Popularity.

It's something that I've been striving for many many years now. From my real life to my online life, I just want to go to anyplace where I'm the most famous person there. I hate the fact that no one knows me no matter where I go. Even here, were I'm known, but compare to the biggest names on the forums (including mods and admins). I just a nobody like !everyone else. I'm not putting anyone down, I just want someone to look me and and say "Hey I know her!"

It sounds shallow, I know, but there's a reason and a story behind this: The life I coveted was the life I was on TV. Where the cool kids get worship everywhere they go, and my eyes sparked as I gazed at the screen, I wanted that so badly, mostly although I'm the oldest in my family, my two younger brothers were always more popular than me...all I was even known for was being a bratty little bitch...in some cases. People would always flock to them, when I was i home school, and all the girls were so armored by them...in fact every where I go the whole school would end up with someone special except me. You have no idea how much that hurt! Always watching everyone playing "house" while you there crying asking myself, "Why me?"

So when I started public school in the 8th grade, I vowed to become the most loved person there, and I thought it'll be as easy...I was wrong as hell! Despite that I did make a mane for myself, a little...but not by much.

Then came high school! *groan* This is where my despertivity showed to become known, because this was the big leagues, if I was popular here, I was set for life...but somehow the only thing I every got popular for is when people thought I was having lesbian sex with my best friend...and not in a good way!

So after epic failing in getting popular in school I decided to try and get known in a place I actually had a deep love for: The World Wide Web, so every site I ever signed up for, I had high hopes, and worked hard for people there to remember my name...but never got anywhere. However, I never gave up any of that hope, and til this day, I still strive to get famous...even on here.

But how can I? With TTD's wit, Feldo's awesome powers, Arylett's creativity and a her je ne sais quoi, and everyone's else's special quirks that makes them who they are today? I stand no chance. Basically I'm jealous of just about every famous user here, and I long to be among some of the greats. I want it so bad, but I know it's just a silly dream. Maybe I'm just asking for too much. Maybe I just should be happy for what I have and just accept that that's not in the cards for me. But when you want something so badly, and when you see someone else having that thing you want so badly, it's hard to let go.

I don't want to be a forgetta-girl forever.