Well today was okay a few minor annoyances and stuff. Then I finally got on the web. Hit up facebook and I find a nasty message from my best buds girlfriend. You'll love this lady. Think queen chrysalis but as a normal human. I feel bad enough insulting poor chryssy just by calling this wench that. Anywho she got to me.

She's been totally abusive to her boyfriend, his family, and pretty much any person who is a threat to their relationship in even the near impossible slightest (numbers wise the chance of being a threat is incalculably small). She's been just horrible to anyone and everyone.

Unfortunately we know eachother, mainly cuz she tried dating me over the web, practically proposed through a poem, and then dumped me for my brother from another mother (we're practically family that's how close we were) as soon as she met him.

Speaking of said bf invited me to a card tourney this weekend. I told him I'd see because the city carnival was coming up. Here's where the evil queen starts yelling at me in her message. She's got her boy toy thinking that the other people I hang out with are more important to me than he is. Gotta love this chick and her dictatorship ways. So I reply that he'll have his chance to hang when I go to the tourney and that if he chooses to not show because I'm there that he'd better quit his whining.

The chick has pretty much destroyed our friendship with the control she has over him. He pretty much can't even go to the bathroom without her having to be there, or call him and then accuse him of lying no matter how true his answers are.

Anywho she's done some awful crap to everyone me and her boyfriend are connected to. We've done our best to help my buddy see her for what she is but she's got him under something strong. He's pretty much a slave, pet, and lover all in one.

Back to the tourney. If my buddy shows I know for a fact (psychic ability aside) that she'll be right there to keep him "in line" (more like under her control). Thus comes the biggest test I'll have to face in my lifetime.

I told you last night that I had an anger problem. Accompanying that is the fact that my mind works like an animals. I think like a human but I also have instincts like an animal. I could easily spin out different scenarios concerning what an animal would do in pretty much any situation. This kinda imposes on me because I think like an animal and will react like an animal.

In this case she has attacked and threatened members of my family group as well as myself. Any animal by now would have defended itself/ it's family group in whatever means necessary. Having a past and present filled with an out of control violent anger doesn't help much, especially since the beast's cage door has been left closed enough for only the slightest force to open it from the inside.

This weekend I will test how much control I truly have. It's a huge risk since, knowing the extent of my rage, it could end as badly as prison. On the other hand if I succeed in controlling my temper I'll have more confidence and maybe take more and more risks in the future slowly over time and maybe eventually get a job and not have to worry about my anger at all.

All I know is that either way nothing but good can come from this. If the worst comes to pass I'll at least have the time (and space) to learn and gain control of my temper. If the best comes to pass well than maybe it'll be the start of a long and bright future.

All I know is that my buddy and I need to have a heart to heart and that his girlfriend needs to learn her boundaries and to start respecting both them and the people in her boyfriend's life and that there are consequences (like her bf actually getting the guff and kicking her out of his life(if only)) for her actions.

As for things in equestria well....

I may have made a very big mistake. After a couple songs stabbed straight through my chest I decided that I needed to go back to my marefriend. I made my way back to her place from the borders of the country. At the edge of town I spotted her sister and her sister's two friends wrestling with some plants on their way to the zebra;s home.

I quickly flashed through using a forme that sliced through the carnivorous weeds and would kill them off slowly while keeping them from being a threat to the fillies. I made it a point for my "little sisters" to see me so they could spread word to my marefriend and maybe make my return a bit less dramatic.

I waited til night to show up at my marefriend's door. I rang the door bell and waited on the steps for her to answer. I had a few songs prepared to use as my apology. I was anxious for any of the scenarios that could take place to happen.

Then the door opened and her impossibly white hooves stood motionless in the doorway. Her sapphire eyes searched the area for anypony and then checked for a package on the steps. When they stopped on me time stood still.

Then a tear splashed down beside me as she reached down to carefully pick me up. For a moment we just stared into eachother's eyes and then I found myself crushed into her snowy fur in a tight hug. She was balling the words "she was telling the truth, you are back".

Afterward she took me inside and we poured our hearts out to eachother. By the end of the playlist (as many songs as we had that's pretty much what it ended up being) she looked at me and ended the whole tear filled romance movie scene with the most typical thing coming from her muzzle,

"Darling you're filthy and a bit strong smelling" she said causing us both to laugh hard. Then her face grew serious and I prepared for another drowning in the sink. Appearently to ponies dignity means that complete strangers (in the case of when we first met) are allowed to treat you like a pet, especially if your height is about an inch tall. I've gotten used to it.

Anywho things went straight from there to bedtime. Couldn't blame her as late as it was but on the other hand I was an adult, a powerful being capeable of easily assisting in several country saving events, sentient, and by all means her boyfriend. I don't mind curling up on a pillow beside her but I wanted more time catching up on recent goings on with our friends and others close to us as well as maybe some time to chat about our relationship and how much we loved eachother, Not complaining as one unusual thing happened. For one night so far she decided that I had all bases covered when it came to my safety and finally gave herself what she long since has starved just for the sake of my safety.

Though she slept more soundly than she had since I left I remained awake and thinking about the future. I have put the mares and citizens of the equestrian plane in danger by returning to civilization. If I'd remained in the wilds I may have had a chance to escape by keeping ponies out of sight if I learned that they were responsible for the gaping spiritual hole in my body.

Unfortunately I have a welcome back party planned for today that I must attend. Crazy mare has an addiction and searches for even the slightest reason for her to throw a party. She's done so many welcome back parties for me it's ridiculous. Worst part is she like to kiss the top of my head when she sees me and I know when such is coming as I've grown an allergic reaction to it in the form of an itchy nose (kiss a fool, fool being another term for clown, clown's are supposed to make people smile.... you get it, it's a term of endearment leave me alone). Maybe if I talk to the royals about things I might get the answers I'm looking for and be able to stop the worst future scenarios from happening.