main problem is that his dialogue. It consists of nothing but insufferable puns. And I'll give you three guesses as to what they're about. Is it A.) Sex. B.) My Little Pony. or C.) ICE?

And if your answer was C, NO FUCKING SHIT SHERLOCK! Then there's Poison Ivy, played by Uma Thurman. Another bad performance, NEXT!

The main problem with this travesty of a film is that it goes way beyond the campyness of the old Batman TV Show from 1966. It is just 100% stupidity and sillyness. There's also a bit of homosexual innuendo. Well I'm Bi, so I don't really care about the gay innuendo. But still, WHAT'S THE POINT?! Here's the main example. Batman and Robin's suits have BAT-NIPPLES and BAT-ASSES!

Let's not get into that.

Then, there's the props. Holy crap, they're the worst. The Batmobile has a disco ball under the hood, all the vehicles look like retarded toys (especially Mr. Freeze's tank).

And finally, the story, soundtrack, all of that stuff is shit. There aren't words to describe their horror.

Oh, and one last thing....... Bat Credit Card

Just avoid this movie at all costs, seriously. This film doesn't get a rating, it doesn't deserve one. It is why Superman works alone (an actual quote from the movie!).